Chapter Thirty-Three

Grace

I was in so much pain, and I thought I was going to throw up. Sam took my hand and kissed my palm.

"It's going to be alright." He whispered.

"It will, if you are going to be there with me." I whispered back.

"The baby is going to be fine, trust me." When we arrived at the doctor's office my heart was racing a thousand miles a minute. Sam got me out of the car and we walked into the hospital. Sam sat me down in a chair and walked over to the lady at the front desk. He told her how I fell and how we just got home from the doctors an hour ago and then we came back. A woman came out with a wheelchair and helped me into it. Sam looked at me and mouthed the words 'I'm sorry'. He knew how much I hated them. They rushed me into a room and put me on a bed. The doctor that saw me earlier came in and started talking to me.

"We are going to do a scan, but I have a few questions, have you been losing a lot of blood?" I feel embarrassed talking about this kind of stuff but I just participate, I nod my head. "Is this the only cramp you had or have you been having more."

"Not this bad, but yes," I said. I felt bad because I didn't tell Sam about all my pain.

"Ok, I will get the scan room ready for you." She got off the bed and walked out of the room. Sam walked over and stroked his hand through my hair. The doctor walked in and asked Sam if he wanted to come with us and Sam agreed. She wheeled me into the dark room with only one blue light from a computer screen. She hooked wires up to my stomach and moved the computer so only she could see it. All kinds of thoughts went through my mind. 'I failed Sam, something happened to our baby, I killed it.' I couldn't think that, not through all Sam and I have been through. I watched the doctor's face expression change from neutral to worried. She started clicking the mouse really fast and the screen was blinking colors. She also bit her lower lip, which scared me. When she finished, she walked over and took the tabs off my stomach and chest.

"Mr. Roth, Miss. Brisbane, while I was looking at the scan I tried to watch the baby's heartbeat on the screen. There was no heartbeat. The signs that you have been having, Grace, they were signs of miscarriage. So the blood, and the cramps, they are signs of a miscarriage." The doctor swallowed for a moment, then sighed.

"So, what was the reason for the miscarriage?" Sam asked.

"Well if you look at this picture here you can see there was and infection here," she said pointing to a blurry picture, "There was also some hormonal problems." She said putting down the picture. "I'm very sorry, but both of you can't blame you, or eachother, it was no one's fault. You could feel numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating, and trust me this will take a while to get over, I have had three miscarriages."

"Will we be able to try again?" I asked. Sam's head shot me a look. I don't think he was expecting me to ask anything like that.

"To be on the safe side, I would wait about, six months." The doctor replied. "Grace we are going to have to take the baby out though." I was shocked; even though I wasn't pregnant anymore I was going to have to go through the process of birth.

"Is she going to have to today?" Sam asked.

"Yes, if she keeps it in too long, never has it out, or is not done properly, Grace can get cancer."