Chapter 22

Ivypool

I could have told them something, Ivypool thought as she shoved another bramble into place above the camp entrance. It had been nearly three weeks since WindClan had invaded and taken Crouchpaw's life with them. Nineteen sunrises, nineteen sunsets. Nights spent running through the trees of the Dark Forest begging for someone to find her with no luck, nights spent waking up with a gasp next to Bumblestripe. It was as if she had temporarily been abandoned by Hawkfrost, and under any other circumstances, she would have welcomed that abandonment. She was awaiting her next order, as right now, Jayfeather's clever idea of working with WindClan seemed to have worked. Waiting just left her an opportunity to grow closer and closer to Bumblestripe, who she undoubtedly loved, but who would only get hurt. At every moment, she knew she ought to leave, but he made it so hard. A part of Ivypool needed to be beside Bumblestripe, even more desperately than the mask needed dark instruction.

"I think it looks good," called Bumblestripe. Ivypool turned to her mate with an appreciative smile, and he beamed. Bumblestripe approached and nudged the bramble weaving she and a rotation of Birchfall, Sandstorm, and Cherrypaw had been putting up that morning. "Yeah, it's steady. Soon, the camp will be back to normal."

He shifted back on his haunches, a sad and faraway look in his eyes.

"Well, almost normal," Bumblestripe went on. "I mean, nothing will be the same. We lost an apprentice."

"Briarkit and Windkit are almost six moons," said Ivypool without thinking. "And Hazeltail will have her kits any day now. Squirrelflight's in the nursery, not far behind her." Bumblestripe looked unsure, so Ivypool nosed him fondly. "We may have lost Crouchpaw, but look. The Clan goes on."

She didn't know where she had summoned those words from, but they seemed to please Bumblestripe. Ivypool could tell Hawkfrost that they were part of the cover, but were they? Honestly, she didn't know. Sometimes her mind just shut down, especially now that she was battling both the guilt of being in the Dark Forest along with the guilt of not letting her Clan know in some way that WindClan was planning an attack.

Maybe it was because she didn't think that Breezepelt would be able to pull off planning the attack, or maybe it was because she didn't think it would result in serious casualties, but Ivypool had let the WindClan attack slide. She hadn't worried about it. She had focused on…on Bumblestripe, and that left her and the Clan open to attack. It would have been hard to let Jayfeather know of anything, but Ivypool knew deep within her that she could have done it somehow.

"What's up?" asked Bumblestripe, his amber eyes gleaming in the new-leaf sun. "You have that thinking face on again." Ivypool shook her thoughts away and let herself smile back, but everything seemed to be moving a little bit slower.

"It…it's nothing," she said hastily. "I'm fine."

"You do seem to be feeling better," said Bumblestripe. "If there's anything I can do to help, just say the word." His concern was so genuine. Ivypool nuzzled into his neck and stayed there for a moment, not worried about the nosiness of her Clan-mates. She took comfort in brief moments like this, but she couldn't tell him the truth, no matter how much she…

"I am," she said, dispelling all thoughts of love from her mind. Love was dangerous, no matter how good or safe it made her feel inside. "Right now, everything's just a little stressful. Building back camp." She stretched, but stumbled, finding herself off-balance. Her movements had been slower lately; it felt as though more pressure was suddenly on her shoulders, but she had no idea why. It had been harder and harder to fend off Hawkfrost, which was making him angry…

Her thoughts of the Place of No Stars eventually turned the world around her into it, and Ivypool distantly felt herself torn as she fell. For a moment, she glimpsed the dark trees and eerie grass, and then something hard disturbed her and tugged her away.

She found that she was on the ground, and that Bumblestripe was standing over her.

"Ivypool!" His face cleared, and Ivypool could very clearly see his pretty eyes so worried. "Ivypool, are you alright?"

"Hmm?" Ivypool wasn't even aware that she had fainted, and she slowly got to her paws. "I'm…I feel like I fell asleep…"

"You fainted," said Bumblestripe. He hesitated, but their Clan-mates had noticed, too. "We're going to see Jayfeather."

Ivypool wanted to protest, but her mate was incredibly persistent, and effectively so because he was so wonderful, so she followed him wearily. Jayfeather looked up upon their entrance, as if sensing her instantly.

"Bumblestripe!" Briarlight had noticed them, too. "And Ivypool!" Her tone darkened slightly – Ivypool knew that Briarlight was far more perceptive than she seemed. She knew that there was no way of dispelling Briarlight's dislike for her, but that was a matter for another time. It wasn't as if she could tell Briarlight that she had no intention for hurting her brother. He was, according to the Ivypool everyone of importance saw, a cover.

"Ivypool was helping rebuild the camp entrance when she just fainted," said Bumblestripe urgently. "I just want to make sure everything is okay."

Ivypool didn't know how to protest, so she let Jayfeather walk in circles around her. He leaned in with a paw to feel her side, and then, perplexed, laid a paw over her chest and belly. Ivypool wanted to shy away, but the medicine cat backed up suddenly. He looked up, a range of emotions going through his features before he finally just looked stunned. That worried Ivypool – Jayfeather didn't usually show emotions. What had surprised him so?

"What is it?" Bumblestripe demanded, seeing the same issue. "Is something wrong?"

"No…not at all," said Jayfeather in a light, confused tone. He shook his head and cleared his face before turning to Ivypool. "Ivypool's…Ivypool is pregnant."

"What?" Bumblestripe gasped out the word, but his voice had faded out. She saw in slow motion that Briarlight and Bumblestripe were talking, and that Jayfeather was explaining something in a low voice, but their tones had been canceled out by the high-pitched ringing in Ivypool's ears. The cats around her spun around in circles with their excitement, but she was glued to the spot, frozen in shock.

How could this be happening? She could imagine Hawkfrost's face going from calm to enraged, imagine his claws coming forth as he leaped for her in impossible fury. It was over. It was over. Having kits meant that she could no longer fight, could no longer lead the troops she was expected to lead. She had no way of protecting her family now, and they would all die. They would all die, and then Mapleshade would laugh and Ivypool would live forever. She didn't want to live forever, not when her life was as hellish as this…

"Ivypool, this is brilliant!" Bumblestripe's eyes brought her back. He seemed just the picture of happiness now: ears perked, tail up and waving, eyes bright as sunbeams. "Ivypool?"

How could she show him that everything was not as alright as he wanted it to be? How could she bear to say that their kits meant more death than life? How could she possibly express that at this very moment, kits were the last thing she wanted. She couldn't be a mother! She was the general of ThunderClan, a tool for Tigerstar to use, and yet here she was, expecting kits.

A new mask came forth, this one stretching her at the seams, but she managed the smile that broke her own heart.

"I'm thrilled," she said as warmly as possible, and she moved forwards to press into her mate's side. She should never have let this happen.

Over Bumblestripe's shoulder, she could see Jayfeather observing quietly.

"Ivypool," he said carefully. She looked at the blind medicine cat, who seemed more attentive than ever. "I'll do anything I can to help you with these kits. You just need to come to me whenever you need anything, okay?"

His tone was so mild that Ivypool took it exactly as he meant it: another promise for protection. In the past, she had refused, but right now, it was over. She had been reaching for a way to end this without bloodshed, and now the game was up. Ivypool knew now that she couldn't do it on her own.

"Thank you, Jayfeather," she said genuinely. "I will definitely take you up on that offer." She let her words be quiet, but Jayfeather's nod of confirmation was still relaxing.

Bumblestripe turned all his attention to her once again.

"We should get you into the nursery right away," he said with enthusiasm. "Oh, Ivypool , this is so exciting!"

Ivypool nodded and let him whisk her away. She remembered very little of the afternoon, for her attention was entirely spent worrying. What would Hawkfrost say in her dreams that night? Would he even want to talk to her? Would he even let her speak to him? She remembered faking some nice words for the appalled queens and settling into the nest Bumblestripe prepared for her. She remembered smiling all evening.

"There," said Bumblestripe, fitting in the final layer of feathers he had found. "Are you comfortable?"

"This is the nicest nest in the world," Ivypool promised him with yet another smile. She was growing tired of smiling, but hopefully it wasn't showing. "Thank you."

"Ivypool, you're going to have our kits," said Bumblestripe regally. "I will do anything for you." He bent close to touch his nose to hers. "I love you very much. Our kits will be so beautiful."

Ivypool nodded, although her heart was clenching in her chest. She forced herself to purr, to look happy, but this mask was way harder to pull on than the other one was.

"He's sweet," said Daisy softly, resting her head on her paws. "You're lucky to have him, Ivypool."

"I don't deserve him," said Ivypool, and her tone was all to serious. She realized that she hadn't done that right, so she laughed lightly. "He's perfect." She tried to get it right, the lovesick sigh, the big eyes of the young queen totally in love with her mate. That part wasn't hard.

"Funny how this works," said Squirrelflight lightly, half-asleep. "I thought Brambleclaw would never forgive me. I'm not good enough for him, either, but he chose me."

They lapsed into small talk and then the silence which enveloped the den as the queens fell asleep. Until it was just Ivypool and Hazeltail awake.

"Are you crazy?" asked Hazeltail quietly. Ivypool looked over at her, shocked. "How could you possibly have kits? Won't…" She looked around, as if they were being watched. "Aren't you supposed to be the leader and all of that?"

Thornclaw is in the Dark Forest to protect her, Ivypool realized after a moment. Of course Hazeltail knows the truth.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Hazeltail," Ivypool said before she could come up with a lie. "I'm scared."

Hazeltail softened instantly, and she tried to give Ivypool the smile that would make it all better – but, of course, it didn't have that effect.

"So am I," she said. "We can take care of each other, right?"

Ivypool agreed with a nod, although her heart clenched again. Hazeltail wouldn't be able to do anything, and Ivypool already had enough cats to save. The promise was empty. She closed her eyes, grateful that the nest Bumblestripe had labored over was in fact the nicest nest in the world. Then she focused on the Dark Forest and forced sleep to take her.

She awoke precisely where she needed to be, and Hawkfrost looked up, appalled, from his shaded conversation-slash-dispute with Brokentail.

"Leave us," he said darkly, and the former ShadowClan cat vanished with a sniff of disapproval. Hawkfrost observed Ivypool furiously. "I didn't call you."

"I came," said Ivypool, forcing herself to be brave. "I…"

"I don't want your excuses," said Hawkfrost, enraged as she had expected. He advanced on her until she could feel the heat of his breath on her face. "I should just rip your kits out of your belly right now and be done with it."

Ivypool swallowed hard, taking a step back as the threat washed over her.

"What the hell do I do with a pregnant general?" he growled.

"I thought…" She gulped. "I thought you would be pleased I was bringing more warriors to the cause."

"Half-kittypet warriors," said Hawkfrost in disgust. He huffed ferociously. "You mated with a disgraceful half-breed! A cover! Hah. You had us all fooled, but no longer."

Ivypool could say nothing. Hawkfrost reeled around.

"Get out," he said. "If you wanted to be saved from the purge, you missed your chance."

Ivypool watched him go, her heart sinking. Then she stood alone in the trees, and tears began to spill from her eyes. She had never let herself cry here, but now…

"Oh, sweetie." All of a sudden, Mapleshade was there. Ivypool flinched away, but the Dark Forest cat only smiled madly. "I know how hard it must be for you. Having little lives to protect."

Ivypool swallowed hard, flinching when Mapleshade rested a hand on Ivypool's slightly swollen belly. But she couldn't find it in her to move away. Not anymore. Why bother?

"It's a bad idea to get on Hawkfrost's bad side now," said Mapleshade, her eyes flashing. "He'll destroy you."

"What do I do?" asked Ivypool in a quiet voice. Mapleshade tilted her head back and laughed.

"I'll talk to Hawkfrost," she said. "Keep coming back – prove to Hawkfrost that you'll do anything to stay his general. I think he's bitter at your betrayal, more so than anything else. And then you'll have to prove your loyalty."

"How do I do that?" asked Ivypool.

"We'll see," said Mapleshade with a wicked grin. "Don't worry, little queen. It will only hurt for a long, long time."

Ivypool turned away and looked up at the thick layer of trees, willing herself awake. She would do it. She had to do it, or these kits, and Bumblestripe, and everyone else…they would all die.

XXXX

Ivypool, desperate for some fresh air, was sitting outside the nursery. Bumblestripe was beside her, not really saying anything, but he didn't need to. It would just make things more difficult if he did. She was still sorting all of this out, and though it looked hopeless…no, there really was no upside. It was just hopeless. All she had left to do was to take Mapleshade's advice and try and win Hawkfrost back to her side.

"Ivypool!" She looked up to see Doveheart approaching her quickly. Ivypool didn't want this conversation, but Bumblestripe was already greeting Doveheart, so she sat and forced an uneasy smile. Doveheart looked between them, her amber eyes bright.

"Congratulations," purred Doveheart. "Jayfeather just told me. When I found out, I was thrilled." Her eyes met Ivypool's, and Ivypool breathed easy when she saw the acceptance in her sister's face.

"Thank you," said Bumblestripe happily. "I can't wait, either." He purred his satisfaction. Doveheart focused on Ivypool still, her raw enthusiasm softened. She understood the gravity of the situation, too.

"It must be stressful," she said softly. "I can only imagine. I would be freaking out, if I were in your position." At Bumblestripe's confusion, Doveheart went on quickly. "I mean, being a new mother and everything. But you'll be great."

"Thank you, Doveheart," said Ivypool weakly. A new mother. Forget the Dark Forest, she had to worry about being a mother. How would she be able to look down into innocent kit eyes and explain that she was plotting to destroy the Clans? Would they hate her for what she was? She spared a guilty look at Bumblestripe – would he hate her, if he ever heard the truth?

"I hope you're happy," said Doveheart softly. "If you need anything, you can ask me, okay? I know we haven't always gotten along, but…" Doveheart smiled. "You're my litter-mate. I'd do anything to protect you."

Ivypool nodded, hoping that Doveheart knew that the feeling was reciprocated. Not that she could ever say such things out loud - it would be too hard. She had to be on her best behavior for Hawkfrost.

"I'm going to go back inside," she said to Bumblestripe as Doveheart took her leave.

"Let me make sure you're comfortable," said Bumblestripe in his earnest way, and he followed her inside. Ivypool nestled in to the soft bed he had made for her and looked up to thank him, even though his doting was getting a little stifling. Although, what else was there to do? She couldn't fight, she couldn't hunt…

Across the den, Hazeltail gasped out suddenly, and Ivypool sprung to attention.

"What is it?" asked Daisy emphatically. Hazeltail's eyes were wide as the moon.

"My kits!" she cried, stifling a screech. "My kits, they're…"

"Get Jayfeather," said Ivypool, looking up at Bumblestripe. "And…" She remembered that Hazeltail's mate was going to the Dark Forest for her. "Find Thornclaw. Please."

Bumblestripe didn't hesitate another moment, shooting out of the nursery. Ivypool looked to Hazeltail, who gasped once more.

"Hold on, Hazeltail," said Squirrelflight, getting up to take a seat by the grey and white she-cat. "I know, I know it hurts. But Jayfeather's coming."

Just then, the medicine cat burst into the den, looking as calm as ever. Ivypool looked on with wide eyes as he began speaking in a calm voice. Thornclaw came in not much afterwards and hovered behind Hazeltail, whispering encouragement.

"Not much longer now," said Jayfeather as Hazeltail cried out again.

"It hurts," she wailed. "Jayfeather, make it stop, I…" She screamed.

"I know," said Daisy softly. "You can do it Hazeltail."

Ivypool looked on in horror and fascination as the queen let out another cry so piercing it made her wince, but then, to her amazement, she began to see a tiny shape. Jayfeather muttered an instruction, and Hazeltail yowled again, and then there was a kit, all of a sudden, taking form. Suddenly, Jayfeather was turning to Daisy, and the queen took over, her tongue lapping over the fur of the newborn kit. The medicine cat was yelling encouragement now, looking as wild and excited as Ivypool had ever seen. She could just stand there and marvel as another kit appeared, this one thrashing. Jayfeather turned to Ivypool suddenly, and the kit was at her paws.

"Make yourself useful and warm him up," he commanded. Ivypool jerked awake and leaned down, letting her tongue move over the kit. It was the strangest sensation, but suddenly, this was her world. The life of this newborn kit was in her paws, and she would not fail.

"One more, Hazeltail," said Jayfeather quietly. Hazeltail's final cries became background noise as Ivypool devoted her attention to warming up the kit between her paws. She could feel his tiny heartbeat and the raspy breaths he took. Then, just as soon as it had begun, it was over, and Ivypool looked up as Jayfeather steered the kit she was grooming back to his mother.

"Three," said Jayfeather, leaning back in exhaustion. "Two toms and a she-cat. Well done, Hazeltail."

"They're beautiful," moaned Thornclaw, leaning in to marvel at his new family. Hazeltail leaned back against his paws, purring despite her exhaustion.

"I should hope so," she said softly. She glanced over at Ivypool, Daisy, and Squirrelflight. "Thank you all. I'm so…happy."

And she looked it. Ivypool gave a nod, and Hazeltail held her eyes for a moment longer before letting her eyes close. Thornclaw stared down, wide-eyed, at the bundles of fur that squirmed at their mother's belly. He didn't look like a Dark Forest cat then, nor a cat that would dispute that half-blood cats belonged in the Clan. Maybe that was because his mate had almost entirely kittypet blood, but suddenly, he looked normal. The fatherly joy and protection he felt for those kits transcended boundaries. It didn't matter whose side he was on in this great war – what mattered to Thornclaw were the three paw-sized balls of fur that he had helped bring into the world, and their snoozing mother.

Ivypool rested her head on her paws and remembered how she had felt with Hazeltail and Thornclaw's kit in her paws, all beautiful and tiny. She had wanted to protect him, too. It didn't matter whose kit he was, or who he would grow up to be. If Tigerstar had come in at that moment and demanded that she kill the kit, she wouldn't have done it. And she wouldn't give up her own kits, either. There was no way. Because they would be hers, and Tigerstar and all the shadow warriors in the world couldn't take that away from her.

Remember how I said like everyone was getting pregnant over in Sunstrike's Story? (probably not, but I did). Yeah.

Honestly, this is just how the timing of this whole shindig worked out, what with me deciding to open Elemental with a whole bunch of new apprentices. Also, because I honestly forgot about them and decided that they would be too much trouble to write in, we're going to pretend that Whitewing, Briarkit, and Windkit were playing in the camp during this exchange.

So, what did you think? Things are just getting worse and worse for our protagonists, aren't they? Eh, things will come together soon. We're nearing the end of the line, which is a little scary. 14 chapters to go, and the last six or so will probably be released together because climax. So...get pumped, friends! We're in the home stretch now. Or at least I hope it's the home stretch. We're definitely past halfway, and that's nice. :)

~Elsi