The snow crunched under my feet as the cold bit at my skin. Shuddering slightly I pulled my coat closer towards me and rubbed my hands together, blowing on them, trying to get some warmth flowing. The sudden unexpected weather had come in last night and I had a suspicious feeling it had something to do with the Capitol. I didn't put it past them to be able to control the weather at some degree. It felt like they were preparing us for something. For what, I wasn't sure.
My entire world was grey, the bleakest colour on the spectrum. There was a tugging feeling in my gut, as if something major was about to happen. It had my nerves on edge and I couldn't stop the twitching of my fingers as I strode into the heart of District 7, intent on buying a fresh loaf of hot bread.
There were people milling about and I struggled against the rising irritation I felt against them. They were literally standing in the middle of the streets while the snow whirled against them, doing nothing to try and get to cover. I shook my head at a woman who was shivering from the cold, feeling no sympathy, and hurried to the baker's shop. The smell emanating from this store was indescribable. It smelt like happiness and love rolled into one. A grin formed on my face.
Food.
I stepped into the warm bakery and closed my eyes, letting out a quick sigh. It was perfect in here. It was quiet except for the background noise of the TV that was hanging on the wall behind the counter. Still smiling, I went over to the display case that was showing off all the wonderful delicacies and delights. There were loaves of hot bread everywhere. And cakes. Beautiful cakes that had been decorated with all sorts of intricate designs. My eyes wandered over the different colours; red, blue, black. Suddenly I spotted a small cupcake hiding behind what looked like a wedding cake (maybe for the Capitol) which had a Mockingjay design iced on the top. Anger rose in my veins like wildfire and I gritted my teeth. How was this allowed in a baker's shop? How have they not been caught and flogged by now? This was definitely against the rules.
"Johanna! What a lovely surprise!" I looked up to see Mr Lockman (the owner of the store) smiling with all his teeth. I returned it albeit slightly thin lipped. "I haven't seen you in here in a long time."
"Yeah, well, I figured it was time to buy another loaf of Mr Lockman's famous hot bread," I replied, looking back down at the discriminating cupcake. I hesitated. "Mr Lockman… you do know that you could get into a lot of trouble for that pastry, right?" The smile on the elderly man's face disappeared as he leaned over the counter to see which one I was talking about.
"Ah," was all he said. I stared at him.
"You're supporting something that could potentially start an all-out riot," I pointed out bluntly. "Katniss Everdeen is a trouble maker." Mr Lockman gave me a piercing look to which I frowned at.
"I'm surprised at you Miss Mason. I thought you of all people would second the rebellion against the Capitol." My eyebrows shot up and slight fear raised its ugly head.
"Mr Lockman! Keep your voice down!" I hissed glancing over my shoulder. There was one other person in the store near the back, eating a sandwich. He didn't appear to have heard but I couldn't take any chances.
"Don't worry about him. He's deaf as a post," Mr Lockman waved a hand.
"You know the Capitol has other ways of finding out their information!" my voice was getting slightly high and I struggled to bring it back down. "Especially about this. President Snow will be seeking out anyone supporting this… this rebellion."
"The Games have made you afraid Johanna. I remember when you would have done anything to take a shot against the Capitol."
His words felt like a bullet to the chest. Icy anger and fear spread throughout my veins so that my heart was racing. I was…hurt by what he said. Leaning over the counter, I got so close to the man's face I could feel his warm breath against my skin. I mustered the most deadly glare I could and jabbed him in the chest over his white apron.
"Why don't you try being forced to kill five people in cold blood?" I growled as lowly as I could. "Then, and only then, can you tell me my fear isn't justified." I let go of him and stepped back, taking a deep breath. Mr Lockman's face was passive.
"I would be angry-"
I turned on him again, the rage at boiling point.
"You don't think I'm not!? I would love to see those bastards taken down but I've experienced firsthand at what they can do! We have no chance! Katniss Everdeen will be dead by the end of the Third Quarter Quell. Mark my words."
The shock on the man's face was evident and I smirked internally, feeling satisfaction soften the anger slightly. He knew my words were right. The only problem with these damn people was that they latched onto whatever hope they could, but never actually do anything about it. This rebellion could work but only if everybody joined together as one. There was no way the Capitol would be able to bomb every district. And I knew that there was also no way that President Snow could let Katniss Everdeen live. She was too dangerous.
"You have to have hope Johanna." I looked at Mr Lockman's face and saw such earnest truth there that I found it difficult to keep my eyes on his. He believed this so truly that I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for him because I knew the truth. Things were never getting any better than this.
"Am I supposed to let Katniss Everdeen be my beacon of light?" I asked sarcastically.
"If not her, then who?"
That stopped me in my tracks. If not her, then who? He was right to some degree. I didn't see anybody else standing up to the Capitol. But then I realised that Katniss Everdeen wasn't standing up to the Capitol. She was just fighting for her own life. The bullshit love story that they had concocted between her and Peeta Mellark was clearly fake. It was clearly to cover their own backsides as they try desperately to get out of the shit hole that they dug themselves in with those damn berries in the arena. Katniss Everdeen was not interested in a rebellion. She was not interested in changing things. She just wanted to keep her life.
This was something I understood well.
If not her, then who?
Me. I will become my beacon of light. Mr Lockman was right. I couldn't hide from the Capitol forever. Especially with this Third Quarter Quell coming up. The Capitol had something brewing. And I was going to stir shit up.
"Me," I said firmly. A knowing smile crept on the man's face as he nodded. That damn baker knew exactly what he was doing the entire time!
"There's the Johanna I was looking for."
I swallowed sudden emotion and was just about to thank him when the TV behind his head blared the tell-tale Capitol announcement alarm. I felt apprehension as we both turned cautiously to the screen. My palms were sweaty.
Caesar Flickerman once again appeared into view, his hair still a deep purple. Just like last night, he had an unnerving grin adorned on his face and I closed my eyes momentarily, knowing they were about to announce something big. Something that would affect our lives drastically.
"Good morning districts of Panem!" There was applause. "We have an extremely important announcement to make that involves the Third Quarter Quell!" More applause. "For those who don't know the Quells mark the anniversaries of the districts' defeat and that is cause for special celebrations!"
I was livid.
Caesar Flickerman suddenly put his hand to his ear as if he was getting interference. The smile never left his face.
"Change of plans people! This announcement will be broadcasted by the President himself!" The applause was deafening and I fought the sudden nausea. There was a moment of silence when the image of our President was projected on the screen. Every nerve in my body fought to flee when my eyes set on this evil man. He was small, thin, with paper-white hair and thick lips that seem pulled across his face. They looked like they had been altered to make them more appealing but I only felt disgust for this human being. This was the man that forced me to kill.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Now we honour our Third Quarter Quell on the 75th anniversary as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the capitol," Snow reached for an envelope and opened it. "The male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."
My heart broke. I felt my very soul snapping in half as those words cut through me like a knife. Tears pooled in my eyes as I felt the need to scream. I wanted to die. I wanted to escape.
I was going back into the arena.
This was the ultimate blow. This was President Snow sending a message to Katniss Everdeen that no matter what she tried, she would fail. Murderous rage flared inside of my chest.
President Snow would not get away with this.
I was aware of Mr Lockman's eyes on me. I looked at the man and saw the pity and shock there. Clenching my fists, I gave him a thin smile.
"Don't worry Mr Lockman. The rebellion is about to begin," I vowed.
"Here, take this," he handed me a loaf of steaming hot bread in a bag. "Free of charge." I felt such gratitude that I was worried I would start crying again. I took the bag and thanked him.
"Things are going to change around here!" I said loudly before exiting the shop and heading into the cold. Everybody in district 7 had seen the announcement and all eyes were on me. Everybody knew I was going back into the Games as I was the only female victor in this district.
As I headed to my home, head held high, hands warm from the bread, I couldn't help but wonder how Katniss Everdeen was feeling at this moment.