Llamas Eviscerate 'jO Bekke at HUgwRts'

by Angelus Nox

Here is our first fan fiction commentary! Join us as we read through a story riddled with plot holes, total character personality derailment, and a Mary Sue main character who can't seem to remember her own name. Will we, along with our editing llama, be able to tear the story apart?

4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing; we really appreciate it!

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aN: So, tanks to Daryl 4 fixin da gramer. Ur da best! Flamrs: GO 2 HELL!

Chapter $

New number guys! $!

: DIgon Aley

...

Where are you? Make up your mind!

purt 1

Profesur dumbledum

Dumbledum, give me gumblegum!

tuk us to a stor calld Grignots.

Gringotts is a bank. Not a store.

Yo can get free monee ther.

!? Wha- Wha- ? You have a fundamental misunderstanding of how a bank works.

Perfect way to crash the economy.

Wee go in. A gremlin cums up to us.

Goblin. Not gremlin.

Hehehe.

"oH U mus b jO bEkk potter. Weve been watein

Watein? Watein is apparently a Summoner in League of Legends. Watain maybe? Watain is a Swedish black metal band. Hmmm.

4 u. o nd hllo harre."

Dumbldum commntd on his status, "luk her gremlin, jus tak us to der vault, and NOT de enegy drink, ok, do, you, get, that mistr 'helo jO beKL?"

Goblins/gremlins use energy drinks. Sounds legit. And who is Mister 'Helo Jo Bekl?

The gremln srummk in feer. "Yes, jus dnt hrt me."

...wat? *insert "wat face" meme here*

/I wnt hrt u, but jO beKKE might!

The gremlin sed, "letz\s go 2 ur valt."

We got in da sports car and druve

? Do you even know how Gringotts works? At all? Actually, have you ever even read the books? Or did you just see some art and decide, "ok, let's make a story. It probably works like this."?

into da valt. "Bi da wae mi nam iz golum," da gremlin sed.

GoLUm tuk us doewn into da valt. "Is this da valt," I aksd.

"Yeperoo,' golumn saeid.

Goblins hate humans. Or at least dislike them. And I doubt that any of them would be caught dead saying "yeperoo".

'Iz this da valt,l" haree askd/

"Yes."

Dmbldurm

Are you even trying by now?

tuk jo bELe and haree into the lair. DER WAS A DRAGON DER!111111

Thank you, Redundancy Department of Redundancy! What would we do without you?

2 B CUNTOUED

...yay?

There are about 70 more chapters of this! Can't wait!

*sobbing in distance* :0(

So anyway, please review! Our llama is getting hungry. And we really don't want to keep replacing our computers.

*omnomnomnomnomnom*

George! No! Keyboards cause indigestion!