~I want to give a shout out to my loyal reader sarahmicaela88. She gave me the idea for this chapter title with her review.

Chapter 44: Separation Anxiety

Jacob peeked in the room. He did it every night just to inhale their scents and for a few seconds of peace, since it was rare to find it anywhere else, currently. It had been five nights since one of his best nights turned into his worst. He knew he came to a truce with Bella and that it was important for her to see him, but he'd done his best to make excuses to avoid her. He couldn't stop remembering those flashes in Jared's mind when he was on the phone with Rachel and she said, "Bella's gone."

The unknown didn't even last for five full minutes, but it felt like a hundred years when he experienced it second hand. He heard her excuses and he was damn proud of how she took care of things even though Jacob hadn't told her that part yet. She saved those boys from a frightening ordeal, theirs included, but he still couldn't forget her recklessness. She was born for this duty, leading the pack with him, but there were limitations. He could admit she was by far the strongest women he'd ever known and he loved that about her, but strong human versus vampire would always have the same outcome. Human is no match. If only one of those creatures had been looming a tiny bit further to the south, Bella could have been swept away in an instant.

However far they'd come, they still had issues to work through. He knew that, but the guys were running him ragged, not to mention how much extra stress he was under with the demands of beefing up security. Jacob was jumping in on every patrol, day and night. He was exhausted and he needed to be in better condition to sort things out with Bells.

When he was tired, he got irritable and he was done snapping at her. He might still inadvertently be giving her the cold shoulder, but he was attempting to correct that. At least, she was safe at Sue's. He suggested she and Ace move over there. Embry was staying with Leah who was back to normal. That meant two wolves were in the house most of the time, plus the three he kept on patrol were always nearby. Renee was staying at Billy's in Embry's old room. She'd been a handful for Bells from the stories he'd heard. She was finally accepting it, but his father said she was sleeping a lot. Bella still wanted her to visit with Carlisle. He thought maybe by the first of next week, they could all spare some time for an appointment. He was anxious for Bella to also have an exam and give up a little blood as well as hear why Carlisle suspected this Italian bloodsucker was so hellbent on acquiring her.

As it stood now, everyone lived back on the res. He hated to do it to Seth and Amelia, but they were working out something with their professors and hopefully, Seth would still earn his diploma even if it was delayed. Collin and Barry were back at the old cabin too.

Jacob phased in at the end of a patrol shift. Ever since the Sunday night trip into hell, the entire region had been completely calm. That worried him even more. He went through a few instructions and down the checklist. Next week, they would attempt at getting a few things back to normal. He'd kept all the kids out of school and day care but agreed they couldn't keep that up. Pretty much, no one was going to work and everybody was under house arrest so to speak. He knew that couldn't last either. He promised Bells no concrete towers, no glass houses. She chose to stay human to live and he was going to prove to her, they had a full life ahead of them.

Ashley had been blowing up his phone begging him to come back to work. She told him to wear a mask, that she wasn't afraid of catching whatever he had, that she was fully vaccinated. He negotiated possibly coming in some the next week with limited hours, preferably in the evenings when no one else was around. He moved back an appointment with the lawyer also. He was plenty surprised since he knew how badly Jacob wanted to move forward with the divorce. He hoped it didn't send a mixed signal with Kaleigh, but it was not possible to drive up to Seattle at the moment.

As soon as Jacob was satisfied the guys had it covered, he decided to head back to the house to grab the three essentials: food, a shower and three hours of sleep. Quil stepped in his way just as Jacob made it out of the woods. He had just gotten off patrol and Jacob had at least a ten minute conversation with during that shift change.

"What's up? You miss something?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to cause a scene, but you and I need to talk."

Great. Jacob was sure to hear another round of drama about how Zane was a punk and he needs to order him to stay away from Claire. Jacob already said a big fat no to that. Sam tried that shit with him and it only fueled the anger.

"Man, not now, I'm beat. The kid's doing better. Jared promised to be his mentor. Let it go. He hasn't even seen her yet."

"That wasn't what I was going to say, but since you brought it up, he's contacted her plenty and you have to admit he is a pain in the ass, one of our worst." Quil was partially right, Zane had quite the mouth on him for a newbie and a damn kid. It was no secret, he sure as hell did not like Quil. He thought this imprinting stuff was bullshit. He was even disappointed about Jared and Kim, he always thought they were merely a great couple and he admired them. His father split when he young and his mother worked a lot to get her business going, so they were pretty much his role models for years.

"What do you want me to do and when are you going to move past it? You knew this day would come, didn't you? Claire's growing up. More importantly, Zane is now your brother like all the rest of us."

Quil grumbled after hearing that remark. He also reminded Jake what it was like right after the phase. "All that damn testosterone and adrenaline is fucking flooding your veins day and night. We all experienced it. You can't wait to kill a bloodsucker even if you're terrified and aren't sure how. When you aren't thinking about that, you're thinking about fucking, anyone will do. I made some of my worst decisions after I phased. Lest we forget Paul and his nightly manwhoring until he reconnected with Rach. Brady was terrible and even Collin plowed through half the girls at the res school when we all knew, he preferred boys."

"I wasn't fucking around. I controlled myself."

"Ha! That's because you're a stubborn son a bitch and you were a hold out for Bella and then she was your secret imprint so no chance were you going to fuck around. Don't forget, I was in your mind and you were thinking about the possibility of sex with her all the damn time. That little twat, Zane better not be thinking about Claire like that, she's still a kid. Did you know that fucker already stole her first kiss?"

"Dammit, Quil, she's in the 8th grade. I'm sure he didn't steal it. Kim and Emily have this covered with all the do's and don'ts and about being safe."

"Safe? Have you lost your damn mind, Black? Don't even go there. She's not ready."

"I agree with you there and I also have faith in Claire. She's smart and very mature. This is an innocent relationship, more like a first crush. Forgive the pun, but I'm sure it's only puppy love and won't even go on much longer. I need your focus, but your emotions are all over the place. Why don't you and Brady take a night off soon and blow off steam like you used to, only now Embry won't be joining you. That's more women for you guys though."

"You mean, I should get laid?"

Jacob shrugged. That was pretty much what he meant by blowing off steam.

"Can I tell you some top secret shit, and it stays between just the two of us?"

"Sure, sure. Shoot."

"I had it all figured out before. I knew who I was, I enjoyed my freedom. I knew what Claire was to me and she was a joy. I was happy to be there for her. Her mom hasn't been there for her since she was an infant, basically. I was damn good at being what she needed, the spirits did right."

"Agreed." After the initial shock of what happened to Quil, the pack all began to see the changes and even though he was still crazy, fun-loving Quil, he had a lot more drive and purpose in his life.

"This fucking re-phase changed me. I don't regret it, I'd do it again and again for Bella, you know we all love her and Ace, but I can't get back to how I used to be, no matter how hard I try. Jake, I haven't been with a woman in months. You have no idea how frustrating that can be for a guy like me."

Jacob tried not to strain his eyes when he rolled them back in his head. Quil was preaching to the choir. He knew plenty about frustration. He was honestly relieved to have his leg sliced open because it took the focus off his aching nuts. After hearing Quil's confession, he sensed he wasn't the only one with complications.

"Why, man? Elaborate, are you trying and striking out or are you just bored with flings? Maybe you should think about settling down."

"I've tried, but something's not working right anymore." Jacob glanced downward. "Not that, buttmunch. You know what I mean, emotions and shit."

"Who the hell are you kidding? You were never into chicks because of emotions, you were there for the pussy."

Quil had seat on the ground and roughly pulled his fingers through his hair. He basically cried out a noise of frustration. "What if he's right?"

"Who?"

"That damn kid, he called me a perv."

Jacob suspected they were about to cross over into uncharted territory. "Quil, have your feelings for Claire changed?"

"No, but yes, I don't know, maybe a little. Can I explain myself before you turn me into Charlie and have me put on some kind of damn sex offender list."

"You're not a sex offender, but it's obvious you're confused as hell."

"I still see her the same, a kid, but it's weird because she doesn't smell like bubble gum and daisies. I can't remember the last time I had a plastic cup in the window with one of her living presents. I used to love getting things like that from her grimy fingers. Those nails are never filthy anymore, half the time she paints them in pretty colors, plus she's wearing makeup now and dressing different. Also, she has a certain scent that I can only describe as feminine. I see the way you're looking at me Jake. I swear, I'm not being creepy. She and I used to be so relaxed, like family. Now, I find myself backing up an inch or two, giving her different types of hugs because I don't want it to get weird. She's oblivious, still acts like I'm her big doofus brother, I'm the one that's changing and I'm trying not to."

Jacob was honest, he never thought this day would come and he still wasn't convinced what Quil was starting to worry about was actually happening. He tried to make him feel better. "I think right now, we're all over-worked, exhausted, and not thinking straight half the time. I forget, since my own life has been such a roller coaster that I set into motion, that the rest of you have done a major 180 as well. I turned your lives upside down when I asked you to rejoin the pack. It's a major mindfuck. I think things will settle back down to normal with Claire eventually. I know you love her and always will but it's never been like the other imprints and I doubt that would change overnight. You're having trouble with her approaching womanhood. It happens to most dads and that's probably all it is. You're not weird or a perv or any of that shit. I won't tolerate Zane disrespecting you. I'll have another chat with him. This is going to get better." Maybe Bella's idea, Quil and Monica meet was for the best. He needed a distraction, but Jake wasn't going to mention the possible setup considering the mood he was in.

Quil said he appreciated what he said and hoped he was right. He wanted Jacob to understand he wasn't thinking anything inappropriate. "It's just for the first time ever, I find myself thinking about five years from now. I'm wondering if it's possible that things will change when she truly is a woman. I can honestly say, it never crossed my mind before, but now it does and I'm afraid and I don't even know why." He held his hands up over his head and yelled out in the night, "Curse you, damn spirits! Why me? I'm the pack clown. I'm the screw up. I'm not qualified for this type of responsibility."

"Quil, relax and unless you want everyone else to know, stop yelling at the stars. It's going to work out. I trust your judgment."

"Since when?" he said sarcastically. "Do you still trust me when I admit that the thought of Zane's grubby paws on my imprint makes we want to do grave bodily harm on him?"

Fuck. This was more complicated than he first thought, but he assured Quil that he did.

Jacob really needed some damn sleep but his friend needed him more. He'd basically poured his guts out and that was not the easiest conversation for either of them. He decided to invite him out back for a beer. They went inside, grabbed the beers out of the fridge and headed out to the screened in porch. They were out there maybe ten minutes before Paul joined them.

"Nice way to exclude me, dipshits."

"I thought you went to bed already, grab one and have a seat." Quil squinted his eyes at Jacob. He was making sure they were going to steer into a different conversation, not the one that revolved around his confusing feelings about being imprinted to Claire.

Paul joined them. "I thought so too, but Rach has a headache and you know how that's a mood killer. I'll shoot the shit with you two losers tonight since none of us are getting any action. To tell you the truth, she's been wearing me out since our brush with death, my dick could use a night off."

"Hey, I've got an idea to pass the time. I'll finish my beer and then bust this empty bottle over your head since you believe it's okay to bring up your sex life with my sister in front of me. It might be fun to see how much you bleed."

Paul chuckled and Quil clinked his bottle with his. "Damn, bro. I miss this. Why'd we all grow up and get so many responsibilities? That fucking sucks."

"True dat," Quil agreed.

"Speaking of bleeding, I never knew someone could bleed so much and not die. That was a deep cut, bro and you were fading fast until that fierce blonde bitch clamped down on your leg. I think she has a thing for you if you want my opinion. She was awfully close to the goods. Did that finally stop bothering you?"

"None of your business and about Blondie, gross, that's disgusting. Don't ever repeat that shit again. I thought I issued a direct order, no one is talk about the injuries, especially mine. I don't want Bells, or Rach or even Dad to hear about it, you got me?"

"No problem, mum's the word," then he did a zipping motion across his lips.

Jake asked who wanted another beer, so they all got seconds. Paul found some food in the fridge which he said might be off limits but they were all starving so he was willing to take the risk. "She either said I could have this or I better not, it was for her mom's group party or something. Who the hell knows? I wasn't paying attention."

They all dug into the casserole which suspiciously looked like it was wrapped up to be transported someplace the following day. Jacob would be gone when Rachel woke up so Paul could take the brunt of her fury. It wouldn't be the first time they all fucked up something in the kitchen.

It didn't take long before the other two started in on him. "Why you sleeping over here on the lumpy couch in the wee morning hours everyday, Black?"

"Because I don't want to sleep outside and I have to sleep a few hours a night at least."

"Bullshit. We all know what you skipped out on that night when the legion of Italian doom descended upon us. You're in, like literally. She let you back in, why are you avoiding Bella? I bet three hours next to your mate would be a helluva lot more restful than an entire night on that old beat up sofa. Trust me, I've been banished to it countless times, it sucks. Rachel keeps bugging me to take her shopping for a new one."

"Paul's right, this is why I wanted to talk tonight in the first place."

"Oh really, because you didn't bring me up once out there if I remember correctly."

"That's because you reminded me of other important topics I needed to get off my chest."

Paul's curiosity was peaked. "Like what? Sounds juicy, spill Ateara."

Quil and Jacob said in unison, "Nothing!"

"Jesus, you don't have to yell, keep it down, my kids are sleeping. Back to Black and how he's afraid of Bella."

"I'm not afraid."

They both gave him the yeah right look.

"Let me clarify. I'm not afraid of Bells. I want to be over there with her more than anything, but I am afraid of what we saw. I doubt either of you have forgotten so soon. That was the fight of our lives, so much worse than a herd of newborns when we were teenagers. I've never been more afraid of failing her."

"So you push her away, instead of expressing how you're feeling. How's that working for ya?"

"Not so great. I want to talk about it, but I'm not in the right frame of mind just yet."

"Jake, I know you're pissed about her going out in the storm and that she called the ex but she did her job. Seriously, no one told her what to do. We didn't have contingency plans for that type of emergency, but Bella knew somehow and she didn't hesitate. She kicked ass!"

"I'm not pissed about her calling Edward. I'm pissed because we desperately needed him and I don't see how I'm ever getting rid of him completely until the king of the vamps is destroyed. Bella took a risk I asked her not to. You felt what those minutes did to me. Emb basically took over those tense moments, I was frozen with fear, practically ready to abandon my pack in the worst of times. She needs to be more careful."

The guys were quick to point out that if one of those leeches had broken ranks and slipped away or they were a decoy to keep the pack occupied, it wouldn't have mattered where Bella was if one went after her. "She could be in the house, in the car, in an underground shelter, wherever, they could've gotten to her if that was the mission. I think it's obvious, it wasn't about that this time."

"Fuck off, Lahote. How's that supposed to make me feel better? You're basically reminding me I can't protect her."

"No, I just think we need to be better. We weren't fully prepared that time, but next time we will be. You've already made a bunch of changes in that direction. Stop replaying the failures of that evening over and over, it's not helping any of us."

"And stop pushing Bella away. You're acting like a dumb shit, Alpha. Didn't you learn your lesson by marrying Kaleigh out of spite?" Jacob was giving Quil a damn dirty look after how much support he'd just given him before Paul joined in. Now, they were ganging up on him relentlessly. "I'm speaking for all of us. We had a meeting you didn't know about and I drew short straw to deliver the message. The pack can't move forward and strengthen until the two of you straighten things out."

"Ditto and for fuck's sake, can you please seal the deal and stop all this start and stop shit? My balls hurt reliving these moments when you let stuff slip into your subconscious. Tell her you're an ass, beg forgiveness, fuck her thoroughly and mark her again. Why am I the only one that makes sense around this place? I have used these techniques with Rach countless times, minus the marking, once was enough, but I think your wolf wants a turn."

Jacob stood up, drained his second beer as he stepped closer to Paul. He held the bottle over his head. He was tempted, but Paul made a lot of sense tonight.

"Please don't hit me, bro. I'm only trying to help."

Jacob handed him the empty bottle to avoid the temptation. He squeezed his shoulder probably harder than he should. "I'm going to shower and hopefully crash an hour. Thanks for tonight, both of you. I get what you're saying and I swear I'm going to think about it. Goodnight."

He did like he promised Quil and Paul, Jacob thought about how he was going to approach Bella almost all day, but in the end, he let the time slip away again. Once more, he was skulking the hallway at Sue's late at night. He slowly twisted the knob of her door. Jacob was going to stick his head in long enough for a quick look. His eyes focused on his son first, but when he glanced at the bed, something looked off. He moved inside the room a step. Although her scent was strong, Bella wasn't in the bed. She'd piled pillows in the middle to look like she was sleeping but she clearly was missing.

He had about three seconds of sheer panic before he turned around desperate to find her. She might be in the bathroom but why do the pillow charade? That made no sense. Jacob looked down the hall and saw the bathroom door open and no one was there. He heard Embry and Leah in the next bedroom doing their thing and Charlie was with Sue. He tiptoed closer and they appeared asleep, thank God. He didn't want to hear the parents doing things. He had one sole focus and that was finding Bells. She would not leave Ace willingly so he was nearing the point of stepping outside and doing a distress howl. There was no reeking leech smells but he was still completely shaken she was missing.

He got to the open area of the living room and gave it a shot, "Bells... where are you?"

A light flicked on in the corner. She looked like a ghost standing behind the floor lamp when it lit her up. He was flooded with relief. Bella wasn't taken or missing, she was just hiding... in a corner... in the dark. Uh, oh. She was pissed.

She turned the lamp back off and met him in the middle of the room. "Oh, so now you're looking for me?"

Jacob stuttered, "Um... well, yeah, it's late and I... well, you know, I... "

"You peek in on us at night. Yes, I've noticed, but during the day, I rarely catch a glimpse of you. This stops now, Jake. Sit down!" She was tiny, but she easily backed him into the couch. He felt like he had no choice but to sit.

"I'm sorry, I was going to come by today, but I got tied up."

Bella plopped right down in his lap. She straddled his legs. "I wish I was strong enough to tie you up, because I most definitely would. Stop avoiding me. We are going to sit here and work this out if it takes all damn night. I thought you loved me."

Jacob brought his hands to her waist. "Of course, I love you, honey. I'm sorry, there's no excuse for the way I've been acting. The longer I waited to talk, the easier it was to chicken out. You're right, we should talk, but I'm going to need you to move off of me because ever since you mentioned tying me up, I stopped thinking straight and I need to focus." She slipped out of his lap and sat next to him.

"Better?"

"Yes and no," he slipped his arm around her and she started the water works. "Jeez, Bells, don't cry. I hate it when I make you cry."

"Then stop doing stupid shit that makes me sad."

"I'm sorry. You go first. Tell me anything you need to get off your chest."

"I had a whole speech planned out, but now that we're here, I forgot. Can you please hold me for a while and then we'll talk later?"

Jacob wrapped his arms around her and Bella melted into him. He kissed the top of her head. He couldn't remember why he chose to avoid her for almost a week, because honestly there was no place on earth he'd rather be.

~Thanks for reading.

Some of you also read on Tricky Raven. I was sad to get the notice the site will shut down soon. It was because of their weekly prompt that I even started this story which has turned into a bit of an obsession for me if I'm completely honest. Currently, all my stories are housed either here or TR. I don't have plans to move my work or add them to any other sites currently. I have been asked in several reviews about my other stories. This will most likely be my final multi-chapter fanfic. I would love to go back and finish the other ones, but I can't promise that right now. I just hope this one continues to engage and entertain my faithful readers. Thanks so much for your continued support.