Warning: This chapter contains copious amounts of emotional lemony sweetness. Oh, and I'm not sure if I've actually written it yet, but I chose Nicole as Shepard's first name. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! XD
P.S. I'm taking a little artistic license into asari anatomy since it seems to be a bit of a mystery. If there's some book or cannon out there in the Bioware universe that addresses it, I am unaware. So please don't get all offended if I get it wrong.
Chapter 7
"Assuming control."
Death.
Bathe in the blood of legions.
"This hurts you, Shepard."
Pain.
So much blood. So much violence. So much death . . . .
Shepard jerked upright with a gasp. Her ribs protested at the sudden change in position and her shrapnel wound was throbbing. She was damp. Christ, she was a sweaty mess. Her hair felt sticky on her neck. She rubbed her face, battling back unwanted emotion from surfacing. Damnit, she really didn't want to face what was trying to come up out of her. She'd been suppressing since she woke up from her coma. The truth was, she was tired. She had given everything to put an end to the war. Every inch of herself. The only thing keeping her alive was Liara and their unborn child. It may have sounded like a romantic sentiment, but it didn't sit comfortably with her. She needed her own reasons to be alive, otherwise she was completely dependent on Liara. She hated the thought of putting that burden on Liara. Liara deserved better than that. But if not for Liara, what did she have to live for? She had done her job. She ended the reapers. The galaxy was safe. Sure, the krogan could become a problem with the cure of the genophage, the geth could still decide to rise up against their creators, the rachni were still out there, the batarians were always a problem, and humans didn't exactly have a reputation for keeping the peace . . . .
Truth was, the galaxy seemed to be just as big a mess as it was before. Only now there was no threat of being wiped out by an ancient powerful foe, just each other. Shepard wasn't sure which was worse. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and stood, careful not to disturb Liara. She grabbed the cane sitting next to the bed and slowly limped to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and grimaced. She wasn't the kind of person to obsess over appearances, but she looked like a mess. If she decided to try and intimidate someone, she could probably make a lot of people piss themselves. Dr. Chakwas assured her that she could help significantly fade the scarring, but Shepard still had her doubts.
She turned on the cool water and splashed her face. She left her hands on her face for quite sometime as if trying to shut out the galaxy around her. She needed to reboot. Her body had already been rebooted (again), but her mind couldn't seem to catch up. She needed to mourn, to collect herself, to accept everything that had happened and somehow find a way to move on. She needed to be mentally fit in a little over eight months to be the best mother she could be. She needed a task, a mission, something to focus on. Right now she was drifting, awaiting the reply of the Council to approve her ambassador request. And she felt a certain pressure from the Alliance-they had let her know they were unhappy with her decision to turn down an admiralty position. Especially Hackett. He was a military man through and through, so she could certainly understand his unhappiness, but it didn't make her want to change her mind. It made her want to disappear. Hadn't she already done enough for the Alliance, for the galaxy?
Deciding she felt gross and clammy, she closed the bathroom door so as not to disturb her sleeping bondmate and slipped into the ever-bubbling hot tub in the floor. She turned the heat and bubbles up until her muscles started to relax. It burned her injured arm a bit, but the waterproof bandages did their job for the most part. She willed her mind to think of the possibilities of her future rather than dwell on the unpleasantness of the past. She thought of what their daughter would look like, what she would act like, who she would become. She imagined waking up one morning on Thessia with their little blue girl jumping on the bed, demanding attention from her parents and excited to start a new day.
A smile made its way to the corners of Shepard's lips. But with it came a wave of sorrow that would not be denied. More than anything, she wanted to go to Liara, to wake her, hold her, to feel her inside her mind and body. But she couldn't. Liara was pregnant, she needed sleep.
Like the breaking of a dam, all of her emotions flooded forth. She cried for the loss of Mordin, Legion, Thane, Anderson, Kaidan, and all those who came before. She cried for all the victims of the reapers in all the previous cycles. And she cried hard in sheer relief that it was finally over.
Liara stood outside the bathroom, her forehead and hands resting against the door. She wanted more than anything in the universe to go to Shepard, but it was times like these that she was unsure how to proceed. She had certainly learned a lot about interacting with humans since their first meeting on Therum, but Shepard didn't exactly fit the human standard. But she did know that Shepard needed her and that she, in turn, needed Shepard.
It had been six weeks since Shepard woke up from her coma, and still they hadn't really had the chance to talk about everything that happened. Liara set her jaw in determination. Slipping out of her satin N7 nightgown (that she'd bought from the ever-convenient gift shop), she slid open the door.
Tear-stained violet eyes looked up from the hot tub in surprise. Liara crossed the room in an instant and lowered herself into the tub. The hot water burned her skin but she didn't care. All that mattered was her beloved Commander.
Shepard began opening her mouth in inquiry, but Liara placed her fingers lightly over her lover's lips. She straddled her bondmate and brought their lips together in a deep, desperate kiss. She felt Shepard's strong arms travel up her body, felt fingertips dig into her back, pulling her in as close as was physically possible. Liara ran her hands through Shepard's lovely red hair and gave her lover what she desired. Breaking the kiss, she rested her cheek against Shepard's temple and braced herself for the meld.
Though she was ready for it, nothing could have prepared her for it. A tidal wave of emotion flooded over her, leaving her temporarily gasping for air. Shepard had so much pain. It broke Liara's heart a thousand times over, with every wave of pain she felt. Shepard shared everything. She shared the pain of watching Mordin enter the elevator, watching helplessly as the doors closed and he vanished forever, sacrificing himself to save the krogan people. She felt Shepard's anguish of watching Legion collapse in front of her to give free will to his people. She felt the guilt and pain of knowing Thane had sacrificed himself to save her. She felt the burdens Shepard carried, the weight of the galaxy she'd been carrying since the war started. She felt Shepard's helplessness as she watched Earth, Palaven, and Thessia burn. She even felt the pain of watching Saren place his gun to his head and pull the trigger. Shepard felt such overwhelming compassion for him, knowing he had been a tool but not being able to do anything about it. The fact that she was even crying for her enemies broke Liara's heart all the more.
Liara deepened the meld until the lines between them blurred, and their emotions, their pain, and their sensation became one. She felt Shepard's aching muscles and sent a biotic pulse through her lover again and again, and with each pulse she included a wave of love, until Shepard melted completely into her and her pain was eased into nothingness.
Liara gently rocked her lover, taking in all of her pain and sharing her own. She held her beloved Commander until every last shuddering sob escaped her lips, and the only sound left was the soft bubbling of the hot tub. They stayed like this for a long time, both feeling the relief of letting go of everything, and of feeling each other in a full meld again after weeks of being denied it. Though their contact had not been sexual in nature, Liara felt sated and exhausted all the same. She could sense the same from Shepard, though she did feel a twinge of regret emanating from her lover. A small grin curled the edges of Liara's blue lips.
She pulled back to gaze lovingly into violet eyes. "You, my sweet Commander, are hopeless," she teased with a light kiss.
Shepard laughed weakly. "The love of my life is naked and straddling me in a hot tub. Breakdown notwithstanding, it's impossible for me not to take notice. And want."
Liara pressed a slow, languid kiss on Shepard's lips that lingered for some time. When she pulled back, her heart skipped a beat at the look Shepard was giving her. It was a look of complete, unadulterated love. It took her breath away. She never imagined she could feel this way, feel so completely loved and cherished.
"Thank you, Liara," Shepard whispered, softly kissing her cheek. "I needed that. I needed you."
Liara cupped her lover's face in her hands and rested her forehead against Shepard's. "Thank you for letting me be here."
Concern rippled through her violet eyes. "It wasn't . . . too much, was it? Are you okay?"
Liara sent a pulse of reassurance through the lingering meld. "I am because I'm here with you, like this."
Shepard's arms tightened around her and she brought their lips together again. It didn't take long before Liara noticed Shepard's pulse was quickening. Liara smiled into their kiss.
"Commander," she mock-scolded. "You have two weeks to go."
She was about to rise out of the water, but strong arms stopped her. "No," Shepard whispered. "Please don't go."
Sapphire eyes met violet. Liara mentally kicked herself. Why was she doing that to Shepard again? Every time she knew Shepard wanted intimacy, she had a habit of trying to run off. Previously it had been from some subconscious attempt to protect herself from feeling the pain of losing Shepard again, but what was her excuse now? Shepard had just given every part of herself to Liara, had just survived an unbeatable foe, and had lived for Liara. She needed to show her beloved Commander that she was ready to stop running, that she was ready to trust her completely.
"Okay," she said softly, kissing Shepard's forehead again. "Okay."
Rising from Shepard's lap, she stepped out of the hot tub then turned back to Shepard who was giving her a look filled with anticipation and hope. Liara used a biotic lift to raise Shepard out of the water then grabbed one of the large towels near the tub and pressed herself up against the human and began drying them off. Shepard's head fell forward on Liara's shoulder, obviously enjoying the contact. When Liara began drying between Shepard's thighs, she slowed her movements and Shepard's breath hitched. The simple sound sent electricity directly to her core. Goddess, the effect Shepard had on her never ceased to amaze and delight her.
The towel fell to the floor and their lips collided in a kiss filled with passion and an uncontrollable need. Deciding to take precautions due to Shepard's still-healing body, Liara used a biotic lift to levitate them to the bed. Shepard rewarded the action with a surprised gasp and tightened her arms around the asari. When they reached the bed, Liara laid Shepard gently down and took a moment to look over the naked body awaiting her. She could see a flicker of hesitation pass over Shepard's face, but it disappeared when Liara's eyes raked over her naked form in approval. To her surprise she actually saw Shepard's cheeks flush and it added more to Liara's arousal than Shepard could have known.
Seeing the look of absolute need in Shepard's eyes encouraged her to stop teasing her lover, and she crawled onto the bed over the top of her beloved Commander. She hovered over Shepard for a moment, claiming Shepard's lips once again. She broke the kiss only to kiss the scar on Shepard's face in a show of complete acceptance of her lover. Her lips traveled down Shepard's neck and chest and came to rest over her damaged ribs. She felt Shepard tense slightly, but then relaxed as Liara eased her worry with more tender kisses. She then moved down and did the same with Shepard's legs, showing her lover her absolute acceptance of everything Shepard had done and endured.
She crawled back up the human's body and sent a concentrated biotic pulse into her. Shepard inhaled sharply in pleasure as Liara sent pulse after vibrating pulse into her body, activating every nerve ending in the human's body. Learning the technique had taken quite a lot of research into human anatomy, but it appeared to be paying off. Every pulse pulled a groan of pleasure from those beautiful, kiss-darkened lips.
"Nicole," she purred in Shepard's ear, "you look so beautiful like this, in my arms, reacting to my every desire. Look what you do to me."
She took Shepard's hand and ran it down her blue body until it reached her wet centre.
"Goddess, Liara," Shepard breathed as she ran her fingers over the moist, smooth surface. "I've missed you. So much."
Liara shuddered in pleasure from the caress and brought their lips together again in another fervent kiss. She encouraged her partner's movements by rocking her hips into Shepard's hand. Shepard groaned into their kiss in delight. Liara plunged her tongue into the human's mouth and ran her fingers lightly over Shepard's breast. Her lover arched off the bed from the simple touch and Liara smiled into the kiss. She'd forgotten how sensitive Shepard could be when they'd gone long periods of time without intimacy. Something she intended to rectify. If she had her way, they would make love every day for the rest of their lives.
"Liara . . .," Shepard panted, her voice filled with such need it sent electricity up and down Liara's spine. "Please . . . ."
Liara burned a trail with her lips to Shepard's neck and bit down while she darkened the skin beneath her mouth. She slid her hand down Shepard's stomach and pelvis and paused when she reached the inner thigh to gently push the human's legs further apart. She caressed her lover's smooth inner thighs before she slid her hand to Shepard's well-trimmed centre. She took a moment to run her fingers through the short hair—a constant source of fascination, as asari had no hair. The first time they made love, Shepard had laughed at Liara's rather scientific curiosity of it and, in retrospect, she was glad of Shepard's good humor on the matter. Had Shepard shown the same clinical curiosity of asari anatomy, Liara imagined she would have been mortified. Just one more reason I am grateful to you, my beloved Commander. You always know all the right things to say. You always put my worries to rest.
Deciding she'd teased her lover long enough, Liara slid her fingers down into her lover's wet folds. Shepard was so sensitive from arousal that she gasped and her whole body convulsed. Liara purred against her neck in approval of the reaction and continued to darken the skin on Shepard's neck. She loved that she could leave her mark on Shepard. Though asari scales prevented Shepard from doing the same to her (though she'd certainly tried), Liara enjoyed being the only one who could do this to her beloved.
Liara began rocking her hips against Shepard's hand in rhythm with her own ministrations, and carefully opened her mind to her lover. The room began to glow a soft blue as the meld deepened and soft cries of pleasure filled the darkness around them.
The meld intensified as they began to feel each other's pleasure, thoughts, and love. Unable to extend the foreplay any longer without risk of losing her mind, Liara's movements quickened and she slipped two fingers easily inside Shepard's wet entrance. She felt fingertips from Shepard's bandaged arm dig into her back in attempt to ground herself as she drove her hips into Liara's hand.
Wait for me, Shepard, Liara sent over through the meld, with it sending an image of Shepard penetrating her as well. Shepard didn't hesitate to comply and Liara arched into her with a whimper as two fingers penetrated deep within her.
Careful to avoid putting pressure on Shepard's sore ribs, Liara kissed her Commander's lips again and continued rocking over the human, increasing speed as they began climbing toward inevitability. Liara poured every last inch of herself into Shepard through the meld and Shepard did the same. All lines between their pleasure, their emotion, and their love blurred as they fell deeper into the meld.
The pure intimacy of the moment pushed them both over the edge at the same, beautiful instant. They came undone as one, crying out into the night in sheer ecstasy as finality claimed them. Liara felt Shepard come into her hand, her walls contracting around her fingers over and over, and it intensified her own orgasm. She, in turn, came for Shepard and she could sense the human's enjoyment at feeling Liara's fluid pool in her hand.
When she could take no more, she collapsed into Shepard's arms, panting, exhausted, and utterly sated. She couldn't remember a time when she had felt happier or more loved. They lay for some time, their bodies entangled, and neither quite willing to leave the other. With what little energy she had left, Liara used a light biotic lift to cover them with the blankets on the bed.
After a time, Shepard slowly removed her fingers from within Liara. Liara let out a small groan of regret at having Shepard leave her, but she soon found out why. Shepard brought her fingers to her lips and licked Liara's fluid from them. It was the most erotic thing she'd ever seen Shepard do and it made her arousal return in an instant.
"You wouldn't be trying for 'round two,' would you, Commander?" Liara said with a seductive smile.
Shepard finished licking her fingers, piercing Liara with those beautiful violet eyes all the while before saying, "I love how you taste. I love knowing I did this to you. Let me show you what I did to you." She pulled Liara in for another kiss, only this time she could taste herself on Shepard's lips and tongue. It sent a shiver down her spine.
She had to forcibly remind herself that it would probably be a bad idea to go again due to Shepard's injuries, so she settled next to her lover instead, and nuzzled into her neck.
"You once told me you wanted this 'every day after' the war," she crooned in Shepard's ear. "I intend to hold you to that."
A crooked grin reached the corners of Shepard's lips. She nuzzled her nose against Liara's, beckoning her in for another kiss. Liara took the opportunity to tease her lover by pulling back just before their lips met. Shepard let out a soft growl and put her hand on the back of Liara's neck, pulling her in. When their lips met, Shepard rewarded Liara's teasing by biting her lower lip. Liara pulled back with a surprised squeak and swatted her chest.
Shepard gave her a cheeky smile. "Serves you right, you tease."
Liara settled sleepily next to Shepard and kissed her cheek. "I'm not sorry."
Shepard replied with a snicker then fell silent for a time as sleep began to beckon. Their breathing settled into rhythm and Liara was lulled into a pleasant doze by the feel of Shepard's steady, strong heartbeat. She cherished every pulse, knowing just how many times she'd almost lost it, and how many times it had stopped. Just before she drifted off, she heard her lover whisper, "I love you, Liara T'Soni. And soon, I'm going to show the galaxy just how much."
Even in her nearly-unconscious state, Liara smiled. Her heart had never felt so complete, so whole, as it did in that moment.