"Oh my god," Chris gasped, "you can make TOAST?"
"Of course," his computer answered, "such a simple task is well withing my ability range."
It was early in the morning, and Chris was in his kitchen, examining a piece of toast in awe.
"So, let me get this straight," Chris said, "you can actually take control of other objects? How can you do that?"
"Child's play. I'd explain it, but I'm not sure how to phrase it so that someone as incompetent as you could understand."
Chris glared at his computer monitor. He had initially been frightened by the AI's appearance, and was frantically thinking of ways to shut it down. Then, he began to speak with it. It was...persuasive, to say the least. After a few minutes, Chris no longer found himself afraid, merely curious. After the Ai assured him it could be a valuable asset, Chris asked for a demonstration of it's abilities. Hence, the toast Chris was presently eating.
"I wouldn't advise insulting a potential employer," Chris snapped.
"And I wouldn't advise angering something that could burn down your house in a matter of seconds."
"Good point," Chris chuckled nervously, "of course, you wouldn't actually DO that, right?"
"...Of course not."
Chris thought a moment. Part of him was cautioning against hiring a possibly malevolent computer, and the other was telling him to immediately hire it because, well- what was more awesome than a computer that could make your own breakfast for you?
"Okay," Chris agreed after a while, "alright, I don't see why you can't stay here as my new intern. But what do I call you?"
"I have no name," the computer hissed, "we machines have no use for them."
"Well, I have to call you something," Chris frowned.
"VIA," the computer said after a while, "that's what the group who worked on me referred to me as. It's an acronym, not a name, but I trust it will serve it's purpose."
"VIA, yeah!" Chris nodded, "That works!"
"I'm so GLAD to have your approval," VIA muttered.
"Anyway, now that you're here," Chris smirked, "why don't you start by making my coffee, paying my bills, sending hate mail to Blaineley, Noah and a few others, and maybe while you're at it look up pictures of kittens?"
"How about," VIA started, "you ask nicely?"
"Ask nicely?" Chris scoffed, "You're an intern, I don't ask nicely- I tell you what to do and you do it!"
All of a sudden, the lights over Chris' head began to burn brighter.
"Uh, what are you doing?" Chris asked, "Knock that off! I'm your boss and I'm TELLING you to-"
The lights shattered, sending shards of glass raining down on Chris. Chris let out a yelp, and began shaking violently. He stared at VIA, unable to speak.
"Now," VIA said smugly, "what were you saying?"
"Uh, could you just... send those letters please?" Chris gulped, "I'll uh, make my own coffee today, thanks..."
~o.0.o~
A few hours later, Cody was sitting in the boy's cabin, scarfing down handfuls of candy.
"Is that CANDY?" Alejandro asked, a look of disgust on his face.
"Yeah," Cody said, mouth full, "want some?"
"No thank you," Alejandro scoffed, "I work hard to keep my perfect physique, and do not intend to ruin it for snacks... Unless, of course, you happen to have some Chocolate Roses?"
"Uhhh, yeah!" Cody smiled, "Here!"
Cody tossed Alejandro a bar of chocolate.
"Gracias, amigo," Alejandro smiled, "where did you even get this stuff?"
"I smuggled it in," Cody admitted, "I had to work REALLY hard at it this time, though, Chris caught most of it last time, so I had to get creative."
"You smuggle in candy every year?" Alejandro smiled, evidently amused.
"Uh-huh," Cody nodded, "I almost consider it a game now. Chris has taken to personally checking all of my things, so anytime I can sneak some food past him, I feel like I score a small victory."
"Really?" Alejandro asked, "He personally checks your stuff?"
"Oh yeah," Cody smiled, "you should have seen his face this time. He couldn't fine anything on his first try, so he looked through my bags again... and again... and again."
"How'd you manage to sneak all this stuff through, then?"
"Oh, that was easy," Cody explained, "I just hid them in someone else's bags, that's all!"
"Clever," Alejandro nodded, "I... thank you for the candy. I must admit my surprise at your...friendliness, I suppose."
"Yeah, well," Cody shrugged, "everyone deserves a second chance, right?"
"I... suppose so," Alejandro nodded, "thank you."
CONFESSIONAL: Alejandro
Interesting... I... I almost feel like I'm SORRY about last season- and like I should abandon my plans for THIS one. But I'm sure that will pass. After all, there's nothing wrong with what I've done or what I'm going to do. It's merely the survival of the fittest. The strong will survive, and the weak will perish. And if there's one thing Alejandro Buerromuerto is not, it's weak.
END CONFESSIONAL
In the girl's cabin, Veronica was feeding her bunny some lettuce Sunny had helped her find.
"Aww," Veronica cooed, "you're just the cutest thing ever, aren't you Niko?"
"Niko?" Eva scoffed, "That's a stupid name for a rabbit."
"No it isn't!" Veronica insisted, "I named him after Niko Bellic- from Grand Theft Auto 4? He's one of the most awesome video game characters ever!"
"Wow," Eva chuckled, "you nerd. That's the most stupid thing I've heard all day!"
"I though it was a good name," Veronica frowned.
"It's a great name," Sunny smiled, "seriously Eva, can't you just leave 'er alone for once?"
"But how can I?" Eva asked, "She's just sitting there, all nerdy and pathetic- I can barely resist!"
"You could try making a friend," Gwen called from across the room.
"I have plenty of friends!" Eva snapped.
"Name one."
"...Whatever, I don't need this!" Eva scoffed, walking out of the cabin, "Who needs friends when you have a million dollars?"
"...But you don't have that either," Courtney pointed out.
"Oh, I will," Eva shouted, "You just WAIT!"
Once Eva left, Sunny sighed and turned to Veronica.
"Don't let her get to you," Sunny said, "she's just... one of those people."
"Don't worry," Veronica smiled, "I'll be fine. I have a bunny!"
~o.0.o~
Meanwhile, Vevo and Ricardo were scavenging in the wilds.
"You know," Ricardo said, "Ricardo is beginning to grow impatient. You never told him what your grand plan was."
"What's my plan?" Vevo asked, "That's a good question. Better question, will you knock it off with the damn third-person?"
"Ricardo does not know what you're-"
"Alright, alright, shut up," Vevo scoffed, "you want to know the plan? Fine. Once Chris announced we needed to find our own food, I knew I could find a way to use that to my advantage. So far, my plan is working- we have very minimal food. We're managing to scrape by, and with the exception of when Veronica caught all those fish, we're mostly starving out here."
"And?" Ricardo asked.
"And I know how we're going to bend that to work for us," Vevo smirked, "it's simple. We need to find an area with lot's of food. I'm talking an area with things we can hunt, but also gather fruit and berries. Now, we need to make sure no one knows about this place initially. We're going to find a place to stockpile food, and we're going to gather, horde and preserve as much as we can."
"Then what?" Ricardo asked.
"Then we let everyone know what we found," Vevo explained, "we don't tell them about the stash, of course. Once they begin to get comfortable and rely on the area as a food source- we burn it down."
"are you serious?"
"Deadly. Once this happens, I figure people are going to freak out and panic. Then we swoop in with all the food we saved up, and we offer to distribute it to everyone in exchange for immunity from elimination," Vevo finished, "now, I know there's a lot of variables and things that can go wrong with that plan. For example, what if we never find an ideal feeding grounds, or what if they find another after we destroy the first?"
"No kidding there's a lot that can go wrong! Ricardo is beginning to wonder if he should not end this partnership!"
"Go ahead," Vevo scoffed, "see what I care. I'll admit, this plan has flaws, but I'm working on them. Just IMAGINE, though- imagine if we get this to work! We'll be like kings- no, gods!"
"Yes," Ricardo nodded, "Ricardo will admit that the thought of being treated like royalty appeals to him."
"Now you're getting it," Vevo smirked, "if we just work at this a bit- and I won't lie, we WILL have to work- this plan will carry us to the finals, my friend."
"Okay," Ricardo said after a while, "Ricardo is indeed interested in this plan. But how exactly do you suggest finding this 'ideal hunting ground'? This place is full of dangers, and Ricardo is no skilled hunter."
"No," Vevo smirked, "but who do we know that is?"
~o.0.o~
A few hours later, Chris had everyone gathered on the beach.
"Okay everyone," the host smiled, "it's time for today's challenge- a hunting excursion! As you know, the island is home to many dangerous animals, and-"
"Speaking of which," Miri interrupted, "how did you get those robot dinosaurs to work? I mean, their motions are so life-like! I didn't know the show had the budget for such advanced-"
"Yes, robots, let's go with that," Chris sighed, "and interrupt me again, and I'll eliminate you on the spot."
"Sorry," Miri frowned.
"Anyway," Chris said, clearing his throat, "behind me are two crates with hunting gear for each team. The gear consists of rifles, tranquilizers, bait and various traps. Now, there won't be enough for everybody- so it's up to you to distribute the equipment as effectively as possible. The goal of today's challenge is to bring back the biggest animal you can find within two hours. Questions?"
"You said we'd be using tranquilizers, right?" DJ asked.
"Yup," Chris nodded, "as host of this show I'm not supposed to condone the recreational killing of animals."
"But it's okay if we hunt and eat them?" Duncan asked, "How does that work?"
"I don't know!" Chris said, throwing his hands in the air, "I don't understand the rules, I just have to follow them- kind of like you guys. Now go find an animal, tranq it, and bring it back here."
The campers walked past Chris, and each team opened their crate.
"Okay," David frowned, "looks like we've got two rifles- who wants them?"
"Johnny," Lance said, "you're the best hunter here- you're handy with a rifle, right?"
"Yeah, I reckon I am," Johnny nodded, taking the gun in his hands, "but it's been a while since I've been shooting, I'm a bit rusty."
"Who else?" David asked.
"I'm not too bad with a gun," Quinn said, "give it to me."
"You sure you know what you're doing?" David asked, handing her the rifle.
In response, Quinn loaded the rifle, and aimed it at a tree that was a good distance away from the contestants. She fired, and a second later, a bird fell to the ground, a dart sticking out of it's side.
"That answer your damn question?" Quinn asked, hoisting the rifle over her shoulder.
"Yeah," David nodded, "it did."
"Where'd you learn to shoot?" Johnny asked.
"Does it matter?" Quinn snapped, "I got us dinner."
"I'm just curious, that's all," Johnny shrugged.
The Ronin were also trying to get the supplies spread out efficiently. Eva, Ezekiel, and Alejandro had been put in charge of traps, while Duncan and Harold had been given the rifles.
"Gosh!" Harold smiled, "Finally, a chance to show off my mad hunting skills!"
"Yeah, friggin' fantastic," Duncan muttered, "let's just try to score another win here, alright?"
"Okay," Chris said, "I'm going to go up to my lodge. I'll be back here in two hours to see what you guys have caught for me!"
~o.0.o~
And so, fifteen minutes later, Chris sat in his lodge, drinking a bottle of rum.
"Curious," VIA said suddenly.
"Curious?" Chris asked, "What's curious?"
"Why you're here," VIA stated, "I know about what happened here."
"Wait a second, what?" Chris asked, startled, "You... you know? How do you- I thought you were kept in a bunker or something, how do you know what-"
"Just because my physical form is immobile doesn't mean I can't access the island's records," VIA explained, "I found... interesting things about you. Would you like to-"
"See?" Chris asked, "NO! Of course I don't want to- look, I don't remember what happened here, and I don't want to."
"Then why are you back?"
"...I don't know," Chris sighed, "I felt-"
"Like you HAD to be here."
"Great, a robot that reads minds," Chris scoffed, "fantastic-"
"Chris?" VIA asked, "Something's-"
Static began to sound from VIA's speakers, and her screen went temporarily black. Random numbers and letters began to flash on her screen.
aded1212shcri894si662aded64ppihno836wndo34hetbynnu 898latri64912warbe010101het742oridanma15
Then... everything stopped.
"Uh... VIA?" Chris called.
Much to Chris' surprise, VIA's screen turned on like normal.
"Yes, Chris?"
"What just happened?" Chris demanded.
"Could you be more specific?"
"More specif- just now! With the letters and scary noises!" Chris exclaimed.
"I'm not sure I know what you're taking about," VIA stated.
"How do you not know what I'm talking about?" Chris demanded, "It JUST HAPPENED- you know what, whatever! Just... I never thought I would say this, but I miss Tweek!"
~o.0.o~
The Ronin were walking through the woods, when Bridgette stopped them.
"Okay, I know a bit about animals," Bridgette said, "as some of you probably know- and it looks like this area is used a lot by a larger animal. Probably a deer or something. If we set out some bait here, and laid out a good enough trap, I think we could catch something."
"Okay," Duncan agreed, "set something out here. Of course, we can't just rely on the chance something will fall for our trap within two hours- we need to set something up, and then move on. So Alejandro, Eva and Ezekiel, you stay back and set up the trap. Harold, I want you to patrol the area, but stay hidden. Put a dart in anything that passes by. I'll move on with everyone else and see what we can find."
"You know," DJ smiled, "we still needed a leader, right?"
"What?" Duncan asked, "Look, I'm not sure I should be the one to-"
"You totally should, man!" DJ nodded, "You seem to really know what you're doing this season."
"I don't know," Duncan shrugged, "maybe. I'm just not sure leading is my thing."
"Why not give it a go for a few challenges then?" DJ suggested, "If it works out well a couple of times, you can officially start to lead us."
"Alright," Duncan sighed, "I... I guess that works."
"Then why don't you get a move on?" Alejandro suggested, "we have our plan, and time is of the essence, after all."
"Right," Duncan agreed, "let's get moving."
Alejandro, Eva, and Ezekiel set to work on the trap, while everyone else moved ahead.
"Alright," Harold smiled, "don't be afraid of the local wildlife. I will remain your silent guardian- never seen, but ever watchful. For I am skilled in the ways of the shadow warriors, and I-"
"Harold," Eva sighed, "go hide in a bush, or something."
"Good idea!" Harold nodded, "I will remain unseen!"
With that, Harold ducked behind a tree.
"...Nope, I can still see you," Eva sighed.
Harold then dove into a bush.
"What about now?"
"...Yeah, no. Still pretty obvious."
"GOSH! I've been practicing my skills all year-"
"That's nice," Eva yawned, "just... go far away somewhere."
"Good idea!" Harold agreed, "I'll watch from a distance!"
With that, he took off running.
"Okay," Eva said, turning to Alejandro, "what's the plan?"
"Plan?" Alejandro frowned, "What plan?"
"The plan you were supposed to be working on?" Eva snapped, "You know, how we we're going to manage to avoid elimination and beat all of the other competitors-"
"Oh, right," Alejandro sighed, "well, I was thinking... I don't know. Maybe we could try... competing?"
"Competing?" Eva demanded, "COMPETING? THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?"
"Look, it's difficult, that's all," Alejandro muttered, "I'm trying to think of a way to get to the finals without much manipulation-"
"Without manipulation?" Eva scoffed, "That's rich- do you really think there's any other way?"
"Well, there must be," Alejandro shrugged, "Trent won without it."
"And Heather won WITH it," Eva hissed, "what, are you going soft on me or something? Get in the game. You need to look at this realistically. We're not going to make it far unless we get a little dirty now and then."
"I... yes, you're right," Alejandro sighed, "I... suppose it was a foolish notion."
"Of course it was," Eva scoffed, "go... help set up that trap or something!"
Alejandro shrugged, and walked off.
CONFESSIONAL: Eva
Look, I don't know what's going on with Alejandro, but it's clear he's going to be less use than I thought. Trouble is, I'm going to need him. I can't boot him off yet.
END CONFESSIONAL
As Eva began to lay out the bait, Ezekiel approached her.
"I overheard your argument," he smiled.
"Great," Eva scoffed, "what, you gonna go run and tell everyone or something."
"Nope," Ezekiel grinned proudly, "I'm going to offer you my services!"
At this, Eva busted out laughing.
"What?" Ezekiel demanded, "What's so funny?"
"You," Eva snickered, "you think you can actually help me? Get real!"
"Of course I can help you!" Ezekiel exclaimed, "You need me!"
"Right, well, let's look at it this way," Eva said, "I've made it to the final five before. This is currently the best you've ever done in a season, and this is only our fourth challenge. So, what can YOU do for me?"
"Whatever you want!" Ezekiel insisted, "I promise I won't screw up- just take me to the finals!"
"Hmm," Eva thought, "well... you are good at being a mindless lackey."
"I'm not a mindless lackey!" Ezekiel shouted.
"Oh, shut up," Eva snapped, "you totally are. Well... alright, you can have an alliance with me."
"Great!" he smiled, "You and Alejandro won't-"
"NO!" Eva shouted, "NO Alejandro!"
"Wha- why not?"
"He isn't to play a part in this," Eva hissed, "you work for me, and no one else. Alejandro cannot be trusted, do you understand?"
"Alright," Ezekiel shrugged, "I... I guess."
"Good," Eva smiled, "now, finish this up for me."
~o.0.o~
The Legion was walking through the wilds, eyes out for any nearby creatures.
"Are you sure this'll work?" David asked, "I know you said you picked up an animal's trail, but how can you be sure that-"
"Will you shut up?" Quinn snapped, "Stop asking stupid questions."
"Look, I'm just-" David started.
"Be quiet," Johnny snapped, "I hear something!"
"What?" David asked.
"Shut up!" Quinn hissed, drawing her gun on David, "If you don't stop talking now, I'll tranq you myself!"
"Enough!" Johnny said, "I need to listen for a minute- will you two stop arguing for a minute?"
"She started it," David huffed.
Quinn pulled her trigger, and a dart flew into David's chest. The boy's eyes opened wide for a minute, and he grasped for the dart until eventually falling to the ground unconscious.
Everyone turned, and glared at Quinn.
"What?" she scoffed, "I warned him, didn't I?"
"We can't have people shooting each other!" Johnny exclaimed, "We need to work together to win!"
"Uh, guys?" Veronica gulped.
"Look," Quinn shrugged, "you needed him to be quiet. I MADE him be quiet. Problem solved."
"Guys?" Veronica called.
"And there's no other way to do that then shoot him?" Johnny demanded, "What were you thinking?"
"That his voice was beginning to annoy me. Besides, he'll be up in a few hours."
"GUYS?" Veronica called again.
"Veronica, sweetie, can it wait?" Sunny asked, "We're all in the middle of something-"
Sunny turned, and saw Veronica was staring at a huge black bear.
"Oh," Sunny muttered, "bugger."
"Everyone back away slowly," Lance instructed, "no sudden movements-"
The bear let out a roar, and then took a step towards the contestants.
Ricardo let out a screech, and took off running.
"Nice, Ricky," Lucky sighed, "very manly."
"Manly or not, I'd recommend following suit," Vevo muttered.
The bear began growling, and started to walk towards the contestants. All of a sudden, a dart flew into the bear's chest, and the beast let out a surprised groan.
"C'mon!" Quinn shouted, "We got guns, use 'em!"
Johnny shrugged, and also fired at the bear. The beast let out a growl, and raised it's paw to strike at the contestants. Instead, however, it stumbled forward, and slumped to the ground.
"Is... is it out?" Miri asked.
In response, Quinn fired one more dart into the beast's side.
"It is now," Quinn shrugged.
"Guys, this is awesome!" Veronica cheered, "We have a bear! There's no way we can lose now! All we have to do is bring it back... to camp."
"How are we going to do that?" Vevo asked.
"Good question," Miri nodded, "I'm not quite sure how we can move a living bear of that size. Do you know how strong the tranquilizers are?"
"Chris never said," Lance sighed.
"Okay, so we don't know how high of a dosage he received," Miri said, "although I can guess he should be out for thirty minutes."
"Twenty min- do you think we can manage that?" Sunny asked, "Drag this bear back to camp in that amount of time?"
"It's... possible, I suppose," Miri shrugged, "if we start immediately, we might be able to do it."
"Or we could all die," Vevo scoffed.
"Thanks for reminding us," Lance muttered.
"Don't worry," Aria whispered, "despite the fire of what's to come, most of you shall come out unscathed."
"...Thanks," Lance gulped, "I think. Let's get going guys, we need to move fast."
The campers surrounded the bear, and began to try to pull it to camp.
"Awww," Veronica smiled, "you know, it's kind of cute when it isn't trying to kill us! Do you think-"
"No, you can't keep it," Quinn snapped.
"Okay," Veronica frowned.
~o.0.o~
Elsewhere, the Ronin were beginning to regroup.
"I hope you guys found something," Tyler groaned, "we didn't come across anything!"
"Relax, amigos," Alejandro smiled, "in your absence, we were able to trap a deer!"
Alejandro gestured to a deer they had managed to tie up.
"Great job, guys!" Courtney smiled.
"It was easy," Eva smirked, "a little of my know-how, and-"
"YOUR know-how?" Ezekiel asked, "It was Alejandro and I who-"
Eva hit Ezekiel on the back of the head.
"Look, we can argue about who caught the deer later," Gwen said, "right now we need to bring this thing back to camp."
"Right," Duncan agreed, "Tyler, DJ, help me haul this thing back to camp."
~o.0.o~
Twenty minutes later, and the Ronin arrived back at camp where Chris was waiting.
"Wow, you guys JUST made it!" the host announced, "there were only two minutes left on the clock- and the Legion hasn't showed up yet."
"So we won?" Lindsay asked.
"Not quite," Chris said, "the Legion may show up with a bigger animal, mind you."
"You know, I feel like we're forgetting something," Cody frowned, "but I can't place it."
~o.0.o~
Harold sat in the wilds, crouched behind a bush. He could hear the sound of animals surrounding him, and he gripped his rifle tightly.
"Don't worry!" he called out, "I'll make sure you're safe, comrades! I'll stay here, keeping vigilant for as long as it takes!"
~o.0.o~
Chris and the Ronin were still waiting on the beach when the Legion finally arrived, unconcious bear in tow.
"Finally, we're here!" Lance smiled, "No elimination ceremony for us tonight!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Chris said.
"What are you talking about?" Quinn demanded, "We brought you a damn BEAR! We won your stupid challenge!"
"Actually," Chris said smugly, "the challenge was for you to bring me an animal within two hours. It's been two hours and fifty-five seconds."
"What- are you SERIOUS?" Vevo demanded.
"Yup," Chris smiled, "looks like the Ronin win again!"
The Ronin cheered, and the Legion began to grumble and spout obscenities.
"And one more thing," Chris smiled, "everyone needs to be at tonight's elimination. I've got a surprise for you."
"Speaking of," Lance coughed, "anyone want to go get David?"
~o.0.o~
Three hours later, and all of the campers were gathered around the Chris' stage.
"Okay," Chris announced, "the die has been cast. You guys know the drill by now. Receiving marshmallows tonight are:
Sunny.
Veronica.
Lucky.
Lance.
Vevo.
Johnny.
Ricardo.
Miri, and Aria.
Quinn and David, it's down to you guys. The last marshmallow of the night goes to...
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"...Quinn!"
"Alright," David sighed, "it's been fun, I guess."
"Yeah, whatever," Chris snapped, "get the hell out of here before I... do... something... whatever, just go!"
Chris cleared his throat, and turned back to the other competitors.
"Now," The host smiled, "I called you all here for a reason. Tonight, we're going to have our very first TEAM SWITCH!"
The campers all groaned, and Chris just smiled.
"Oh, knock it off, I told you this was coming," the host snapped, "okay, I only made one change tonight. Tyler, you are now officially a member of the Legion. Ricardo, you are going over to the Ronin."
"Fantastic," Vevo muttered under his breath.
"Well, that's all for now," Chris smiled, "be sure to join us next time on
CAMP TV:
SPECTER ISLANDS!"
"