Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jack sipped his wine and smiled as he watched his two dinner companions discuss the subject of baking with their usual enthusiasm. Ianto was in his element, his knowledge and passion evident as he shared with Estelle his tips on creating the perfect croissant.

It warmed Jack's heart to see the two of them getting along so well. With his mother far away in Scotland and his grandparents deceased, Estelle had kind of filled that void in his life, and he supposed that, in a way, it had been important to him that Estelle approved of his choice in Ianto. Which she did, wholeheartedly, having told him several times that he'd found himself a wonderful young man. Had Estelle been a few decades younger, he suspected that he might have had some competition on his hands for Ianto's affections. He just wished that there had been more time for Estelle and Ianto to get to know each other better. Since Ianto's mother had passed away many years ago, it might have been nice for Ianto to have Estelle in his life in the same way that she had been for himself.

Estelle put down her fork on her empty plate and looked at him with an affectionate smile. "That was a delicious meal, Jack. I'm going to miss your cooking. Almost as much as I'll miss spending time with my two favourite boys."

Moses chose that moment to make himself known with a plaintive meow from where he was sprawled out on the chair beside her, having been sleeping off his own dinner. Estelle laughed and stroked between his ears. "Of course, I meant my three favourite boys. Don't worry, my darling, I didn't forget about you."

"I think Robert might have something to say about that. Shouldn't he be at the top of your list now?" Jack grinned and picked up the bottle of wine from the centre of the table. "More wine?"

"I really shouldn't, but just a tiny bit more." Estelle held out her glass while giving him a fondly reproving look. "And you know what I mean, Jack."

Jack half filled the glass before dividing the remainder between Ianto's glass and his own, draining the last few drops from the bottle before putting it down again.

Ianto reached over and touched Estelle's hand, squeezing it gently. "We're going to miss you too."

Squeezing Ianto's hand in return, Estelle nodded and gave him a small, tremulous smile.

Jack swallowed a mouthful of wine in an attempt to loosen the lump of emotion that had suddenly lodged in his throat. Putting the glass down and clearing his throat, he forced a bright smile. "I hope you've got room for dessert, Estelle. Ianto made a chocolate, coffee and walnut cheesecake."

Regaining her composure, Estelle brightened and beamed at Ianto. "Oh, my, that sounds wonderful. Although, my hips might hate me tomorrow. I don't know how you boys keep your lovely trim figures."

"It's not easy, let me tell you. Ianto helps with my workout routine, though." Jack winked at the Welshman, earning himself an eye roll in return. He stood up and began clearing the table. "Which is only fair, don't you think?"

He carried the plates and cutlery through to the kitchen, rinsed and put them in the dishwasher, then busied himself with the coffee machine. It was a bitter-sweet occasion for all three of them. Estelle had sold her flat and was making the move to Cornwall on Monday, the day after tomorrow. He'd been helping with packing up her belongings over the last few days and was dreading saying goodbye to his beloved friend and neighbour. They'd keep in touch, of course, and Estelle would return to Cardiff for visits. Plus, he and Ianto were planning on taking a trip down to Cornwall for a few days between Christmas and the New Year. Neither of them had been there before, and it would be a nice break for Ianto from the bakery. It wasn't quite the kind of exotic location that he dreamed of whisking Ianto away to some day, but he was looking forward to their first trip away together and was sure they'd enjoy exploring the picturesque peninsula.

It was the end of November and five-and-a-half months since they'd started dating. Everything was going well between them and, little by little, they'd reached the point where they now spent more nights together than they did apart. Ianto tended to stay over at Jack's more than Jack stayed at Ianto's, which tended to suit them both. Rhys and Ianto had decided to continue sharing Ianto's flat to save money on their living expenses, and Ianto liked to give Rhys privacy since Jake often stayed over. The two men had become quite an item since Rhiannon's wedding, and the four of them had gone out together several times. Jake was now working full-time at the bakery, having given up his bartender job to become Ianto's new barista and apprentice baker. Ianto had been apprehensive at first about hiring Rhys's boyfriend, but it was working out well. Jake was a great guy – down-to-earth and easy-going like Rhys, hard working and conscientious, and terrific with the customers – and he was also a budding amateur photographer. Having three full-time workers was essential with Myfanwy's growing success – Ianto's dream had become a reality, and Jack couldn't be prouder or happier for him.

Two weeks earlier, they'd attended Estelle and Robert's wedding, then just a few days ago, Jack had met up with Martha Jones and learned that her wedding was booked for the first Saturday of June. Since then, a vague sense of discontent had taken hold of him, and he couldn't seem to shake it off no matter how hard he tried. He loved Ianto, completely adored the man, and he was more certain than ever that he wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together. But his impatience was getting the better of him again. Everything seemed too uncertain and unsettled, and a part of him continued to live with the fear that Ianto might decide one day that their relationship was all a terrible mistake. It was stupid and irrational, and Ianto had given no indication of being dissatisfied, but the fear lingered all the same. He'd never been needy or insecure, but he wanted more stability than he currently had. He wanted some kind of assurance that his world wouldn't, without warning, be ripped out from under him. What he didn't want, however, was to scare Ianto off by asking for too much too soon. It didn't feel too soon to him, but he knew that Ianto wouldn't feel the same way.

It was the worst part of being in love, he'd decided... knowing that your own happiness was completely at the mercy of another person, no matter how much you loved and trusted that person. That sense of vulnerability was perhaps one of the reasons why he'd actively avoided relationships in the past, even if it had been on a subconscious level. It went both ways of course, as he frequently reminded himself, but that didn't help him to feel any better about it.

"Jack? Are you all right?"

Realising that he'd been staring into space, Jack mentally shook himself and mustered up a smile as he turned towards Ianto, who was standing close and looking at him with a concerned frown. Glancing over Ianto's shoulder, he could see that Estelle had moved over to the sofa with Moses. He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Ianto didn't look convinced, but before Jack could say anything further, the Welshman ushered him into the corner so that they were out of sight and pulled him into a hug.

Surprised but nonetheless grateful, he held onto Ianto and took comfort from the embrace, his throat tightening with emotion again and causing him to swallow involuntarily. Pulling back a few moments later, he managed another smile and gave Ianto a quick kiss on the lips.

Ianto served up his decadent cheesecake while Jack prepared coffee for the two of them and tea for Estelle, and they all settled down to watch the grand final of The Great British Bake Off. Like Ianto, Estelle was a fan of the show, and Jack had grown to enjoy it too. He got a kick out of teasing Ianto as to whether he could replicate the many and varied baking challenges, knowing full well that Ianto could outdo both the judges and contestants alike. Naturally, he was entirely unbiased in his opinion.

Estelle took Moses home with her for the night, and after they'd finished cleaning up, Jack retrieved his rarely-touched bottle of single-malt scotch along with a pair of glasses. He held up the bottle to Ianto. "Feel like a nightcap?"

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Um... all right."

They settled back on the sofa and Jack downed two generous shots in short order, hoping that the stronger alcohol would help to settle him down. Pouring himself a third, he stared down into the amber liquid, then eyed the bottle and wondered if there was enough left to get well and truly wasted. He quickly discounted the notion, not wanting to deal with a hangover nor subject Ianto to witnessing him in that kind of state. He tended to get maudlin when drunk, which was the last thing he needed at the moment.

"You're quiet tonight."

Jack looked up and found Ianto studying him, the scotch in his glass barely touched. He forced out a chuckle. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Ianto shrugged, shifting closer and resting a hand on Jack's knee. "What's wrong, Jack? It's more than Estelle leaving, isn't it?"

Downing the scotch and savouring the burn as it hit his throat, Jack stared at the empty glass for a long moment before putting it down on the table. "I'm not sure you'd really want to know."

Ianto frowned. "If something's the matter, of course I do."

Jack wasn't sure whether if it was the alcohol that loosened his tongue or the compassion and concern radiating from Ianto's earnest blue eyes. He scrubbed a hand over his face, sighing heavily. "It feels like everyone I know has already tied the knot or is engaged and in the process of getting married. I want that too. I want to get married. I'm feeling left behind." Even as the words left his mouth, he knew that he must have sounded ridiculous.

To his credit, Ianto didn't bolt from the room. His eyes widened slightly, and his expression bordered on incredulous, but he remained still and otherwise composed. He did, however, slowly remove his hand from Jack's knee. "You've told me before how much you want to be married. And I know we've joked about it..." Frowning again, he studied Jack's face. "You're serious, though, aren't you?"

Jack nodded, avoiding Ianto's eyes and resisting the urge to reach for the bottle of scotch again.

"We've only been dating for five months, Jack. People don't get married after being together for five months." Ianto's tone was predictably matter-of-fact.

"Some do. Some people meet and get married a couple of months later. And we've been dating for five-and-a-half months to be precise." Jack cringed at the petulance in his voice and imagined Ianto rolling his eyes. He would have done the same if the situation was reversed.

"And how many of those marriages last?" Ianto sighed and his voice softened. "It's not something anyone should rush into. Some couples are together for years before they even consider getting married."

Cringing at the thought of having to wait years, Jack looked up, meeting Ianto's eyes with a determined stare. "It's different for us."

Ianto looked back at him, his features calm and unperturbed. "I imagine the people who rushed into failed marriages thought the same thing."

"That doesn't make it any less true. Owen proposed to Katie after they'd been together for six months. They're happy. It's not like there are any rules about how long it should take." Struggling to stifle a growl of frustration, Jack leaned back, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Acting like a crazy person wasn't going to help his cause. He tried to moderate his voice as he spoke again. "When you know it's right, why wait?"

"That argument works both ways, Jack. If a relationship is meant to last, it will, regardless of adding marriage to the equation."

Opening his eyes, Jack turned his head to look at Ianto. "Is it me? Is it because you don't see us staying together? Is it because I'm a man and you want to be married to a woman?"

Ianto stared at him before looking away and quickly swallowing the contents of his glass. He remained silent for a long, awkward moment. "Jack, six months ago I'd never even kissed another man before. I'd never imagined being in a relationship with a man. I'd never contemplated having sex with a man. To be fair, I think I've come a long way in a short period of time."

Although Ianto hadn't answered his questions, Jack couldn't disagree. Six months ago, he wouldn't have believed they could be where they were now, no matter how much he'd wanted it. He knew that he should be appreciating what he had and not fixating on what he didn't. And yet, some stubborn, intractable part of him wouldn't let it go.

"You have come a long way. We both have. And I know I'm being unreasonable." Jack sighed and tried to gather his thoughts. "You make me happy, Ianto. A month from now, a year, two years... how I feel about you isn't going to change. I hoped you felt the same way... that I make you happy too."

"Of course you do. But that's not the point." Rubbing distractedly at the back of his neck, Ianto released a sigh of his own. "Bloody hell, Jack. Don't you think we should have tried living together before we talk about getting married?"

Jack grabbed hold of that like a proverbial dog with a bone. "Okay, fair point. So move in with me. Then once we've done that, we can get married."

Ianto gaped at him as if he'd lost his mind. Then, to Jack's complete surprise, he burst into laughter. "Are you sure you're not part Welsh? You're worse than a bloody mule. It's like stags butting antlers."

Despite everything, Jack found himself grinning back. He was nothing if not tenacious, and he'd always considered it to be one of his better qualities, even though some might disagree, Ianto included. When he truly wanted something, he didn't easily back down. His persistence in pursuing Ianto was proof of that and it had paid off.

Ianto was still smiling at him with an expression that was somewhere between exasperation and affection. Then, after a moment, he sobered again. "Look, putting marriage aside for the moment... living together is a big step."

"I suppose." Jack shrugged, trying not to get his hopes up. "But would it really be that different? You spend plenty of nights here already. You like being here. Plus, there's more than enough room for both of us, so it's not like we're going to be tripping over each other."

Ianto continued to look sceptical. "It's different living together full-time. But it's not just that. This is your home, Jack. It's not mine. I'd never be able to afford a place like this. Not even half, probably. I don't want to be a kept man." He winced and looked down at his hands as those last words came out of his mouth.

Jack almost smiled. Ianto could be adorably quaint and old-fashioned in his outlook sometimes. Still, he could understand where Ianto was coming from. They were both proud and fiercely independent men, so he knew that he'd have to tread carefully. Marriage might not be in the cards for the foreseeable future, much as he wished otherwise, but living together would be a step closer. It would be a commitment of sorts, an indication of them being serious about being together. Besides, he couldn't see a downside. He loved Ianto and wanted them to be together.

He took Ianto's hand in his own. "It wouldn't be like that. This would be your home too. We can redecorate with some of your artwork and photos. You can pay your share of the bills and living expenses. I don't have a mortgage, but what you would otherwise pay in rent you could save instead... a nest-egg for the future. Who knows, maybe someday I'll decide to sell this place and we could buy a house somewhere." He squeezed Ianto's hand for emphasis before letting go. "The important thing is that we're together."

Ianto nodded slowly, although he continued to look doubtful. Still, he wasn't protesting, and Jack took that as a good sign. Doggedly, he continued on. "Look, I get that marriage might be jumping the gun a bit. I'll have to try to be patient. In the meantime, I really like the idea of living together." He looked at Ianto hopefully. "Will you at least think about it?"

Ianto stared at him for a long moment. He sighed, but there was an almost imperceptible hint of a smile on his lips. "You can be very persuasive when you want to be."

"Is that a yes?" Jack searched Ianto's difficult-to-read features, trying not to get his hopes up prematurely.

"No, but I'll agree to think about it. This is a big decision. It's not that I don't like the idea of us living together, but it wouldn't be fair to give you an answer without thinking it through properly first." Ianto's lips twitched with the hint of a smile again. "Especially when I find it hard to say no to you when you're looking at me like that."

It wasn't the unequivocal answer he wanted, but Jack supposed that it was probably the best he would get under the circumstances. Ianto wasn't someone who made decisions without careful consideration from every angle. He just hoped that Ianto wouldn't analyse it to death and come up with a hundred reasons why it was a bad idea. "You'll seriously think about it?"

"Yes. But if we do this, I want a moratorium on the whole marriage thing." Ianto gave him a pointed look. "Twelve months. Then we'll talk about it again."

Jack shook his head, hating the thought of waiting an entire year and knowing his patience would never last that long. "Three months."

Ianto's eyes narrowed. "This isn't a negotiation, Jack." Despite the determined set of his jaw, he sighed with obvious resignation. "Fine. Nine months."

Jack didn't blink. "No. Three months."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You're impossible. Six months."

Jack grinned. "Deal." He took hold of Ianto's face and kissed him firmly on the lips, intending to spend the rest of the evening demonstrating exactly how persuasive he could be.