"Ya warm?" Berwald asked.

Idiot. Of course he was. Aside from the fire roaring right in front of them, he was wrapped up in a thick blanket in Berwald's strong arms. Still, in response, he leaned a bit more against the Swede's broad chest, sighing comfortably.

"I met a Dane today," Lukas told him after moment.

Berwald's eyebrow arched a bit as he tried to look down at him. "Oh?"

"He works at the general store in town." He nodded, pressing his cheek against his neck to hide from view. "You'd hate him."

A soft, deep chuckle reverberated through his chest.

They sat together silently only for a minute longer before the taller man took a deep breath and kissed his forehead.

"Let's go to bed." he muttered, getting ready to stand.

Lukas yawned, annoyed at the warmth that had left his side. "Fine,"

He went to stand, but suddenly everything fell away, and he was instead lifted up into Berwald's arms. He gave the order to be put down, but Berwald ignored him and instead gave him another kiss before carrying him to the bed.

"Goodnight, Lukas," he muttered as they curled up together.

He tried to frown, but instead just snuggled closer. "Goodnight, Ber."

Lukas awoke slowly, aware that he had dreamed a memory.

The room was dark, but the faint pale of morning was beginning to creep in through the window. Beside him, Mathias was still sleeping peacefully, his mouth open slightly and his hand brought up near his face. Lukas sighed and rubbed his eye tiredly, surprising himself by finding tears.

This hurt, it had always hurt. He thought he had made peace with it, but, no. He supposed he never really did.

With an annoyed sigh he turned over, trying to shut out the persistent thoughts and the pain in his chest. He didn't succeed, but how the hell he was supposed to defend against something like this? Something that was so powerful, but that came from inside of him. Like a disease.

Lukas fell back asleep with a string of whispered curses on his lips.

The morning followed much more normally as he swallowed down the feelings from the night before with breakfast. The day then passed uneventfully as Mathias and Tino played a few card games, letting Emil in after a few rounds, but then Lukas watched from the couch as he angrily marched away after an hour or so. Ludwig and Berwald were both reading quietly to themselves, and after a bit he decided to go work on the paperwork that was still sitting in the empty room they had designated as the office. He took the papers to the kitchen table and after a few pages Emil found his way down. He offered to help, but mostly just sat beside him and told him of the events that had passed since they had last seen each other. It had been nearly a year, after all, though Lukas talked to Emil more than the others.

He liked Emil. In fact, Lukas sometimes thought that in another life, he and Emil might have been brothers. Even if there were long periods of silence between them when they were together, he knew that just being near the Icelander helped to calm the younger's nerves. He hated to be alone; he didn't need to tell Lukas that for him to see it. He wasn't sure why, but he never talked about his family, so he thought that he might have simply been a lonely child. No one deserved to be lonely, Lukas thought, and even if Emil constantly complained about being around their group, or even people in general, he didn't mean it. Emil also didn't look as tired as he had when they had first arrive, he noticed, and it led Lukas to wonder if sleeping with someone else was helping him to rest better.

"And so I told him—why are you smiling?" Emil demanded, stopping in the middle of his story.

Lukas didn't look up from the paperwork. "Hm?"

Even without looking, he could clearly see the way he was being squinted at suspiciously. It made it harder not to smile.

"What?" he frowned.

"Nothing." Lukas told him.

He finished the paperwork by the time evening came around, but after dinner he somehow failed to notice Mathias and Tino's absence until they returned. Admittedly, it was inevitable, but Lukas still swallowed nervously as Mathias began to pull the bottles out of the bags he had returned with. Tino was grinning happily though, which seemed to make things feel less out of control, but he wasn't sure what they would do if the police arrived and there wasn't a single sober person to get the door. He certainly wasn't going to volunteer himself, though.

When they were all together in the main room, a fire lit in the fireplace against the wall, he began to relax a little more. It had been a long time since they had all gotten drunk together. Not since he and Mathias had moved out, but a while still. Emil ended up at his side, trying to hide his occasional hiccup while Mathias flailed about excitedly about something new every few minutes. Berwald and Ludwig were sitting side by side on the couch, laughing softly to each other and at Mathias being thrown away from them when he tried to sit on Ludwig's lap. With a sigh and another drink he absently thought that if not for this particular situation, he might have really liked Ludwig. He seemed kind and decent, for a deserting German soldier. Mathias seemed to like him. Emil too, in his own way, appeared to enjoy his company. They all had known each other for so long that even he had to admit it was interesting to have a new face in the group, if nothing else.

It grew late and they grew loud quickly.

After another shot with Mathias, Lukas lost his ability to speak almost entirely. It was probably for the best since he ended up shouting at Berwald and Mathias, and what he said had been more honest than he ever would have expressed otherwise. But Berwald just squinted at him as if he was far away and Mathias laughed and expressed himself in loud Danish words of love, making Tino giggle almost hysterically. Emil threw something at him and the room exploded in laughter when it came into contact with his forehead and he cursed loudly as he fell over.

After that he remembered only blurs of color and sound, but he gathered that Emil had gone upstairs and Tino was passed out on the floor beneath the couch, looking far too content to be moved. So, after he realized that Berwald and Ludwig were leaving, he felt a strange ache in his stomach and decided that it was time for him to go, too.

"Hey, were are you going?" Mathias called behind him.

"To bed!" He shouted, but the words still didn't sound right, even though he couldn't figure out what was wrong with them.

"Wait for me!" He laughed, apparently understanding, or perhaps just noticing that he was still climbing the stairs without him.

He stumbled a bit on one of the steps, but it was enough time for Mathias to catch up and sling his good arm around him, though he doubted he would have remembered not to throw his injured one. They struggled up the stairs together and somehow made it to their bedroom. Mathias seemed to have been trying to open the door for him, and he found himself laughing harder than he should have at his stupidly graceful bow. The next bit of blurring consisted of the two of them trying to get their shoes off and then collapsing on the bed. He thought they might have talked for a bit, half lying on each other, but before he could pass out blissfully, he heard a commotion down the hall and the sick feeling returned.

Mathias seemed to realize something had changed, and his eyes widened sadly as he tried to ask if he did something wrong. Lukas shook his head, frowning, but didn't speak. Mathias pulled him into a tight, warm hug and began rambling into his hair, apologizing anyway. Lukas tried to tell him to stop, but couldn't help pressing himself just a bit more into the Dane's warm chest. They were drunk after all; they wouldn't remember. However, as Mathias pulled back a bit to look at him, their eyes met gently and the sickness inside of him was suddenly replaced with a sense of tension. Would he really...?

Yes. As it turned out.

Only, it wasn't Mathias who kissed him. Lukas was the one who leaned forward that fraction of an inch in order to press their lips together. Mathias held him tighter though, allowing the kiss to continue and deepen.

What was he doing?

He wanted to stop, to pull away before things went farther, but, he didn't. He kissed the Dane without reserve, bringing his hands up to hold his face and the back of his neck. Mathias groaned into the kiss longingly.

Shut up, he thought. Don't do that.

Still, the pleasant way his lips move against his was enough to sap the strength it would have taken to hit him, or even just to push him away. The taller of the two trailed his tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He didn't give it immediately and felt him relentlessly patrol his lips with his tongue, searching for the slightest indication of access. When he did give in and parted his lips, he felt his mouth being gently explored, not roughly invaded like how he might have imagined a kiss with Mathias would be. Then, he felt the point of his tongue run over his, trying to invite him to participate. It worked, and Lukas slowly began to move his tongue over Mathias', feeling the wet muscles lap and entwine as though they had done his dance many times before.

The room suddenly swirled violently as he took in a deep breath, and he pulled his mouth from Mathias' just as he began to pass out. Falling back on his own pillow as the room continued to twirl, spiraling him down into unconsciousness, he was faintly able to see the strings of saliva that still connected their lips.

Strings of fate. Threads that bound them together.

His poetic thoughts were quickly doused when sleep fell upon him, heavy and unrelenting.