A/N: Vanessa's POV, this chapter is dedicated to BeatrizBlasphemy, who has joined the ride. Thanks for joining!

-C

"What's that?"

I rolled my eyes at Jack as he put marmalade on his toast. I drank down the awful potion Severus had given me to drink and I coughed.

"It's a letter," I snarled. "What does it look like?"

He raised his eyebrows at me, but I didn't really care if I hurt his feelings anymore. He let me do whatever I wanted as long as we were alone since I'd started taking the potions. They made my inhibitions lower, and I was so depressed and angry that it was hard for me not to lash out.

"Who is it from, Vanessa?" he said with tense, strained patience.

"My mother," I said lazily, unsealing it and letting my eyes run over the parchment.

I began to cry as I read, crumpling the parchment slightly as I clenched my hand around the letter.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. I set the parchment down on the table and said, "My potion is making me feel unwell. I think I need to lie down."

Jack said nothing as I left the room, hurrying up to bed where I threw my hairbrush at the mirror of my vanity and then collapsed into bed, sobbing.

Jeffery marrying that awful Susan Snow was a betrayal I could endure. My brother and I had never been particularly close, certainly, and I hadn't had to have the odious woman in my wedding. I had even found a way out of going to my brother's wedding.

But her having a child?

So it was a daughter. That was some small consolation, of course, but a daughter could be followed by a son.

My mother did not know of my condition. Perhaps she sent this letter to tell me what she thought was good news, or even to encourage me to work harder toward having my own children. Whatever the reasoning, all I wanted was to throw things at my mother. And my awful sister-in-law.

There was a knock at the door.

"Go away," I cried, but apparently too much sob was in my voice, because Jack only hesitated a moment before entering with the crumpled letter in hand.

"Vanessa," he said softly.

"Leave me alone," I howled, rolling over onto my side, curling up. He sighed, sitting down beside me, placing his hand on my side.

"Vanessa, please, sit up."

"Why?"

"Because I want to talk to you and I won't do it while you're being like this."

"How am I supposed to be?" I cried, wiping my eyes and sitting up. "Amy is a planet with two more children inside her, Evans is pregnant, Alice Longbottom is pregnant, I have to care for Narcissa in her massive state of pregnancy, and now Susan has a daughter? Jack, this isn't just about my pride! I will die if I cannot have a child!"

No one had ever exactly said as much, but the look that flashed in his eyes at my outburst confirmed my fears.

If I did not conceive a child, if I could not improve under Severus's regimen…Voldemort would kill me, presumably in order to make it possible for Jack to marry someone fertile without having the shame of divorce. I shivered and began to sob again.

"Vanessa, Severus said you can't fight the potions," he said unhelpfully, smoothing a curl as I fell back onto the bed and turned away from him once more. "You're supposed to keep yourself from getting upset."

"Have you ever tried that?" I countered. "How am I supposed to not be upset when everywhere around me everyone is getting pregnant but me?"

Jack did not answer for a long time, merely petting me as I cried. When I had calmed slightly he leaned down and whispered, "Focus your efforts on your revenge, Vanessa. Focus on what you have control over and don't worry too much about the potions and the children. If you die, you die, but you want to enact this revenge, yes?"

He was right. There was nothing I could do to improve the chances of success with Severus's endeavors. I had to be passive and wait on that regard. But I could still move forward my own plans, whether or not I was waiting for my death.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked as I sat up, wiping my eyes. There was something strange in his expression for just the tiniest hint of a moment, but then he smiled slightly and it was gone.

He shook his head and said, "No, Vanessa. Now, you need to remember that you're watching after Narcissa tonight while I'm at the meeting. Will you be all right to do that, or should I suggest someone else for the night?"

As much as I hated being around pregnant women, it would look bad for Jack if I could not handle it. Even more than I needed things to look good for him as his wife, I needed to be a proper wife for him so that I could keep my life.

"No, no I'll be fine," I said. "I'll just…take a bath or something and it'll be better."

"No baths, remember?" Jack said with a frown. "Until you reach the second stage of potions."

"Right, right," I sighed, rubbing the heel of my palm into my forehead. Everything in my life was upside down. "A shower, then."

"You'll be all right," Jack said, kissing her cheek. "I'm going to be in the garden if you need me until the meeting. I've got some things to go over. My mother is away, so you don't have to worry about her disturbing you again today."

"Thank you," I said, watching him leave the room.

As soon as he was gone I stood, rubbing my eyes and waving my wand to clean up and repair my vanity mirror. There was still a small crack, but Charms had never been my strong suit. I frowned. Narcissa, at least, would be sensitive where my mother could not.

Narcissa was incredibly large, larger, it seemed, than she'd been when I cared for her the week before. She needed someone to look over her other than an elf when Lucius was away because of her misfiring magic and her inability to move very well unassisted.

"I wasn't built for having children," Narcissa lamented as I helped her onto her bed. "I hope it's a healthy, strong son so I don't have to do this again. Even Lucius says he regrets how hard this is on me and, well, you know Lucius."

I nodded. Lucius wasn't exactly thoughtful.

"How are the potions coming along?" Narcissa asked as I brushed her hair. It was unfair how beautiful and soft it was. I frowned, wondering if she used something to make it so perfect or if her hair, like Sirius's, was just naturally perfect. I suspected it was the latter, and I was very, very jealous.

"They're arduous," I admitted. "They taste terrible, they make me feel awful, and sometimes they actually make me sick."

I said nothing of the inhibitions or the depression. I didn't want her pity, not for my real problems. I had more of it than I wanted, anyway.

"Would you help me moisturize my stomach?" Narcissa asked. "My mother is having me use this oil, says it will reduce stretch marks." She wrinkled her nose. "You would think there would be a spell or potion to get rid of them entirely, but I suppose even magic cannot do everything."

It was true, someone should have come up with something, but they were too busy trying to find ways to solve the impossible, like flying, to think about things that were more applicable, like stretch marks.

"Sure," I sighed, grabbing the oil from her bedside as she pulled her robes apart so that I could see her skin.

The bulging belly made tears well up. I would not cry, not in front of Narcissa. Instead, I touched some droplets onto my fingertips, rubbing it gently on her thin skin.

Even with the child inside of her, her skin was soft and supple, strangely translucent like bone china. The bulge was firm and strong. As I ran my hands along the skin, coating it with a thin layer of oil, I felt the child moving inside of her. It was eerie, disconcerting. I looked up at her eyes with surprise.

"He likes it when someone touches my stomach," she said softly. Lucius touches my stomach every night before bed in order to feel his son. He's very pleased."

I would have been angry with her if not for the bitter bent of her tone and the cold turn of her lips. She was certainly a Black. That expression seemed to be hereditary.

"Every pureblooded man desires a wife who can give him sons," I said hollowly. "I expect your son will have a very wonderful life. Perhaps Lucius will even marry him to Sirius's daughter."

Narcissa put her thin, frail hand over my oil-covered hand and I froze.

"Vanessa, there is still time. Severus said you are only in the first stages. It would be impossible to see improvement so soon." She smiled sympathetically. "Perhaps you will have sons someday, too. Healthy, strong sons to make Jack proud."

"And the Dark Lord," I choked. "They must please the Dark Lord or I am dead, sons or no."

Narcissa and I exchanged knowing looks.

She wanted nothing to do with the Death Eaters, but it was her only way of surviving, as Lucius's wife.

"When do you begin the second stage?" she asked softly, her gray eyes wide with kindness that I didn't really feel I wanted or deserved.

"Severus is supposed to bring the second stage of potions tomorrow," I said measuredly. "When he comes to check on me, and I will begin them on the morrow as well, if there are not complications."

"How likely are complications?"

I shrugged.

"He said he doesn't expect them, but he has to check anyway. If he doesn't follow everything to the letter, I might just die anyway, and then it would all be for nothing."

Narcissa's son pressed his foot against my hand and I looked down at her stomach.

"Have you named him yet?" I asked, running my finger along her belly.

"We have a few ideas," Narcissa said thoughtfully. "I'm rather partial to Draco, personally, but Lucius wants to name him for his father."

I wrinkled my nose. Abraxas was a terrible name.

"I prefer Draco," I admitted. "If I had a son…." I frowned looking down at the hand he was kicking at. "If I had a son, I would name him for Jack, I suppose. It's not a bad name."

"No," Narcissa agreed. "No, it's not." She bit her lip. "You know, my cousin may see himself as a blood traitor, but Peter apparently suggested that the twins are likely to have star names as well, following the family tradition. I think that's a good sign."

I raised my eyebrows.

"A sign of what?" I asked. "That he's still attached to his family?"

"That he's not too far away to be brought back," she said with a small smile. "With the proper incentives, of course. Lucius knows I don't want them to hurt the children, at the very least. Amy could be kept safe until she has given birth if she must be killed. But I think that keeping her alive would keep him in line."

Everyone seemed to have a theory about how to best get Sirius to join the Death Eaters, but I knew him and Amy better than they did. The stubbornness was absolutely lethal, and could spell the end of them. The important thing was to ensure that we had the children, to continue the Black line in any way possible. He was the last male, so if they could have a son first perhaps, but if not, it would continue through his daughters' marriage.

Severus came, as always, precisely on time the following morning with a box full of potions. I eyed the box anxiously as he set it down on the sitting room table.

"How have the side effects been?" he drawled, pulling out his wand.

"Uncomfortable," I said smoothly back, looking up into his black eyes. Jack had obviously told him of how I had been responding to the medicine. What else did he possibly need to know?

"Indeed," he said, his lips turning into a smirk, although not an entirely unkind one. "Very well. Shift your robes, please."

I did as bid, allowing him access to touch his wand to my abdomen, and I felt a strange squirming feeling in my stomach as he murmured a spell. Swallowing, I glanced down at him.

He pulled his wand away and looked up.

"Improvement," he said slowly, "but not enough. It is enough to begin the second stage, but you must be careful. No exertion that is unnecessary, and you should not leave the Manor except to visit Narcissa, I think. Anything else would be too strenuous."

"Really?" I drawled. "Is it really necessary to be so disgustingly over-cautious?"

"If I say it is necessary," he murmured in his low, dangerous voice, "then it is necessary. Understood?"

I nodded, but I didn't like the way he spoke to me. Still, of all the Death Eaters I had to come in contact with, Severus treated me the best, especially with the spreading news of my…situation. It wasn't barrenness, not exactly, but to many in my set it was as good as, even with Severus's careful attention to fixing me.

To my horror, I had become a bit of a joke in a set where I had hoped to be the next great matriarch.

"Any change in the expected side-effects?" I asked as he handed me my first vial of the second stage.

"No, it will be much of the same," he said. "Perhaps a bit less intense than in the first set, but the same sorts of issues."

I drank the vial and handed the empty glass back to him, spluttering slightly. He stared at me, unfazed.

"Well," I finally managed to say, "it doesn't taste as awful as the first set, either."

He merely stared at me for a long moment before saying, "I must ask you something."

"Then ask it."

"Why do you put up with Pettigrew?" Severus asked. "He will destroy not only those you hate, but those you love as well, given the chance. I think he would destroy those he loved if he thought it would earn him a safer position."

I sighed.

What I had expected to be an interrogation on my health and habits took a very fast turn to the unexpected.

What he said about Peter was true. There was a reason the boy was not Sorted into Hufflepuff. But I thought I had a fairly good handle on him.

"He does what he's told as long as you know what he wants," I said with a small smirk, tapping my fingernails on the arm of the chair. "And I happen to know what he wants."

"He wants Black dead and Black's wife for himself," Severus drawled. "Any fool would know that at this point. But you cannot offer him what he wants, Vanessa, what he truly wants. And when you cannot satisfy him, he will turn elsewhere. Yes, he is charmed by your beauty and attention, as he was by others before, but it is not beauty that will hold his loyalty. It is power."

My throat closed slightly and I found it hard to swallow. Power, I had found, was something that I very much lacked at the moment. For women who were not Bellatrix Lestrange, all our power seemed to lie in our ability to make heirs, and I did not have that ability. But I did not want to believe that Peter was so single-minded that he could be so easily swayed. I was confident that he was still in love with Amy, even though she was clearly lost to him.

I had to have control over him. If I didn't….

"Will that be all, Severus?" I asked, working to stand. Severus stopped me and helped me back into the chair when I stumbled.

"Do not get up for at least half an hour after taking one of these potions," he said sternly. "Forgive me. I should have mentioned it before. The dizziness is extreme, as you just experienced. It will fade when you've taken them more regularly, but especially at first, be very careful."

"Yes, thank you," I said, waving him off. He backed away from me, his expression unchanged. His dark eyes were almost icy in their indifference. "Anything further?"

"No," he said honestly. "That will be all."

"Have a good day, Severus," I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I trust you know your way out."

He bowed slightly, put his wand away, and left me alone in the room. Predictably, twenty minutes later, Jack knocked on the door to find me still sitting in the chair, afraid to stand once more.

"How did it go?" he asked, glancing at the potions. I shrugged and stood slowly. The dizziness was gone.

"They taste slightly less vile and make me exceptionally dizzy at first," I admitted. "But he says I show enough improvement to be in the second stage, so that at least is a positive sign.

"Indeed," he said slowly. "Be certain that you do not hurt yourself with this dizziness, Vanessa. Do not take these outside of my presence. Understood?"

"Perfectly," I said dryly, wondering when I had lost a husband and gained a babysitter. He hardly ever touched me in a sexual way since discovering my situation. I vaguely wondered if he didn't have a mistress, or some whore he visited when he finished on missions. But it didn't matter. Even if he did, there was nothing I could do to make him want me again.

What could be more repulsive than a wife with a twisted womb?