"God, Thomas, don't touch my ass in public," Jimmy whined gayly, letting his inner-gay shine through his face.
"But it's so luscious. Why don't you let it go?" Thomas licked his lips and spat on the stuffed elephant, farting slightly.
They stood at the base of the steps in the servants' hall, a tray full of chocolate bananzas in his arms. Thomas had stopped him in his tracks with the slight pinch of his buttocks. Smirking daintily, Thomas was about to go in for yet another audacious action when Mrs. Hughes strode near them, stern and severe, "Ye best not be doooooing what I think yer' doing 'pon this'n stairs, you dreadful younguns."
"No, Mrs. Hughes."
As she shuffled away, Thomas and Jimmy chuckled. "Did you even understand what she said?"
"No-" Thomas smirked.
Several other servants made there way down Downton Abbey's servants' mucky hallway so Jimmy started up the stairs. On the way, Thomas pinched his butt several times.
"Tommy-Tom-Tom-Tom. Stop it, you!" shrieked Jimmy, phenomenally. Jimmy tossed the tray of chocolate bananzas back down the stairs and landed on Carson's head.
"What in the merciful God's Merlin's name?" Carson tumbled up the stairs like a deer, smashing his forehead into the ceiling as he ran, "Thomas! What is the meaning of throwing chocolate bananzas on my head?"
Thomas shoved his hands in his pockets, smirkily smirking, "Mr. Carson, I'm afraid I have no idea, nor does Jimmy because he is perfect." He turned and pointed to Alfred who was slithering up the steps like a snake because he is too tall, "I think Alfred might know."
But Carson wasn't an idiot: Snakes can't throw trays!
Titanically furious, Carson's face turned as red as a grape and he grabbed Thomas violently by the arm.
"OOOHhhh, old man, are we gonna go report me to the police for being super gay? Because last time that happened, I got a promotion, and if that happens again, I may just replace y-"
Thomas was slapped.
On the ass.
"Oh my, Jimmy. I didn't know you were a naughty little tiny small chicky-munk munk chipmunk."
"Oh, but my Toe- Toe- Thomas. I didn't do anything! You must know, my hands are no where near your anus."
"Well then, Alfred Snake Man, did you do such a thing?"
Alfred evolved into a trilobite, scuttling towards the chocolate bananzas, lying lifeless on the floor.
"No," Alfred laughed cold-heartedly and farted through his eyes.
"So, Alfred-mite. You haven't turned to the gay side, yet?" Thomas threw some coffee at Mrs. Hughes, who just happened to be tinkerbelling through Downton Abbey's servants' mucky hallway. She was knocked unconscious.
"Mrs. Hughes!" Carson stopped peeing in the yellow bucket and splashed the pee at the Swagalious dude farting beside him, "I'll save you!"