A/N: Let's have a damn partay! XD XD XD And lots of sexy "dragging Liara off to the bathroom" smut! XD XD Oh yeah and I didn't have Shep invite Jacob because you know. He's effing lame. And don't worry, this party is going to be three or possibly four parts long involving lots of sex to sexy Afterlife music, magicdildos, the works. XD By the end of the party, no one is going to be completely sure how anyone survived the party. LOL!

Chapter 20

The Party, Part 1

"You invited Aria and Councilor Tevos to the party?!" Liara all but squeaked at Shepard. How she loved her Commander, but sweet Goddess, what was she thinking?!

Shepard gave her a sheepish grin, leaning against the kitchen counter. "What? Aria was very helpful during the war, as was Tevos in her own way. I wanted to invite everyone for this one, since it could be a long time before we see any of them again. Plus, you have to admit, Aria will make a hell of a DJ."

Liara's eyes narrowed. "This wouldn't have anything to do with that kiss Aria gave you, would it?" Liara couldn't help but ask. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Shepard was completely faithful and that Aria had done it to piss off Liara more than anything. But her hormones were still running amok and jealousy seemed to be her foremost emotion at the moment.

"Really? Are you ever going to live that down? She kissed me!" Shepard retorted indignantly.

Liara glanced back at the data pad, scrutinizing the invite list. She wasn't actually bothered with Shepard about the kiss, or even Aria. She knew Aria just wanted to get a rise out of her because Aria was being . . . well Aria. If she ever tried it again, Liara would simply have to warp her face. "You invited Kelly and Traynor. Good. Maybe those two will finally hook up and stop going after you," she grumbled.

Shepard blinked. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Shepard, we both know when Traynor invited herself up to your cabin, she had no intention of simply playing chess."

"Yeah she wanted to take a damn shower. But I didn't let her because the shower in my cabin is strictly reserved for me and you."

"Very nice save," Liara shot back. She was about to continue with her jealous line of inquiry when suddenly . . . Shepard. The human pressed herself up against her and sunk her teeth into Liara's neck. Liara dropped the data pad with a small whimper. For reasons she still didn't understand, when Shepard got just a bit pushy and possessive, Liara got turned on almost embarrassingly fast. Shepard ran her hand behind Liara's thigh and raised the asari's leg to wrap around her waist. Then she burned a trail of nips and kisses up to Liara's ear.

"Stop it," Shepard whispered, digging her fingers into Liara's thigh to accentuate her command.

Liara shivered. She was very aware she needed to be put in her place and had even secretly hoped Shepard would put her in her place. It was easier to obey Shepard's indomitable will than her own with the way her damn hormones were running amok.

"Okay," she replied breathlessly, melting into Shepard's strong arms. She felt the hand not holding her thigh snake down her body and dip into the waistline of her pants. Just as those wonderful fingers made contact with her already-wet azure, the doorbell buzzed loudly. Both of them groaned in annoyance.

"To be continued," Shepard growled in her ear. "Don't think for a second you're off the hook, T'Soni."

Liara whimpered again when Shepard left to answer the door. She was really beginning to hate that damn doorbell.

"Your pupils are dilated," Edi said, dumping a perfectly-measured tablespoon of spice into the salsa she was making. Edi was the first to show up around fourteen hundred hours since she had offered to help cook. Shepard didn't expect anyone else until well into the evening. "Is everything all right Doctor T'Soni?"

Shepard smirked as she watched Liara visibly pull herself out of whatever she was thinking about. Shepard had a pretty damn good idea what it was.

"What?" Liara stammered.

Shepard snickered. She couldn't help it. A flustered Liara was probably her favorite Liara. "It probably just has something to do with her mood swings," Shepard jumped to her bondmate's defense. But then added, "Or some interesting cravings."

Liara shot daggers at Shepard and a lovely shade of plum dusted her cheeks.

"Cravings?" Edi asked, measuring out some more ingredients.

"Oh you know," Shepard said casually, enjoying the look of pure "don't you dare" wrath Liara was giving her. "Things like seaweed. Making out. 'Crest massages'."

"Fascinating," Edi said. "If you like, I can do some research on ways to alleviate your cravings, Doctor T'Soni."

Liara chose that moment to take a sip of tea and just about choked on it. "N-no that won't be necessary, thank you Edi!"

"So Edi, you wouldn't be offended if I ordered like fifty pizzas, would you?" Shepard asked, deciding to take pity on her poor embarrassed bondmate. "I'm sure people will eat everything you cook, but I fear no matter how much we cook, it won't be enough for two hungry krogan. I really liked that damn lamp Grunt ate."

"It is not in my programming matrices to be offended, Shepard," Edi reminded. "But if you like, I can always ensure Grunt does not eat any of your lamps by installing an incineration blast, sensitive to touch, in all your lamps." She paused when Shepard gave her a slightly concerned look. "That was a joke."

"Right," Shepard said. "I knew that."

"Grunt!" Shepard greeted the krogan, enthusiastically throwing her arms around him. "Glad to see you made it safely out of jail."

Grunt cleared his throat awkwardly, but hugged her back to her surprise. "Good to see you out of the hospital, Shepard. Those damn doctors aren't worthy of your presence."

Shepard chuckled. "You're too kind. Say, you up for being bouncer again? You did a knock-out job last time."

"Heh heh heh," Grunt chuckled in response.

"I'll take that as a yes," she smiled.

"I'm out too, thanks for asking," Zaeed drawled as he walked past. "Don't be surprised if we end up in jail again, though."

Shepard tried hard not to take that as a bad omen.

Guests continued to trickle in - Traynor, Ash, Kelly, Vega, Garrus, Tali, Kasumi, Joker, Miranda, Jack, Wrex, Captain Bailey (who she'd told "leave the uniform at the door" before allowing him in), Samara, Cortez, Engineers Daniels, Adams, and Donnelly, and all of them greeted her with a "Commander" and very familiar hug.

When Dr. Chakwas came to the door, Shepard gave her a huge hug. "Doctor Chakwas! I'm so glad you could make it! I was afraid you might bail on me again."

"There was a war on, Commander," the good doctor gently scolded. "But it's over and I made the time to see you one last time before you move to Thessia."

"I'm glad you could make it," Shepard smiled. "Now go enjoy yourself!"

Just as the doctor wandered off to find good conversation, Shepard turned back to the door to find herself looking into Matriarch Aethyta's face. "H-hey Aethyta," she stammered, taking a step back in surprise.

"Hey Kid," she drawled. "Thanks for inviting me. Am I runnin' the bar?"

"Um . . . if you want?" Shepard blinked.

"Good. See you there," she said, waving over her shoulder as she sauntered toward the bar in the back.

"Aria," Liara greeted the Queen of Omega curtly when she entered the living room and saw the other asari.

"T'Soni," she greeted back, sprawling lazily on the living room couch. "Don't s'pose I could talk you into that foursome with Shepard, could I?"

Tevos was fortunately not there to hear her offer; Liara was sure she would die of embarrassment if she found out the asari Councilor actually wanted a foursome with her and Shepard. "The day I let you touch me or Shepard like that is the day Thessia's sun explodes," Liara growled back. She was already feeling jealous; she really didn't need Aria pushing her buttons. That warp to Aria's face was beginning to sound more and more appealing.

"That wasn't a no," Aria drawled. "That was a challange to explode Thessia's sun."

Liara sauntered toward Aria with a sudden confidence when a thought struck her. She leaned down over the couch, putting her lips mere centimeters away from Aria's ear. She waited until Aria took a smug swig of her drink before whispering, "I'm pregnant."

Aria sprayed alcohol violently from her lips and coughed out a string of swear-words as Liara walked away with an incredibly self-satisfied smirk.

Shepard made her way back to the bar to check in on Aethyta and make sure nothing was destroyed or burned down and about had a heart-attack at what she found. Jack was standing next to Aethyta behind the bar, and they were both holding torches in their hands and a bottle of Ryncol. Miranda was sitting at the bar with a look of amused patience, and Wrex, Grunt, Zaeed, Joker, Vega, Cortez, Daniels, Bailey, and Garrus were all chanting "Ryn-col! Ryn-col! Ryn-col!" Aethyta lit the torches on fire and looked over at Jack.

"Think you can handle the heat Kid?" she drawled.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, old woman!" Jack retorted, taking a huge swig of Ryncol. Not to be outdone, Aethyta took a huge swig herself. A moment later the two of them spewed the Ryncol all over the flames of the torch. Everyone in the room cheered as two huge fireballs blossomed into the air.

"Now this is what I'm fuckin' talkin' about!" Jack shouted happily when she'd finished her mouthful of alcohol. "It ain't a real party until somethin's on fire!"

"As long as it's not my apartment," Shepard quickly added.

"Oh relax, Kid," Aethyta said. "I got everything under control. I'm the best fire-breathing mentor you could ask for."

"Funny, I don't remember asking you to be a fire-breathing mentor to my other guests," Shepard shot back.

"You know you want to try it, Sugartits," Jack said to Miranda, ignoring Shepard. She offered another torch to Miranda and lit the end on fire. Shepard suddenly realized she had no idea where the torches came from, then realized with continued fear that Aethyta had very probably smuggled them in.

Miranda accepted the offered torch with a competitive glint in her eyes. The boys immediately started up their "Ryn-col" chant again. Shepard decided to walk away before she developed ulcers.

Liara sat on the kitchen counter, stuffing her face with pizza dipped in the salsa Edi made, wondering why the hell it tasted so damn good. She didn't actually like pizza or salsa. She was wishing she could have alcohol for the first time since getting pregnant, though. She had a feeling the only way she was going to survive this damn party is if she had either a lot of alcohol in her or a whole lot of sex. Or both. Preferably both.

"I once had to dig shrapnel out of the wrong end of a krogan," Dr. Chakwas suddenly said to Samara. They were having an in-depth conversation about the good doctor's many medical experiences on the field. "Definitely the most uncomfortable anal-probe of my life."

Liara choked on her pizza so hard she started gagging.

"Oh my, are you all right, Dear?" Karin asked, quickly going to Liara to pat her back. Liara grabbed her glass of water and chugged it down until her throat finally cleared up.

"F-fine," Liara stammered.

"So did you get the shrapnel out of the unfortunate krogan?" Samara asked with a look of genuine interest.

"Oh yes," Karin replied. "Though to this day I still have a hard time looking at a krogan without some pretty strong flashbacks."

Liara began guzzling down her water again to hide the deep purple covering her face. Something told her it was going to be a very long night.