A/N: Amy's POV. Also, to the guest reviewer who keeps commenting that Amy and Sirius should have a boy, please don't take this disrespectfully. I'm glad you're reading and I'm glad you feel strongly enough to review. But this story is already planned out. I already know every child any character is going to have, and the genders and names thereof. I'm not saying a boy won't happen, but your constant commentary about how they should of have/should have a boy won't change the plans I've already laid out. So thank you, but you'll have to calmly wait and see with the other readers. :D

-C

I told Sirius I wouldn't go out without him, but I hadn't been out of the house in ages, and I needed beetle eyes for the burn paste I was working on, and his meeting would take a while. The girls were with Andromeda and Ted for the day, so there was no reason not to get a bag of beetle eyes. Besides, it felt good to stretch my legs, walking through the familiar space of Diagon Alley.

It wasn't completely familiar, though. I recalled coming for school, the vibrant atmosphere it always carried that made me feel happier just standing in it. Now, though, everything was different, everything was just a little bit wrong. People no longer looked each other in the eye while passing, and shopkeepers seemed cold and a bit depressed. I knew the war was taking its toll on everyone, but knowing that and seeing it were very different things.

I stepped into the apothecary, smiling weakly at the man behind the counter, whose beady eyes watched each person in the shop like they were about to try to swindle him. Such behavior did not faze me. I liked to think I had a disarming, trustworthy face.

Before I had a chance to even open the bag I intended to use to measure out my beetle eyes in, there was the sound of an explosion out in the alleyway, and several bloodcurdling screams.

My breath left me and before I knew what was happening my wand was out. I hadn't felt that heart-pounding sensation, that exhilarating fear, in a very long time, the kind that only came from knowing something dangerous was about to happen. I should have stayed inside the apothecary, perhaps, but I couldn't get home without going outside, and I couldn't sit in the apothecary, maybe safe, maybe not, knowing people outside could be suffering or in danger.

So I ran out into the street, and the sight and sounds and smells that greeted me made me feel overwhelmed with a wave of fear so strong I wanted to vomit. Smoke, screams, the obvious signs of people dueling. Many of them wore masks, but there were a few people, a few Death Eaters, who either didn't care if people saw their faces or who had lost their masks somewhere along the way. I did not recognize any of the ones near me, but that hardly mattered. They were going to try to kill me whether I knew them or not.

I swallowed a mouthful of smoky air as I hurried into the fray, pushing a small child forward into her mother's arms as I rushed out, watching for someone to notice me. Her mother thanked me and hurried around a corner to where she could Disapparate herself and her child to safety. I turned back to the battle blazing around. Any moment the Aurors or the Order or both would arrive, and I would simply hold out until then.

Dueling, as I found, is the kind of skill that needs to be practiced and maintained, and what with raising three children and being married to a man who felt terrible if he accidently hurt me during sex, I didn't get much practice anymore. My dodging was still good, and my deflecting, but I wasn't able to get off many shots. I did manage to Stun one, though, toward the back of the street, and I was turning to deal with a Death Eater pair terrorizing a couple of men who were clearly getting too old for this sort of excitement – although not quite elderly.

I was able to draw one of the pair away, pulling the fight more toward the center of the alley, struggling to keep from being injured. A rather nasty curse narrowly missed me, searing a bit of the stone behind me on the street. I didn't want to know what it would have done to me if that was what it did to stone, twisting and blackening it. Suddenly I wondered if I wouldn't have been better off waiting on the burn paste until after Sirius got home, but there was no time for those thoughts. I shook them away in enough time to block the man's next shot, then shot a couple of Stunning Spells in quick succession. They were sloppy, the sort of thing I would have cringed at in school, but they got the job done. The second spell hit perfectly, and I turned to the other in the pair, catching him off guard and throwing several Disarming spells at him.

Again, they were sloppy. None of them hit, but he was startled, turning away from the men, who went away up the street to the pub, where they would likely take the Floo home. I was tired, but this second man was easier to manage than his partner, slower to send off spells, sleepier reflexes. I only had to hold on a little longer, I told myself, because help would be there soon. After several close calls, I finally managed to hit him with a Stunner, putting so much into it that he was thrown back into the brick wall of the cauldron shop across the alley.

I took several heavy breaths, trying to find my bearings again. I was out of shape, well out of practice, and the adrenaline was keeping me from feeling the sizable cut I had gotten across my left thigh.

As much as I wanted a break, though, there was no time for one. A voice called my name – my maiden name, no less – and I turned to face the voice, feeling my insides freeze when I caught her eye.

Bellatrix Lestrange was wearing no mask. Perhaps she lost it during the battle, but I knew she had no fear. My own fear was turning my stomach in knots as she approached, cackling. I went to the ready, not sure how I was going to try to duel her, but I knew I had to try. If I didn't, I would be dead.

"How is my dear cousin?" she cooed teasingly, and I felt an overwhelming rush of anger at her daring to mention Sirius. I didn't realize I'd even cast a spell until she deflected it. I had only a moment to wonder what I had sent before she tossed a curse or two my way.

I dodged and deflected as best I could, but I was exhausted, and she knew it. She was toying with me, making me tire myself out, coming closer and closer with every set of spells. I felt cornered, trying to get away, but there wasn't much space between me and the pub, the end of the alleyway. Breathing in the smoke was difficult enough, and an explosion up the street made me lose my sense of where I was for a moment, and I saw Bellatrix was dangerously close.

Her features were eerily similar to those of my husband, her eyes with a deranged version of his mischievous sparkle. Even the way her lips curled was an exaggerated version of the way he used to smirk in school.

"Crucio," she said, her voice eerily calm.

My whole body was on fire with excruciating, agonizing pain, and I felt my muscles writhe as I fell to the ground, struggling to contend with the onslaught. I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming or biting my tongue. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

She laughed as she came closer, kneeling down beside me as she lifted the curse, watching me pant for breath. She brushed hair out of my eyes with her thin, long fingers, an almost maternal gesture.

"The pair of blood traitors," she said, disgust in her voice. "You've lost your touch, McAuley. You used to be a force." I cringed away as she touched my cheek, grinning. "Motherhood has made you…weak."

She spat the last word at me, and I could feel her saliva on my face. I was furious, insulted, filled with pulsing hatred. But every part of me burned and throbbed and I wasn't sure what I would even do if I dared move.

"It's a shame you're a pureblood," she muttered. "I could kill you if you were less."

I gripped my wand more tightly in my sweaty hand, but before I could think of a spell, she hit me with the Cruciatus again. This time she caught me off guard and I shrieked out in pain, my whole body writhing violently on the stone street of Diagon Alley. Every nerve in my body burned in pain and I wanted it to stop, to end, everything to end. I could think of nothing but my pain and how much I hated Bellatrix as she laughed at my suffering, her cackle ringing in my ears along with the pounding of my own heart.

She let up and I tried to fire off a spell, but before the words left my lips she hit me with another quick shot of the Cruciatus. I didn't even have time to cry out in pain before she lifted it again.

"Let me see," Bellatrix said, smirking. "I could simply use a Imperius Curse and take you…more or less willingly, or I can knock you unconscious and take you that way, but where's the fun in that? Or I could take you physically struggling, but I don't much care to be splinched. Of course, I could always take you dead and say you couldn't be taken alive. You have a reputation still, one you clearly no longer deserve. I doubt anyone would question."

I held my breath as she made her choice, praying she chose anything but death, anything I could find a way out of.

I felt a strange feeling of calm rush through me, a calm that a niggling feeling in the back of my mind told me wasn't right. A voice in my head was urging me to stand, and it seemed such a simple request, but that niggling feeling made me hesitate. Why was I standing?

But then, why was I on the ground in the first place? I did endeavor to stand, but my body felt weak, which brought that niggling feeling back again that perhaps standing was a bad choice. I took deep breaths, fighting with the two sides in my head, trying to decide what to listen to, what to do, stand or stay down. I was already physically exhausted and this struggle was absurdly complex for such a simple decision.

Someone above me made a sound of frustration and I looked up to see Bellatrix and suddenly I remembered that she wanted something from me, wanted me to go somewhere. I didn't want to go anywhere Bellatrix wanted me to go, so the only option was to stay on the ground so I would be harder to take. It took a considerable amount of mental power, but I fought the urge to get up and I grasped my wand more tightly, turning it on her.

"Always had to be difficult," she snarled. "I suppose no one will have to know you weren't as impressive as you used to be."

My breath failed me as she turned her wand on me once more and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was about to die, more than I had ever known anything before.

Then I heard my name called again, this time in the most pained sort of scream I'd ever heard, and there was an explosion down the street. I opened my eyes to see several members of the Order arriving, including Sirius running up the street toward me, literally blasting Death Eaters out of his way who were between us.

Bellatrix seemed amused, putting up a shield between us as he shot a curse at her. Judging from how it deflected off her Shield Charm, it wasn't a Stunning Spell, but something much more…permanent. I sat up slightly, horrified, feeling a bit guilty that I had decided to come out in spite of what I'd promised Sirius. I'd never seen him more afraid. Tears spilled onto my cheeks before I even realized they were forming, and the cut on my thigh began to sting. I watched them engage in a duel, and I held my breath.

Sirius must have let me win all those years, in spite of the fact that I was a good duelist. I could beat James and Remus, and often Lily, but watching him with his cousin, I never should have beaten Sirius. Seeing them was almost impossible, and telling what spells they were firing off was even harder to do. Everything was a blur, but perhaps that was the blood loss. I glanced down to see a sizable amount of my own blood on the pavement stones from the wound on my thigh, which was beginning to throb.

By the time I looked up again, Bellatrix was hissing, pulling back with a burn across her face and a gash very near to her heart. Sirius rushed forward, bleeding, and he grabbed my arms.

"I'm sorry I have to do this," he said, grimacing as he pulled me to my feet and turned on his heel just as Bellatrix was pointing her wand at us.

We arrived on our front doorstep, panting and bloody, and he quickly unlocked the door and scooped me up as I began to collapse. He carried me in to the sofa and gently laid me down, kneeling beside me.

"I'm going to call Lily," he said, his voice stuffy and his cheeks covered in tears. "I'm going to find somebody to Heal you. You're not splinched?"

I shook my head and he kissed my forehead before hurrying to the fireplace to call Lily. I tried not to close my eyes, knowing that the danger of falling asleep could aggravate certain kinds of injuries. Not that I expected to fall asleep with my leg throbbing the way it was.

Sirius came back in a few minutes with shaking hands and a basket full of our entire medicine cabinet.

"She couldn't come," he said hoarsely. "She's needed at headquarters. But she gave me instructions. Other than the leg, what do you have?"

"Cruciatus," I said, surprised at how dry my throat felt. "She used the Cruciatus Curse."

Never before had Sirius gone so pale to my memory. He took a step back and nearly dropped the basket. He seemed to be struggling with something, and I tried to sit up to show him I was going to be fine, but he knelt beside me again, pushing me back down.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, lifting a shaking hand to his arm. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

"What for?" he asked, confused as he began to clean the wound.

"I said I wouldn't leave and then I did," I muttered, wincing as the sting of the cleansing potion hit my leg. "It's my fault."

"None of this is your fault," he said, his voice strained as he daubed a past on the wound gently. I grimaced and he made a soothing sound, pressing me back down with his good hand. "It's okay, love, just try to relax and please don't kick me. No, none of this is your fault. Just…just try not to do it again, please, because I…."

I nodded, watching as he did a series of spells to knit the wound together. It would scar. He could do the healing charms, but he never truly mastered them. Amy hardly minded, just glad that she was no longer bleeding as he checked for other injuries.

"I'm going to take you to bed," he said gently, wiping a bit of sweaty hair off my cheek. "I've got to go by headquarters, pick up the potions for the Cruciatus. You need rest."

He scooped me up, carrying me to bed, gently laying me on it and tucking me in.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, love."

"The girls," I muttered.

"I'll pick them up. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead, muttered how much he loved me, and hurried out. I tried to grip at my sheets to pull them off me, but my hands were still trembling, still too weak. I felt pathetic. Bellatrix was right about one thing, I was no longer capable at dueling. I couldn't defend myself, and if someone came for us I would be useless in defending the girls. What sort of a mother was I if I couldn't defend my own children?

And then Bellatrix's attempt to kidnap me came to mind again.

She wanted to kill me, but that wasn't what Voldemort wanted. He…he wanted me alive. If not for my skills – which were admittedly rusty with so little use – then the only thing he could want was my blood. And my blood was only good as it allowed for pureblooded children to be born, like my daughters.

I felt sick to my stomach as I realized that they wanted me, whether with or without Sirius, as a breeding machine.

If it came to that, I thought, closing my eyes as tears rolled down the sides of my face, if it came to being captured or being killed by Bellatrix, I wanted Bellatrix to get to me first.