Llamas Eviscerate 'jO Bekke at HUgwRts'

by Angelus Nox

Here is our first fan fiction commentary! Join us as we read through a story riddled with plot holes, total character personality derailment, and a Mary Sue main character who can't seem to remember her own name. Will we, along with our editing llama, be able to tear the story apart?

5. Chapter 5

A/N: Stop FLamIm u r stupid nd gae! GO 2 HEKLK!

I hear Heklk is beautiful this time of year.

Chpaarte 5: Da mystikel dregon

DER WAZ A DRAGEN DER!11111111111

Oh no! A dragen!

Gollum sed, ' u hav 2 dfeet da dregon w? ur pwors 2 get 2 da vult.

Wow! One word spelled right! Unless you count Gollum. And, um, what? Dude. What?

Okay, so I know Gringotts has some pretty extreme security measures, but since when do you need to defeat a dragon to get into your vault? Overexcessive much?

Since Jo Bekke started her journey towards HUgwRts. Duh.

"k," hare end ei sed.

We wnen in but haree got scrd.

Wow.

I hd to go in by myslf. Jo bElle wen in.

Oh, so we're in third person now.

Da Dragen was ornge aand spok in a northurn axent. "Im da dregon hoo gurds Grinworts!"

...what? Dude, dragons don't- they don't- ?

UNLEASH THE EDITING LLAMA!

For a second there I thought you were going to have me release the kraken. Which would be stupid, seeing as we don't have a kraken anymore- I mean since we've never had a kraken. Not even a baby kraken that totally wasn't hiding in the bathtub.

Those Kraken Police always mess stuff up.

*sniff* We miss you Carl.

"GO TO HELL~!#$%^'./,./

I stebbd da drehoon thur the hert. It died.

Where did you get a sword?

Or anything else to stab with?

"GO JO BEKLE! GO JI BKEL! 123 GOGOGO!" Dumdubledumre SCREEMED NGRILY

What? 123 GOGOGO? Is that a reference that I'm missing or something?

No clue.

"WHOS DA DREGON SLEYOR? N U R! WHOS DA PRETTYST MOST AMAZNG SXYEST BUTIFUL AMZING SXY WONDRFUL GILR? JPO BELLE PUTTER" Du,mblurode Gooluu, Haree, and snale sad.

snale? Who is snale? And when did he/she/it get here?

Please take a moment to imagine Dumbledore saying- no, screaming- these.

Now I'm thinking of them all as cheerleaders. Thanks a lot.

Gremlin sed, "nowe u mae pass into da chamber uv trrezures.

Yay?

2 b CONTNUED!

*le ga2p!* Oh no! What are we goiing 2 do? 2eriiou2ly, what?

Please tell me that's an error with your keyboard. Or something.

2orry. Are you makiing fun of my typiing lii2p? #2ollux

Ugh. Anyway, reviews are great! George loves them. Thanks to you three who have left them already!

MiRaClEs. :0)