Thanks for the reviews- I'm glad there are at least some reading this. So I managed to fit in a chapter during Freshers Week but as stated in the previous chapter, updates will be periodic as I adjust to my new life.

Chapter is inspired by the song 'What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?' by Jimmy Ruffin.

The noise was unbearable. Horns blared and heavy, choking exhaust fumes filled the air, clouding the grid-locked roads for miles. The pavements were no better; people weaved in and out of each other, shoving and bumping in an attempt to reach their destination. The New York rush-hour was a world of chaos.

Stella Bonasera expertly weaved in and out of her fellow pedestrians, striding smartly along the pavement and the many crossings just as she had done every day since childhood. Being a city-girl, she was well-versed in the chaos of rush-hour and it no longer fazed her. Managing to keep a hold of her coffee cup as a business man bumped into her, she turned right down an avenue and continued walking. Finally she reached her destination- a smart-looking coffee shop which was packed. The door chime tinkled as she entered and immediately she was greeted by her boss Kate.

'Morning Stella.'

'Morning Kate. Looks like it's gonna be a busy day. I'll be out in a minute.' She grinned, heading to the back and to the employee's lockers. On reaching the silent staffroom, Stella sighed deeply, taking a minute to regain her breathing and to mentally prepare her for the rush of the day ahead.

It had been four months since she had resigned from the crime lab. Four months yet it felt like an eternity. For twelve years the lab had been her home and her heart ached with regret and sorrow for the life she had left behind. She constantly wondered about her old friends. Of course she would have long since been replaced and no doubt the CSIs had long forgotten her amidst the rush and pressures of solving crimes but she could never forget them- her dysfunctional and mad family. She missed them all. Lindsay's friendship, Danny's banter, Adam's friendliness, Jess's advice, Sheldon's genius, Sid's eccentricities, Don's witty comebacks...but most of all she missed Mac.

Quickly she swallowed back tears and she felt her chest constrict in pain as she saw his face in her head. The pain was unbearable; it was piercing, crushing and stabbing. It felt as though her heart was being pulled apart into thousands upon thousands of pieces. Her life had become worthless, meaningless-a shell of what it once was. For almost twelve years she had been living in agony but the pain of the last four months was the epitome of hell.

Four months had passed and yet the hateful words spoken in their fight still burned her to the very core and still she could feel the fiery imprint of his hand upon her cheek. She hadn't meant to bring Claire into it. She knew it was wrong; so wrong but her temper had taken control and she had so callously uttered the words. When Mac had struck her, it had felt as though her heart had been ripped out of her chest. It had left her absolutely numb and filled with hatred towards herself for the knowledge that it had been her who had hurt him so. His abhorrence of her was no match for the loathing she herself felt at her own actions. She couldn't bear to face anybody. She so desperately wanted to disappear. And that was why she had fled.

After turning down the head of lab offer at New Orleans, she had sold her apartment, leaving behind one of the few places she had ever called home and moving to the other side of town, far from the lab. Her new apartment was bear, devoid of any belongings that would remind her of the lab or of Mac. Knowing that she could not survive on her savings alone, Stella's next step had been to find a job and after being turned down from many on the account of being overqualified, she finally found a shop as a barista in a coffee-shop.

It was a far cry from her past life and yet she had quickly fitted in, despite her reluctance to talk of herself. Her main aim in life was to keep a low profile, away from the possibility of any of her former friends and colleagues finding out her location. It was not easy to live under the radar but so far she was coping. She paid in cash and was paid by her work in cash so as not to alert Adam if he was monitoring her bank accounts and kept herself to herself, preferring not to socialise out with her work.

Her life had become a dull and monotonous routine-devoid of all meaning, and free from any of the past danger or excitement that a CSI faced. She woke up, ate a sparse breakfast, walked into work, worked till six, returned home, ate, cried and then slept. She would hardly call it living but it was what her life consisted of now. Her heart ached constantly- the only thing which helped her temporarily forget some of the pain was her work which she actually enjoyed due to interacting with the customers who came in and because of her colleagues, who although not like family to her, she was still able to enjoy a laugh with. She deliberately took as many shifts as she could from her boss Kate as it proved to be the only thing that could take her mind off of her heartache.

Even sleep which had so long been a refuge from the horror she had witnessed during her life, was no longer a comfort. Every time she closed her eyes Mac was there, his face plastered in a terrifying expression of hatred, the very same expression he wore when he slapped her. Every night she was reduced for tears and because of her experiences, Stella had developed a fear of sleeping and so did anything in her power to postpone the inevitable. Her life had become devoid of all happiness and laughter and was now plagued by loneliness and her memories; memories of the team, memories of the lab, but most of all memories of Mac.

They were walking alongside one another when she asked him 'Come on, didn't you ever tie a towel around your neck when you were a kid and pretend to be a superhero? A little Mac-Man maybe?

Mac smirked. 'Sergeant Rock. You couldn't get me out of fatigues.'

She remembered grinning at him in response as he smirked and even now she could still feel the fluttering of her heart at his words.

Oh how she had been so naive to think that Mac actually cared for her; to believe for even a glancing moment that Mac Taylor would have any feelings for her. The voice inside her head however could not help but torture her with memories of Mac following her to Greece and the conversation they had had about her conduct.

Her heart had physically leapt when he had said that he cared for her that but she knew now those words to be false. He didn't care; his only concern was to ensure that one of his people didn't cause an international incident. It was all purely professional; there was no other meaning to his words. They had all be false. Everything had been a lie.

There was one more memory that constantly plagued her; one of another fight she and Mac had had when on a case dealing with the shooting of a cop. She had been furious with Mac on discovering he was stalling on removing a bullet from the horse of the murdered cop.

She walked up to Mac and shoving the gun in his face, barked 'Surplus issued AR15 semiautomatic gas operated shoulder rifle. Capable magazine 5-40 rounds. In Stella talk it's time to get the bullet out of the horse. End of conversation.'

Later in the day they had, as they always did, made up.

As the both put on their uniforms, they smiled at each other.

'We haven't had a fight like that in a long time.' She had paused. 'Reminds me of the old Mac Taylor.'

Mac turned towards her. 'What Mac Taylor is that?'

She looked to him. 'The one who let his heart out of his chest every once in a while.'

Mac glanced down before looking once more at her. 'You're a fine CSI Stella. I could honestly say I couldn't do this job without you.'

She smiled. 'Yes you would.'

Mac looked surprised.

'You just wouldn't be as good.' They both smiled.

'Maybe.'

'Friends?' Stella offered her hands.

Mac accepted. 'Friends.'

Stella's eyes filled with tears for the past. If only that was the case now. If only they were still friends. She missed him so very much. Every fibre of her being ached with the pain she felt, ached with the heartache. Leaving the lab had supposed to have stopped her feeling this way but she had never envisioned the fight or its consequences and now the heartbreak had worsened.

'Stella?' The voice of her boss broke her from her thoughts and Stella quickly stood up and locked her locker.

'Just coming Kate. Sorry got a little distracted.' She called, faking a laugh before briskly walking out of the room, heading for the front.

Stella smiled sadly to herself. Although she enjoyed working as a barista, she just wanted everything to go back to how it was. But she knew that time could never be turned back. This was the path she had chosen and no matter how much it hurt, she had to endure and survive. She had a new life now, away from the lab and away from Mac. And with that thought in mind, Stella took a deep breath and faking a smile, she headed out into the front for another day. Another day without Mac.