Thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews! :D every one of them brought a huge smile to my face! ^-^ I have noticed that there is an issue that has been pointed out to me many times and I thought I should address it here rather than reviewer by reviewer since it will be easier for all to see: chapter length. And I want you to know your voice has not gone unheard, my people! The reason I don't write longer chapters is because it takes me- minimum- one hour to write, edit, check spelling, and check OOC for every 1000 words, if not more. That's pretty slow haha I know. But I would rather give you a quality chapter than upload some very long chapters full of errors, do you know what I mean? And as much as I would like it to spend 5 or 6 hours on each chapter, I just don't have the time. I barely survive taking out the time that I already do. Trust me, if you knew my life you would understand :( . So I apologize for the not-as-long-as-desired chapters, you guys :( but it's the best I can do. I hope you still enjoy!

Chapter 19

Darkness falls around me like a heavy cloak as the howls I had hoped were not directed at me approach closer and closer. I can already hear their steps. There are about three. I could take them out if I had a bow easily. But not tonight. Tonight I will be eaten alive by these beasts.

Ironic, isn't it? I fought so hard in the Hunger Games. I defeated trained killers, and even mutts, and came out alive, not only me, but for the first time in Hunger Games history, with my District partner. Yet I am going to die tonight, feet away from the District fence probably, no one watching, no one will ever know how and why I never came out of the woods today. I couldn't save myself from my own folly. And I brought Peeta's child with me.

I try to imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with Haymitch and Peeta. I imagine, years from now, the rebellion has worked. I imagine that world with no Games, no Capitol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta's child could be safe.

And tonight, my biggest fear is not for me, but for a little person, never to be born, never to experience love, never to know anything but darkness, never to meet his father- the best father he could have had. Peeta would have been so kind, so patient with him. He would have taught him to paint, to bake, to be gentleman to ladies, like he always is, to never be rude or selfish, to never be like me.

Haymich was right. I could have live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, ever.

I was given a chance to accept the love from the best person I know, the only person who can understand who I am because of what we have lived through together, who loves me for some unknown reason I cannot fathom. I was given a chance to have a better life for me and for Peeta and for our families and my arrogance has been the death of those and any possibilities.

As I feel my last seconds approach, I let these fears I had before loose. What does it matter anymore? I'll be dead soon anyway.

I let my mind wonder what I never let it wonder before.

I see that meadow... and Peeta's child is running, laughing, and I see that same sparkle in his eyes as I have seen in his father, that beautiful, hopeful spark, that promises things will be okay. He picks a beautiful yellow dandelion and runs back to me, to give it to me and I smile stupidly at how much I love this little person, barely coming up out of the tall grass. And then out of nowhere, Peeta comes out running to him and picks him up in the air and turns with him as they both laugh uncontrollably and I feel my eyes swell up. Peeta tickles him, only getting more laughter out of his beautiful face. They finally come to me, and Peeta is looking at me with those eyes, and the look of adoration I see in them make my stomach get a funny feeling because there is nothing I want more right now than to see that look, just once more. He notices the yellow dandelion lying on my lap and sits next to me asks:

"Do I have competition Mrs. Mellark? Is there some other guy trying to steal your heart?" he asks me sweetly.

"I'm afraid yes" I answer. "And he is more handsome, too. In fact, he has already stolen my heart" I smile.

"Where is this thief, so I may tell him to stay away from my wife?" he asks in mock anger.

"In your lap" I laugh and kiss him. I wish I could freeze this imaginary moment, right here, right now and live in it forever.

But this will never happen now. And it's all my fault. But I want it to... so bad.

The leaves rustle behind me and I can clearly hear the sounds coming from the hungry wolves. My lungs can't keep up with the demand for oxygen anymore as they struggle shallowly to feed my body the energy to keep up with the speed to stay safe but I know it is fruitless. And yet I can't accept death. I force my legs to withstand the pain and go on for as long as they can, for as much as I know I can't outrun wolves, I still hope for a miracle.

And a miracle comes.

For I hear the whimper of one wolf getting hurt and collapsing to the floor in pain. I don't look back to see what it was . I have to keep running. Then I hear another one cry out in pain and fall and the other right behind him.

A sparkle of hope lights up in my heart but I am not about to stop and try to find out. I run.

I hear the painful howls of the wolves getting farther and farther away and it almost sounds like they are calling my name. This sends a chill through my body as I also realize there are still feet running behind me.

Oh no! There were more wolves than I had thought?

But as the howls become more and more faint I realize they are not calling out my name.

Humans are.

I stop and turn around incredulous as I see two male forms approaching me and even though I can't tell their faces in the darkness, their voices are unmistakable.

Gale and Rory! Relief floods through my body and my exhausted body finally crashes on the ground and every muscle wails in pain.

I can't even keep my head up to recognize their faces as it bobbles down, my body completely out of any strength or will to move on.

I barely remember as they picked me up and helped me walk back out of the forest and through the alleys all the way to their home where they laid me in my Posy's little bed, possibly the cleanest.

I laid there, I don't know for how long, unable to move, afraid to pull a strained muscle, which right now, included every one of them in my body.

I hear them ask me questions, and I answer them but don't remember what I said or what they asked.

Hazelle brings me a soup of some sort and I drink it in grief, wondering whose dinner I have cost tonight, but I drink it anyways because my body demands it without choice.

As my heart finally returns to its regular heartbeat, my mind starts running through the last hours events. I remember how close to death I was, how grateful I am that Gale and Rory saved me. I wonder how they happened to be in the forest so late.

I sit up, and look to my side and see Gale sitting there, elbows supported by his knees, leaning forward, chin resting on knuckles, and they look white and closed with force, his forehead formed in little horizontal lines, and his eyes seem far away. I have seen that look before. He is so angry that he won't move an inch so he doesn't break something.

I hesitate before calling his name softly as to not startle him. His eyes come back to the room and look at me but his expression is unchanged. He looks at me to let me know he has my attention but says nothing.

"How did you find me?" I ask. "What were you guys doing out there in the dark and in that part of the forest?"

"Teaching Rory to find food. Working in the mines I can't do it, so I take him to the woods at the end of the day and I have been teaching him how to set traps and to know the woods, and I even tried teaching him what I remember from our bow lessons and he's caught on pretty good, I think he may actually have hope, since I couldn't. So the only time I have to take him out is after I get back from the mines and today I happened to take him to those parts in case he has no better luck in the others one day. And thank God I did, Katniss. What exactly were you doing in those parts of the woods after nightfall without a weapon? How did you even get over here and why were you alone?" he asks trying to contain his anger.

I explain to him everything- all the events leading to tonight- and he slowly relaxes the muscles in his face and body as the anger is replaced by understanding.

"Good for him" he says but I don't understand.

"Good for who?" I ask.

"Good for that wimp who thinks himself man enough to be your husband. Because if he had left you alone I would have gone and broke his good leg" he says and the disgust in his words leave me in no doubt that he is still angry about the marriage.

"Well, it wasn't his fault..." I begin to defend Peeta. It was me who ran away. But he doesn't let me finish.

"He would have been able to protect you if he had stopped you!"

"He couldn't, Gale! He lost his leg and you know it!"

"And who's fault was that? If he'd been man enough he wouldn't have!"

Gale's words hurt me just a bit. None of this is his fault. He is only looking for an excuse to demean Peeta.

"You're right. It is his fault. If he had let Cato kill me he would have kept his leg. Bad decision on his part" I say full of hostility and almost instantly regret it as I see the pain I have inflicted in Gale.

"I don't hate Peeta for sacrificing himself for you. I hate him because I couldn't" he says to me in the eye and with that he stands up and walks away, leaving me mouth open, still holding the soup bowl on my lap, completely petrified.

My wedding day flashes before me once again. How long ago that seems! I remember how cold and hostile he was, just like today. And it seems Peeta is always the cause. Then I remember Haymitch telling me he thought he was jealous of him. This now confirms it. He said he wished he had been able to make the sacrifices Peeta has made for me.

But what for? It has only brought pain and calamities for Peeta. What good is being in a fake marriage? There is nothing to envy there.

I wished he hadn't left. There are so many things unsaid between us and we have never spent so long upset with each other.

This brings back something else Haymitch said to me after Gale stormed off during my wedding.

"Then he isn't who you thought he really was, sweetheart"

These thoughts swirl in my head all night long and no one comes back to check on me.

As I am falling asleep I hear the door creak open with care, as if to pass by unnoticed, failing miserably and waking me up from the weak slumber I had fallen into.

Gale tries to walk back out but I call out to him in desperation.

He stops and hesitates for a moment before coming inside halfway.

"Don't leave. I don't know why you are being like this to me and I think you have a lot of explaining to do" I say strongly.

He looks me in the eye intensely and takes a seat with reluctance.

"Ever since the wedding you have treated me like this is somehow my fault and I thought you would have gotten over it by now but you obviously haven't so tell me what it is the problem so we can move on" I demand.

"The problem? You want to know what the problem is? How do you think it feels to love someone you aren't supposed to love but know you can't stop anyways? To know that person is so miserable but you can't fix it?" he asks brusquely.

This confirms what I had most feared. I am taken aback by his declaration but it can't soften the anger that arises.

"So because you can't have me you have to treat me like I've done you wrong?! I've done nothing! If anything this is your fault for waiting until now to tell me! What did you think? That you could just sit around forever and no other guy would ever take me from you?" I snap at him.

"If you had been forced into this, Katniss, I could have some consolation. But you and I both know that wasn't the case!" he claims. "You can fool Haymitch, your mother, Prim, and even Peeta, who even though he spends every living second with you is too stupid to see it, but you can't fool me! I, who heard you say time after time that no one in the world could ever fool you into marriage. And along comes some wimp and acts like some wounded, love-sick puppy dog and you fall for him?" he makes a long pause. "That is very unfair" he says with disgust.

"How many times do I have to explain this to you, Gale?!" I ask frustrated. "It is a fake marriage!"

"It may be a fake marriage but that doesn't mean you don't love him" he replies.

I suddenly am out of words.

"Exactly. That's what I thought" he says and gets up to walk away.

"Gale! Of course I care for him! We have gone through so much together! But that doesn't mean..."

He interrupts me with:

"Katniss, just stop. It's pathetic. You can deny it all you want but I know you better than you know yourself. You can't fool me" he states coolly and begins walking away again.

"Stop awaking away from me, Gale! I am not done" I try to stop him.

"No, but I am" he says and I know there is nothing I can do to make him stay anymore. He begins to walk away again and just then we hear the front door open with force. He turns to look at me again and I am on stand-by, suspenseful for his words. But they are not what I expect. He smiles sarcastically.

"Oh, just in time. Your lover-boy is here" he says and stays for a second to catch what reaction his words gather from me.

"Peeta!" I involuntarily cry out in a desperate whimper that wipes away Gale's sarcastic smile and turns his face into disgust once again before he stomps out.

Leave me your thoughts, oh wonderful readers! :)