Breezepelt has a really sad story. I feel honored to be able to tell all of it. 3

Please enjoy, and remember that I do not own Warriors!

Chapter 33

Jayfeather

Before there is peace, blood will spill blood, and the lake will run red. ~Sunrise

His pawsteps thundering down the hill, the blood sloshing in his ears, and the knots twisting and compounding in his chest were all that Jayfeather could feel. All around him, he could hear and feel and taste the horrors: the cats that in any other case he would have stopped to help. Now he only had one goal. A distant part of his mind told him that this was all too irrational, that he should just go back to Leafpool and Willowshine and the others. He was a medicine cat, not a warrior – that had been his path all along, even if he hadn't originally wanted it. Jayfeather could taste the scent of his half-brother in the air, and he pressed forward on that thought. The jealous and infuriated vibrations of his heart made him taste blood, and then he thirsted only for the vengeance he would feel when his jaws sunk into Breezepelt's throat. For far too long had he been letting this cat get in his way, and now Breezepelt had taken Cinderheart's life, too? No more. It ended today.

He was shot out of his sprint from the side, and the sound of sadism and laughter brought Jayfeather to his paws again. His mind cleared suddenly, and the object of his hatred stood across from him.

"Looking for someone, blind medicine cat?" sneered Breezepelt. "Oh, was that insensitive? Perhaps I should ask if you were sniffing for someone?"

"This ends now, Breezepelt," said Jayfeather, and he lunged without guidance. Breezepelt's scent was in one place, and then Jayfeather gasped as stinging claws hit the side of his ear.

"Look at you, lumbering around like a badger kit," said Breezpelt in a sneer. Jayfeather heard the pounding of his pawsteps, and he spun to the side, only to feel claws rake down his other side. Jayfeather staggered, glaring into his palate of grey.

"Jayfeather, what are you doing?" Yellowfang's voice was nearby. "You shouldn't be fighting."

"I fight for what I need to fight for," snarled Jayfeather, and he leaped towards Breezepelt's scent, but true to his name, landing a hit on WindClan tom was like catching air, and Jayfeather yowled as tough teeth sunk into his scruff and shook him. He flew through the air for a moment before falling hard.

"Too slow," said Breezepelt tauntingly. "You cannot fight. What are you hoping to achieve here?"

Jayfeather! As Hollyleaf's scent wound around him, Jayfeather gasped out and regained vision in a startling moment. His half-brother was standing before him, a fresh gash bleeding from his left cheek and his dark fur matted and glossy with blood at the front. Hissing, Jayfeather lashed his tail and leaped. He flickered between sight and sightlessness, but a moment came clear, and he kicked Breezepelt as the Dark Forest general turned and laughed. Surprised, Breezepelt took a few heartbeats to regain his balance.

"Your fight is not here," said Yellowfang, going to stand between them. She glared back and forth at the brothers, but Jayfeather stared through her. He could smell Cinderheart's scent still fresh on Breezepelt; thinking of her, he let his claws dig into the ground, and he crouched.

"You look like a green apprentice," said Breezepelt with a harsh chuckle.

"Jayfeather, look out!" cried Yellowfang, but before he could react, Jayfeather's paws were swept out from under him and a heavy weight smashed into his side, knocking him over. Jayfeather mewled, and Hollyleaf's shaded spirit cried out. Jayfeather lost sight.

You can do this! He didn't know why he could feel his sister so present, or why he couldn't see her, but her voice gave him strength, and sight flickered back for a moment too late as Brokenstar's outstretched claws came down over his face. Jayfeather rolled on impact, and Yellowfang helped him up.

"I couldn't help but get involved," said Brokenstar with a laugh. "It's too tempting to destroy a little fly like you."

"Brokenstar, stop," said Yellowfang. "If you want to get to Jayfeather, you'll have to come through me."

"I'm terrified, mother," spat Brokenstar, and Yellowfang flinched. Jayfeather turned up to his StarClan guide, and seeing the mixed feelings on her face, he made up his mind and lunged arbitrarily. He got a moment of surprise on Brokenstar and landed one pawstrike, but then the former ShadowClan leader kicked out and sent Jayfeather flying. Breezepelt caught him, and Jayfeather lost sight as his half-brother's claws rained down on his exposed underbelly.

"Killed your little mate, did I?" sneered Breezepelt, digging his teeth into the loose fur around Jayfeather's neck and shaking him slightly. Jayfeather flailed with his paws, but Breezepelt had utter control. "She didn't matter."

"I'll make you pay for hurting Cinderheart," said Jayfeather, and one of his pawstrikes made contact. The smell of stars and deathberries wove around him and lifted the film from his eyes, and Jayfeather saw his opening. He shifted all his weight to one side and pulled Breezepelt down with him. The black tom yelped in surprise as they rolled, and Jayfeather thrashed out to kick them apart. Slowly, he rose, facing Breezepelt.

"I'll kill you," said Jayfeather. "You don't deserve to keep living."

"Oh, yes, judge me," said Breezepelt through a sneer. "You like everyone else. I thought for a little bit that you would be different, but you're just like the rest of them."

The tone was harsh, the words vulnerable, but before Jayfeather could react or even feel surprised, Brokenstar rammed into his side again, carrying him sideways.

"No!" Then Yellowfang knocked her son out of the air, pinning him down. Jayfeather glared at Breezepelt for a long moment, seeing the shivering anger and hate in Breezepelt's eyes. He heard Yellowfang cry out as Brokenstar scored his claws down her side. Then, with the quickest decision of his life, he turned and rammed into Brokenstar, sending him off of Yellowfang. Hollyleaf slipped away from him and returned, bringing with her presence sight.

Let me help, said Hollyleaf as Jayfeather stood between Brokenstar and Yellowfang. Look closely. He favors his right.

Jayfeather wanted to look around for Hollyleaf, but at that moment, Brokenstar lunged.

Feint left! He did as Hollyleaf instructed, and when Brokenstar turned to see him, Jayfeather saw his opening and kicked with his hind-legs, sending him hard into Yellowfang.

Good work, said Hollyleaf. Brokenstar hissed, turning back to glare at Jayfeather.

"You'll pay for this, you mangy-pelted medicine cat. Your shadow guide, too." Jayfeather wondered briefly what he was talking about, but then Yellowfang grabbed Brokenstar by the side of the neck and pinned him.

"Your quarrel is with me, Brokentail!" hissed Yellowfang. It took Jayfeather a moment, but then he lunged in unison with Yellowfang. The former medicine cat dug her teeth into Brokenstar's throat just as the current medicine cat scored his claws down Brokenstar's belly. Brokenstar let out a scream as if he was dying a thousand times all at once, and then he vanished. Yellowfang looked up with a gasp, her eyes glazing over.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and then she, too vanished.

"What in StarClan's name did you do?" hissed Breezepelt, who had watched the whole thing with wide, angry eyes. Jayfeather felt his vision flicker away and back again. He didn't know what was going on, but he didn't care.

"I killed him," said Jayfeather. His sides were beginning to hurt, and his head was spinning from some sort of strange power that he didn't quite understand.

Are you sure about this? Hollyleaf whined. He's our brother.

Jayfeather glanced around for his littermate once more and didn't see her. But he was sure. He felt bitter about the whole thing now, not so rage-filled as he had before. It didn't matter. If this battle was to end, Breezepelt had to die. Either that or be outcast by his Clan. It was only fitting that Jayfeather's claws would do the final blow.

I'll be with you, promised Hollyleaf. Until the end.

He thanked her without speaking as Breezepelt lunged for him. Jayfeather saw his movements and danced to the side, but Breezepelt revolved, reaching for Jayfeather's forepaw with his jaws snapping. Jayfeather feinted too slowly, and Breezepelt whipped him as if he was a piece of prey. Jayfeather snapped onto his back, and pain rushed through him as Breezepelt leaped back onto him and pressed his shoulders into the ground.

"You shouldn't have been born," spat Breezepelt, digging his claws into Jayfeather's shoulders. Jayfeather felt a brand of white-hot pain dizzy him as his muscles strained to bear the blow. "How fitting that I should be the one to kill you."

Jayfeather stared at him, thinking of the way his pelt still smelled of blood that was certainly Cinderheart's.

You can't give up, said Hollyleaf. It isn't your time yet!

Her wails resounded inside his temples, and Jayfeather took a deep breath. He had been struggling with Breezepelt for moons upon moons, since the moment they found out that they were related. That was how Breezepelt had fallen, deep down into the darkness that entirely composed him at this point. He was nothing more than a shadow cat himself.

"Are you afraid?" said Breezepelt, his breath hot and still reminiscent of blood on Jayfeather's muzzle. "Afraid I'll kill you like I did your stupid she-cat? Like I'll do to your entire family?"

"You'll regret all of this one day," said Jayfeather hollowly, staring up at him and seeing him entirely. At least, if this was his last moment, he would see it in the color he had missed his entire life. He drank in Hollyleaf's scent, the one he had missed for so long. He drank in Cinderheart's scent still lingering on Breezepelt's pelt.

"Regret?" spat Breezepelt. "You don't know what regret feels like."

"When you go back to your family, and they all turn you away," spat Jayfeather. "Then you'll know. Then you'll know what it is to hate yourself so violently you –"

"I have no family!"

"That's not what Kestrelflight says," said Jayfeather. He had found a footing. Breezepelt's claws didn't hurt so much now. Maybe it was because Jayfeather had lose so much blood. "Kestrelflight says he delivered your kits a sunrise ago."

For a moment Breezepelt froze, and Jayfeather seized the moment. Hollyleaf whispered a word of encouragement in his head, and Jayfeather pushed him back, throwing him. Breezepelt lay wounded, struggling to his paws, but before he could recover, Jayfeather pinned him with his entire strength and pressed a paw into Breezepelt's throat. The tables turned as Jayfeather pushed, and Breezepelt gasped for air, his amber eyes bulging.

"I'll kill you," said Jayfeather. "You've caused far too much hurt in this world."

"Then do it," wheezed Breezepelt. He panted, struggling hollowly. "Do it!"

You can't do this…Hollyleaf whispered, but Jayfeather was sure.

"All those times you caused misery for everyone around you," Jayfeather said, stabilizing himself. "You attacked Poppyfrost and I for no reason! You turned your own Clan-mates against your leader and killed those that resisted! You've murdered cat after cat, and it's time it stopped."

"And now I sit here under your judgment," said Breezepelt. "I'm not afraid of death, Jayfeather. I welcome it."

"What?" That was a shock. Breezepelt locked his paws around Jayfeather's forepaw, the one pressing down on Breezepelt's throat.

"I've lived in regret my entire life," he said. "All the good things I've ever found have been taken away from me by my own stupid mistakes. And for once…for once if I can do the right thing…"

His voice wavered as he said this, and Jayfeather hissed, not buying the trick.

"I'm being serious," said Breezepelt, his claws digging into Jayfeather's. Jayfeather supposed he could have beaten Jayfeather in an instant. "Jayfeather. If you think I should die, and I think I should die, then why don't I just die?"

It was the first time in a long time that Breezepelt had ever used Jayfeather's name.

Jayfeather…Hollyleaf sat back. I can't make this choice for you.

She was right. By all rights, it should have been an easy choice. Nothing good had come to Breezepelt's life, no happy moments, nothing. His life was darkness, and now he was practically begging for death. He had killed Cinderheart, and even if he regretted it, that didn't take the action away. But could he really unsheathe his claws and perform the deed, even when his half-brother was holding him there? There was something bigger going on here.

"Do it, Jayfeather," said Breezepelt in a soft voice. "I joined him because I thought you and your brother were better than me, and all along I thought I was proving the entire world wrong…but I've been proving them right all along." He shivered, but his deep breath was accompanied with him closing his eyes. "Tell Sunstrike…I…"

Jayfeather stared into his face, and then he closed his eyes and reached out with the power he alone had. He didn't know if it was pity or self-doubt, but he needed to feel this moment. As their minds connected, Jayfeather felt all of the self-hatred, the fear, the pain, the regret…

It was only too easy to unsheathe his claws and lean into the killing blow.

Jayfeather! Hollyleaf screamed, and then she was pulled away from his thoughts, and Jayfeather was falling into nothingness. Somewhere far away, he felt Breezepelt with him. The two brothers tumbled through empty space together. Jayfeather was still holding on, still connecting, but something was happening. This wasn't following Breezepelt to StarClan – were they falling into the Place of No Stars?

He opened his eyes, and he and Breezepelt stood facing each other on a plain of swirling grey and white. Breezepelt looked calmer than ever, his pelt softly blowing with a wind Jayfeather couldn't feel. There was a darkness in his pelt but starlight in his eyes. A few seconds, and Breezepelt laughed.

"Where is this place?" said Jayfeather, breaking Breezepelt's attention away from his odd surroundings.

"I don't know," said Breezepelt. He turned in a circle. "My punishment, I suppose."

"I don't understand," said Jayfeather.

"You don't have to," said Breezepelt coldly. He turned amber eyes to Jayfeather then, his tail alert. "Will you do something for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you didn't have to follow me," said Breezepelt. He shook his head. "This is my burden to bear, not yours. My deal. My game." He laughed bitterly.

"What are you talking about?" said Jayfeather in a low voice.

"I doubt you'll ever see me again," said Breezepelt. "I won't walk in the Place of No Stars, but I won't walk in StarClan either." He looked at the grey-and-white fuzz at his feet, above his head, on all sides of them. "Look at me, Jayfeather. I'm doing something good."

"Breezepelt, what's going on?" Jayfeather said again.

"Will you speak to Sunstrike for me?" he said. Jayfeather was stunned into silence, seeing the desperation in Breezepelt's amber eyes. The black tom stared at him as if Jayfeather was the last cat he would ever see. "I need you to tell her that I'm alright. I need you to tell her I love her more than anything else, more than myself. I need you to tell her that I love our kits, too, and that they're beautiful. I was never meant to be a father." He laughed bitterly.

"You are a father now," said Jayfeather.

"I'm dead now," corrected Breezepelt. "But I'll…I'll be alright." He said this with a strangled smile, and Jayfeather shivered at the foreboding there. "But can you just…can you just tell her that she doesn't need to ever worry again? She'll never have to walk in darkness, and the kits will be safe. They'll all be safe. They don't ever need to be involved again." He nodded, proud of himself for something in this declaration. "Will you tell her?"

"I…" Jayfeather nodded hollowly. "What have you done?"

"I'm protecting her," said Breezepelt. "And I'll be fine."

"What is this place?"

"I don't know," said Breezepelt with a shrug. "I'll walk until I find something."

"Breezepelt!"

"Jayfeather." Breezepelt stared at him, and Jayfeather stared back. They stood across from each other as if staring into the river at their own reflections, except that the water was rippling and messing up the picture. The warrior lost to darkness and the medicine cat who was supposed to be upholding it. Jayfeather realized that Breezepelt was right – what right did he, Jayfeather, have to judge Breezepelt for what he had done? There were wrongdoings, but Jayfeather was a walking wrongdoing. He was a violation of both the warrior code and the medicine cat code, and he was sure that Breezepelt had always seen him that way. Except perhaps for this moment.

It was the moment when brother stared at brother and recognized that they were kin. Then they turned in unison, Breezepelt to wander the grey-and-white shadowy land, and Jayfeather to return to the world of the living. The connection shattered between them.

Jayfeather woke up to greyness and lifted himself off of Breezepelt's corpse, shaking himself out. He couldn't locate Hollyleaf anymore, but that was okay. He scented the air, all the rage inside him giving way to a sudden exhaustion. Jayfeather staggered and fell. He felt lake water lap on the shores not far away, and when he sniffed the air, he could smell the lake water washing with blood.

"Jayfeather!" That voice. Jayfeather opened his eyes wider as he caught the bloodied scent of Leafpool rushing down the slope. "You mouse-brain! What have you…" She caught sight of what was going on and paused. "Did you do this?"

Jayfeather lifted his head as his mother came over to him, and she helped him slowly to his paws.

"I've seen this scene before," she mumbled, her voice far away. Then she turned back to Jayfeather. "How could you?"

"He asked me to," said Jayfeather. Leafpool got quiet. "I came…because he killed Cinderheart."

"No, he didn't," said Leafpool crossly. "Cinderheart is in my den, and she's fine."

"What?" Jayfeather's heart lifted suddenly. "No…Brightheart said there was blood."

"Blood does not mean death," snapped Leafpool. She sighed heavily. "Come on, Jayfeather." For once, Jayfeather leaned on her shoulder and felt alright that they were moving together. He thought of Hollyleaf, but he didn't get sad this time. Hollyleaf was with him, somehow, in a way that she hadn't been before. He always knew that she had died, but he had never found her spirit in StarClan. Perhaps he had held onto too much hope.

"Is there a queen named Sunstrike in WindClan's camp?" asked Jayfeather softly. Leafpool mewed her surprise and then nodded.

"She's the reason Kestrelflight got captured," she said. "Why do you ask?"

"I should speak to her," said Jayfeather. Leafpool didn't speak for a while.

"I'm sorry," she said in a quiet voice. "If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened."

"It was supposed to happen," said Jayfeather softly. "All of it."

"All of this death, all of this betrayal…" said Leafpool.

"I'm not angry with you," said Jayfeather, because he wasn't. Leafpool got quiet, but Jayfeather could feel her smile. "You were just looking out for us."

There was a certain bounce in her step as they staggered back to the camp, and Jayfeather knew that despite the carnage all around them, they wouldn't be hurt. Leafpool would protect them both, and Jayfeather felt sure that Hollyleaf was right. It wasn't his time to resign himself to the dark future of death.

"So…Cinderheart?" Leafpool said, half-teasing.

"I've learned from the mistakes of others," said Jayfeather.

"All the learning in the world can't stop you from caring about another cat," said Leafpool. She licked Jayfeather's ear, but Jayfeather didn't flinch away. Why bother? "I trust you, Jayfeather. With yourself, and with ThunderClan, and with…everything else."

"I made a mistake," said Jayfeather. "I'm not a warrior. I should never have left."

"This is the War of Shadows," said Leafpool. "Who says you can't be both?"

That line got moved several times until I finally figured out who was saying it. Fun fact - it was originally Yellowfang. Also, there were versions where Jayfeather didn't kill Brokenstar and versions where he did...but BREEZEPELT. I know it's really confusing why Breezepelt is in the weird swirly place, but it will come up in Elemental again. Wheeeeeee interconnecting things. I hope you plan to read the rest of my weird series!

Thanks so much for all of you who stood by Jayfeather through his journey. I hope he reached some sort of emotional end here. He does narrate the Epilogue, so we're not quite done with him yet.

Please favorite, follow, and review if you enjoyed it!

~Elsi