"Oh come on," Eva groaned, "where IS he?"
Eva was, of course, referring to Chris. While the contestants had left confessionals, the host had excused himself, then disappeared into the wilds. No one was quite sure where he had gotten off to, and he had been absent for roughly half an hour.
"So, what?" Gwen asked, "Did Chris drag us back out here just to make us wait around all day?"
"Seems like it," Duncan said, smiling sadly, "definitely something he would do, for sure."
"It's good to be home," Gwen sighed.
~o.0.o~
Chris was running around his lodge, trying not to panic. A few crew members were standing outside of his room, waiting for their orders.
"Okay," Chris frowned, "not panicking, not panicking, not panicking- okay, I've got it! I want you guys to leave, and go back to the main land. You're going to call up headquarters, and have them do three things: import bears here for Cody, see if you can get in contact with Izzy and purchase some explosives, and FIND ME A NEW INTERN!"
"Yes sir," one of the men said, "right away, sir. Anything else we can get you?"
"No," Chris sighed, "I just need to make one phone call, then I'll be back to hosting my show."
"Right," the man said, "we'll be back by this evening, Mr. McLean."
"Good," Chris nodded, pulling his cell phone out, "good. Now get out of my sight!"
The crew rushed out, and Chris began dialing a number on his phone.
~o.0.o~
Somewhere in Ontario, Noah was hunched over a desk, studying for a college exam. His cell phone started to ring, and he immediatley answered, thinking it was Josh or Justin.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"NOAH!" Chris shouted, "THIS IS ALL OF YOUR GODDAMN FAULT! BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE TO WORK AROUND ALL THESE SETBACKS AND-"
Noah sighed, and hung up the phone.
"Could have sworn I blocked that schmucks' number," he muttered before getting back to work.
~o.0.o~
It was another forty minutes before Chris actually returned to the contestants, and by then they were practically fuming.
"What took you so long?" Ricardo demanded, "If Ricardo wished to stand around in the sun doing nothing all summer, he would have stayed home."
"I'm inclined to agree, Chris," Alejandro frowned, "despite not being known for any grand acts of charity, I'd like to think you at least had a sense of punctuality."
"Hey, I have great timing!" Chris snapped, "In fact, that was... part of... the challenge! Yeah! That was psychological... tactic...stuff so that you would be more vulnerable towards today's challenge!"
"Is this guy serious?" Lucky asked.
"So... what IS the challenge?" Veronica asked.
"Glad you asked," Chris frowned, thinking fast, "because your challenge is... to... find your cabins, yeah! The first team to reach the cabins wins immunity from tonight's elimination, as well as a small party. And by party, I mean you get to sit around a fire and eat snacks."
"What, no gambling or music?" Lucky frowned, "I was expecting something with a little more-"
"Hey, you take what you get," Chris snapped, "now, I'm going to give each team a map of the island, and it's up to you to decipher it and figure out where the cabins are. Before we start, we also may as well pick team names- I'm not going to call one team the Veterans and the other the Newbies, especially since you're going to be switched up a bit. So, like last time, I'm going to let you pick your names. Although hopefully you'll do a better job of it this time around."
"What about the Ronin?" Harold asked, "Fearless and skilled samurai warrior without a master that-"
"That's not bad," Duncan shrugged.
"Yeah, alright," Cody agreed, "I don't see why not."
"Well, if they're going to go with the Ronin," Miri thought, "why don't we also go with a historical warrior, like a Roman Legionnaire?"
"Sure," David said, "the Legion it is, then."
"Okay," Chris said, "so we have the Ronin and the Legion! The teams are formed, and now you're going to compete for immunity, just like old times! So, get going, and start bringing in those ratings!"
The campers looked at each other, shrugged, and set off.
~o.0.o~
The Legion trekked through the forest, taking turns trying to decipher the map Chris had given them. It was less of a map and more of some crude drawings with some unintelligible words scribbled here and there, but they figured arguing with Chris wasn't the best course of action in their particular scenario.
"So," Lance mused, "here we are on some island in the middle of nowhere, walking through the wilderness with absolutely no sense of direction. This what you guys thought it would be?"
"Honestly?" Lucky asked, "I'm not quite sure what I thought it would be. I never actually watched this show back in it's heyday."
"Ugh, I remember when this stupid thing first came out," Sunny chuckled, "it was kind of a big deal in England for a while, especially in my town. One of those cozy little nowhere towns. I mean, I figure everyone got about twelve channels, and this was what was on at the time. I HATED hearing about it. Sort of got old after a while."
"Don't let Chris catch you saying that," Lance said.
"Yeah, that cat didn't strike me as being a particularly stand up guy," Lucky agreed, "you should have seen the way those other kids were looking at him. I pity him."
"McLean is a wreck," Aria said softly, "his eyes tell a sad story. He keeps trying to make sense of what he's found, but just gets more and more lost in the process."
Everyone turned and stared at Aria, who seemed not to notice.
"Right," Lucky said after a while, "thank you, for that."
The contestants continued walking in silence for a while, until they heard a rustling in the tress around them.
"Tell me I'm not the only one who heard that," David frowned.
The members of the Legion turned, and saw nearby trees rustling. A few seconds later, something resembling a mutated alligator with compound eyes and brightly colored scales crawled out.
"Uh, Ricardo does not wish to alarm anyone," Ricardo gulped, "BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?"
"That's odd," Miri frowned, getting closer, "it almost resembles an alligator, which would seem impossible in this environment, and the bright colors don't seem to serve muc hof a purpose-"
The creature open its mouth, exposing three rows of jagged teeth on its top and bottom jaws. It let out a low growl, and stepped toward the contestants.
The teens began to back away slowly.
"What, uh... what are we supposed to do?" Veronica asked.
"Nobody panic," Johnny said, "let's just stay calm, and try to get out of here without incident-"
At that moment, Ricardo let out a scream and took off running.
"Nice," Lance said.
The alligator monster was evidently not impressed by this display, as it began to march forward.
"Oh, great," Lucky groaned, "SPLIT!"
~o.0.o~
The Ronin made their way along the coast, catching up on old times. Cody and Harold, arguably the most intelligent players on their team (Aside from Alejandro, who wasn't yet trusted) were at the front of the group trying to get a hold on what the map said.
"So, what have you guys been up to all this time?" Courtney asked, "I mean, we haven't really kept in contact that much, have we?"
"Yeah, sorry, I've been busy," Gwen shrugged, "I moved in with my cousin a little after season three ended. I've been living with her trying find a good art school to go to."
"Hey, I'm actually going to school, too!" Cody smiled, "Well, the police academy, actually."
"What?" Eva laughed, "YOU? A cop?"
"Yeah?" Cody pouted, "So?"
"I think what Eva is trying to say," Alejandro smirked, "is that it is... difficult imagining you as an officer of the law. You being who you are, and all."
"Hey, shut up!" Cody snapped, "I- I want to help people, and there's nothing wrong with that!"
"No, there isn't," Gwen smiled, "you're doing a good thing, Cody."
"What about the rest of you?" Cody asked.
"I've been training with my LARPing group," Harold said, "in addition to my new job at a comic shop."
"I'm actually not all that different from you, Cody," Duncan shrugged, "I'm working with the police on a sort of... you know, Youth Outreach thing. Mostly volunteer, but we have to work to make the money come from somewhere."
CONFESSIONAL: Duncan
Honestly, that's the only reason I'm here this season. When Chris called me half-drunk and offered me a position back here, I was ready to tell him to stuff it, but the fact is, we could really use the money. We've asked people to donate, but no one seems to care about helping others anymore. I donate what I can, but let's face it, I don't make very much money as it is.
END CONFESSIONAL
"I'm trying to get into show business," Eva frowned, "but no one wants to sign me on to anything- it's ridiculous! I'm the QUEEN of Reality TV! I mean, the only work I've gotten was shooting a few ads for a sock company. Hey Courtney, your boyfriend has his own reality show now, right? Any chance he needs help with that?"
"Fiance," Courtney corrected, "and, um, I'll ask, but I'm not sure if he needs any help, with Owen as his co-host and everything. I mean, he goes around throwing people parties, is that even something you would like?"
CONFESSIONAL: Courtney
I'm not one for holding grudges, and if Eva wants me to ask Geoff, I will, but... she isn't the most agreeable person I've met.
END CONFESSIONAL
"What about you, Alejandro?"Harold asked, "I think I remember seeing you somewhere, actually, but I can't place it-."
"Oh, um," ALejandro muttered nervously, "the thing is, I was working in a rather... exclusive catering company. Interesting restaurant, very-high class."
"GOSH, I remember now!" Harold smiled, "Didn't you serve me a burger at Burget Shots once?"
The contestants reaction to this was varied. A few people gasped, and began whispering to one another, while a few others like Cody and Eva began snickering. Alejandro's face blushed a bright shade of scarlet, and he looked down at his feet.
CONFESSIONAL: Alejandro
You don't know how DEMEANING these past few years have been! Yes, I worked at a FILTHY chain restaurant, alright? Stuck serving greasy pieces of burnt garbage to filthy peasants! I was a Buerromuerto- now I'm nothing! My own FAMILY has threatened to disown me if I don't pull my act together- and this pathetic excuse for programming was one of the last straws before they decided they had enough of me. That's why I'm here. I want to right all of my wrongs, and show my family I'm still SOMETHING. I wish Justin and Noah were here. I'm sure toppling them would show I was more competent than they think. But I'm not even given THAT opportunity. I NEED to win this season. I... I don't want to think about what will happen if I don't.
END CONFESSIONAL
"Hey, you know what?" Tyler asked, "DJ, why don't you talk about what you've been up to? You haven't spoken to any of us since the first season!"
DJ sighed.
"I haven't been doing anything special, I guess," he shrugged, "I mean, I work at an animal shelter now, but that's about it. I mean, I GUESS it's cool to be back here."
CONFESSIONAL: DJ
To be honest, I had totally forgotten about this show, and I was happier that way. I mean, my first run on here wasn't all that great. I mean, I wasn't the bravest, and I did accidently dislocate Justin's arm, so I kind of wanted to put the whole thing behind me. But sometimes you just got to deal with things directly, I guess.
END CONFESSIONAL
~o.0.o~
While The Ronin were catching up, the Legion was cornered by the alligator. The beast took a snap at the contestants, who backed away as far as they could. Sunny, a mixture of frightened and angry, pulled out her guitar and began swinging it at the monster.
"Oi, get back- GET BACK!" she shouted.
The monster was not amused, and let out a single grunt.
"Sunny, I think you're just making it angry," Miri said.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Sunny asked, "Hit something 'til it goes away- it's always worked before!"
"We're gonna die here," Tammy panicked, "this was a set up- WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
"Nobody's going to die here!" Johnny exclaimed, "Let's just-"
Out of nowhere, an huge pterodactyl-like creature swooped down, grabbed the alligator, and flew off. The Legion was stunned into silence.
"Wha... what kind of place is this?" Veronica asked.
"One thing's for sure," Lance sighed, "we're not in Kansas anymore."
~o.0.o~
Ricardo was sitting in the shade, leaning against a tree.
"This is more like it," Ricardo smiled, "peace and quiet-"
"Ricardo."
Annoyed, Ricardo opened his eyes, but saw no one in the immediate area.
"Hmph," he snorted, "Ricardo must be hearing things. Must be the heat-"
"Ricardo."
Ricardo glanced around once more.
"If this is someone's idea of a joke," Ricardo frowned, "Ricardo is certainly not amused!"
As Ricardo looked around, he could have sworn he saw someone in the corner of his eye. Sure enough, when Ricardo looked again, he could make out a figure standing in the distance, waving at him.
"Chris?" Ricardo thought, "No, that cannot be-"
The figure hopped closer, and began beckoning Ricardo to follow after it. Ricardo cocked his head, suddenly enthralled. He got to his feet, and began to make his way down the-
"HEY!"
Ricardo blinked, and turned around to face his angry looking teammates.
"What the hell was THAT?" Quinn demanded, "Bail on us like that again, and those mutants will be the LAST thing you need to worry about!"
"Not cool, baby, not cool," Lucky frowned.
"Uh, let Ricardo explain," he chuckled, "Ricardo was off for help, you see, and thought that Chris might-"
"Chris nothing," Vevo snapped, "if this happens again, you're out of here."
"Uhhhhh... Ricardo understands," he nodded, "apologies, friends. Let's get going then, shall we?"
"Actually," Kyle frowned, "where ARE we going? Did anyone manage to work out what that map said?"
"Workin' on it, baby," Lucky sighed, "I mean, you could be yelling at me in German while waving a gun in my face and this would still make less sense."
"Have you tried turning it upside down?" Miri asked.
"Of course," Lance said, "like, eight times. The trouble is, we keep trying the same thing over and over and expecting something magic to happen, we need a new angle."
While many of the Legion argued over the map, Aria approached Ricardo. She gazed at him thoughtfully for a moment.
"Don't misunderstand, Ricardo has much experience with females gazing at him lustfully," Ricardo frowned, "but you are beginning to unnerve me."
"What did you see?" Aria asked.
"See? Well, I see the sea," Ricardo chuckled, "and some sand. A few tress, and some grass. Very heavy stuff, mind you."
Aria stared at him a moment longer, then shook her head and walked away.
Ricardo smirked, satisfied with his incredibly un-funny joke. Before he regrouped with the others, however, he looked down the beach one last time, to where the figure was standing. The figure was gone- although, oddly enough, there was a black patch of dirt left where they had been standing. Ricardo almost felt like investigating it, but a moment later, he was snapped out of his trance when Vevo yanked him forward.
"Come on," Vevo hissed, "we're leaving.
CONFESSIONAL: Lucky
You know, I'm not feeling too hot about our chances right now. I like Sunny and Lance, they seem alright, but everyone else? Ricardo doesn't seem like he's going to be much use in challenges, Tammy keeps blabbing about her weird conspiracies, and something seems wrong with Vevo. Of course, I've been wrong before.
END CONFESSIONAL
The Ronin walked along the beach a little longer, and Harold suddenly stopped, staring at the map intently.
"Okay," he murmured, "I THINK we're almost there."
"Oh, thank gosh!" Lindsay smiled, "I'm starting to get sand in my shoes!"
"Girl, there's a CHALLENGE to win, if you hadn't noticed," LeShawna snapped, "we don't have time to worry about that!"
"But how am I supposed to win with-"
"Oh, SHUT UP!" Eva snapped, "We're going to lose to a bunch of wannabees if this keeps up, and what then?"
"Well," Chris said, "you could always blame Noah, like I do."
The contestants stopped arguing, and saw that they had actually reached the cabins.
'GOSH!" Harold exclaimed, "We MADE it!"
"Yes, yes you did," Chris said, "not sure how, though."
"What are you talking about?" Harold asked, "I followed the map exactly-"
"What, THAT old thing?" Chris snickered, "Oh, that wasn't an actual map. Just some doodles I threw together last minute."
"Wait," Courtney gasped, "you mean you were willing to let us wander around lost thinking we had a real map, with the possibility or become lost or seriously injured?"
"Duh," Chris said, "what do you think the Legion is doing now? It was a one-in-a-million chance that you managed to make it here."
"So wait," Duncan frowned, "you're just letting the others wander around in the wilderness? That's cold."
"Yeah," Chris agreed, "but I needed to get back into the swing of things. Speaking of which, last I saw they were going to wander into raptor territory- anyone want to take bets as to who get's maimed first?"
"C'mon, Chris," Cody said, "cut them a break!"
"I don't know," Eva snickered, "I think it's kinda funny!"
"Fine, fine," Chris snapped, "if you guys are going to be like that, I'll have... SOMEONE go help them. You guys are getting soft on me! Anyway, since you're all safe from elimination, you have the rest of the day off to celebrate, and commemorate your victory together."
The Ronin cheered, and began making their way towards the cabins.
CONFESSIONAL: Alejandro
As I said before, I've been thinking, and I think the key to winning this season is a good alliance. If I can get a group of people at my back, I should last longer. I'm not talking about manipulating or charming anyone, either, I mean an equal and willing partnership. For now.
END CONFESSIONAL
While most of the Ronin were preoccupied, Alejandro took Bridgette and Eva aside.
"Listen, ladies," he said, "I know after everything that happened the last season what I'm about to propose might seem outlandish, but I ask that you keep and open mind. It has been, after all, two years, and hopefully we've moved past and petty grudges we may have been holding."
"What do you want, Al?" Bridgette asked.
"An alliance," Alejandro sighed.
Eva and Bridgette both began to say something, but he motioned for them to be quiet.
"Look," Alejandro continued, "we all need to work together. We're the least popular contestants here, when elimination time comes around, we'll be lucky if we don't all get the boot within the next few weeks. None of us left a particularly good impression, and for that we have only ourselves- and maybe Noah or Justin- to blame. Now, what do you think?"
Surprisingly, Eva answered almost immediately.
"I'm in," she said, "oh, don't look so surprised. I mean, I'm not stupid. What you said is true- we're not well-liked around here. I get people like Duncan and Courtney are trying to act like holier-than-thou White Knights and be open-minded, but who knows how long that'll last? I'm in. Because I, like you guys, really happen to enjoy winning."
"Thank you for seeing reason, Eva," Alejandro smiled, "and what of you, Bridgette?"
"I don't know," she sighed, shaking her head, "I... I need to think about it. I didn't come back here to make the same mistakes."
"Mistakes?" Eva mused, "I'm sorry, I seem to recall you almost being PROUD of what you did."
"Look, if I was given the chance, I wouldn't do it over," Bridgette snapped, "and I don't regret what I did... but I do kind of regret the price everyone else paid. I'm older now, and looking back on it I don't think it was my finest moment. And besides, how do I know I can trust you guys?"
Eva looked like she was about to scream at Bridgette, but Alejandro stopped her.
"Just... think it over," he proposed, "we don't need an answer now. But we may need one the next elimination cermeony."
"Yeah," Bridgette nodded, "yeah, whatever."
As it would turn out, Alejandro wasn't the only one trying to reform an alliance.
"Come on," Ezekiel pleaded, "it'll be just like the old days!"
"No," Duncan snapped, "I've said that like eight times now, and I've meant it each one. I'm not doing stuff like that anymore."
"Oh, come on!" Ezekiel said, "But it got you far-"
"No," Duncan said sadly, "in the end... I think it held me back. I'm not that kind of person anymore."
"Look," Ezekiel insisted, "if we got together- maybe had a few other people like Harold or DJ help us- we could be an unstoppable force!"
"No," Duncan said, "in case you haven't noticed, the 'unstoppable forces' on this show always come in threes."
"Then we'll have a group of three!"
"Ezekiel, I was joking," Duncan snapped, "I'm done having this conversation with you. I'm not saying we can't be friends or anything, but I don't want anything to do with any alliances this time around."
With that, Duncan marched off.
"Fine," Ezekiel mumbled, "I'LL START MY OWN ALLIANCE! JUST YOU WAIT!"
~o.0.o~
An hour later, and the Legion was still completely lost.
"Holy crap," Lucky said, "I figured out what we've been doing wrong this entire time!"
"Really?" Veronica smiled, "You know how to read the map?"
"No," Lucky scoffed, "this isn't a goddamn map- it's a bunch of scribbles on an old receipt!"
"What?" Lance asked, "Lemme see that real quick."
Lance grabbed the "map" examined it, then let out a groan and threw it on the ground.
"He's right," Lance said miserably, "that was never a damn map in the first place! We've been spending hours trying to read something that was never really written!"
"Fantastic," Sunny smiled, "that Chris is certainly a classy fellow."
"Well... what do we do?" Veronica asked.
"What's TO do?" Lucky scoffed, sitting on the ground, "those Ronin are probably back at camp now, laughing at us. Shit. SHIT!"
The contestants were quiet for a moment, and then Sunny began to play "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life", by Monty Python.
"Hold on a second," Kyle frowned, "you guys see that?"
Kyle pointed to a group of trees. The outline of a person could be seen struggling to make his way through.
"Who's that?" Kyle asked, "One of the Ronin?"
When the figure was revealed, however, it turned out to be one of Chris' crew.
"I was sent to get you guys," he explained, "the other team already made it to the camp, and Chris said to fetch you guys for the elimination ceremony."
The contestants looked at each other, and then back at the man.
"Come on," he said, "might as well get it over with. Good motto when dealing with Chris."
~o.0.o~
After two hours, all of the contestants were gathered at the cabins.
"Okay," Chris said, "I'm going to keep this sweet and simple. The Ronin won today's challenge, and therefore have immunity and tonight's reward, yadda yadda yadda. Since the Legion lost, you guys will meet in two hours to send someone home."
"Ricardo doesn't suppose you can be persuaded to do a recount?"
"Recount of WHAT?" Chris asked, "No one was counting anything!"
"So there should be no reason not to do one then!" Ricardo smiled.
Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a sigh.
"Get out of my sight," Chris snapped, "you have two hours, then someone will come and collect you and show you where the ceremony is being held."
"Ah yes," Ricardo sighed, "well, I tried."
~o.0.o~
Lucky and Lance were in the boy's cabin, discussing who to vote home that night.
"I really have no idea," Lance shrugged, "I feel a little bad about this, to tell you the truth."
"I know what you mean," Lucky agreed, "it's an interesting method of group bonding. You know, have a bunch of people single on man out and throw him under the bus."
Duncan, who had just entered the boys cabin, greeted the two.
"Hey," Duncan said, "don't think we've met yet. Name's Duncan."
"Lucky."
"Name's Lance."
"Right," Duncan nodded, "yeah, I remember. Sorry, I'm usually good with names, but today's been pretty hectic and all. Anyway, don't take losing too seriously. Chris'll do his best to belittle you guys tonight on national TV, but- odd as it may sound- don't feel too bad about it. It happens to everyone here."
"Uh, thanks," Lucky said, raising an eyebrow.
"I gotta get back to the bonfire our team is having," Duncan said, "I guess I'll see you later."
With that, Duncan turned and left.
"Huh," Lucky frowned, "either he was making fun of us, or he's showing class I didn't think I'd see here."
"Man, you should stop being so pessimistic," Lance said, "loosen up a bit."
"It's gotten me this far," Lucky shrugged, "besides, a pessimist-"
"-is what an optimist calls a realist, yeah," Lance finished, a smile on his face, "I've hear- oh, shit! We're gonna be late for the elimination!"
Lance leapt to his feet.
"C'mon," he said, "we gotta get going- just give me a minute, and I'll catch up."
Lucky nodded, then walked out of the cabin.
Lance reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a bottle of pills, and took two.
"Phew," he said, "alright, let's do this."
~o.0.o~
The Legion sat around a make-shift stage constructed on the beach, with Chris standing behind a large podium. On top of the podium was a large plate filled with marshmallows.
"You know," Chris smirked, "I'm not surprised you guys were eliminated first. I mean, look at you- you're the sorriest team I've ever laid eyes on! And that's including Team Codykinz! But I guess you are new, so I'll go easy on. Instead of verbally berating you for an hour or so, I'll skip straight to the elimination. So, much like the first season, if I call your name, you get a marshmallow, and you're safe. So, Marshmallows tonight go to:
Johnny.
Sunny.
Veronica.
Aria.
Lucky.
Vevo.
Miri.
Lance.
David.
Quinn, and...
Kyle.
Ricardo and Tammy, that leaves you two on the chopping block. And the final marshmallow of the night goes to...
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"RICARDO!"
Ricardo caught his marshmallow, and smiled in triumph.
"What?" Tammy gasped, "How could you guys eliminate ME? Unless... you're working for THEM?"
"That. That is why we eliminated you," Vevo snapped.
"Besides," Lance shrugged, "despite bailing on us today, Ricardo WAS able to sneak away quickly and quietly. That's means he at least has SOME skills."
"Fine," Tammy hissed, "it's better I wasn't here, anyway- not with the things that went on here when-"
"Okay, that's enough!" Chris snapped, "Get out of here, already!"
Chris shoved Tammy towards a boat that had been waiting nearby to take her away.
"Well, there you have it," Chris smirked, "our first elimination of the season! But things aren't even BEGINNING to heat up- we're still in our introductory stages, people! Stay tuned for drama, action, romance, and of course: ME! TUne in next time for an all-new episode of
CAMP TV:
SPECTER ISLANDS!"