A/N: Hello, everyone! :D thank you so much to all my faithful readers who have stuck around to read my story! You guys are the best and your reviews are so inspiring! I am so glad that this story can bring happiness to you all : )

Hey, not-so-confused guest, worry not for I was not in the least bothered by your confusion, I know I've been in your shoes before, that's why I wanted to help you understand better and whenever you feel the slightest bit confused again feel free to question away and that goes for all of you awesome people too. Enjoy!

Chapter 14

"So sweetheart… how about that kiss?" Haymitch winks at me as I walk into the kitchen where he is propped on a chair by the table with an almost empty whiskey bottle.

"What about it?" I snap. I wasn't expecting him to bring this up even though I am glad I didn't have to do it myself. I walk over to the cabinets and start opening them. We have our own little kitchen just for us in our floor which was just added this year for Peeta since now he is a mentor and he loves to bake. I open and shut them but all I find are different sizes of bowls and pots and pans. You'd think they'd have some food here.

"To your right" Haymitch motions with a drunken slap of his hand. I notice a closet in the direction he points so I go there and happily find many types of bread neatly wrapped in plastic. I smile when I see the bag with cheese buns and I grab the whole thing and sit across from Haymitch.

Haymitch raises his eyebrows at me and I know he is still expecting an answer to his earlier question. I refuse to acknowledge I understand him so I spit out "What?"

"The blushing? The stupid smile on your face?" he asks and takes another sip right out of the bottle. "We all know you're not that good of an actress" he makes a pause in which I stuff my mouth with a huge piece of cheese bun to delay having to answer. "Or has all the practice of these months finally paid off?" he asks sarcastically with a quizzical brow. I continue chewing the excess bread in my mouth successfully avoiding an answer because I don't have one. "Or has the romance started to become real to you?" he asks with a nasty smile and I realize just how drunk he is. Just in time I swallow.

"Shut up, Haymitch. You're drunk" I reply.

He erupts in laughter just to prove my point. I don't know why I even came to this drunken fool in the first place.

I stand up to leave and shove the cheese buns in the closet. As I walk by Haymitch he grabs my hand and holds me in place.

"Let me go!" I roar as I try to jerk my hand away.

His eyelids drop slightly as he tries to point his finger at me.

"You love this boy" he says drowsily. "And when I say love, I mean real love". I narrow my eyes at him and jerk my hand away successfully.

"What do you know?" I spit at him.

"I may not know a whole lot about love, sweetheart, but I know two things. You are a horrible actress and you would never pull that look off in a million years. And second, you can't live without that boy and you know it and I know it because I've been seeing it and tonight proved it, you're just too much of a coward to admit it" he laughs in self satisfaction and his words hang in the air. I don't know why but I feel as if he had just punched me in the gut. My jaw tightens and I walk away because he is drunk and he doesn't know what he is talking about.

Even though I know this to be true I can't shake the storm that is in my stomach as I walk away. But I don't have a minute to even attempt to figure it out because the moment I walk in the big hall what I see sends chills through my body. The hairs in the back of my hair stand up as I take in the sight in front of my eyes and the cheese buns threaten to come up. The fear that seizes my every muscle sends opposing messages to my brain. It's telling me to run but I can't move and I know I shouldn't because there is no point in running away from President Snow.

A shaky breath escapes my lips as I struggle to relax my body and not smell the sickening smell of roses mixed in with blood. I don't want him to see he scares me. And I also doubt it would help Peeta who is sitting across from him, fiddling with his hands though his face is successfully emotionless.

"Dear Katniss" he says as he slightly drags out the 's' and it reminds me of a snake. "You are a tough one to get a hold of. Peeta and I have been waiting and no one seemed to know where you or your retired mentor where" he says with a smile.

"We were just in the kitchen" I say pointing behind me.

"Ah, yes, I had them build it by my personal request for you and Peeta. You can't deny that I do strive to make you two as comfortable as possible" he reminds us of his unwanted generosity and his power over us. "And I hope I have succeeded" he says with marked fake kindness.

"Of course, President Snow, and we are forever grateful for it all" Peeta thanks him very politically and I manage a nod.

"Please, do sit, Katniss, let's chat" he says as with his hands he directs me to sit with Peeta. I do as told and take my place by Peeta. He takes my hand.

"So now that you two are so happily married, I can't imagine it will be too long before we get a happy surprise, I hope" he says and smiles.

I am frozen in place because my every fear is about to become a reality and I couldn't open my lips even if I knew what to say. Peeta takes a moment to answer as if to weigh what he will say but he surrenders.

"Of course, we have many surprises in store" he says vaguely but we both know this won't do. It might have given us some time at the wedding because we were in front of so many people but I know President Snow won't let this happen again and he will make us pay for it dearly. I can't believe I spent all this time worrying about such insignificant things when we had much more worse in the horizon.

President Snow holds his smile in place awaiting what he wants to hear but even I know Peeta can't talk us out of this one.

Before I even think the words in my head they are out of my mouth and Peeta squeezes my hand as I promise President Snow we are trying to have a baby. And as soon as they are out there I bite my lower lip with such strength it isn't long before I taste the sour taste in my mouth. Peeta and President Snow keep speaking afterwards but I don't know what they are saying. My head is swirling with a million things and finally President Snow and Peeta shake hands and I manage another nod and as soon as he is out the door I am sprinting for the bathroom.

Peeta is right behind me and holds my hair back as I am sure every piece of food I have eaten today reappears with a splash in the toilet bowl which only makes my stomach constrict even tighter until only clear liquids come out of me but still my abdomen twists in pain as it tries to extract itself out as there can possibly be nothing left.

And as the muscles start to relax agitated sobs begin to furiously shake my body and I am wailing and staining Peeta's shirt with the vomit in my face as he holds me against his chest. His hands are trying to control my body but I am nothing but uncontrollable spasms as my nails dig in his chest and his back and pull at his shirt and skin. Peeta calls out my name in agony, telling me to calm down, that everything is going to be okay, that he promises it but his pleas are drowned by the excruciating whines ripping out of my throat and into the darkness surrounding us, cloaking us from the barbarity we can't escape.

Peeta lets me go and I am clinging to him in desperate implorations until I realize he isn't leaving me but is only turning on the lights. I wrap my arms around my knees and hit my head against the wall as I faintly hear Peeta's supplicating me to believe there is hope but I know there is not. And I always knew this day would come as sure as the day when my child gets reaped and killed.

Peeta comes back to me with a towel with which he wipes my face and I attempt to clean his shirt with the other end unsuccessfully but thankfully he doesn't seem to care and at this moment I know there can't be anyone one better than Peeta in this world. He feeds me water as it drips down my cheeks and neck because I can't conquer my quivering enough to contain all the water in my mouth and he sweetly wipes it away as if I was a little child and I cling to him like such. I cling to him for dear life because his unrealistic assurances are the only ones keeping me together.

He holds me as I cry and scream and muffle my howls into his chest as my tears roll down my face and into his shirt. It is a mixture of every disgusting body fluid that can come out my face and I know only Peeta could sit here and be bathed in them while holding me down and running his fingers through my hair as he makes sweet shushing sounds into my ear.

I don't know how long it takes for me to scream out my lungs and cry out all my tears but I know eventually I am so exhausted I can't do it anymore so I just let Peeta hold me and I can finally start hearing what he is telling me.

And he is being so nurturing that I can't stand to see the sticky cloth cling to his body so I carefully take off his shirt and wipe down his bare chest with the towel to soak up all of my DNA in its various forms from his skin in embarrassment.

He takes my hand and brings back down to my lap. I stare at it as the final shaky breaths come in and out.

"Katniss" he says softly as he lifts my chin up to look at him. I finally look at him and realize while he is holding me together he is just in as much pain as me if not more. His hands cup my face and I take in just how devastated he is as well. His eyes hold the saddest expression as he takes one long look at my face and I know how bad I must look. He licks his lips and tightens his jaw.

"Katniss, I promise I will let no harm come to any child of ours" he says as his own lips quiver. I shake my head because as much as I want to believe him I know that we can't prevent it. "No, Katniss, don't say no" he says as his voice breaks a little but his resolve is intact in his eyes and I have never seen Peeta so sure of anything. "Katniss, I don't care to what lengths I have to go to, I will let no harm come to this child or any others of ours, I promise. I promise on my…" he tries to assure me but I interrupt him.

"Don't promise me that, Peeta, you know you can't stop it no matter how much you want to. They never lose, Peeta. They never lose!" I cry out. He brings me in a hug and I start crying again but I realize he hugged me to whisper in my ear without letting any bugs catch it. He immerses his face in my hair as he starts whispering so low even I can barely hear him.

"I'll train and pay someone to volunteer for him or her, we'll run into the woods like you had suggested, we'll bring down this cursed government if that is what it takes but I swear to you today, Katniss Mellark, that I will let no harm come to this child. And I promise it and I will make it come true. We both will. We have bent them to their knees before, Katniss, when we both survived the Games, we proved they can't own us, not all the way. And we have proved that there are no lengths we won't go to to save our loved ones. And that won't change. If anything, our determination is stronger because we are no longer doing it for us or our families, but we are doing it for our baby. We will play their games with them but when they least expect it, when they are more sure than ever that they got us controlled we will show them, Katniss. We will show them that they may take our freedom of choice and control our lives with threats but they won't touch him or her, that you can be sure of" he finishes and breaks our embrace as he stands up and helps me up.

I don't understand how exactly Peeta plans to pull this off or how he is going to make it happen but if one person I trust and know I can depend on, that's Peeta. And as crazy as everything he said sounds, I believe him. And I know he will, some way or another, keep his promises.

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