Cuteness Gremlins: You'll never get out alive! *More mad cackles*

Chapter 38

Shepard, Liara, their twins, and their friends all settled in the large living room to laze around after a big lunch. A day after the Urdnots arrived, Tali and Garrus had shown up in the Normandy with Joker, Edi, Miranda, and Jack in tow. Garrus currently held a one-month-old Naiala in his talons, bouncing her on his lap and making her grin toothlessly from ear to ear. Tali sat next to him crooning things to the infant and occasionally tickling her stomach. Jack was sitting in a chair, showing uncharacteristic affection in public and massaging Miranda's shoulders, who sat on the floor in front of her. Joker and Edi were currently discussing Tuchanka politics with the Urdnots and Aethyta. Shepard sat next to Liara on one of their love seats while Liara breast fed Elaria under the cover of a blanket.

"So how goes all the new Shadow Broker business?" Shepard asked the new team after slipping an arm around Liara's waist.

"Fucking awesome," Jack immediately replied. "There's never a shortage of mercenary work in the Intel business. Who knew?"

"Tedious," Miranda replied. "I don't know how the hell you did it all by yourself, Liara."

"I get to order people around again, so I'm not going to complain," Garrus said with a chuckle.

"A lot more fun than being an Admiral, I can tell you that," Tali added.

"We're basically the new badasses in town," Joker said with a smirk. "Step aside, Commander. You've been dethroned."

Shepard chuckled. "The throne is all yours. The only throne I want my ass parked on is this couch from now on."

"Well, you are the coolest ambassador in the whole galaxy now," Joker admitted. "Face it, Commander. You're not capable of not being badass."

"I still fail to see how a negative term such as 'bad' placed in conjunction with a term of an individual's posterior has somehow evolved into a compliment," Edi said with a troubled look. "Nor do I understand when it is appropriate to utilize such terms."

"Don't feel bad, Edi," Liara said with a small grin. "I still don't get it either."

"So none of you guys regret taking on the Shadow Broker title?" Shepard asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from her ass. "Do you regret leaving the Admiralty board Tali? Would you rather be on Rannoch?"

"I thought I would want to immediately settle down and start building a home on Rannoch, but . . . well it just isn't the same without my father. And I grew up in space; it's where my heart has always been. I think I can do more good being apart of the Shadow Broker team anyway. My people are strong. They don't need me to rebuild Rannoch, just as humanity doesn't need you to rebuild on Earth."

Shepard nodded her agreement. The decision to move to Thessia had been remarkably easy, all things considered. Then again, she was a colony kid, so she'd never been particularly attached to Earth. "How about you, Garrus? Still lovin' space life?"

"I lived on the Citadel because I don't like having dirt beneath my feet," he said with a chuckle. "We turians know a thing or two about rebuilding. Palaven can survive without one more military fellow like me. Plus . . . I don't particularly want to be a Primarch."

"And I get to keep piloting the Normandy," Joker added. "So I ain't gonna complain."

"Oh yeah, speaking of that," Shepard said with amusement, "how did the Alliance feel about their prized ship up and disappearing into space?"

"Technically Cerberus built it, so it was never the Alliance's to begin with," Miranda said a bit testily. "So they had no real claim to it, other than you delivering it to them."

"Hey, I think it's funny," Shepard said with a laugh. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still loyal to the Alliance, I just think it's funny my friends stole the most valuable ship in the fleet. Kasumi would be so proud. Wait, did you have Kasumi help you?"

When everyone fidgeted and coughed awkwardly, Shepard laughed even harder. "Oh man that must have been such a proud moment! I bet she's dying to brag about to me about it. How'd she do it? With all your help, I imagine."

"I can't imagine what you're talking about, Shepard," Tali said in her most sweetly innocent voice. She took Naiala from Garrus's talons and held the baby next to her helmet up so they were both facing Shepard. "Your daughter is appalled at the very idea of your friends being a bunch of common thieves and miscreants. See this face? That is complete appalled . . . ness."

Naiala waved her arms and smiled toothlessly.

Shepard chuckled even harder. "Oh you're absolutely right. She definitely looks appalled right now."

"You jest, but I swear she is," Tali hastily replied.

"Actually I think that's her poop-face," Jack said with a sarcastic laugh. "Congratulations, Tali. Shepard's kid just shit all over your shitty lie."

"Let's not forget who beat up a couple of Alliance soldiers to get us into the Normandy, Jack," Tali shot back and Shepard could swear she saw Tali stick her tongue out under her violet mask. "We wouldn't want Shepard finding out about a certain biotic beating up a couple of harmless guards, now would we?"

"Shepard, have you always had this habit of making miscreant friends?" Liara said with an exasperated smile.

Shepard placed a contemplative index finger to her chin. "Shit. I guess I have."

"Hahahaha!" Wrex burst out. "Hear that Grunt? You're a miscreant!"

"I'm a miscreant?!" Grunt shouted back. "Miscreant?! You dare -!" he suddenly stopped when he noticed Naiala looking a little concerned over his raised voice. "Uh . . . I mean . . . yeah I guess I am a little bit of a miscreant."

Grinning and shaking her head, Shepard stood and took a squirming Naiala from Tali. "I think Jack was right. That was her poop-face. You miscreants all behave yourselves while I change her."

Shepard made her way to one of the guest bathrooms and began changing her when Liara slipped into the bathroom with her. Shepard smiled and leaned her head sideways for a kiss. Liara gave her one and returned her soft smile when she pulled away. The human finished changing her daughter then pulled open her button-up shirt.

"I actually think she's hungry," she said, lifting her daughter off the counter.

"I can get it," Liara said hastily, but Shepard shook her head with a smile.

"It's okay, I got it. You just fed Elaria. I'm sure you wouldn't mind a break. I just didn't want to feed her in front of everyone. I still have that 'tough girl' reputation to keep, after all."

Liara smiled and playfully rolled her eyes. But her mirth was replaced by infinite tenderness as she watched Naiala begin suckling enthusiastically on one of Shepard's breasts.

"Plus," Shepard added, kissing Liara's cheek, "only you get to see this side of me, remember?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Liara replied, her eyes shimmering with adoration that never ceased to shake Shepard's very foundation. She only tore her eyes away when Naiala finished eating and fussed a little before passing out from the exertion of it all.

"Hey, who stole Elaria?" Shepard asked, looking to Liara's empty arms. "This moment would be perfect if all four of us were here."

Liara's grin returned. "Wrex demanded to be able to hold her when she fell asleep. He's a cuddle monster and don't let anyone tell you different."

Shepard chuckled. "He kinda is, isn't he?"

"It's why we love him. And it's why our daughters are going to adore him. Who wouldn't want to grow up with the bragging rights of being able to sit on a krogan's lap?"

Shepard chuckled even harder. "I think my way of talking is starting to rub off on you. I mean, 'bragging rights?' That's totally my saying."

Liara grinned slyly. "Oh? And you seem to have stolen my saying. I seem to be recalling something you said last night. What was it again? 'Oh goddess Liara please . . .' Something like that?"

This time Shepard's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "Teasing me now? And about sex? Holy shit I really am rubbing off on you! Damn . . . that's really sexy . . ."

Liara rolled her eyes again in mock-exasperation. "You're incorrigible."

Shepard's grin turned devious. "You better believe it, Babe."