Rain plummets furious and cold from the grey clouds, bouncing fiercely of the metal buildings. It has been almost three months now and there is a definite bump. Since I have started showing people treat me differently; they stare at me as I walk past or whisper to each other when they see me. Many people often ask if I need a hand carrying things or moving heavy objects; I hate it. I am still strong enough to wield my sword so I don't need their help. As the little demon grows inside me, I feel weaker, less able to defend myself. If things are tough now then I dread what it will be like in 6 or seven months when I can barely stand on my own.
I walk with haste through the hammering rain towards Arkadia. I have been sitting outside the wall in the lining of the forest to get away from the skaikru's staring eyes. The woods make me feel safe and relaxed but if Bellamy knew I was out here he would murder me. The rain smashes onto my face violently and large droplets manage to roll down my neck and get under my clothes making me feel chilled to the bone. As I approach the huge, metal gates of Arkadia, I wait for the doors to open up but they don't. The guards in the watch tower all have their guns trained on me. What is going on? Why won't they let me in? The gate creeks open a little and a swarm of guards ooze out of them, all with their weapons pointed directly at me. "Put your sword on the ground!" shouts one of them aggressively. What is happening? I refuse to put my sword down but I raise both hands in the air to show I mean them no harm. "I said put your sword on the ground!" the guard yells at me furiously. It takes me a while to figure out which guard is the one talking to me but eventually a broad, pale man comes into view. His hair is soaked through like his clothes and he has a large scar stretching across the width of his forehead. He must be from farm station, injured by the ice nation. "I am not a threat!" I call out to them as loud as I can, desperate to be heard over the thundering rain "I'm one of you!" The guards whisper among each other, none sure what to do. I think I can hear one of them say 'isn't that the grounder chick?' and another 'Hey I think that's Blake's sister'
Their slowness irritates me so I march forward, determined to get through. I have a check-up appointment with Abby and if I don't get passed the gates in the next three minutes I'm going to be late. The guards clump together as I get closer and they rattle their guns around. "Don't come any closer!" shouts the far station man. Just as I am starting to get seriously angry, Miller appears and pushes his way through the soldiers. "It's okay I know her, let her pass" he raises his hands around to get the army to lower their weapons, and though most do, a few still have their guns aimed at me. Miller trots over to the farm-station man with the scar, whose gun is still raised. "I said that she is one of us" Miller says to the man quietly but loud enough for me to hear. "Then why does she look like one of them?" he says not letting his eyes drop from me. Miller rests his hand on the man's gun and pushes it down slowly so it is no longer aimed at my head "Let her through". Miller's sudden act of kindness towards me is surprising seeing as I have only really interacted with him a few times and he did torture my boyfriend at one point. Reluctantly the farm-station man lowers his gun and calls for the other guards to resume their positions inside. A large clap of thunder rattles through the sky and the rain belts down even faster and harder than it was before. When I finally get to walk through the gates I see Miller leaning against the fence in his guard uniform. "Why did you help me?" I ask curiously. He smiles a little and looks at his feet, then back at me "It isn't right for a pregnant woman to be stuck outside in the cold" He half laughs at his own words but I don't find them funny at all. I lurch my hand forward and grip his arm as fiercely as possible "How do you know?" I say leaning in so other people don't hear. "Calm down it's not like it's some big secret" he says slightly alarmed by my actions. I hate it that so many people know. They will treat me differently like Miller just did. I let go of Miller's arm and turn my back on him, heading in the direction of Medical. "You're welcome" Miller calls out sarcastically as I walk away but I ignore him.
When I ultimately end up inside the some-what warm buildings, I take of my jacket and shake of all the rain. Whilst my jacket may be thick and heavy, underneath I am only wearing a thin tank top and it isn't long before I start shivering uncontrollably. As I make my way to Medical in search of Abby, I wrap my hands around my slightly prominent belly. I know that unless I get seriously cold, it won't affect the baby but I still feel as if I should keep it warm. I rub my arms up and down on my stomach to warm it up and without even thinking about it whisper quietly "Is that better?" to my stomach. What am I doing? It's not like it can hear me so why did I just talk to it. The thought dismisses itself as I enter Medical. A few people sit on old, metal chairs in the rusty room we use as a hospital and I can see Jackson running around, trying to see to them all as quickly as he can. I take my place on one of the chairs and when Jackson sees me he instantly stops his work and walks over. "Octavia!" he smiles with that broad smile like he did months ago "Abby has just finished prepping the equipment and is ready for you"
"What put you in such a good mood?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says still beaming.
Jackson confuses me sometimes, I don't really understand him but he and Abby are close so I know I should trust him. The bulky, white curtain that separates the rooms, swishes open to reveal a vaguely tired looking Abby. "Come on in" she says sounding almost out of breath. The floor panels creak as I walk across them towards Abby and a cool breeze in the room makes me shiver more vigorously. Inside the small room is a white bed for me to lie on and next to it, a large Machine with a black screen. "Please take a seat" she says.
Once I am lying flat on my back on the thin sheets of the bed, Abby switches on the peculiar machine and takes out a pot of odd transparent goo that she then persists to scoop up onto her fingers "This may feel a little cold" Her fingers slowly press onto my bare stomach and the clear slime comes into contact with my skin. My body tenses and I let out a slight gasp at the unexpected cold that is being rubbed consistently over my belly but after a few minutes the icy feeling subsides and I am able to relax once more. My eyes are intently watching everything that Abby does; switching on the machine; fiddling with cords and cables; pressing buttons on the screen. Everything seems to fascinate me. Excitement and nervousness pound together so forcefully in my head that I feel nauseous like I have done so many times before. A sweet expression grows on her ageing face as she realizes how nervous I am. "There's nothing to be worried about" she says with a content grin tugging at her lips. She clips a final piece into the machine and then proceeds to place an odd object on my stomach used to scan the foetus. "Do you see that?" she says pointing to the black screen with one hand. On the screen I can see a smeary silvery blob with a larger silvery blob attached to it. "That's your baby Octavia" A warm, comforting feeling of joy pulsates around my body like nothing ever has before. I can't take my eyes of the screen. That strange tiny blob is my kid-or someone else's kid- that I'm growing inside me. In all my life I have never come across anything more beautiful than that tiny white blob. Not the purple flowers in the woods nor the view from the highest mountain can compare to that blob and I will do everything in my power to protect that blob and keep it safe for as long as I can, even if I give it away.