It's all my fault. He's like this because of me. Laying on a hospital bed with tubes and wires hooked up to him. The only thing keeping him alive is my love, or at least that's what I like to think.

In reality, it's the machines that are keeping him alive and breathing. It's all my fault. If I hadn't wanted to rest so early, we could've avoided this. It was probably our driver who was drunk or sleepy, so its his fault but I cant help but blame myself. When the car hit us, it hit from Sebastian's side. He laid on top of me, keeping me unharmed as he took all the injuries and pain. I just laid there, still, unmoving, as his face twisted and turned in pain. I watched in horror as this vehicle was crushing the love of my life.

When we got to the hospital, they immediately took him in to surgery. When the doctor came out of surgery, his face was frowning. The moment I saw his face, tears fell from my eyes and I couldn't stop them. However, when that bastard got close enough he told me that he had lived, but it was very close, and they could not guarantee that he would awake from his deep sleep. He said you could consider him dead, and that there was very little hope for him to gain consciousness.

What little hope there was for him to live, but I couldn't think of the worst. Every time I would try to think of him dying and leaving me, I would break down. It hurt me so much to think that I was so close to losing him, my one and only. I wouldn't be able to see his smile, to hear his melodic laugh, his velvety voice, his muscular body, and his personality.

No matter how much he teased me or picked on me I still loved him because I know he means no harm. He was and still is wonderful and he's mine. The worst part is…I'm about to lose him. I can't lose him. I can't. I just can't. "Ciel dear, you have to eat. If he wakes up, he would want you to be nice and healthy." My friend, Mey, hands me a small tray of food. I take it and set it down on the table by my husband's bed.

She sighs because that's what I do with all the food she hands me. I haven't drank or eaten anything since he entered the hospital. I can't, not when my love's life is on the line.

Out of the blue, I hear beeping. I look up and I see on his heart monitor that his heart rate is decreasing. I panic and press the red emergency button. A few seconds later, his hospital room was filing with nurses. One nurse was standing back looking for something. She then looked up at me and told me to move. I did as I was told and I moved away from him. All of a sudden, his heart rate went back to normal. "What was wrong?" I asked her frantic.

"You were stepping on one of his air tubes. Please be careful if you don't want him dead." The nurses evacuated the room and I sit there, lost in thought about what she said.

I could kill him if I'm not careful. I could be the cause of his death. I look all around to make sure that I'm not stepping or sitting on anything. I hold his hand and I could feel tears burning at the corner of my eyes.

"Sebastian, my love, I love you. Please don't die on me. Be strong love. Can you even hear me? If you can squeeze my hand." I sit there waiting for a response and I get nothing. Tears roll down my cheeks but I don't make a sound. I just sit there like I'm frozen in time staring at his hand. So instead of crying, I sit there and start singing.

"I've waited a hundred years, but I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for What the privilege of being yours would do .If I had only felt the warmth within your touch. If I had only seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough Well I would have known What I was living for all along. What I've been living for. Your love is my turning page. Where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line. Every touch is a redefining phrase."

My voice cracks a couple of times and I let out a chocked sob. Suddenly, I feel something squeeze my hand. It's very faint so you have to concentrate really hard to actually feel it, better yet, see it. "Can you hear me?"

His hand moves again and I feel like the happiest person in the universe. I squeeze his hand and I start crying. "I love you baby! I love you so much!"

I didn't realize it but I was screaming. Mey runs in the looking frantic. "What?! What's wrong?!"

"He can hear me. My baby can hear me!" She starts crying and hugs me from behind.

"See. I told you he'd pull through. He loves you too much to leave you."

My man is still in there and he's fighting for survival. I wish I could help but there's nothing I could do.

XXX

Its late. Mey went home and I stayed with him as usual and held his hand. My love for him is unlimited and he knows that. He feels the same way about me. I smile weakly and I lay my head next to our two entwined hands. I look at our hands and chuckle. They fit together perfectly, like they were made for each other. I kiss his knuckles and I look up at his beautiful face. Its so peaceful and perfect. I want to feel those delicate red lips against mine so bad. He's perfection. I love him so much.

I close my eyes and I'm drawn into a deep sleep. This was the first time I could sleep. Its been weeks.

My eyes open and I'm standing there in a dark street, no lights. I can barely see my hands. Out of nowhere, I see this light approaching me. I blink once and the car goes through me and collides with another. That was our limo.

I drop to my knees and I stare at the scenario unraveling before me. The ambulance, fire trucks, and police cars come. I don't cry and I don't scream I just stare. This is my worst night mare and it had already come true.