A/N: Sirius's POV, this chapter is dedicated to BritishBeauty x, whose review prompted my editing of it. I hope you enjoy!

-C

Amy and I had finished our first Christmas and New Year's together as a couple, and she thought it was cute that everyone had gifted us things for the baby instead of things for us. Well, maybe it was a bit cute.

But I wanted things too.

I kissed her before going to the first Order meeting of the New Year, and I was excited to see my friend and also ready to jokingly berate them for their gift-giving decisions. It was convenient that they would not only all be in one place, but that they would all be in one place where Amy couldn't make me be polite.

I sat down between James and Remus, who was doing much better about the whole Sarah thing since he and Amy had been writing back and forth regularly and having tea every few weeks. He was still depressed, but at least he didn't seem even a hint suicidal anymore.

"How have you been?" I asked him, clapping him on the shoulder.

"All right," he said with a shrug. "Have you seen Marlene? She didn't respond to my letter last week. I would have gone to see if she was okay, but I've been so busy with the Order stuff…."

I frowned, realizing that Amy had mentioned that Marlene was rather slow about replying as well.

"Maybe she had a mission we didn't know about," I said with a shrug.

But I felt uneasy.

Dumbledore came in about two minutes later and sat down with a solemn expression.

"I regret to inform you," he said softly, "that the McKinnon family were murdered on Christmas night."

My stomach dropped and I looked over at Lily, who began to shake as tears welled up in her eyes.

First Sarah, now Marlene. A sick part of me almost wanted to speculate on who was next.

"Why wasn't this in the papers?" Caradoc asked softly.

"The office wanted to keep it quiet," Frank said nervously. "A family of eight all murdered and no trace of who did it other than the Dark Mark above the house…. Well, it's a bit of an embarrassment, really, that our only suspect is Voldemort himself. Somehow, I don't think he was there."

I gave a hollow chuckle.

Marlene McKinnon, dead.

And not just Marlene, but her mother and father and brothers and sisters…. And on Christmas. None of us had suspected because we'd received presents from her and no one threw a party for New Year's Eve.

No signs at all of who had done it?

Lily was openly sobbing now, and she actually got up to leave the room to compose herself, and I watched James follow her out with a solemn look on his face.

It had been strange when Mary MacDonald had died when we were at school. It had been a surreal sort of awful when we received news of Sarah's death. They had been people I knew. But Marlene, she was a friend. She was someone I liked.

She was supposed to be in my wedding.

"Oh, Merlin," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

"Sirius?" Dumbledore said softly.

I looked up at him, feeling tears forming in my own eyes as I thought of breaking this news to Amy.

"Is there anything particular you need me for?" I asked. "Or Lily and James? It's just…."

"Go and tell Amy," he said, nodding. "Someone can fill you in another time."

I thanked him and got to my feet, going out to the hall where James was hugging a sobbing Lily to his chest.

"Pads?" he asked, looking up at me. "What's going on? Does he need us?"

"No," I said, patting Lily's hair. "He said we could go. We've got to tell Amy. And maybe we can help these two out while they grieve, yeah?"

"Oh, I didn't even think of Amy," James said sadly. "She was going to be in your wedding too, wasn't she?"

I nodded.

We grabbed out cloaks and went back to mine, finding Amy sitting, reading a book. She frowned as we entered.

"You're back early," she said, glancing at the clock. "I haven't started dinner."

She saw Lily, who had just had another breakdown as soon as I took her cloak and hung it up, and her eyes widened. Amy rushed across the room, hugging Lily tightly and looking over Lily's shoulder at me.

"What in Merlin's name happened?"

"There was a raid on Christmas," James said hollowly. "The McKinnons…. They're all dead."

Her eyes widened even more and she glanced at me as if hoping I would tell her it wasn't true. I thought of Remus's fears for the baby at the news of Sarah's death.

"Don't panic," I told her softly. "Think of the baby."

"I am thinking of the baby," Amy said softly. "I'm thinking of how much I want a drink right now and that the baby is keeping me from it."

I sighed.

"James, go make sandwiches or something," I ordered. "And tea."

He disappeared into the kitchen and I made the girls sit down, moving Amy's book to the table so that I could wrap my arms around her.

"She went fighting," I said softly. "You know she did. It's what she would have wanted."

"She didn't want to die," Amy said coldly. "And the fact that she couldn't come out alive doesn't speak wonders for my own chances."

I froze, thinking of how I could better protect the house, better protect Amy and our child. Nothing was going to happen to them, not while there was breath in my body. It didn't matter what I had to do. Nothing was going to happen to them.

"Here's the tea," James said, entering. He handed Lily a cup and she took it with shaking hands. I watched Amy snatch her cup from him, and he held one out to me.

I shook my head, not feeling like putting anything in my stomach.

"We've got a photographer," James said conversationally. "For the wedding, you know. I'll send you some of his prints so you can decide if you like him too. His prices are good, especially for the quality."

I blinked.

What was he doing, talking about our weddings when our friend was dead?

But I realized how effective it was when Lily wiped her eyes and nodded.

"We've decided to let Frank play as well," she said softly, smiling a little as she lifted her tea. She sipped, put the cup down, and said, "He's good. And if he's coming anyway…."

She shrugged.

"Is Mrs. Potter doing your food as well, then?" I asked James, who nodded.

Amy was still giving us sour looks, but she was cracking. He was brilliant, bloody brilliant. Nothing cheered these two up more than talking about weddings except talking about the baby, and as that had already failed by my insensitivity….

"I was thinking," Lily said, smiling a little, "we should get our dresses together. Obviously yours will need a different fitting schedule, but we could at least pick them out at the same time."

Amy was looking a little less upset as she began to nod slowly.

"You'll have to get something ivory," Amy said slowly. "I suppose I will as well, but yours ought to be more yellow and mine creamier."

"I'm picturing you in silk duchesse satin," James said, and I blinked at him. What had happened? Had Lily truly taken over his mind?

Amy nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, and Lily should be in something like organza."

James agreed, and Lily blushed a little.

What were they even talking about? What was organza?

"Corsets, of course," Amy said thoughtfully.

Lily's eyes bulged.

"Do I have to?" she asked. "I mean, I know it's a pureblood tradition, but-"

"Trust me, Lily," Amy said with a laugh, "You'll be glad you did when you look at the pictures."

Actually, we would have to talk about a corset for Amy, because there was no way I was letting her wear one if it would hurt the baby in any way. But that could be brought up later.

"How long do you want your train to be?" James asked. Where was he getting all this stuff? "Lily's got her heart set on chapel-length."

What did that mean? It would be as long as a chapel? I barely stopped myself from snorting at that image.

"I'm not sure I really even want a train," Amy said with a shrug. "My mother didn't have one. Mrs. Potter wouldn't mind putting up our guests for the night, right? It's just, she's got all that space and we've got so many people coming in…."

"She's already planning on it," James said with a grin.

"Have you registered anywhere?" Lily asked. "Do they do that in the wizarding world?"

All three of us blinked at her, confused, and Lily explained the concept of a wedding registry. We assured her that there was no need for such a thing in the wizarding world.

The girls actually then both pulled out their lists of what was left to do.

"Oh, have you started on your invitations yet?" Amy asked. "We haven't decided on where we're getting ours done or if we want to do them ourselves."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of doing them ourselves," Lily said thoughtfully. "You know, I think we could do that, but then there's the programs…"

I thought about tuning them out, but there wasn't much time for me to do so before Amy grinned and said, "Are you two taking a honeymoon?"

I swallowed, blinking at her.

We hadn't even talked about one. I'd been thinking about the wedding, the child, the war….

But then when she said the word I had an image of Amy, newly married, writhing underneath me in some hotel suite somewhere and I already could think of a million reasons why a honeymoon was an excellent idea.

"Just a night or two," Lily said nervously. She was blushing.

"We know we'll be needed for the Order," James said, clearing his throat. "So while we want to do something, we know it can't be anything extravagant.

Oh, be extravagance could be measured in all sorts of ways.

To my surprise, though, Amy nodded and said, "That's what I was thinking, too. I figured Sirius could figure out the budget and everything like that, but…"

"Where do you want to go?" I asked, moving closer, putting my hand on her thigh and licking my lips slightly. Lily laughed.

"You know, that's the quickest way to get Sirius into a conversation about wedding planning," she said, eyes sparkling. "Bring up the honeymoon."

It was good that they were so happy once more. They'd essentially forgotten the whole tragedy of Marlene.

"Haha," I said sarcastically, but Amy kissed my cheek.

"I dunno," she said shyly. "What about…what about somewhere in Sussex? I've never been out that way, and…"

"Anywhere you want to go, love," I promised. "Pick any place in the world and we'll spend two days."

She kissed my cheek.

I'd been to Sussex a time or two and my mind was already thinking of cute little inns where I could take her. We'd take the train, of course, so I could spend the whole way there, holding her. I'd find the best restaurant in the county and take her there.

Amy and Lily began babbling about the sorts of things that ought to be done on honeymoons, and what should be packed, but then I truly stopped listening. I was already picturing Amy naked, sprawled out on the bed of some inn, giving me her sexiest smile.

In fact, even I had forgotten Marlene's death entirely until James said they needed to go, and that he would have to tell his mother the news.

"Oh," Amy said slowly. "About the bridesmaid situations…"

"We'll have Remus read in ours so things are even again," Lily said slowly.

"We'll figure something out," I assured Amy. We said our goodnights, and Lily and James left.

To my surprise, though, when I had expected and even hoped to immediately seduce her after we were alone, she actually took off unexpectedly to the kitchen, sitting down in a chair and frowning at the table.

"Amy?"

I crossed over into the kitchen, standing in the doorway as she looked up at me, still frowning.

"Her whole family, Sirius, gone."

Marlene was brought back to the forefront of my thoughts and I shivered. I took a step forward and Amy shook her head as she looked down at the table again.

"Amy, come to bed, please. I don't want to talk about this in the kitchen."

Part of me wanted to just kiss her and make love to her and forget about it until the morning but I knew that wasn't much of an option.

She put up no objection as I took her hand and helped her out of the chair, leading her to our bedroom where I pulled off my shirt, shuffling out of my trousers and crawling into bed, watching her shrug out of her dress and kick it aside as she crawled in beside me.

"What's wrong, Amy?" I asked, pushing hair out of her eyes. "Is it just Marlene, or…?"

She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder and I realized this would not be a night for sex, pulling the covers up over us as she got comfortable.

"It's just a lot to think of right now," she admitted. "I mean, between the war, all these deaths, the constant fear…. And then we're getting married, having a baby. I mean, what right do we have to bring a child into this world?"

She was afraid, and I didn't want her to be afraid. Amy was my rock, my everything. I needed her strength.

"I promise you," I said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead and touching her stomach gently. "I promise you that everything is going to turn out okay. I'm fighting this war because it's the right thing to do, but I'm also fighting because I want you to be safe, and I want a world where our little girl will be able to live without the fear we grew up in. Maybe it's a bit selfish, but I want this baby, Amy, and so do you. This child, this little girl, is going to be the most important thing in both of our lives, something to live for, something to fight for. I promise you that I am going to do everything I can to make a beautiful life for the three of us."

She was crying, her tears falling almost rhythmically on my skin. Soon she would start to show, maybe in a month or so. Everything was becoming so real. When I was a child I thought that by the time I finished school I might be married, but on my way to fatherhood and fighting in a war….

"It's just so much to think about," she sighed. "Any one of these things at once is a lot to take on, but we're having children and getting married and living in a war and…and I'm overwhelmed, honestly."

"Let's just try to take it one step at a time, then," I said gently, smiling at her as she lay back on the pillow again. "First of all, let's name our daughter. You're far enough along now that I think we should at least come up with ideas."

Amy blushed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I already know what I want to name her."

I blinked, surprised. When was she going to tell me?

"What is it, love?"

"Aludra Lyda."

I took a deep breath, turning it over in my mind. Aludra was one of the stars in my constellation. The Maiden. She was keeping with the Astronomy names, but I couldn't think of a Black I'd ever been forced to learn about named Aludra. Perhaps the name was too pretty.

It was pretty, actually.

"Aludra Lyda Black," I muttered, letting the names run off my tongue.

"Do you like it?" she asked nervously, her eyes shining with the remnants of recently shed tears.

"I absolutely love it."

I pressed a kiss to her lips, feeling her hands tangle up in my hair, wishing that this would be a good time to seduce her. I knew it wasn't, but every time I felt her lips on mine I wanted to seduce her. I also prided myself, however, in being sensitive to her needs, and this was not the time.

I moved to pull out of the kiss, thinking of the best way to hold her that night to give her comfort and to make both of us comfortable.

To my surprise, though, Amy frowned at me and pulled me into a deeper kiss. I moaned as her tongue begged entry into my mouth.

Did she know how easily she turned me on? Did she have any idea how hard it was for me to stop once she got me going? I had to stop, I had to push her away, I had to be sensitive of her needs….

I tried to pull out of the kiss again, increasingly reluctant to do so, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"What, is there something wrong with my breath?" she asked.

I blinked at her, a bit confused.

"No," I assured her. "No, you're perfect. Everything's perfect."

"Then what are you pushing me away for?" she demanded, rolling me on top of her and giving me her sexiest look. "I want you."

I groaned slightly feeling her legs wrap around my waist.

I needed to get better at reading her, obviously, because I hadn't even smelled her arousal, so lost I was in my own thoughts.

Submitting to Amy's kisses, I resolved never to assume that it was a bad night for sex ever again unless I got the words straight from her mouth.