Super Mario: the Strike of Tatanga
Chapter 2
The Royal Raceway. One enormous stretch of black road, dedicated to providing a fast and convenient path to the royal castle of Princess Peach Toadstool. The Royal Raceway was a far newer invention, in the Mushroom Kingdom, compared to what the area was like 30 years prior, when it was all still just grass and hills.
Mario and Luigi came from Earth, and throughout their whole lives, they were familiar with the existence of interstate highways, freeways, toll-paying turnpikes, and other such enormous stretches of road, covering hundreds of miles, dedicated to providing fast and convenient travel. They had never really traveled outside of New York, and rarely interacted with those highways. They never really needed to learn to drive a car, in New York. However, the very idea of it, and the rare chances to get to be the passenger in a car as it drove down the highways, a short distance through the state of New York, had always been a treasure to the two boys, when they were little. They had stared out the window in awe, as Papa had yelled not to get their fingerprints on the glass. Papa had never quite seen what the two boys saw in all those car rides, their sense of magic and wonder about everything they saw out the glass windows. Papa saw nothing special. Nothing but buildings obviously racked up in financial debt.
Now, as adults, they had, years ago, taught the mushroom-people the Earth-people's way of advancing beyond dirt roads, and the many rocks that made gravel, which was painful to walk across with bare feet, to the superior method of solid black asphalt, which was painted to have solid and dotted lines with Earthly paint, in white and yellow. That was enough of a revolution, for now. The rest of the Earthly inventions - the bridges and highways and cement support beams that he remembered - could wait until some other time.
The Royal Raceway was the crowning achievement of the Mushroom Kingdom's laborers. Solid black asphalt went on for miles, providing a clear path between several points in the kingdom's land. Traveling to the castle and back was very convenient, to the people who worked in the castle and wished to travel long distances by go-kart. It was usually just used by Mario and his friends for racing, for fun. Yet, over the years, the Royal Raceway seemed to be opened up to everyone who wanted to use it, not just those who worked for the princess.
Dozens of mushroom-people were driving their go-karts through the Royal Raceway already. No longer did they have the place all to themselves, or just to race around in with their friends, as these roads had long since become completely public.
Had Mario and Luigi not expected this to be the consequence of their self-tiring efforts to teach these people go-karts, highways, and expressways? Never again would they have the freedom of zero traffic that they used to experience on the Royal Raceway. Then again, that just made it all the more of a success. Like fish in the sea, the traffic of go-karts continued to swim on down the road at the fastest speeds they could manage.
"Are they aware, yet, of what Tatanga has done?" Luigi asked.
"They've all been on the Royal Raceway for some time. None of them are aware yet," Mario said. "They'll learn in time. But until then, it's just any other day."
Luigi slammed on the gas, then came to an abrupt halt behind another go-kart. "Look, I never quite learned how to ride stick-shift, okay?" he yelled. "Or automatic, or anything really!"
"Yeah - and nobody's taught these people how to drive but themselves," Mario added.
Traffic lights, speed traps, laws, regulations, and other similar things were still not yet added to the world of the Mushroom Kingdom. The go-karts were driving chaotically. Every person seemed to want to be in the lead, driving at the head of the group. Mushroom-people were cutting each other off, driving aggressively, and getting into minor accidents.
"Yeah, the cars are not happening," Luigi said to his brother. Mario nodded his head in agreement. It was a good thing they were not experiencing the truly dangerous speeds.
A Goomba jumped down onto the road, from a branch in a tree! The Goomba snapped its jaws a couple times as the go-kart drove on past it. Finally, the Goomba leaped into Luigi's go-kart, and it snapped its jaws at the plumber and princess, both of who screamed.
"I'm coming, Luigi!" Mario said, but two brown Goombas had popped up in his own go-kart.
Luigi looked at Daisy, then back at the orange Goomba. "Sorry, pal! You've gotta go!" he yelled, pushing the Goomba back, to land on the road. He ended up squished, defeated.
"Princess. Take the wheel!" Mario yelled, and he leaped up onto the moving go-kart. His feet swung around his body and kicked the first of the two brown Goombas. Once he landed his feet back on the cart, he applied all his velocity, building up so far, into a punch that he delivered to the one remaining Goomba, who fell to the road.
The red go-kart swerved left and right, but Mario climbed back inside quickly and began to buckle his seatbelt back in. "I've got it, I've got it," he said to Peach as he took over the wheel again, just in time to drive in between two go-karts to avoid crashing into them. The two cars' horns were certainly activated.
The fast ride for survival was not over yet - it was only beginning. Now Bob-Ombs were leaping out of the trees and toward their go-karts! Luigi drove around wildly, but still the mushroom-people's karts, all of which were black, were being bombarded. Karts began to spin out of control, striking each other. This travel to another land was already filled with monsters.
Mario drove around to avoid being struck by the falling Bob-Ombs. One by one, a series of 7 Bob-Ombs dove toward the ground, exploding and denting the ground in the process. Mario and Luigi had both managed to successfully miss them all.
Another trick was employed. Bob-Ombs using blue-and-white parachutes began to leap out of the trees in an attempt to land on the passing go-karts. One particular Bob-Omb, named Bob just like the rest of them, opened up his chute and focused on his aim, wanting to land in just the right spot. Slowly, he descended through the air, and he tilted his body right to ride the winds more in that direction, piloting his wingless body to land gently on the back of Mario's red go-kart. His blue-and-white parachute landed on the kart a few seconds later. In seconds, he was shaking violenly, his black body flashing yellow once per second, and after four seconds, twice as fast.
Mario punched the Bob-Omb just when there was a spot open, in the fast-moving traffic of go-karts, for the monster to land on empty road without hurting anyone.
"Anything else coming at us?" Mario yelled.
Indeed, a Lakitu, an orange animal inside a white cloud, was floating on by. "No! No, no, no, not the Lakitus!" Mario yelled. But, indeed, it was happening: go-karts with no ceiling were being bombarded by red Spiny shells, which were covered in spines and thorns, thrown by the Lakitu in the cloud.
Everyone in the immediate area simply drove away from where the Spinies were being thrown, as their red shells landed on the ground, perfectly on their feet, to walk under their spiny shells' protective coating. They were walking slowly across the road now, and many go-karts attempted to avoid hitting them.
"Peach. I need some veggies," Mario said.
Peach quickly got to work handing him the combat veggies.
"Eat your veggies, Lakitu!" Mario yelled, throwing the naturally weaponized plant life at the monster in the cloud. Striking the side of his head, the veggie knocked Lakitu out of the white cloud he had been resting in. Lakitu, a species similar in design to the Koopa, wriggled around on its back, thrashing its four limbs for a moment. Sighing, it gave up.
"Maaa-a-a-rio! There's more Lakitus behind him!" Luigi yelled.
Indeed, two more Lakitus were approaching from ahead, one from Mario's left and one from his right. Mario and Luigi both had to aim carefully, trying their best to lock their aim onto their moving targets, but when they threw their veggies, neither one threw them nearly hard enough. Mario and Luigi tried again. For the second time in a row, they missed. They tried again. For the third time, they missed.
Now the two Lakitus did some throwing of their own. They threw one Spiny shell at a time. Two were working on this task at once. They quickly threw shell after shell down onto the ground, to present more obstacles for the plumbers.
Mario waited for perfect timing. He threw a veggie at the Lakitu, at such a precise moment that it would strike the Spiny shell, which was falling down through the air, to bounce back up and strike the Lakitu. All at once, the monster was knocked out of his cloud. Mario quickly looked at the other Lakitu, and threw a veggie at an oncoming Spiny shell to make it bounce back up to hit its master. Soon enough, the third Lakitu monster for the day struck the ground. "Boy, we sure do win a lot!" Luigi said.
The drive was silent for the next 10 seconds, and all they had to worry about now was the normal traffic of go-karts driven by mushroom-people. However, a few surprises were still left. A Giant Goomba, from Giant Land, leaped down from the thick branches of a tree, and landed on the ground. It snapped its enormous jaws at Mario and Luigi threateningly. Not a single veggie was left in either of their possession. Too many had been wasted on those two Lakitus earlier.
Mario drove right into the Giant Goomba, being able to think of no other way to deal with the monster. But 3 more Giant Goombas leaped down to the ground from tree branches, and so Mario and Luigi found themselves deliberately aiming both go-karts at them, to avoid being the ones attacked. Knocking into all 3 monsters, the plumbers had won again.
At last, the drive down the Royal Raceway became quiet and normal again. It was incredible to think of how many monsters they had encountered here, but all the monsters in this area were down by now, for certain. Within minutes, the two drivers reached an exit in the raceway, leaving the paved roads to get to the normal dirt roads of the town.
Peach's castle was far away now. The signs by the dirt road now read: "SUNSET VILLAGE - 1 Mile Ahead".
After only one more mile of driving, they arrived at Sunset Village. The "WELCOME" sign was written in red letters, against orange wood: "WELCOME TO SUNSET VILLAGE".
"Let's check out what this village has to offer," Mario said.
The village was complete with dozens of buildings, varying in size between one, two, and three stories tall. The entire town was uniform in the wall textures, and the buildings only came in three colors, gray, biege, and red. The go-karts drove around the main roads of the town, and the drivers admired the sights of the place.
Driving around the roads and intersections, they stopped at a building labeled SHOP. Turning off the engines, Mario and Luigi unbuckled their seatbelts and climbed out of their vehicles. Luigi opened the SHOP door for Daisy, Peach, and Mario.
"Hello!" a mushroom-person man said, from behind a counter made of many wooden boxes. "Are you here to buy or sell?"
"Buy," Mario said.
"All right! Well, let me come show you what we've got. A VERY special deal: Super Mushroom, this is, of course, the kind that makes you giant, for only 60 coins each. 60 coins! BUT! But! Special deal! Special deal. 50 coins. Special deal. Now, over here we have -"
"60, 50 coins?" Mario asked himself. "Sheesh. Please don't tell me the economy is bad here, too?"
"Hey, now, this is actually a pretty small price for something of so much value. 100 coins gets you two power-ups. Sounds fair enough to me."
Peach and Daisy murmured between each other for a moment. "That does sound kind of fair," Daisy said.
Luigi looked around. "Hmm. Let's get four Fire-Flowers, for starters. We'll need that." Turning to the man behind the counter, he said: "I'll take four Fire-Flowers."
"Coming right up! 198 coins. 13 coins tax. Your total comes to 211 coins. Can I interest you in a Mushroom Card? . . . It's kind of like a credit card, except, uhhh, you know. It's shaped like a mushroom."
"Does it come out of checking?"
"No, it counts as credit."
"Hmm. I don't know. I don't think so."
"Are you sure? It could save you 8% off your -"
"I - I don't know," Luigi said. "I don't think so. Maybe next time."
"All right. Well. I'll get fired if I don't ask. So." The man behind the counter excitedly ran to show off the rest of the items he was selling. "Remember, 100 coins gets you two items."
Koo-wumm! came the sound of Luigi showing off his large green Frog Coin. "Holy mackerel!" the man screamed. "S-sorry. Didn't mean to curse. But you understand that these things are worth 100 Mushroom Kingdom coins, right now, due to the -"
"Ex-exchange rate. Yeah. I know."
". . . due to the exchange rate of two different forms of currency. Yes. These things are VERY handy! All right!"
So Luigi presented a second Frog Coin, and took a moment to get 11 gold coins onto the counter. "Here," he said. The man handed him four Fire-Flowers, to be used later.
"I'll have four Metal Caps, and four Starmen. Hey - do you have any artifacts that enable flight?"
"No, sorry, I don't have any of that stuff here at my shop. Nothing for flight."
"Well . . . who does, in this town?"
"This town? Nobody, I'm afraid. This town has outlawed all items that enable flight. No - if you want that, you would have to look three towns west, I'm afraid. I can, however, help you with those Metal Caps and the Starmen. Can I interest you in a -"
"No thanks."
Soon enough, the four adventurers were each in possession of a single Fire-Flower, Metal Cap, and Starman, each artifact possessing a pretty insane amount of power. The four felt unstoppable, except for Daisy, who continued to feel only anxiety from these travels. Over the years, she had heard the stories of Mario and Luigi going on their great adventures, saving kingdoms, fighting villains, encountering armies of monsters. They had been stories, so far, real life stories exchanged by other people. Her boyfriend was a hero of the worlds, yes. But she had never really seen all the action like this for herself before.
"So this is what an adventure looks like, eh?" Daisy asked as she walked with the other three through Sunset Village.
"Oh, this? This is nothing," Luigi said. "This is just preparation. We want to have a few things to help us when we start the real adventure. Daisy . . . look. You'll get through this just fine. You want to be one of us heroes, right? Out in action? Stopping the bad guy? So that's what you'll be."
"That doesn't mean I can necessarily do the same things myself," she said. "Unlike you guys, who have plenty of history fighting monsters and conquerors, I really don't. I want to go back home."
"Daisy. You can't mean that."
"Go back home? It wasn't your father that was abducted," Peach said angrily to Daisy. "I'm not going back home!"
"Maybe so," Daisy said. "I've been abducted by Tatanga in the past."
"All right . . . I've got an idea," Luigi said. "Just apprentice with us for a while."
"Apprentice?"
"Yeah! You know . . . watch us heroes in action. You'll see. A couple hours of watching us in action, and you'll be ready to fight the bad guys."
"Are we gonna have to wipe your tears away for you, too?" Peach yelled.
Mario and Luigi were shocked. They had never expected her to say that. "You're being a wuss!" Peach added. "Come on, Daisy. You wanted to come out here with us, and see what the adventure looks like. This is what it looks like."
Daisy thought about it. "This is what it looks like!" she said. She nodded her head.
Sunset Village had more going on than just that SHOP building. There was an INN building, in case of sleepiness. HOSPITAL. DOCTOR. SHERIFF. JAIL. BARBER. PIRHANA JOE'S PIZZA. BIG BLOOPER'S PIZZA.
"Heh heh!" Mario laughed while shoving Luigi. "Looks like our decision to teach pizza to the Mushroom World has paid off in spades! Look - there's two competitor pizza places! 31 years ago, these guys had no idea pizza existed!"
"Just call us Marco Polo!" Luigi said. "Makes me wonder what else we should bring to this world from Earth. Some things, I think, we should leave behind."
The sign for PIRHANA JOE'S PIZZA depicted a Pirhana Plant, red and green in color, standing while wearing a white apron and tall chef's hat, holding a glass container of parmesan cheese in one hand. Similarly, the sign for BIG BLOOPER'S PIZZA depicted a pink octopus throwing pizzas at terrified people.
"REMEMBER: You Need Bottled Water," read the words in a 30-foot sign that depicted an enormous pink Blooper octopus holding up a nameless bottle of water. Beneath that: "You may think you are fine without it, and for a short time you may actually be fine, but you need bottled water if you are to remain at all healthy, and particularly if you are planning on a long travel."
"!" Luigi said. "He's right! We will need bottled water if we are to survive!" So the four adventurers ran through the town, into the BOTTLED WATER store.
Inside the building, the walls were all dark blue, and the floors and ceilings were light blue. The smell of bleach and perfume brought back sensations of Kindergarten in the two plumbers. Walking through the store, they found a lifetime supply of bottled water lining every shelf.
"Look at this one!" Luigi said, pointing to the two-ounce bottles of water. "Who is this for? A baby?"
Walking on further, Mario pointed to the 10-gallon jugs of water, and asked "Who drinks this? Giant Land?"
Two Goombas from Giant Land approached him from one aisle over, giving him an angry glare. After a moment, the wife, of those two, went back to pushing the shopping cart loaded with a 10-gallon jug of water. "Well . . . still, look at this! Smart Water?" Mario asked. "What's next? Dumb Water?"
Walking on, they found Dumb Water. "Oh. Well!" Mario said.
"Hey, check this out, Mario! Look at my balance!" Luigi jumped onto one 5-gallon jug of water, gripping its top with both hands, and executing a handstand that kept both of his feet high up in the air. Slowly spinning his body around, he said, "Check this out, I can keep up a - whoaaaa!" And Luigi crashed into all the jugs of water in the area.
"And you and your deadbeat brother can STAY out!" the mushroom-person manager screamed, pushing the two plumbers out the front door of the BOTTLED WATER building.
Mario and Luigi sighed, their backs to the walls of the BARBERSHOP building. "Now what are we going to do?" Luigi asked, extremely depressed.
"Neither one of us can get the bottled water now," Mario added. "Hey. What happened to our girlfriends?"
Taking another glance in the store, the manager was already deep in conversation with not only one, but two, princesses! Mario and Luigi ran inside, afraid. "Peach! Daisy!" they yelled. "We'll save you!"
"Oh, is that the case?" the manager asked Daisy. "For that many years, huh?"
"Yes, and today was the King being captured. It's never been the King before. Anyway. What we need is 4 gallons of water total. We have cash."
"I see. Can I interest you in a Bottled Water Store Credit Card?"
"NO!" Daisy screamed, and she slapped the man.
"All right! Hey! Stop it! I get fired if I don't ask! Okay? . . . Anyway. So. Four gallons? Coming right up."
"Oh . . . wait . . . I guess there's a tax on that."
"No, there's no tax on water," the man said.
"Really?" Daisy asked.
"Really?" Peach asked.
"No, they don't tax certain things that are food or water. Anyway - your total is 400 coins. But minus 4 coins, now it is 396 coins."
"Minus 4 coins?"
"Yeah. You know. Bottled water costs 99 coins. Sounds a lot cheaper than 100 coins. So, two bottles of water, 99 times 2, 198. You buy three items that cost a Frog Coin each, and it's 297 coins . . . 300 minus 3, 400 minus 4, 500 minus 5. Yep. Retail is a wonderful world."
"You just said cents," Peach said.
"No I didn't. I said coins. Really."
"Oh. Well, anyway. Thank you!"
"Have a good one!" the mushroom-person manager said as the two princesses left the building. He continued to check them out as they were leaving.
"WE got the four gallons of water," Daisy yelled at the two plumbers.
Mario and Luigi grumbled. "Oh well," Luigi said. "At least this should help them get over their travel anxiety."
"So what's the next land we travel to?" Peach asked. "Our goal is to get to Tatanga's spaceship."
"Yes," Mario said. "And unfortunately, no villages in this entire land seem to sell anything capable of flight. We could attempt to ask around for more opinions than just his. But, we run the risk of wasting some time. Basically, we want to get to Tatanga's ship. That's our goal. But to reach his ship, we need to get our hands on an artifact that enables flight. They can be bought three towns west of here."
"Three towns west of here? That doesn't sound so bad," Luigi said. "We could make it in a day or two."
"Let's just see," Mario said.
The four travelers walked through the village, now in possession of a Fire-Flower, Starman, Metal Cap, and a gallon of water each.
"What's three towns west of here?" Luigi asked.
Mario consulted a map. He looked for Sunset Village. Above Sunset Village - to its north - laid the freezing cold ice-lands of Frappe Snowland. Below Sunset Village - to its south - was the Koopahari Desert. To the right of Sunset Village, moving east, was Ocean Land, the land of beaches and the ocean. To the left of Sunset Village was Sunrise Village, followed by the Rice Fields, followed by Windtown. This was the town where they could buy an artifact to enable flight.
"We are here," Mario said, pointing to Sunset Village on the map. "Three towns west is Sunrise Village, the Rice Fields, and finally, Windtown. Once there, we'll buy an artifact for flight. We'll use it to reach Tatanga's ship. The four of us will fight Tatanga's servants, and fight the alien himself, and rescue the King. Remember. Although each of us possesses a Fire-Flower, a Metal Cap, and even a Starman, they must be used very, very conservatively."
"Let's go check out Sunrise Village!" Daisy said.
Standing in the hilly parts of Sunset Village, the adventurers were able to look all around themselves and see what lands laid out in the far distance. The freezing ice lands of Frappe Snowland. The desert terrain of the Koopahari Desert. Those were clearly the wrong ways to travel. Sunrise Village appeared to almost always be in its sunrise stage of the day. It was clear to see which path led to Sunrise Village, and therefore, which path was west.
"Tip: attach a compass to your go-kart," Luigi said, pointing toward his green go-kart.
Mario and Peach raced to the red go-kart, to climb inside, while Luigi and Daisy climbed inside the green kart. "My compass says that way is west!" Luigi said, tearing off down the road and crashing right into a tree. "Aahhhh-wah! Stupid tree." Luigi applied the brakes, pulled the shifter to Reverse, and gave it gas, reversing the go-kart and hitting Mario.
"Nooo!" Mario screamed. He raced ahead. "Okay. No more stupid go-kart accidents?"
"Shut up," Luigi said angrily. He tore off down the road, again, traveling west.
The tan-colored road went on for several minutes, in the go-karts. Mario and his company of travelers were glad that they were not stuck walking. Already, the heat of the Sun had exhausted them and made them sweat more than they would have expected. The one gallon of water was slowly being reduced.
"WELCOME TO SUNRISE VILLAGE," read the wooden sign that welcomed the four, as they continued to drive on past.
"The last village we visited had a lot of buildings," Luigi said. "I wonder what this new town will bring?"
The two go-karts gradually began to slow down their speed, to observe some of the enormous mushrooms that were growing from the ground. Luigi touched one with his hand, and watched as the gigantic orange mushroom, almost half as tall as himself, bobbed back and forth in the wind. He laughed.
One orange mushroom in the middle of the road popped up and revealed itself to be a Goomba. Angrily, the Goomba wobbled on forward with its small two legs. The Goomba snapped its jaws and threatened to bite Mario. He jumped up into the air, soaring up high and landing on the Goomba.
"Didn't find that in Sunset Village," Luigi noted.
Three Goombas were emerging from a large hollow log laying on the ground. "Didn't find that, either!" Mario said. Wasting no time, the two jumped into action, landing on two Goombas, and Mario executed a second jump to squash the third Goomba.
"How violent," Luigi said.
Bop! Luigi was knocked back by a green shell, which slid across the ground at fast speeds. "Arf!" he yelled as he hit the ground. It was not enough force to kill him. But another two blows to the body equal to that, and he'd be a goner, and he knew it.
"Weege! Noo!" Mario yelled, and he looked to his left just in time to notice an oncoming red Koopa shell. Mario jumped up into the air in time to miss the red shell from striking him. The thing moved so fast that it left a small red trail of energy behind itself. Mario breathed a sigh of relief, safe from the danger at last.
The shell struck a brown block, and reversed its course back toward Mario. These shells slid so fast. Mario jumped just in time to land on the red shell, and the energies and velocities of both objects hitting each other neutralized both. Mario landed on the ground on his two feet, and the red shell was no longer in motion. He grabbed the red shell, carried it in his hand, walked it over to the green shell, and both flipped away from each other and ceased to exist.
Leaving the two go-karts behind - for the moment - Mario and Luigi headed the walk through the land, down the natural road of Sunrise Village. From the trees, on both sides of the road, two Goombas and three Koopas emerged, stepping onto the road to walk in the direction of the plumbers.
The timing had to be just right. Mario jumped on top of one Goomba's head, then grabbed the monster with both hands, picked it up, and threw it onto the ground. He had intended to hit the other of the two Goombas, but instead the one he threw landed on the natural ground, and went back to jumping up and down.
Both Goombas snapped their jaws at the two plumbers. "Look at this," Luigi said to Daisy. "Watch, and apprentice."
Mario punched one Goomba, and Luigi kicked the other. Both monsters flew back through the air, in two different directions, 90 degrees apart from each other. Both were finished. But the three Koopas were just starting to get energized. All three Koopas, red, green, and blue, ran after the two plumbers, and Daisy, though she knew to be prepared, still involuntarily gasped, covering up her face with both forearms.
Luigi jumped through the air, landing on the blue Koopa. The monster was immediately removed from his shell, forced to fly forward, leaving the shell as a lifeless object, like a left-over clam shell in the ocean: a perfect weapon. Luigi picked the shell up, and decided to run around in circles for a moment, to be absolutely sure that his aim was good. Running around in circles was always a critical step to getting this done right. Aiming it precisely, he dropped the Koopa shell and, like a soccer ball, kicked the object, so that it would knock into the red and green Koopas, and continue to travel.
Thwack!-Thwack! came the double-sound of Koopas being struck, the monsters removed from their shelves, as the blue shell continued to soar ahead.
The four travelers stayed still for a moment, until they saw that the road was now clear of monsters. They traveled backward, for a small time, to get back to the two go-karts. The vehicles drove on, and in less than one minute, monsters began to pop out from the sides of the road and into the middle of the path again, and so the four heroes jumped out to fight them on-foot.
"I've - I've never done this before!" Daisy yelled. "YOU guys have gone out PLENTY of times!"
"Just watch," Mario said. "I swear - it won't be that scary after long enough."
Three Round Goombas were running at Mario, a completely different shape than the normal Goombas he was used to. These were the ones that were native to Dinosaur Land. Mario jumped on one, picked it up, and threw it into the second of the three Goombas, who in turn knocked into the third.
The ElectriKoopa, whose shell was both purple and blue, threw its shell outward, to strike and electrifiy both plumbers at once, before it returned to the monster's smaller yellow body. Mario remembered these things, too. They were from Isle Delfino, the island shaped like a dolphin. So many different times he had saved people . . . it was hard to keep it all together . . .
Luigi ran at the ElectriKoopa, cursing and swearing the whole time. "$& &! &$ *! $& (&! You hear me? You little *#(&#&(#*!"
"Luigi! Luigi! Calm down!" Mario yelled. "Stop! Don't touch him. That's just what he wants!"
The ElectriKoopa was laughing now. Laughing.
"I'll teach you to laugh!" Luigi yelled, punching him. But on came another shock.
Mario looked around. Weren't any sticks on the ground big enough? He found one small piece of a log. "Hey-a Koopa!" he yelled loudly. He threw the object, but nothing happened. The log did no damage to the monster.
Angrily, the ElectriKoopa sent its shell outward, to strike Mario. Just what the plumber wanted. He leaped up into the air, landing on the beast, flattening it. "Whew! Huh! Finally!" Mario said. "I am way, WAY too old to be doing this!"
"Hey, that's fine. You get older, you only get better," Luigi said, shoving Mario by the arm.
"Not better at lasting several hours at this! Oh . . . you're welcome, for saving you."
"I would have got him. Nyahhh-ah."
Mario and Luigi looked around. What else was out there? A Black Koopa approached. "Wait! No! That's no Koopa!" Mario yelled. "DON'T TOUCH THAT SHELL!"
Luigi jumped on the monster's back, his shell, then landed on the ground next to it. He was ready to kick the monster, as he would normally kick a Koopa shell, until he observed that the black shell self-destructed in an explosion with a small blast radius.
"My . . . what?" Luigi asked.
"Sarasaland," Mario said. "They're from Sarasaland. They're called Nokobons."
"Who are you, Goombario?"
"Shut up!"
"I thought it was called Sara-sara-land," Luigi said. "I could have sworn."
"Uhhh, nn . . . no, that's just a translation error between Sarasaland and the Mushroom Kingdom. Anyway. Nokobons are from the same planet as Tatanga. They're one of his minions."
"Then, why do we see them here, alongside all the normal animals of the Mushroom Kingdom?" Luigi asked.
"Tatanga's in charge," Mario reminded him. "Clearly, Tatanga is employing the same kinds of monsters as he did last time, with these Nokobons, yet he seems to want to employ Bowser's choice of minions as well, with the Goombas and Koopas."
"So he's taking over armies now?" Luigi asked.
"In a sense . . . maybe he's abducting these monsters and making them work for him. Well. We need to reach Tatanga, and we need to reach the King. We've only really traveled ONE land west by now. We still need to reach two more lands until flight artifacts are legal."
"Why did they make it illegal to fly, again?"
"A kid broke his arm."
"Oh. That's a shame." Luigi sighed. "Hope the kid's arm is all right."
Two monsters walked in the plumbers' direction that they had never seen before. They were Koopas with orange shells, with red outlines. Fire Koopas, within seconds, became a clear possibility for their nickname. Both monsters belched a small ball of fire through the air, to travel on until it struck something, or until it wafted away into thin air.
"Fire Koopas?" Luigi questioned. "I've never seen these things before!"
"Relax, Luigi. How hard could it be?" Mario asked. He ran forward, but the monsters ran into action as well.
One Fire Koopa jumped on the other, then kicked its orange shell at Mario. Quickly, Mario dashed away as a flaming orange shell flew at him, leaving behind itself a small trail of fire which took several seconds to die down. Mario jumped up into the air as the shell came at him again, returning to its Koopa friend. Soon, Mario saw that this Fire Shell would continue to move his way, repeatedly.
Luigi jumped on the other of the two Fire Koopas, separating it from its shell. Luigi threw one shell into the other, igniting an explosion of fireworks. Both Fire Koopas now seemed down for the count.
"Huh," Mario said. "The last town we visited had, like . . . shops, and inns, and stuff. This land seems to be uncivilized, and full of monsters."
Luigi nodded his head.
"I think I've been apprenticing for long enough," Daisy said. "I think I get the rough idea of how this stuff works. I think I ought to try this action, this combat!"
"Are . . . are you sure you're ready?" Luigi asked.
Three Buzzy Beetles, with shells as hard as diamond, slowly walked in their direction. "Guess I'm about to find out!" Daisy said, and she ran out into action for the first time.
It wasn't that hard. She landed on one of the three Buzzy Beetles. Then, she landed on the ground next to it. She had to take a second to admire that she had really been able to do it. She had landed on the beetle! For now, it was out of commission, stuck inside its shell. With enough time, it would bring itself back to its feet. Now what?
Now she ran forth and kicked the Buzzy Beetle into the other two, knocking them both away. "HA HAAA!" Daisy screamed, never having expected the exihilarating rush of action and adventure. "Did you see that? I just knocked away three monsters, by myself!"
"I'm proud of you!" Luigi said happily, and he gave her a kiss.
Daisy got herself ready to fight more monsters, as Peach, Mario, and Luigi returned to their go-karts to get back to driving. Now that they had fought all the monsters in the area, and likely scared off whatever ones remained, it was time to drive to the next land over, while the compass' pole pointed toward 3:15, making their current travel direction West.
The next land over would be the Rice Fields.
…
Okay, so. Although I loved Super Mario Bros. 3, with its adventure through the Mushroom Kingdom, desert, ocean, Giant Land, sky, Ice Land, Pipe Maze, and the Valley of Bowser, I also think it's time for an all-new Mario adventure filled with a sequence of lands you've not yet heard of. Super Mario 64 was cool, and although it repeated the settings of desert, ocean, a size-world, the sky, and the ice-lands, it was all done in 3-D, way different-looking than how it had been shown before. Several Mario games since, like New Super Mario Bros. and its sequels, have simply repeated that basic journey, the desert, the ocean land, the ice land, but I say, it's time for a sequence of lands never yet done. So: the Mushroom Kingdom, the Royal Raceway (taken from Mario Kart 64), Sunset Village (an RPG-like town), Sunrise Village (action level), and next, the Rice Fields, which will be followed by Windtown (like Chicago, the Windy City).
Familiar places from previous games are mentioned on the map, to create a complete mental portrait of the world - but they are not visited by the characters. Koopahari Desert, Ocean Land, and Giant Land are from Super Mario Bros. 3, and the Frappe Snowland is from Mario Kart 64.
Their adventure to travel three towns west is like the east-to-west travel from Japan to America. This is technically the journey that Mario, as a video-game and as a character, makes.
In terms of the monsters, indeed:
- Super Mario Bros. 3 had the Giant Goombas, from Giant Land
- Super Mario Land had the Nokobons, from Sarasaland
- Super Mario World had the Round Goombas, in Dinosaur Land (why not co-exist?)
- Super Mario Sunshine had the ElectriKoopas, in Isle Delfino
- and to my knowledge the Fire Koopas are all new, by me.
The 3rd of 3 Mario cartoon shows - Super Mario World - had involved Mario teaching inventions from Earth to a species of cavemen that were never seen in the game, in Dinosaur Land. For instance, in one episode, the car, in another, the telephone, often with the disastrous result that the cavemen are just not ready for our modern-day inventions. I have applied this to the mushroom-people of the Mushroom Kingdom.