Chapter 11

Sira opened the door to her house after hearing a series of loud knocks on it. A smile formed on her face as she saw who it was, she was truly glad to see them again for they had been god for a while now and she hadn't heard from them during that time either. "Cal! Lark!" Sira said, a bit too joyous. "It's good to see you! Come in." She welcomed them into her home, Cal had a smile on her face as she looked from Lark to her, and she acted like she had something she wanted to say. Lark's arm wrapped around her shoulder as Sira led them into the living room.

"So how was the honeymoon?" she asked as they all sat down, her in a chair and Cal and Lark on the sofa. Cal looked at Lark with mischief entering her ice-blue eyes and then looked back at Sira.

"It was wonderful, perfect," Cal stated compassionately. "It couldn't have been more perfect." Sira's smile grew a bit wider as she studied them, wondering when it would be the right time to tell them her news. She could barely believe that she managed to do it, but she had no regrets and she knew that they would be glad she did. "We have some news for you, Sira," Cal said smoothly as Lark's attention shifted from Cal to Sira, his emerald eyes glittering with warmth as he looked at her.

"And I have news for you," she stated proudly. Cal's eyes turned puzzled as her head cocked to the side a little.

"Really?" Cal asked, her curiosity filling her voice just as Lark's filled his eyes.

"Yes, but you first," Sira said with a light laugh. "I can wait."

Everything was silent as Cal's smile grew on her face, her eyes gleaming with her excitement for her friend to know. She was going to make her guess. Lark pulled Cal a little nearer, a small smile forming on his face as he did so. Sira gazed at them, waiting for an answer that she knew would never come as her eyes became a bit duller, clouded with her thoughts. She racked her mind, thinking of what Cal's new was. Suddenly, she came to it. She didn't believe it, she couldn't believe it.

"Cal," she said rapidly as she jumped to her feet, her eyes wide with her disbelief, "you're pregnant?" Cal's smile grew wider as she watched her friend, who was in total and utter shock.

"Yeah," she replied as Lark let out a chuckle at Sira's surprise, her extremely-frazzled surprise.

"Don't act so surprised, Sira," Lark said to her cockily. Sira drew in a long breath as she closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she looked at Cal, who was smiling with her amusement. "I just never thought that you would be pregnant, Cal. That's why I'm so shocked." Cal laughed as she shook her head a little.

"It's okay, Sira," she said, her voice sounding certain and sure of herself. "It would be the same for me if you told me you were pregnant." Then, the certainty left her eyes and she leaned forward in her seat. "Are you pregnant, Sira? Is that your news?" Sira didn't know if she should be stunned or if she should be bursting out with laughter. Her eyes grew wide and her body stiffened.

"No," she stated as she shook her head. She walked over to a small table in the corner of the room and picked up a Daily Prophet and then walked back to them. She handed Cal the paper and then sat back down in her chair. "Read the headline," she whispered as a smile reformed on her face. Lark leaned close to Cal, their eyes curious and puzzled.

"A New Development in the Case of Sira Volkov, Guard to be Hired Back," Cal breathed, gazing at the words as if she didn't know what to believe. Lark's eyes shot up to Sira, burning with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"What did you do?" he asked in total shock.

"I got you your job back," she said proudly as she gave him a kind smile. "It wasn't easy but I got it back for you and it helped that I'm a Death Eater and that the Ministry is being controlled by us now. All I had to do was tell some officials that my escape was not your fault and that it was an error of security in the hospital. I told them that you were in no way responsible for it and, after a while, they believed me and agreed to offer you back your job. Thank goodness I was cleared of all charges for the time being so I could do this for you." His eyes were still in disbelief but she saw a flicker of gratitude in them.

"You really did this?" Cal asked, finally looking up from the paper. Her eyes were rimmed with tears. "You really did this for us?"

"Yes," she whispered with a little nod of her head. "I really did." Cal stood quickly and rushed over to Sira, who stood as she approached. She threw arms around her friend as the tears streaked down her face. She was so grateful for Sira helping them; she didn't think she could ever thank her for this.

"Thank you," Cal panted and Lark stood from his seat as she hugged Sira's neck tighter. "Thank you for giving us this." Lark's hand touched her shoulder and she backed away from Sira. His eyes were no longer in disbelief and they were filled with warmth as he studied Sira.

"You're not as bad as I always thought you were," he said softly. "You were able to put aside our differences to do something which you would see no benefit from, to do something selfless. You didn't have to do that, Sira, but you did anyway, even though we dislike each other. Thank you and I'm thankful that you would do such a thing for me. Now, I wonder if I was wrong about you, wrong about how I treated you."

"Lark," she whispered as she gazed into his eyes, "what I did to you was horrible and it was wrong of me to do that to you. You have every right to be angry; I'm still ashamed of it myself."

"But I let my anger fog my vision of you, Sira," he stressed. "I let it consume me and it made me unable to see your shame and your regret. All I knew was that I hated you for you were evil, twisted, and cruel but, truly, you're not. I shouldn't have said the things I've said to you, I was the one who was wrong and I'm sorry for that." He sighed as he shook his head a little. "I forgive you now, Sira, and can you please forgive me so that we could, maybe, be friends?"

"I would like that, Lark," she said with a smile. "I would like that very much. I forgive you." He smiled at her, a kind and warm smile. He hesitated and then moved close to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug. Her body stiffened at his touch, fearing as if it would burn her, but then relaxed into it and closed her eyes. Soon, he moved away from her and she gave him a small smile.

"Thank you again, Sira," he said politely as he wrapped his arm around his wife. She nodded as he gazed into Cal's ice-blue eyes lovingly. "We don't want to keep you," he said gently as his attention returned to her.

"We don't want to over stay our welcome," Cal said kindly as she looked at Sira. "We'll just be going now."

"Cal," Sira breathed, "you're always welcome here but you may leave if you like." She led them to the door and they stepped out. After they told each other their goodbyes, she closed the door and leaned against it, thinking about what had just happened.

The dying light of the sun filled the room as her blue eyes watched the world outside her window change colors. She was all alone, waiting for Scabior to return to her again. Her stomach shifted nervously, something was about to happen, something big. Her heart beat a little quicker and her palms were a little sweaty. She knew something was going to happen and she had the feeling that she should be fleeing for her life. The feeling overwhelmed her, causing her to become antsy.

A burning shot through her left arm, searing her skin, and causing her to jump. Her eyes grew wide as she let out a hiss. Her hand clutched her wrist, her body trembling a little bit with the pain. The burning of her Mark was worse than she had even felt before. She knew that he was angry.

She rushed out of the room without thinking to grab her traveling cloak. Once in the hall, she vanished from the spot with a soft pop.

When she arrived on the doorstep of the Malfoy Manor, the door was slightly ajar and it seemed like nobody was home. She moved through the house, somehow knowing that they would be in the drawing room as she studied the darkness. The air didn't feel right, it caught in her throat.

She reached the door of the drawing room and she pushed the door open slowly. The air in the room was icy the second it touched her skin and it held so much tension she could take it in. As the door closed behind her, everyone's attention shifted to her, even though some of them didn't look at her. Their shares were ominous, oppressive. They stood along the long walls of the room, standing at attention and ready to respond to a command.

"Volkov," a chilling voice hissed, "Come to me." She did as she was told, walking in the middle of the two rows of Death Eaters, walking straight towards the Dark Lord. Her footsteps filled the room as she passed her comrades. Just from their gazes, she knew that something was going to happen to her. Her eyes looked into Voldemort's face, never looking away as she approached. He signaled her to halt when she was directly in the middle of the room and she obeyed.

"I am disgusted with you, Volkov," he said in a cruel hiss as his eyes burned with his rage, "disgusted that you have lost your loyalty to me. You no longer wish to be a Death Eater; you no longer wish to serve me. Are you going back to your precious Order of the Phoenix?" A snicker of laughter filled the air. "Do you want to be back on the 'good' side?" The laughter grew louder as her eyes found Lucius. He looked straight ahead, as if he didn't notice her and her eyes burned with her fury. She knew he did this to her. "Most of them have gone into hiding, refusing to fight anymore. Is that the side you desire to be on? Hmm, Volkov? Because the truth is, you never can.

"You have sworn your loyalty to me when you received that Mark on your left forearm," he snarled, "and now you wish to no longer associate yourself with us, you want nothing to do with us. Being a Death Eater is nothing you can rethink. As you said once before to the Order, it is a death sentence. You will serve me until your death and that is final. There is no leaving, there is no quitting. Once you have given yourself over to me, you are mine forever.

"Only, you believed that you could escape my grasp and leave my service but you were caught before you could slip through my fingers. You will be punished, as will any of you," he stated as he motioned to his other Death Eaters, "for your disloyalty." Narcissa, who stood beside her husband, shot her a nervous look and Sira looked at Cal, who was standing to her left. She looked dead ahead, like Lucius was, and trying not to notice her friend.

"I created you, Sira Volkov," Voldemort said firmly, his tone murderous, "and I can destroy you. I have made you who I wanted you to be and I can break you. I will break you. Tonight, you will be setting an example, an example of what will happen to a Death Eater who steps out of their boundaries, who steps out of line, and, after I am through with you, you will be stripped of your rank and forced to continue on with the lowest and least-honored of my followers, the Snatchers. That is, if you are still whole enough to continue living." A cackle of laughter filled the air as her eyes grew wider, filling with her fear. "You will still be a Death Eater, Volkov, but you will be the lowest of the low, barely a Death Eater anymore." He drew his wand slowly, aiming it at her. "This is what you receive for thinking you can escape me; alone with all of your fellow's mockery of you. I have warned you that this would happen, but sometimes, punishment makes the point very clear. Crucio."

Pain bursted through her body, sending her crumbling to the floor. Her scream caught in her throat, choking her as her muscles spasm. All she could do was lay there on the floor and cry out in her pain. She felt like she was being ripped apart and broken. Sweat beaded up on her forehead as she tried to pick herself off of the floor, only to collapse back to it. Her jaw clenched, her teeth gritting, as she muffled a scream that so desperately wanted to escape her chest. The agony stopped suddenly and she rolled over onto her back, her breaths coming in labored pants, her eyes closed, and her jaw still locked.

She could feel the stares of the Death Eaters on her but she tried not to focus on them, she was desperately trying to close her mind, something she hadn't done in ages. She didn't want Voldemort entering her mind for she knew he would bring forth horrible images that she couldn't dare to witness. The sound of his footsteps came closer to her, she let out a whimper as her body continued to quake. A hiss filled her ears and her body went cold. His hand wrapped around her throat, his grip icy, as he pulled her up to her knees. She refused to open her eyes. Her jaw unclenched and she gasped for breath, panting hard as she threw her head back. "Look at me, Volkov!" he barked as her eyes opened for just an instant.

Fear shot through her heart, making it hammer in her chest. Her mind was open, just like her eyes were, and she could feel him boring into her, his crimson eyes burning with such intensity that she longed to look away but she couldn't. Suddenly, her body went stiff in his grip and then he let her go, allowing her to drop to the floor. She was completely limp, knowing that he was in her mind now, until another tremor went through her, chilling her.
Her mind raced as a wave of pain rolled over her. Her mother's face as she said her goodbye, her uncle Faulkner's hand striking her, Faulkner's cruel words, the eyes of all the people she took out of this world, and her being drug into Azkaban flashed before her eyes, causing her to gasp. More memories joined them, each worse than the last. She wheezed and her shrill scream filled the room, sending a chill through everyone in the room. Some jumped as they continued to watch her, fearful that they would be next to feel her pain. Then, a memory filled her mind and she fell silent.

Sirius was dueling Bellatrix on the stone dais in the Department of Mysteries and he was laughing at her. "Come on you can do better than that!" he bellowed, his proud voice echoing. A jet of light hit him squarely in the chest as his eyes filled with horror but his face was still full of laughter.

Her eyes grew wide and she ripped her hand out of Lucius' grip, watching him with terror.

His body took ages to fall through the tattered veil that hung in that ancient archway.

Her breath caught in her chest as time seemed to stand still.

There was fear in his eyes; she could see it even at the distance she was from him. He fell through, disappearing behind the veil as if fluttered and fell back limply into place. Her body went numb as she heard Bellatrix's scream. She couldn't breathe. "Sirius… no." Her eyes never felt the veil as she spoke the words.

The tears welled up in her eyes as she went into a state of disbelief. "SIRIUS!" she screamed, unknowing that the Death Eaters were hearing it too as the tears poured from her eyes. "SIRIUS!" Her voice was as desperate as it was the day it happened. "SIRIUS!" She couldn't stop screaming his name, even after the memory faded away.

Her hands dug into the floor, trying to grip it as she opened her eyes to see the ceiling of the room in the Malfoy Manor. Her face was wet with her tears as her breath rattled in her chest. Her blue eyes foggy with her pain and her body trembling as she let out a strangled cry out of her throat. Her mind filled with an image again but her eyes were still open.

She felt a pair of arms around her. They were familiar, comforting and assuring. Her eyes opened slowly to see his face, his grey eyes looking back into hers. She was home, finally home. Her body cuddled up to his, acting so innocent as if she had done no wrong in her life. "Sirius," she whispered as a small smile formed on her lips. She was back in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, back in his bed and back in his arms. "Oh how I love you, Sirius." Something flickered in his eyes as he stayed silent. It was something he had never seen in his eyes, repulsion, disgust, and irritation. "What's wrong?" she asked, her happiness turning into concern, as her stomach gave a sickening twist. There was something wrong, something horribly wrong.

He pushed her away from him; he had never done so before, and he shook his head. She sickened him and horror filled her eyes. This can't be happening, she told herself as she gazed at him, frightened for she didn't know what was going on. "Sirius, please talk to me," she panted and he glared at her. His eyes burned with hate and rage, hers grew wide.
"Why would I ever talk to you?" he asked his voice livid and cold. "Why would anyone ever talk to you? You're worthless, heartless, and you barely care about anyone else other than yourself." He ripped the cover off of him and jumped out of the bed, his body brimming with fury. Tear rimmed her eyes, this couldn't be happening.

"Sirius," she pleaded, her blue eyes terrified as she looked at him. He wasn't looking at her; he refused to look at her. She sat up in the bed, her face growing more desperate. "Sirius." he turned to face her, his eyes freezing cold.

"Don't you 'Sirius' me, Sira Volkov," he snapped at her, causing her jaw to drop. Total disbelief filled her, Sirius would never act like this but he was acting like this right now. "We both know that you amount to nothing and that you don't deserve to live. We both know that you don't feel for the people you harm, the people you cause to suffer. You're just scum and it's all you'll ever be." Her tears streaked down her cheeks as her body started to tremble.

"That's not true," she exhaled, her eyes fixed on his angry face, never leaving it. A snarl of disgust broke from his chest as his eyes bored into hers. "Don't you believe me?"

"Why would I ever believe a loose woman like you?" he questioned in a bark, shouting the words at her. His mouth was twisted into a snarl and his body was stiff, as if ready to attack. "You're always flaunting yourself around men, showing off your feminine wares as if you're up for sale to the highest bidder. You're sick; you make me physically ill when I lay next to you because I know that you have lain with more men than just me." She opened her mouth to say something, the tear rolling down her face, but he silenced her. "Don't tell me that you haven't, Sira! I know you have!"

"But, Sirius," she muttered and a sob rattled her body, choking her, "don't you love me?"

He started to laugh at her, a vicious, cruel laugh and her eyes widened even more with her fear. Her hands clutched the sheets of his bed, clinging for dear life, as her body went stiff, never moving from the spot other than the trembling that quaked her. "I hate you, Sira Volkov," he snarled, his words were like a knife stabbing her heart. "I hate everything about you, but especially who you are, who you've become." She winced at his words, they were agonizing. "You don't know how good your life is, you just think that it is so awful and horrible and you make everyone feel the same pain that you force yourself into. I hate you, for that and for everything."

She dropped her eyes from his face, her sobs becoming louder and more painful for her. "Sirius," she begged, wanting the man she knew and loved back and not this monster.
"Don't talk to me!" he barked at her, bringing a new wave of tears to her eyes. "Don't ever talk to me!" He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him as she collapsed onto the bed, her body curling up as if to protect herself. She convulsed whenever she tried to take a breath, Sirius' words were ringing in her ears, in her mind. She felt weak, empty. She didn't want to allow herself to believe it but his words were mostly true and she had a feeling that all of them were. Her eyes closed, unable to stop the tears or his words in her head, as she continued to tremble.

"Sirius, I love you," she whispered, all the eyes of the Death Eaters upon her, as she quaked on the floor, "no matter what you say." A loud sob racked her, causing her to gasp as they continued to stare at her. Cal watched her friend with horror in her ice-blue eyes but she didn't do anything for her, she couldn't do anything for her. She knew if she did, she would be tortured as well and she had another life to think about. Just a few people away, Narcissa looked at her husband nervously as Sira started to whimper. There was a question in her eyes as she looked at him and, when he looked at her, he shook his head. He knew, too, that there was nothing that could help her now. Within the Death Eaters, any idea of leaving had just been slaughtered; they didn't want to have to experience Sira's fate.

The Dark Lord stepped closer to her slowly, his footsteps barely making a sound. Her breathes were ragged, almost wheezes as the tears continued to pour from her eyes. Her arms clutched her knees to her chest, squeezing them harder and harder as she tried to feel something other than pain and nothing. His crimson eyes fixed on her as she continued to sob. "Kill me," she panted as her blue eyes opened slowly, looking dully at her fellow Death Eaters. They didn't respond, they just continued to look at her with shock on their faces. "JUST KILL ME!" she barked, no longer wanting to continue on, no longer wanting to live. His icy laughter filled her ears, chilling her to the bone.

"Maybe you'll think twice about disobeying me, Volkov," the Dark Lord as she shrieked with her grief and her agony. He turned away from her, focusing on one of his Death Eaters. He had broken her, shattered her. "Lucius take her away, get her out of my sight," he ordered flatly.

"Yes, my Lord," Lucius said quickly as he gave him a bow. He walked past his Lord and kneeled next to Sira, his hand resting on her shoulder. He took her arm, dragging her quivering body to her feet, and she let out another whimper. She tried to stand, but she couldn't. She fell to the floor just to be caught by Lucius, who held her close and almost carried her out of the room. She couldn't think, her mind was filled with Sirius' angry words. Her hands clutched Lucius' shirt, just as she had clutched the sheets of Sirius' bed, as he led her out into the hall, away from everything that just happened behind that now-closed door. She hung onto him, her tears streaming down her face. She would never let go of him.