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Max:

By lunch the next day, we had made it to the mountains. They loomed menacingly above us, as if saying "GO BACK!" I stuck my tongue out at them, and walked on. We turned right, and followed the mountain for several days. By then, I was about ready to kill someone. It was so infuriating, knowing that I could just fly over the mountains in fifteen, twenty minute, but I had to walk days on end to get to some stupid pass that I knew wouldn't work.

Gee, I couldn't wait to freeze my butt off trudging through snow while Legolas just walked on top of it. Suddenly, I had an idea. There might be a way we could get out of going through the Mines of Moria. Screw the book, it was already messed up! These guys didn't know what a snowshoe even was! I could craft make-shift snowshoes for everyone, and then, Voila, we arrive months earlier, and squash Sauron before he can even get an army together! GENIUS! I WAS A GENIUS!

Then, my hopes and dreams fell burning to the ground, crashing and breaking into millions of tiny pieces. Because I had forgotten a key point. Snowshoes couldn't protect the fellowship from falling rocks. Ugh. Why did nothing ever go my way?! Of course, the Voice had to pitch in about that:

Calm, Max. The story does not like to be altered. Already, it has adjusted to make up for your early departure. Sauron knows that powerful new enemies have entered this world, and he has tripled his efforts to stop the fellowship. This task will be harder than you imagine, and indeed, you must follow through, or you will never get home.

Who said I even wanted to go back? Maybe I want to stay here and live with the elves! I said snidely.

There was no reply. Naturally...

The news the Voice had told me was extremely worrying. God, it was already bad enough in the book! Triple that many orcs? We were dead meat! I wanted to just curl up in a hole and forget about the ring, and middle earth, and all this fictional junk. This was all a book! Fiction! All of this was Fiction!

But a tiny part of me was thinking, "Or was it?" I squashed that uncertainty into little bits.

This is some dumb test rigged by whitecoats, or Mr. Chu, or some other villainous scientist we needed to wipe out, at least, as soon as we escaped the book.

Finally, after three days of non-stop walking, with only little breaks to rest and eat, we arrived at the mountain pass.

I helped set up camp, and sat down by the hobbits, who were squatting, using flint and steel to create sparks, and trying unsuccessfully to turn those sparks into fire.

Sam cursed and threw the flint and steel to the ground.

"How's these rocks going to make a fire? Doesn't make sense, if you ask me."

"We didn't" I said grumpily, because it was starting to get chilly out, and I was hungry.

Gandalf was about to light the fire for them, when I decided it was time to introduce them the lovely invention we call a LIGHTER. Gazzy had loads of those in his backpack, which he insisted on taking everywhere. I was glad he did, because it had first aid stuff, lighters, a flashlight (not that we really need one unless it's pitch black), and toilet paper for doing your business in the wilderness. Of course, Gazzy had added loads of gizmos and gadget into the pack as well, for quick and easy bomb production. With all those chemicals, powders, and wires jumbled together, it was a wonder the thing hadn't already blown us all to bits.

"Gazzy, lighter please?" I grumbled, holding out my hand.

Gazzy grinned, "I thought you'd never ask." He dropped a pocket lighter into my palm, and I held it up for everyone to see.

"What might that be?" asked Gandalf, walking over, eying the lighter as if it might be a bomb that was about to explode.

"Ay, that's what I was about to ask!" cried Pippin staring at the metal lighter.

"This, my friends, is what we call a lighter," I said, flicking the cap open.

They stared at me, not impressed. "Well, wot's it do?" asked Merry, scratching at his ear.

I didn't bother answering them. I just spun the little wheel, and a flicker of flame appeared.

Every single member of the fellowship gasped in shock and stumbled away, except for Gandalf and Legolas. Even high and mighty, heir to the throne of Gondor, Aragorn couldn't hide his shock. He opened and closed his mouth several times, blinking rapidly.

"Sorcery!" cried Sam fearfully, shielding his eyes like the tiny bit of light was hurting them.

"Nah, pretty much the same as your flint and steel, just positioned over a much easier to light fuel. It's called kerosene!" explained Gazzy.

"Oi, much easier to light! And it last much longer too!" said Pippin, kicking away the flint and steel.

I leaned down to light the fire, and then stopped when I heard Pippin mutter, "Merry, look at that cloud. Does it look funny to you?"

Aragorn looked up and shrugged, "It's just a cloud Pippin."

But I knew better. Partially because I had read the book, partially because I could clearly see that it was a flock of birds. That's one of the perks of being a bird-kid: you have raptor vision.

Of course, elves have good vision too... Legolas spotted the flock of spy-birds a few seconds after I did, and he whispered something in elvish to Aragorn. Aragorn frowned and peered closer at the birds, then fear entered his eyes. He grabbed Merry and Pippin and pulled them down into the brush, and hissed, "Everyone down! Lie flat and still!"

We complied, of course. The birds flew over, and eerily, they were absolutely silent. They were supposed to be spies, but still... They didn't seem to notice us, and flew on. We stayed in the brush for a good fifteen minutes after they left. Finally Legolas whispered, "It is safe now," and everyone sighed in relief.

We took up our packs, and sent, well tried to send Bill, the pony from Bree, back to Rivendell. But the pony refused to budge, so we finally had to consent and let the stubborn thing come with us.

When we had climbed up half the mountain it seemed, we finally got to the pass that was supposed to keep us from climbing the mountains. And, even better, it was buried in snow. Course, I already knew that was coming. And of course, Legolas had to be a butt and hop nimbly on top of the snow, and scout ahead a little. I think he was just looking for an excuse to show how light he was though.

And so we trudged through the mounds of snow in the mountains. Falling boulders flew over our heads, and once, Fang saved Boramir from being smashed by a particularly large one. I seethed in rage when he didn't thank Fang at all, just grumbled about being tackled. What a butt!

I had almost forgotten about Frodo, when Gazzy said, "Hey, where'd Frodo go?" Everyone looked around, and then panicked.