Chapter 22
It had only been a few weeks since the New Year started and Sira sat alone in her living room, reading a book about hippogriffs and their natural tendencies and behaviors. She didn't read to learn though; she read it to pass the time as she anxiously waited for Scabior to return home. He had decided hesitantly that he should go back to the Snatchers after their holiday was over, but they both thought it would be best if she did not return. They didn't want another incident to occur again.

Her eyes kept glancing at the door, then to the window and then back to the book. She had news for him, news that caused her heart to beat a little faster. She didn't know if she should be happy or be crying. Her feelings were too confused, and she didn't want to be alone anymore.

With a sigh, she stood up, dropping the boor into the chair, and headed into the kitchen. She made herself a little sandwich, just as a wave of nausea washed over her. Her body shivered, she hated the feeling. Slowly, she ate the sandwich. When she finished, the sound of the front door opening filled the house. "Sira?" his voice called out to her, causing her to smile a little as her body grew a little warmer.

He walked into the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as a smile grew on his lips. "'ello, beautiful," he said as she went to him, putting her arms around his neck, a smile brightening her eyes.

"I have news for you," she whispered.

"As do I."

"You first."

"Well," he sighed, "Greyback's not too 'appy that you're no longer with us, but that's not important. What's important is that we believe that this war is almost over, and we almost 'ave 'arry Potter." She looked at him tenderly, her eyes growing colder.

"Don't you just want this war to be over?" she asked, touching his face with her fingertips.

"I do, lovely," he whispered. "I want this war to be over just as badly as you do. I don't even care who wins it; I just want it over with." She nodded slowly. "You've seen more of this war than I 'ave, you know more about the cruelties behind it, and I 'ate seeing you 'urt about it. You blame so much of it on yourself, even though there is nothing you can do to change it. You 'aven't done wrong, Sira. You know that."

"I've killed five."

"Not too recently though."

"But it's still five people," she stressed. "Five souls taken."

"Can't you come to peace with that?" She shook her head.

"I'm pregnant."

His body stiffened at her words, his blue-grey eyes filling with disbelief as he inhaled a sharp breath, as if he'd just been punched in the stomach.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, tightening on them, as her eyes looked desperately into his. "Scabior, it's alright."

"'ow- 'ow long 'ave you known?" he asked breathlessly.

"Almost two and a half weeks now," she stated calmly.

"And you didn't tell me?" His voice held a little snarl to it, a snarl of distrust.

"I wanted to tell you in person."

"It's 'is, isn't it? It's 'is," he snarled lightly, pulling away from her, his face masked in disgust. "And you're okay with that, aren't you?"

"Yes, it's his and, yes, I'm okay with it because we talked about this and you said you'd help me through this," she said, sounding almost like she was begging.

"That was before I knew if it was true. It's a 'ell of a lot easier said than done."

"So you lied to me?! You won't help me through this?!"

"Give me time, Sira!" he barked. "Give me time to think this through!" She threw her hands up in the air.

"You didn't need time when you promised me that you'd help me, you didn't need time when you said that you'd be a father to this child even though it's not yours, and you didn't need time saying that you wouldn't leave me because of this," she hissed, her eyes turning icy. "I don't have forever to wait on you. I only have eight more months."

He looked down, closing his eyes, as he rubbed his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down. This was more stressful for him than it was for her. Her heart ached for him to understand, to see how she saw it. This wasn't the end of their relationship unless they made it be the end. Her eyes studied him, wanting him to look at her.

He never did.

With a sigh, she pushed her way past him, shaking her head as her heart filled with her disappointment. She headed towards the door quickly, wishing that she'd hear another set of footsteps following after her, but there was none. She threw the door open and stepped out onto the doorstep, vanishing the next instant.

"Sira," Narcissa said, surprise heavy in her voice, "w-what are you doing here?" Her eyes held the same emotion as her voice, except that there was also fear in them. "You- you shouldn't be here."

"Why not?" she asked. "Is your Lord here?"

"No."

"So why can't I be here?" She tilted her head to the side a little bit. Narcissa sighed, shaking her head a bit.

"I'm sorry, Sira, but I'm just too used to this being a bad place for you to be, but, come in. There are no other Death Eaters here right now." Sira nodded, stepping into the house as Narcissa went into the living room. She followed her carefully for she still thought that a Death Eater would come around the corner and start mocking her. She swore she'd punch him in the face if they did so.

As she walked into the living room, Lucius' eyes fell on her instantly. His gaze weighed on her greatly, full of concern. "Sira," he leaned forward in his chair as Narcissa sat down beside him, taking one of his hands and holding it gently on her knee, "what brings you here?"

She told a seat in a chair across from theirs, folding her hands. "Scabior and I had a fight," she stated flatly, watching their faces for a reactions. They didn't change.

"About what?" Narcissa asked, curiosity filling her eyes. Sira rubbed her hands together nervously, wondering how she should put it.

"Um, well, it's kind of a funny story," she said with an unconvincing smile, "not in a ha-ha way, but more like a how-unfortunate-for-you way." Their gazes were un-amused. "I'm pregnant." A grin flashed across Narcissa's face, putting a sparkle into her eyes.

"Oh how wonderful! Scabior should be pleased!"

"Yeah," Sira said carefully as the smile twisted her face a little with her uncertainty, "he should be but it's not his."

A loud spat came from Lucius, followed by a bought of coughs. Narcissa's hands covered her mouth as horror filled her eyes, glancing at her husband fearfully. "Who's is it?" he asked after he stopped coughing, his grey eyes fixed on her and his voice a low snarl. Sira felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"I think you know."

"That damn werewolf's?!" His eyes glared at her fiercely, disgusted. "You told me that there was nothing going on between you two!" She closed her eyes tightly as she swallowed deeply, still searching for the right words.

"I was ill… and he took advantage of that," she stated as she opened her eyes. "So that's why Scabior and I had a fight, because the child isn't his and because he said he'd help and support me but now he's not sure." Lucius looked down; the look in his eyes was sharp and brooding.

"Men like that have you on a string and they don't care," he mumbled softly, but Sira wasn't completely sure if heard him correctly.

"What?"

"Nothing?"

"So what are you going to do?" Narcissa questioned.

"No, about Scabior." She watched her face intently.

"Oh," she breathed, "I don't know. Maybe I'll wait for things to cool down a little bit and then go try to talk to him. I don't see what else I could do because this isn't technically my fault. He went back on his promise to me. He's a fault here and he needs to realize it." A light scoff came from Lucius, causing her to look at him with bafflement in her eyes.

"Like that works, sitting around and waiting for something good to happen," he drawled sarcastically, his eyes flashing with irritation. "We all know how well that works." He stood from his seat and, with a turn on his heel, left the room rapidly, causing her to sigh as her hand rubbed her face. Narcissa watched her the whole time.

"Don't worry, Sira," she whispered as her husband's footsteps faded away, "he's been acting like this ever since he returned from Azkaban. It's not anything new, sadly." Her eyes dropped from Sira's as she shifted a little. Sira could read her tension and her strain on her face. "May I ask you something?" she questioned as her eyes flicked back to her. Sira nodded. "I know you cannot lie to me, Sira. I know that you are bound to the truth around us, or it means your death, but I truly hope that you would be honest with me about this even if you weren't under the Vow." She paused, obviously pained. Her tears wetted her eyelashes. "Did- did you have an affair with my husband?"

Sira's heart pounded in her chest as she filled with terror. How she wanted to deny it. How she wanted to say that none of it was true. But she couldn't, unless she wanted death. Right now, she desperately wanted to lie. "Yes," she breathed.

"I knew it," Narcissa hissed, just before she started to quietly sob. Sira felt her heart drop to her stomach as she swallowed back the bitter taste in her mouth, the bitter taste of regret. "How- how could you?! How could you do this to me?!" A hard gasp stiffened her body as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "You are my friend. My friend! And you- you." She shook her head slowly, putting her face in her hands. "How- how long has this been going on?"

"Not very long," Sira said softly, trying to comfort her. "We were only together like that once about two years ago. It's not like it has been a constant thing over a long time, and the rest of the time we've been together, nothing like that happened." Her blue eyes fixed on her. "I felt horrible after the fact, Narcissa, and I knew I shouldn't have done it in the first place. That night, Lucius didn't just cheat you, but he also cheated me, and the rest of his family, while I cheated myself, cheated Sirius, cheated my friends, and cheated my soul, and some of those broken bonds will never be fixed. They may seem to be repaired but they have minute factures in them, allowing the next break to happen quicker and easier. At least the breaks he made are almost whole, mine are forever scattered. I broke my ties to my Order friends, I think they hate me now, and I don't know who I am anymore because I don't trust myself after all the harm that I've done… and then Sirius." She choked on his name, her eyes shut tight as she fought back the tears. His death replayed in her mind.

"So it wasn't really an affair?" Narcissa asked carefully. "It was- it was just a fling?"

"I guess you could put it that way."

"I thought it had been a constant thing…" A small smirk of relief pulled at the corner of her mouth. "I'm relieved to find out that I was wrong."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to do it… It sure messed up my life quite a lot." She sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm glad you regret doing it, because it means you feel strongly against everything that you've done wrong. And that means I can still trust you." She smiled a little, kind, understanding smile.

Sira felt a little better about herself, she even laughed as a smile formed on her lips, causing Narcissa to laugh with her. She was so relieved, so much weighed had been lifted off of her shoulders. She loved it. Things seemed to finally be looking up for her.