Bella popped her head through the door just as I entered. "You're done talking with Esme?" she asked. I nodded. She gave everyone else the okay and a troupe of vampires paraded in.

I gazed at each person for a few moments, finally settling my eyes on Jasper. He seemed calm and cool, just like usual.

I took a shaky breath. "I've decided I want to be changed," I said. "But I have a few conditions."

Carlisle nodded. "Go on."

Another breath. "Firstly, I want you to prevent me from hurting any human. I will survive on your 'vegetarian' diet. No exceptions," I said firmly.

"Actually," said Carlisle, "I don't think we'll have to prevent you from doing so."

I blinked. "What?"

"Well," he said, "Ever since Bella's transformation, I have been curious as to what allows her to restrain from human blood almost as well as myself. As you know, as vampires, we take our strongest traits with us from our human lives- Jasper's unusual sense of empathy, for example. Bella had always been a mental barrier to Edward and members of the Volturi, so it is not surprising she is a shield as a vampire. However, in her human life, she never had any reason to restrict herself from blood of any sort. It didn't immediately come to me how she acquired her power. Then, I realized the only way it would make sense as to why she had this restraint was if it was based on mental preparation for a new life. None of us, besides her, had any sort of idea what was going to happen to us, and none of us have her extraordinary sense of avoiding human blood. However, Bella guessed that she would eventually shed her humanity when she first realized what Edward was. She was expecting this for nearly a year. Since you also know of your fate beforehand, I'm guessing it may work the same way for you. However, it may not be on the same level, because you have nowhere near the same amount of preparation as she has had. Despite that, I still feel you'll have more restraint than the average newborn."

I blinked. "Oh. Okay, then. Guess that won't be a problem."

"Any other conditions?" asked Bella.

"Yeah, one more," I said, and paused. "I want to be changed now."

"Right now? As in today?" asked Edward.

I nodded. "Before I change my mind."

"No," growled Jasper lowly. "You haven't even thought this through!"

I gave him a look. "That's kind of the point."

"You're rushing into it," he insisted. "Think this through, Alice, please. I don't want you to regret it later." His golden eyes bore into mine as waves of persuasion hit me.

I tried to clear my mind of the haze surrounding it. "No," I said firmly. "I want to help. Now."

Edward shrugged. "We can't argue with her if that's what she wants, Jasper."

Jasper hissed and stalked off. "I'm going to the mainland to hunt. Call me when it's over." Stopping only to glance back at me, he ran out the front door.

I felt like crying as he left. Jasper still wouldn't accept that this was what I wanted. Esme patted my shoulder in comfort.

"Where would you like to do this?" asked Carlisle.

"Anywhere, I guess," I muttered.

"How about in the library?" he said, walking towards it. "We want to keep you as far away as possible from Nessie and Jacob, of course."

I nodded and followed him, the other family members coming along. It was comforting, to know that they were all there to help and support me.

I was a bit scared as I followed the doctor's figure. I knew that it always hurt to be changed, but I told myself it couldn't be that bad. Why else would Bella want to be changed?

I sat cross-legged on the middle of the floor awkwardly. Obviously, I've never experienced a human get bitten. This was all new to me.

After exchanging a glance with Edward, Carlisle kneeled next to me. "Are you sure you'd like to do this?" he asked quietly. "Last chance."

"I'm sure," I whispered, starting to doubt myself as I said it.

His pale hand picked up mine. I looked away as he raised it to his teeth. I was suddenly reminded of how I'd have to go to the doctor's office to get my shots when I was little, and I'd similarly turn away as the needle would pierce my skin.

I didn't feel anything. I looked around the room of concerned vampires, then down at my hand. "That wasn't too-"

I was cut off by a scream as pain ripped through me. With a shock, I realized it was my own. It felt like my hand was on fire, but looking at it, I could see it was not.

I heard Esme's dry sobs and Bella's concerned whispers as I continued screaming. I quickly shut up. No one else had to relive their transformation through me.

I tried to force myself to stay still, but my body writhed silently in pain. I'm sure it would look comical from someone else's perspective, but no one laughed.

The pain washed over me. I recalled when I'd burnt myself once a few years ago when I'd grabbed a hot pan on accident, the way the heat had shocked me. This was easily a million times worse.

I wondered how long it had been. The fire took over my eyes, and I squeezed them shut.

I could hear quiet murmurs, and people walking in and out. I focused on my future family's beautiful voices, their light footsteps, and wondered if I'd sound the same in a while.

I wished Jasper had stayed. The pain would be more bearable, if only he was here to soothe the fire.

Sometimes, cold hands touched me, trying to get me to hold still. They seemed especially cold compared to the fire, but provided no relief.

I thought of my father. I wondered if he'd found out I left the mental hospital, and how he'd reacted. Maybe he'd snap out of the deep depression he'd sunk into after my mother and Cynthia died. Maybe he'd drown in it.

I sighed mentally and settled into the seemingly-infinite pain, determined to wait it out.