Regret
I won't lie. Even now when I look at Thalia Grace I feel regretful. It's not like we're on bad terms anymore – we never were, really – but every time I look at her I'm reminded of the organization that led Bianca to her death, tantalizing her with their promises of freedom and responsibility only to force her onto a practically hopeless quest that cost her her life.
Do I sound bitter? I'm not bitter.
Well fine, I am pretty bitter.
Thalia in herself is a great person. She's funny, loyal, never overly cheerful, and she likes all the same music as me. She cares greatly for Jason, but she can also tease him, just like the best sisters should be able to.
She and Jason are alike in a few ways – they're both strong, independent people who would do anything for their family and friends, are both reasonably insecure about turning out as their mother, and because of her broken promises they are fiercely loyal.
But they are also very different, and not only looks wise. Their mother's death caused Thalia to become defensive and prickly. It caused Jason to always play by the rules and keep his promises no matter what. Also, when you tease Jason, he'll frown at you and be a good sport. If you tease Thalia, she'll fry your eyebrows off.
Just between you and me now, feelings book, I'm breaking down writing this. I don't know why I even started. Oh I may sound like I'm talking about something nice and happy, but you know what I'm actually talking about?
A brother and sister. Siblings who thought each other were dead. And then found each other. Then flaunt their sibling love in other people's faces.
If anything, this is the reason I can barely look at Thalia. Earlier, I said she had the qualities of a great sister. She and Jason, the way they are with each other, it reminds me of Bianca and myself so much my heart aches when I see them. So I plaster on my well-used fake smile and carry on. Then I go back to my cabin and throw things.
But the reason I feel regret when I look at Thalia (instead of anger or sadness or loneliness) is because it wasn't her fault. She wasn't with the hunters when Bianca died, and though she was on the quest Percy made it clear to me that she couldn't have helped (he probably could have, but that's beside the point). The thing I feel about her is regret because she then joined. Another poor girl lost to the hunters. And then she started collecting more and more people, making me feel worse unintentionally, because it's like she's trying to erase all the girls of the past – and not just Bianca, others as well.
Well, I think I'm going to go now. I can hear Jason knocking. That reminds me, I've got to put this somewhere he won't find it.
Oh gods Nico, I didn't know you felt like this. You should tell me man! I'll try to be more thoughtful… btw, under your mattress is so predictable.
I WILL HAVE YOU BURN IN TARTARUS JASON!
Poor Nico. And bad Jason!
Hope you like it! Wasn't really my favourite one, but, who knows? Maybe it'll be yours!
Flamingo