Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. OCs & fanfic belongs to me.

Chapter 1: Harsh Love

It was nearly 3 AM, Izaya was fast asleep as he woke up hearing his phone go off. He just woke up from a dream that he was hanging out with his friends. Izaya shrugged it off as he closed his eyes & turned to the other side to fall back asleep. A few minutes later, Izaya's phone went off again. Izaya sat up as he groaned & grabbed his phone. He rubbed his eyes as he tried to read the notification. It's from Luppi. He wants to tell Izaya something.

"Luppi, it's 3 AM, is everything okay?" Izaya sent the text as he laid back down & groaned.

"I'm sorry Izaya….but I need to tell you something…..can you meet me at the park by the mall, please?" Luppi sent the text as he waited for a reply.

"Like right now hon? I can try & sneak out but you gotta make it quick." Izaya replied as he got out of his bed & headed to the restroom to change clothes.

"Yes. It's just…I hope you can forgive me….." Luppi sent the text as he sighed. He stood by the tree where he craved "I x L= 4ever" Luppi sighed as he grabbed a stick & scratched it off.

He then gasped as he threw the stick down & immediately put his hands in his pocket as he saw Izaya coming out of the gates. Izaya yawned again as he rubbed his eyes & walked up to Luppi.

"Luppi, this better be important. Is everything okay at home?" Izaya asked him as he yawned again trying to keep himself awake.

Luppi gulped as he walked up to Izaya and hugged him. Izaya was fully awake as he hugged him back, smiled and rubbed his back. Luppi then looked at Izaya as he stepped back. Izaya frowned as he noticed that Luppi had some kind of regret in his eyes.

"Luppi, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" Izaya asked him as he tried to hold Luppi's hand but Luppi stepped back.

"Izaya…. I don't know how to say this but….I think we should be just friends….I'm really sorry…I don't really feel like dating you right now…." Luppi said to Izaya as he looked away and teared up.

Izaya tilted his head as he was confused as hell. "Wait? Come again? You don't wanna date me anymore?" Izaya asked as he got close to Luppi.

"Izaya…I didn't want to hurt you but….I'm not the kind of person to date….but I'm more into sleeping around with people I've become friends with. When we first had sex at the Femritters house I was going to ask you if we can just be friends..…..but when you asked me if I like like you…..I didn't know how to react to your answer." Luppi said as he cried.

Izaya remembered as he nodded. "So, you were just using me to get in my pants? You just wanted to fuck with me and then leave me like I'm some king of toy to you?" Izaya said as he tried to hold back his tears but failed. His tears fall through his eyes & down to his cheeks.

Luppi looked at Izaya as he gasped. "Izaya no! I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I swear!" Luppi tried to explain himself some more but Izaya snapped.

"Shut up! You used me! You lured me into your friend group trying to get me to talk to you guys when I wasn't even in the damn mood to talk to anybody! You then tried getting me out of my shell when I was still processing things at the soul society when I got adopted and graduating from the Shinigami academy and going into a new squad! You used me, Luppi! Used me for friendship and used me for sex!" Izaya broke down crying as he was very devastated. His heart was pounding so much that it felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Izaya! I'm sorry! I really am! I didn't know how to react to your question at that time. Please just listen to me!" Luppi tried to get Izaya's attention but Izaya moved away from him and stepped back.

"Luppi, you could've just told me before but I literally thought you liked me more than a friend. You really did love bombed me now my heart is broken. You're the second ex who dumped me." Izaya said as he sniffled & cried some more. He ran out of words as he choked.

Luppi sniffed also as he looked back. "Izaya…I…" Luppi gasped when he saw Izaya standing up. Not even looking at him.

"Just go. I have no words for you….." Izaya said as he folded his arms.

Luppi gasped as he tried to say his name but couldn't. Luppi cried and ran off. The cloud had turned into a really dark gray color & it began to rain. Izaya bit his lips as he slammed his fists onto the ground and screamed out in agony. Hitting the grass and pulling it as it was thundering. Luppi heard Izaya as he looked back seeing the regret he just caused towards Izaya. Luppi shook his head as he cried and ran back to his home. Izaya cried for hours till it had stopped raining. It was now morning time. Rukia woke up as she was in such a really good mood. She grabbed her bathrobe & headed to the restroom. Everyone else had woken up too, heading to the kitchen to get something to eat. Rukia got out of the bathroom as she grabbed her phone and walked out of her room. She saw Renji by Izaya's door as Rukia walked up to him.

"Renji? What are you doing?" Rukia asked her best friend as she tilted her head.

"Rukia, Izaya isn't in his room." Renji said as he opened the door fully as the two both looked inside.

Rukia looked around her little brother's room as she noticed that Izaya's phone was missing too. Rukia checked the bathroom but he wasn't in there. Rukia looked back at Renji.

"Do you think he's in his squad? Or maybe with your brother?" Renji asked Rukia as he walked up to her.

"Let's text him. If he answers then that means he's okay right? Right. I'm sure he's around Renji. Izaya can't be that far." Rukia said as she smiled at her friend.

Renji shrugged and nodded as he had a really bad feeling about this. He texted Izaya as he followed Rukia to the kitchen. Renji grabbed something to eat as he checked his phone. Nothing from Izaya. Renji looked around, not seeing someone with black and purple hair. Rukia didn't seem to notice as she sat across from Alice. Renji sat next to Alice as he gave her a weak smile. Alice tilted her head as she noticed.

"Renji, is everything okay? You look like you're worried about something." Alice asked him as she put her hand on his shoulder.

Renji blinked and looked at her and back at Rukia. "Rukia, I think there's something wrong with Izaya. We need to find him." Renji said in concern.

Alice looked at Rukia as she tilted her head. Rukia looked at her friends as she looked around the kitchen. There was no one here that had purple and black hair. Rukia stood up as she saw Byakuya walking into the kitchen by himself. Rukia finds that strange because he sometimes walks in with Izaya. Rukia sat back down, getting really worried now. Byakuya over where Rukia is sitting as he noticed that Izaya wasn't sitting by Rukia. Byakuya looked around and didn't see anyone with purple and black hair. Byakuya sat down next to Rukia.

"Where's Izaya? Did he sleep in again?" Byakuya asked them in concern.

"He wasn't in his room, captain. We're surprised that he's not even here with us." Renji said as he gulped.

Byakuya nodded and saw his lieutenant Alice stood up. She walked up to Hanataro as she tapped on his shoulder. Hanataro looked at her and smiled.

"Oh, good morning, Lieutenant Akiko! How are you?" Hanataro asked her as he smiled.

"I'm alright, umm sorry to interrupt, but have you guys seen Izaya anywhere?" Alice asked squad four as they all looked at each other.

"No. He hasn't come in today. It's fine that he's sleeping in. It's been a long week anyways." Captain Unohana said to Alice as she smiled.

"Right. Well the thing is that he wasn't in his room when we checked on him. He and his phone are gone." Alice said as she gulped.

The whole squad four all looked at her as they tilted their heads.

"Are you telling us that Izaya could be missing?" Isane said as she stood up.

Then it got quiet as everyone heard her. Alice can feel all eyes on them as she shut them closed. Isane looked at everyone as she gulped.

"Now now, let's all calm down. Izaya is still new. He's still probably lurking around the soul society. He and lieutenant Akiko are still pretty new here." Captain Kyoraku said as he walked up to squad four giving them a smile.

"Don't listen to him you guys, he's drunk. Lieutenant Kotestu, Lieutenant Akiko, are you two sure you haven't heard from Lieutenant Kuchiki?" Nano asked them as she adjusted her glasses.

Both Alice and Isane gulped as they both looked at each other. Then Rukia walked up to them.

"He's alright! He's in the world of the living." Rukia said as she had received a text message from her little brother.

"Oh? So he's not missing then? Well that's good then. Just a small false alarm everyone. Nothing to worry about." Captain Kyoraku said as everyone shrugged and went back to their business.

Alice grabbed Rukia's wrist as she walked her out of the kitchen and leaned against the wall. Rukia smiled at her.

"He really is, Alice. I'm just about to ask him why he's there though. Maybe buying some sweets." Rukia said as she smiled at her.

Alice looked at Rukia. Her gut is telling her that something is wrong. "I'm going to change clothes. I think something is wrong with Izaya." Alice said as she hugged Rukia and ran to her room.

Rukia watched her go as Renji ran out of the kitchen to his room also. Rukia frowned as she texted her little brother to see what's really going on with him.

"I'm fine sis. I'll be home in a few hours. I just…..need to be alone right now." Izaya sent the text as he sat down on the bench. Izaya had just hurt himself as he bandaged up his wrists. He looked at the other Espadas & Arrancars heading inside the mall. Luppi wasn't with them. Izaya sighed as teared up.

Then somebody behind him gulped as he walked up to Izaya and tapped on his shoulder. Izaya opened his eyes as he looked behind him. The person had disappeared. Izaya sighed as he looked in front of him as he gasped.

"What the hell do you want, Gremmy?!" Izaya said as he stood up, growling at him.

"Izaya, chill. I'm not here to harass you. I just-" Gremmy saw Izaya's bandaged wrists as he looked back at him.

Izaya hid them as he turned away from Gremmy and cried. Gremmy frowned as he sat on the bench. Izaya sat back down and wiped his tears away.

"I heard what happened Izaya. I'm so sorry." Gremmy said as he sighed.

"You did? I don't know how I'm going to tell my siblings. They'll probably tell me not to date anyone who's an arrancar and espada." Izaya said as he sniffled.

"What about a sternritter? I mean, someone like me? I won't ever do anything to hurt you like your ex did." Gremmy said as he scooted closer to Izaya.

Izaya looked at him and stood up. "Back off! I just have my heart broken and you're trying to make me move on so quickly?! I don't date right away, Gremmy." Izaya said as he stepped back.

"Izaya wait! I really do like you! I can't stop thinking about you and….I really wanna take you out on a date!" Gremmy said as he teared up.

Izaya calmed down as he looked at Gremmy. He walked up to him and put his hand on his cheek. Gremmy looked at him as his tears were falling down from his eyes.

"You're not just saying this to get in my pants are you? You really mean it? Do you really like like me?" Izaya asked Gremmy as they both sat down on the bench.

"I'm serious, Izaya. I'm sorry for everything, especially harassing you about the blood war. I really do like you. I think you deserve so much better and someone who won't break your heart." Gremmy said as he put his hand on Izaya's cheek.

Izaya looked away as he sighed. "Gremmy, I don't know…..I have major trust issues. What if you're just saying that to get in my pants and then leave me…?" Izaya said as he began to tear up again.

"Izaya, I won't. I'm serious too. I'm not like your ex. I…Izaya…..I literally never dated before." Gremmy said as he leaned back.

"You never dated before? What you don't like any of your army?" Izaya asked Gremmy as he wiped his tears away.

"Pffft, fuck no. As Nodt is too harsh and cruel. Jugram is already with Bazz-B. And yeah. But Izaya, when I first met you I didn't know how I would get over you, but for some reason I really do like you. I mean look at you, you are so pretty and I love your hair. The purple dye fits you." Gremmy flirted with Izaya as he smiled.

Izaya only nodded. Still not sure how to react to relationships no more. He then looked back at Gremmy. Gremmy scooted close to Izaya and held onto his hand.

"I wanna take you out on a date, okay? I promise you it'll be perfect." Gremmy said as he smiled at Izaya.

Izaya sighed. "Fine. Meet me here at five PM. Make sure no one is here with you. We're doing this on a weekend." Izaya said as he stood up.

Gremmy gasped happily as he hugged Izaya. "Thank you! Thank you, Izaya~! I literally can't wait now~! Here take my number, you can tell me what you like and I'll make sure you'll get it." Gremmy said as he giggled.

Izaya rolled his eyes. "But, if this date fails and you're just trying to get into my pants and then leave me like I was some kind of boy toy to you, I'm having my siblings to cut you up. Got it?" Izaya said as he gripped onto Gremmy's shirt.

"I got it, Izaya.~ No worries, this date will be perfect for you. I promise." Gremmy said as he smiled, going back to his normal self.

Izaya rolled his eyes and let go of him. "I'm heading home. My sister is looking for me. I'll see you later." Izaya said as he headed inside the gate.

Gremmy watched him go as he squealed happily. He was in his own little world as he twirled, picking out a flower as he sniffed it. He inhaled the air as he moaned happily. He laid on the bench as he grinded on it where Izaya sat at & sniffed his scent.

"Oooooh.~ This is going to be amazing~! Izaya boo, you're going to really forget about your ex in no time once you're with me.~" Gremmy said to himself as he stood back up and twirled again. Not noticing that two soul reapers were watching him as Gremmy bumped into one.

"Ooop. Whoa! I'm sorry. I'm just so happy right now.~" Gremmy said as he sniffed the flower again.

"Right. We can see that. Where is Izaya? We're looking for him." Renji asked Gremmy as Gremmy didn't even hear him.

Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed Gremmy by his shoulder. "Hey, we're talking to you. Where's Izaya? Have you seen him?" Alice asked him as she raised an eyebrow.

Gremmy scoffed as he folded his arms. "He just went back to the soul society. So you two just missed him." Gremmy said as he picked up another flower and sniffed it.

"Damn it. Welp, let's head back to the soul society, Alice." Renji said as he opened the gate and the two headed back inside.

Izaya had arrived as he walked back to his room. He was wet from the rain, he had dark circles under his eyes, his black nail polish were chipped off. His wrists were sore as he groaned at the feeling of the blood still coming out. Gin saw Izaya as he walked up to him.

"Lieutenant Kucihki, there ya are. Are ya okay?" Gin asked Izaya as he felt Izaya's forehead.

Izaya was so weak that he fainted. Gin gasped as he grabbed him. He called out for help. Everyone ran to his aid as Rukia gasped. Squad four had Izaya in a bed as they took him to their squad. Rukia had tears in her eyes as she looked at Byakuya. Byakuya hugged her. Wanting to know what's going on with Izaya. Then he looked back when Renji & Alice came back from the world of the living.

"C-Captain. We're sorry. We were in the world of the living looking for Izaya. Gremmy said that he had returned back here." Renji explained to his captain as he noticed that everyone was staring at him.

"What? We had a gut feeling that something was wrong with him." Alice said as she looked at everyone.

"Wait, did you two say 'Gremmy'? Wasn't he harassing Izaya about the blood war we endured, was he?" Rangiku asked them as she tilted her head.

Both Renji and Alice both sighed. Can't even explain anything else anymore. Then Captain Unohana walked up to Rukia and Byakuya as she sighed. She looked at them with sadness in her eyes.

"Captain Unohana, is everything okay? Is Izaya hurt?" Byakuya asked her as he walked up to her.

"It's best that you and Rukia come see him. He's in really bad shape right now." Captain Unohana said as sighed & turned around.

Both Rukia and Byakuya looked at each other and nodded as they followed her. Alice & Renji were a little curious as they followed behind them. Everyone grew quiet as they were all curious about Izaya's state.

Whew, that was one hell of a heart ache. I don't know who to ship Izaya with so I'll have him with Gremmy & see how it goes!

I hope y'all enjoyed this fanfic though! :D