~A/N I'm a little crazy and I really didn't want to post since ff stats aren't working, but I guess I can make an exception. I might end up with 5 views instead of 4. LOL! Many of you are mad at Jacob, so I thought what better way to smooth that over than to take his controlling behavior up a notch. You've been warned.

Copyright disclaimer:Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 17: A Deep Hole

Jacob needed to run out back and phase so he could properly freak the fuck out, but he'd already been gone way longer than he should be. Bella. She looked like she'd been in bed all day. Her hair was a stringy, tangled mess and possibly had an oatmeal clump on the strand by her cheek. Her clothes were dirty too. He saw food at the neckline of her old shirt and he couldn't point it out, but she also had a big, round milk stain on her left boob. He should've never been looking, but he looked pretty often. All those imperfections and he still found her intoxicating. He promised himself in California to stay away from that damn mark, but he was sure on it tonight. She lured him to her without even knowing what she was doing.

He hated how he was making her feel. In the beginning, he was so worried how Kaleigh would take the news and how she was going to deal with everything. Truth was, after that first day, she pretty much stayed on his nerves. He was glad Kaleigh was a sound sleeper. He'd wait for her to go to sleep at night, then he'd jump out a window, he long ago bypassed from the security system. That was usually the only time he had much of a chance to phase and do his own patrols. He'd spend a long time watching the thin line of glass in the room where Bella slept each night. Occasionally, there was a dim light on. He didn't know if she was up with Ace or just awake reading. He didn't want to sleep in the guest room bed. He didn't want back in his California king either. He wanted to sleep under the garage. If he could get away with it, he'd sleep at the foot of Bella's bed.

Jacob was coming to a fast realization. He loved Kaleigh, he didn't believe he was fooling himself saying that, but perhaps he loved what she represented more than anything else. He never felt right after leaving La Push to go to school. Jacob had good grades, but halfway through junior year, he was about ready to give up and go back home. He never truly was a city lover. He didn't care if he had to work at a garage, working on cars was familiar and there was no shame in fixing things. Then he met Kaleigh. She was so different than any other girl he'd met in college. She motivated him, she inspired him and she made him a new man. That's what he'd been searching for all along, true humanity.

Bella really didn't want to be at his place and if she left, how would he not follow her? He was right back to where he'd been in the beginning when he first phased at 16. His wolf was practically chanting, Bella, Bella, Bella all the time. Maybe, it was time to rethink a few of his decisions. He was still lying to Kaleigh, lying to Bella and himself.

He walked back inside and watched his wife's face fall. He honestly could tell she adored his son from the start. "Where's Atticus?"

"Um, he's going to stay with his mom tonight. He was in a bad mood."

"Wow, that selfish bitch. She's trying to play games with your child because of what I said to her this morning." Kaleigh made a move towards the door, but he stopped her. "Let go of me Jacob, I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. I'm not letting her stay here, so she can manipulate you and use that innocent baby on top of that."

"I said no! You need to back off. You shouldn't have ever gone up there. I'm happy you like spending time with Ace, but there are going to be times, he just needs his mother. Stop starting shit. I'm not getting a lawyer and I have no idea why you're turning our house inside out right now. We don't need a nursery."

She pushed away because he'd been holding her arms at her side to make sure she understood him. Kaleigh walked over to the sofa and plopped down. She had the certain look when she was pouting. "You're such a jerk, you know that."

He'd been told that quite a bit lately, but he wasn't certain what jerk move she was referring to since there were so many to chose from. He wasn't going to back down though, he needed to get a few things off his chest. "Kaleigh, I'm done apologizing. That isn't going to help if I spend all my days saying sorry to you and Bella. I... "

"What? Are you serious? You actually think you've apologized enough to me? You're just getting started and Bella, why would you owe that cunning witch an apology? She got what she wanted from you, obviously and in the process, stole what was precious to me."

"Kay, Bella didn't steal from you."

"Really, because I'm pretty fucking positive she had your firstborn unless you have other children out there. How is that not blatant thievery? I should have had your first child. I'm your wife and nothing will change what I've been robbed of now. We're supposed to go to Hawaii in a couple of weeks. I wanted to try for a baby. I thought we were in agreement."

He stopped her there because they never were in full agreement. She was already super pissed, but he had no other choice than to cancel their vacation. He told her he couldn't go to Hawaii. She didn't even scream and yell, it was almost like she was expecting it. He really didn't want to talk about this idea she had about trying for a baby either. They weren't even sleeping in the same room, so that wasn't going to happen any time soon, but he needed her to know how he felt about that. He wasn't ready even before he knew about Ace.

"I have my hands full right now learning how to be a father. This situation is a total mess. I get that, so I'm sure you can agree, it wouldn't be fair to bring another child into our lives."

Kaleigh put her head in her hands and started to cry. He sat down next to her to offer some comfort, but he wasn't done telling her everything. He was starting to realize their arrangement wasn't working. It was taking a toll on everyone rather quickly. He needed to make the break, but he wasn't sure how to start.

"I hate this. I hate what I've done to you, but I think that it's for the best if... "

She stopped him right there. Kaleigh looked up, he looked into her teary eyes. "Mom's cancer's back."

Selene Langston was never Jacob's favorite person. He knew the feeling was mutual as well, but he also knew without a doubt, Kaleigh and her mother were extremely close. He didn't know her when she was sick, but during Kaleigh's senior year of high school, she was stricken with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She almost didn't make it, but then Kaleigh said they got their miracle. Her mother finally starting responding to a treatment and went into remission. She'd been cancer free for over six years.

He froze. She sniffled a few times before she started talking again. "Daddy told me. No one else knows, not even Mom knows that I know. She's waiting on more tests before they tell all of us. I found out the night before you left for California and then when you came back, all hell broke loose. I really needed you to be my rock, but we feel like a world apart now. Oh Jake, what am I going to do? I can't lose my mother."

He pulled her into his side and held her close. Things just kept getting worse and worse. Kaleigh helped him through some tough times, probably more than she realized. He couldn't run out on her right now. She was going through too much. She cried silently into his shoulder. He told her everything was going to be alright even though he didn't know that for certain.

She finally composed herself and started talking again. "You know Mom always said I was her only hope for grandchildren. Devon is too much of a playboy and Celeste is probably too vain to have children. She joked she might adopt teen daughters one day, just to have shopping buddies. I'm the only nurturer of the bunch. It's really tragic to imagine my parents never sharing all that love in their hearts with their grandchildren."

"Kay... "

"I know what you mean about our lives being upside down right now, but I was just thinking maybe if things are different in a few months, what if?" He knew what she was about to ask, but he remained quiet. "I mean, I bet that the possibility of a grandchild would give Mom a fighting spirit and the will to live. I'm sure it would work wonders for her beating this the second go around."

"Do they know what type? Is it the same or something else?"

"Um, I don't know, Daddy wasn't specific. He just needed to confide in someone. I'll know more later, but don't say anything to anyone, okay. We have to act completely normal at this party."

"About that? If you don't want them to know about Ace just yet, then why are you changing that extra room so soon?"

"I'll have everything in order by Friday. Besides, no one snoops around our bedrooms. It'll be fine. You're mad about the nursery, aren't you?"

"Um, no, but I'm not sure it's the best idea right now and I don't understand why you had to say some of the things you said to Bells."

Their peaceful moment came to an abrupt halt. Kaleigh pushed herself up. "Oh yeah, how stupid of me. Bells is who's really important. Silly me, I thought it was your son. Fuck that whore. I can't believe you have the audacity to sit here and call her pet names in front of me. I'm an idiot. For a second, I thought I was still just as important to you as I once was. I guess this entire marriage has been one huge lie... me lying to myself mostly."

He tried to stop her. They still had things to talk about, but Kaleigh grabbed her dinner and headed into their room. She told him to clean up, that she was turning in. He heard her click the lock. God, he was the real idiot and his life just got even more twisted. He wanted to possibly release Kaleigh, but she'd knocked him for a loop with her mother's cancer recurrence. There was still no way he was having a baby with her. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her mother, but they'd have to find some hope elsewhere. Judging how she reacted when he put his foot in his mouth and talked about Bells to her, he doubted she'd ever want him to touch her again. Jacob cleaned the kitchen up and sat down in front of the TV until he felt exhausted. He decided not to think about anything serious the rest of the night. He'd only screw up no matter how good his intentions were.

A few days went by. Kaleigh continued with the room project, Ace came over a couple evenings, never longer than an hour. He had Seth and Collin coming over tonight. Bella offered to cook, but he told her Seth was bringing pizza. They didn't want to put her out. He really wanted Collin on board, it was obvious Seth was already there. If it hadn't been for this party, he'd head home to the res and talk it over with all the former pack. That would have to wait until the following weekend, which worked out for the best maybe. A friend of Kaleigh and her sister was having a bachelorette weekend. She already made the statement she wasn't comfortable going and leaving him home for the weekend with Bella. He said Bella was going to visit her father and he might do the same. He hadn't seen Billy in a long time. He added separate cars, different houses, but he knew it already sounded suspicious, so he quickly changed the subject. They'd talk about it later. He hadn't even discussed it with Bella either.

Jacob couldn't really make an excuse to hang out at their pizza party, but he found two large boxes on his doorstep when he came home from work. Kaleigh was working late which was good, seeing Bella get mail at their house would have probably sent her into another frenzy and they'd had a couple quiet days. He picked up the boxes one at a time and sat them on the doorstep. He knocked because Bella told him to stop walking in unannounced. She opened up, and he couldn't help but smiling at her. She looked so good, nothing glamorous or special, just like herself. No more oatmeal or tangles. He also couldn't get over the scent that poured out of the small space each time he opened the door. Family. Home. Pup. Mate. Those were some of his random thoughts in various order. Bella didn't look overly thrilled to see him recently, she frowned when she saw him. Then she looked at the boxes.

"Oh cool, the rest of our things."

She pulled the door all the way open and he brought in the first box. Bella tried to pick up the second one, but he told her he'd get it. "Where should I put these?"

"In front of the couch. I need to go through them."

He sat the big one down first, but when he carried the second one, he noticed a noise coming from inside. "Oh, this one's buzzing. Maybe one of Ace's toys came on." He started to open it. No sense letting the batteries run out. He didn't even think before he ripped the tape. He had one flap open before Bella sprinted across the room shouting for him to stop. All Jacob managed to see was a small, hot pink bag. He never knew Bella had such reflexes or hurdling abilities. She practically jumped a table and a chair to shove him over in order to grab whatever was in that bag. She scooped it out of the box and ran to the bedroom with the object in her hand.

What the hell?

He started following out of sheer curiosity, but Bella was hiding whatever was so secretive in a drawer. "Go away, Jake. Thanks for bringing in the boxes, but I don't need your help with the rest."

"Jeez, what did I do? What is that?"

"None of your business."

"Fine, I was only trying to help. I figured you wanted me to shut it off if something was running down batteries. Those aren't cheap."

Bella was beet red. Why in the hell was she so embarrassed? He tried to think about what he saw and the strange humming sound. Ding. He finally figured it out and he couldn't hide a snicker.

"Shut up, Jake. It's not what you think."

"How do you know what I'm thinking? I didn't say anything."

She walked back in the living room to start going through the rest of the boxes. Jacob watched her pull out blankets and baby toys, but she didn't say much or make eye contact with him.

"Ace is sleeping?" He knew that, but really just wanted to make small talk.

"Yes."

"You two doing okay? You ready to visit Seth and get to know Collin a little better this evening?"

"Jake, you can drop the act. You're dying to make fun of me right now. I know it."

He played dumb, "About what?"

"It was Bar, okay. He's being facetious. I swear, I tossed that thing in the trash before I left. It's not mine."

"Ew, you mean he sent you someone else's vibrator? That's fucking nasty." She picked up a stuffed zebra and tossed it at his head. He ducked, "You missed."

Bella explained Barry and Monica were always a little too concerned with her sexual health and maybe they bought her specific things when they shouldn't have. It was obvious she didn't want to have those types of private conversations with anyone. She was barely losing her blush, those bright red cheeks were still a subtle shade of pink.

He wasn't going to harass her any further. He told her he'd never speak of it again. Bella was a grown woman. She had needs and he couldn't help being immensely satisfied that she was satisfying those needs with a battery powered companion other than a living, breathing man who might hurt her one day, who really had no right to touch her body. He pretty much knew no man on earth deserved her, including himself.

He looked at her open laptop, so he changed the subject, "What's all this?"

"Possible job prospects."

"Oh, well, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I think you should probably hold off getting a job for now. I like the idea of you and Ace being in one central location. Besides, I don't want him a crowded daycare with a bunch of strangers' kids."

"I'm not crazy about daycare at his age either, but I need to work. I'll do what I have to in order to support us."

"That's what I'm saying, Bells. I'm good with supporting you both. I want to."

"Well, thanks, but no thanks. I've already made some calls. I have an interview next week and if it goes well, I'm going to start visiting daycares. Of course, you can come with me. I want to include you since it's an important decision."

Bella wasn't understanding his calm, rational side. That was actually a total ruse he put on for the outside world now. There was absolutely nothing calm or peaceful about Jacob Black any longer.

"NO!"

"I'm sorry, you're shouting for what reason... no, what?"

"No, you're not taking him to a daycare and you're not getting a job right now. End of discussion."

He was going to leave on that note, Kaleigh would probably be home any second.

Bella was on him in a matter of seconds, following close behind him, screaming at the top of her lungs. Their son must be a sound sleeper. "Who the hell do you think you are? I came here to allow you and Atticus to be close, not for you to dictate my life to me. I love staying home and taking care of him. I know there's purpose in that, but I also worked damn hard to earn a degree. I want to work too. I don't have to have a full-time position right now. I'd rather not, to be honest, but I'll be damned if you're going to tell me I can't leave this place and go out to earn my own money."

"Bella, protecting Ace is my sole purpose right now." She was just as important, but he didn't say so. "You'd be in one location, he'd be in another and I'd be at work. I'm already trusting bloodsuckers way more than I should. Quit making me sound like an asshole dictator. You know there's more to the story than that."

"All hail, mighty Alpha Black." She saluted him for added effect.

He was on a roll, might as well piss her off further. "It's probably a good idea, Barry sent your little friend, because it goes without saying that if I don't want my son around a bunch of snotty-nosed brats, I sure as hell don't want any strange men coming in and out of his life as well. Let's keep contact with others minimal until I see how determined the head leech is about pursuing your whereabouts. I'm out, I'll check on Ace later."

This time, he planned on going down to the garage, maybe he'd throw a few tools. He needed to toss some shit around, possibly break a few things because he needed an outlet for his frustrations. He certainly wasn't expecting her to start assaulting him, but Bella pounded his back as soon as he took a step towards the lower level of the garage.

"No you don't. We're not done here. Get your ass back up these stairs. How dare you? I would never put our son at risk. I have no intention of ever bringing 'strange men' around him."

"Good, then we're in agreement."

"No, not at all, asshole. I mean I would be very careful and selective about anyone I meet. However, one day, I'm hopeful to meet a nice guy and then whenever I decide it's the right time, I'll introduce him to Atticus. I can assure you that I won't be asking your input on the topic now or ever. It's not any of your damn business. You forced me into allowing another woman in his life already, so if and when I date, you can plan on staying out of it. When did you became such a misogynist? Man knows best, woman is inferior, etc. I know Billy didn't raise you that way."

He interrupted her, "Yeah, well Billy Black sure isn't a saint. He taught me very little about relationships with women."

"What the hell does that even mean? I know how close you two were. He was always much more open and forward thinking. You, however have just about reverted back to caveman status. I sure as hell don't want you making these sort of impressions on my son. Get a fucking grip, Jake. This is very unbecoming and I'm not going to stand for it. I might as well go back to California. I already have a ticket by the way."

He stalked back up the stairs with a flame of rage burning up and down his spine. He was never anti-woman, she was misconstruing every single thing he ever spoke every time he opened his mouth. He was sick of it. "What the fuck do you mean you have a ticket?"

"I have always had an emergency plan in place as soon as I left the Cullens. Nothing's changed, I still have one."

"From me or from Aro?"

"Either. More like whoever poses the biggest threat and right now, you fit the bill. You're being outrageous."

"You said you'd never take my son from me, are you back to your old lying ways?"

"Correction, I said I'd never leave without telling, so this is me telling you. Back off or I'm leaving with Atticus. You can visit, of course, but this other bullshit ends right now. I mean it, Jake."

"Fine... work then. However, I deserve a heads up, so I can make arrangements if you find a job or plan on handing my son over to some minimum wage employee that resents her life and probably secretly hates children."

"I never asked permission for working or dating, just so we're clear. Goodbye, Jacob. We're done for the day and I'd like to straighten up before my company arrives."

"I'd like an answer first."

"Here's your answer," she pointed to the front door. "Get the fuck out."

Jacob slammed the door shut. He heard Ace screaming before he got to the driveway. The kid could sleep through loud voices, but not that. He would remember that tidbit. He ran straight for the woods. Kaleigh would wonder what the hell he was up to if his car was there but he was missing. He'd worry about that later, he needed to run, he needed to let his wolf out. Bella was nothing but trouble, same story, different day. The worst realization was he still loved her more than anything and if Kaleigh hadn't dropped that cancer bomb on him, he would have told her by now. Instead, he and Bella were at each other's throats more than ever and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to change that for the time being. Someone needed to make a change and it sure as hell wouldn't be him. It became very clear to Jacob, he might end up isolated and alone, without a friend in the world and he was starting to care less and less.

~Thanks for reading.

And on that note, feel free to hit me hard with your thoughts.