Chapter 7: Choices

She hoped Barry was telling some sort of truth when he said he'd be out early with a client. The cab dropped her off and she spotted all three cars. No such luck. Barry was home and obviously awake. He pulled the door open as soon as she stepped on the porch.

"Oh my God. Look at you, my little sex goddess. I've been waiting for your text to come get you." She was crying before her mouth ever opened up. "Oh no, even him. Does every man make you cry after sex? Maybe it's physical and you need to see a doctor."

She couldn't calm down enough to tell him the actual sex parts had by no means made her upset, it was all the after parts that crushed her spirit.

"He just. I mean, it was so amazing and then... I can't. It just hurts too much to admit it out loud."

Barry held her close and ushered over to the sofa. "One thought at a time. Tell me. Are you saying that sexy Adonis hurt you physically? I will so go over there and bitch slap him if that's the case and truthfully, you know I'm capable of so much more. I might end up in the hospital in the end, but I'd do that for you. Tell me everything."

"No, we... well, we had sex. A lot. It's just afterwards, it went to hell when the morning arrived. Jacob would never hurt me physically, although I'm kinda sore. I'm going to need one of your special concoctions in my bath, maybe two aspirins. Also, a lifetime on the couch of a supreme psychiatrist, but no, it's not necessary for you to see Jacob. He made it clear he never wanted to see me again."

Monica stumbled out of her room wiping sleep from her eyes. "Woohoo, the slut has returned. Details please, I'm having a bit of dry spell, so I need to live vicariously through you."

Barry waved her off. "Can't you see our girl's in misery? Apparently, the stud of Washington fucked her brains out and then kicked her out like she was a hooker off the strip."

Bella shook her head and denied a few things. "I never said he fucked my brains out and he didn't use me like a hooker. You don't understand everything." Or did they read her better than anyone?

They tried to be understanding, but they'd already formed their opinions. She wanted them close for support, but she also needed to be alone. She knew from the beginning telling him meant the end of their friendship. She was so stupid to let herself get swept away by the earth-shattering sex and allow herself to believe it was possible for him to forgive her and actually still want her. He pulled the ultimate act of revenge and ruined her for any other man for life. He showed her what they were meant to be and then made her fully aware that she was beyond forgiveness. He would go back to his fiancé, and she would wander the earth unable to move on, never able to have sex again. It would be so lonely, but she already had something mildly similar to that the past few years, maybe it wouldn't be so different. Except, she kept remember being with him over and over, like every second since she left his room. That part was uniquely different. She might have imagined it a time or two or thousand, but now she knew without a doubt. How could anything go back to normal?

Well played, Mr. Black. You fucking won the war, my heart is conquered.

Monica brought her a cup of coffee and a bagel. "Was he a dud?"

Bella shook her head.

"Good?"

"Too good."

"Did you have multiples, because those are the keepers."

Bella pounded her head on the counter. How could she tell poor Monica that wanted to marry any guy that could give her two in one night that she honestly had no idea how many she had. She lost count at the start of the third go around.

"You don't want to give us details, do you? I get it, it's private. You love him, but what went so terribly wrong? I could tell you two were totally into each other. It was mutual."

"Guys, the sex was... I can't even begin to tell you how good it was. You'd probably hate me for life if I gave you too many details. I'd make you so jealous and I just lost the most important person I've ever known, so excuse me if I want to hang onto you both. Just know, he didn't disappoint me until afterwards. I thought he'd forgiven me for all the times I broke his heart but that wasn't the case. I didn't deserve a pardon and Jacob is going back to his old life in a matter of hours. It's over. Let me grieve it for little while and then I can close this chapter of my life." Maybe another decade would suffice, she thought more realistically.

They both gave her hugs and allowed her to head towards her room. Barry followed and said her special bath was ready. They both kept hovering, but Bella was drawing the line at letting them in the bathroom with her, but then something came to her out of the blue.

"Barry, will you cut my hair?"

"Um, sure. You mean now?"

"Yes, right now."

"Okay, but you're good. We just trimmed it two weeks ago."

"No, that's not what I meant. All of it. I want it short."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, please, no more questions, just do your magic."

Bella sat on a stool in the bathroom in front of the mirror. She was turned the other way so she couldn't see what was taking place, but she felt lighter with each clip she felt him make. He made small talk like a good stylist would, but eventually he got down to something important, "I don't want to pry, but ease my mind since I've told you before, you should be on something like most modern women. The sex god used protection, correct?"

Bella froze with her hands in her lap under the wrap. She tried to keep breathing normally, but she felt a little flustered. Barry and Monica had teased her before that she had a phobia of the gynecologist. It was so creepy in her opinion. She knew she should get birth control, but since her first two partners were so inept, she kept pushing a check up aside. She went one time for an initial visit and then quickly forgot about it. She'd sworn off sex for her education for the time being, so why did it matter?

"Your silence is deafening. I can't believe neither of you have a lick of sense." When he got annoyed, his southern upbringing always came through. It was part of his charm.

Bella tried to turn around, but he held her shoulders and said to hold still. He was almost done. He pulled the cape slightly at the neck and said, "Hmm."

"Hmm, what?"

"It's just he gave you a little nip, nothing that broke the skin, but what an animal, huh? No wonder you're so discombobulated. As I was saying, protection? Answer the damn question, condoms or stupidity?"

She did what came so easy for her, she lied her ass off. "We're adults, Bar. My gosh, you honestly think I'd ever be so irresponsible."

"Oops sorry, I guess not. I was going to offer to run out for an emergency Plan B, for our miserable B, but glad you were safe. That's a relief, because tall, dark and holla screams virility. I think you are going to be in my debt for life. Are you ready, little girl?" She nodded, so he shouted, "Tada!" He turned her around and she was completely shocked. It was so drastic, nothing like she'd ever worn. She looked like a new woman.

"Oh my gosh. I kinda love it. Thank you. You're a great friend. I'm so glad I have you."

"I'm glad too. That goes both ways, now get in that tub and wash away all the bad feelings. Tomorrow will be a better day. I promise."

She slipped into the hot, healing waters. Barry was the best friend she could ask for in this or any situation. Honestly, Bella should've let him do what he suggested, but her heart just froze in her chest with his reminder. Common sense flew out the window last night and apparently hadn't come back to her until she was sitting in the bathroom all alone, but it didn't change her mind. Bella rubbed over her flat stomach under the water. She mouthed the truth, "No Barry, I doubt even tomorrow will make this better."

Jacob somehow found it in him to gain control. He must be way better than he was as a sixteen year old kid. He only ran as wolf for about four hours before he shifted back. He went to the only place he could find sanctuary. He stumbled onto Sam's porch and fell to the ground. He pounded until Emily opened the door. She screamed at the sight of his slumped over naked form. Sam cursed, "What in the fuck happened, Black?"

He barely had the sense to register what was going on around him. Sam tossed a large woven blanket over him and dragged him to the spare room. Jacob strangled out a few words. "He's back."

Sam took care of him for the rest of the night. He kept Emily and the kids away from the room. Finally, by sunrise, Jacob was able to form coherent sentences.

Sam thought he must have come across a bloodsucker. "Once Jared smelled one when he was out near the pier in PA, and it made him sick, but he fought it off. He kept Kim near him for months, worried one might be in their midst."

"No, that's not it, at least not directly."

"Then what the hell started it up again?"

"Bella."

"Damn bro, I know it's tough and you think about her a lot, but how's that enough to send you over the edge?"

"No, she's alive. I saw her. That's what did it. That and the fact I had tons of sex with her."

"Oh shit."

Sam sat down and listened as Jacob retold the entire story. It felt so much better to get it all off his chest. He didn't plan for the confession to ever go further. Sam would keep his secret and that meant Emily would as well.

"What about Kaleigh? She's on the way, by the way. I told Emily to wait but you know how women are?"

"Shit. I wish she wouldn't have done that. I really don't want her anywhere near this."

"I know. Emily just said you got sick. Are you going to leave her?"

"I can't."

"I was talking about Kaleigh. Which woman are you talking about?"

"I won't leave Kaleigh. I already promised her. This thing with Bells was just because of him. Now it's all out of my system. The phase, the sex, etc. Now, I can move on."

"Sure about that? Did you mark her?"

"No, but I sure as hell wanted to. If it had been a few hours closer to the change, I would have." Jacob knew his brother-in-law had marked his sister which he never wanted to think about and that Jared marked Kim, but Sam and Emily decided against it because of the accident.

"Jacob, you're kidding yourself. Now that he's had the real deal, how will you get the wolf to settle for less? No offense to Kaleigh. We all like her."

"I know there are still complications. I have to fucking get rid of him, then it won't be a problem."

"You were the one that taught us how to stop. Frankly, I'm worried. If it could come back to you so easily, who's to say the rest of us aren't ticking time bombs? I, honestly worry that Charlie will convince her to come back here. What if she brings nothing but trouble?"

Jacob actually growled at his former alpha. He knew Sam was being pragmatic, but he didn't want to hear him talk shit about Bella. He could do that, but no one else had the right. Jacob felt it coming back, he flew out of the bed and took off to get far away from Sam or any other innocent bystanders that might be in his wake.

It was two days before Sam would allow Kaleigh to visit Jacob. She was a wreck. He was pleased that he actually felt happy to see her. He'd worried about that, but he was hopeful she could help him turn it all around.

She kept rubbing his hot head. "Daddy knows a specialist. I say, we see if he can get you in as soon as possible."

"No, no doctors. I'm fine. I just had bug."

She rubbed his forehead with both sides of her hand. "No, you're still very feverish. I asked Emily to take it, but she said the thermometer's broken. Isn't that weird? She has three children and no working thermometer. We should buy them a first aide kit, maybe they can't afford it." It hurt to roll his eyes at her. Sometimes, her niceness came out so wrong. "I was so worried, Jake. I'm sorry we fought. I bet you were getting ill and that's why you were so moody."

"Kaleigh, just take me home, please. I'll be fine once we get back to our lives."

Jacob was normally so truthful, except for that one thing he'd carefully hidden from Bells. He was lying to himself that getting back into a routine would cure his problem. He struggled everyday and sometimes he had to sneak off to the dense forest and let him out. He wasn't exactly retreating like he imagined he would. It's a good thing they lived on the outskirts of the city near the woods.

Sam called often to check on him. One evening, Kaleigh was going over last minute wedding details. He was trying to be supportive, but half that shit didn't interest him at all.

"Jake, could you tell your friends it would actually be nice if they sent the RSVP cards back. They're way overdue. I made it super easy with postage and return addresses filled out. All they had to do was check 'yes.'"

"You know all of them are coming. Jeez, most of my friends are in the wedding party. What difference does it make?"

"It makes a difference because it's proper etiquette and Mom's super stressed. I told her how many beef dinners to have, but she said it didn't match up to the replies. Those are the most expensive plates."

He slammed a beer bottle hard on the counter top and it broke underneath his fingers. He'd heard just about enough about this extravagant wedding that her parents were dropping at least 50 grand on. Jacob thought about how far that much money could go towards a worthy cause back home on the reservation. He looked down at the mess of glass and beer. He was bleeding pretty good, but not for long. He would have to hide that from her. She tried to look, but he jerked his hand away. She was not a big crier but he saw she was close.

"Sorry, I know you hate it when I nag. That's why I rarely do." She wiped at her eyes. He saw the exaggerated rise and fall of her shoulders. Things had not been so great for the past couple of weeks.

Jacob pulled his fiancé closer. "Baby, I'm the one that should be sorry. I'll tell them. Let me guess, it's Quil, Embry, and Brady that haven't replied?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm on it. I think they're all bringing a plus one, but I'll double check on their plates. Relax, we're on the home stretch. The wedding's going to go off without a hitch." He kissed her sweetly and told her to let him clean up his mess. She nodded and said she was going to have a hot shower before bed.

His phone buzzed from the desk. He checked it out. It was Charlie.

I talked to Bells. It was a tough conversation, but we're going to try and repair the damage from here on out. Her mother knows too.

Glad for you, but we probably shouldn't discuss her again.

Oh, sure. I understand. Thanks, son. I'll see you in a couple of weeks on the big day.

Jacob switched his phone off. He tossed the broken bottle and wiped up all the spilled beer. His finger was healed completely. He huffed slightly. Fucking wolf can heal almost any part of me in a few minutes, but it sure does nothing for my heart.

He was days away from marrying Kaleigh. He turned into a wolf again because of his desire to protect Bella, but he swore to never see Bella again. Could he ask for a worse mess? There was still such a strong pull to go back to Bells. He fought it daily. So many times, he'd actually opened his mouth to tell Kaleigh he couldn't go through with this wedding, but he always chickened out. When did he become such a coward? He weighed his decisions over and over. Was the marriage going to help or cause them both more pain? He loved the normal times, when he could remember why he fell in love with Kaleigh in the first place, but there were many other times when he only remembered Bella. Jacob was also having a major issue in the bedroom which she thought was related to his mysterious illness. He needed to snap out of it or she was going to have him in all sorts of specialists' offices.

If only Bella would have been honest. Jacob was also berating himself. If only he had been honest. Where would they be right now?

He had no clue that over 1,000 miles away, Bella sat alone in her room contemplating how far she was willing to take one more secret. He said he never wanted to see her again, but fate had already stepped in again to make sure that it wasn't the end of them.

~Thanks for reading.