Once again, the last chapter was extended, this time to include additional medical info and a legal discussion between Hotch and Dr. Wilson.

*Will there be sunshine shinin'?

Will we find a silver linin'?

Come along. Sing a song.

When today becomes tomorrow.

Will we find joy or sorrow? Sing a song* Tomorrow is another day, 1977 Disney's Rescuers

Jason Gideon followed the nurse and Emily Prentiss down what seemed like an impossibly long corridor. He walked calmly, his head held high, despite the stinging sensation behind his eyes. Why couldn't someone wake him up? This had to be a nightmare. The relief he had been feeling since arriving at the hospital the night before had evaporated as if it had never been.

"Here he is," the nurse announced, gesturing to chairs on either side of a bed. Gideon took one, his eyes on his feet.

"Oh God!" Prentiss' chocked whisper brought him out of his trance-like state. He looked up at her, the usually stoic woman had her hand over her mouth and tear tracks down her face. "Spencer."

He followed her eyes, his heart dropping into his stomach. Reid was covered from neck to feet in what looked like an ice blanket, cords were poking out from every angle. He was was hooked up to a ventilator and even his head was covered in electrodes.

Gideon stared at Reid's too still form, only half-listening as the young nurse explained the technology behind the cooling blankets and the various machines to which he was connected.

"Are there any questions that you have? Anything I can get for you?"

Were there any questions? Only about 2,000 but both Gideon and Prentiss found themselves shaking their heads, unable to find the words necessary to ask. It was like their tongues had been tied.

"Okay, well my name is Leslie and if you think of anything, just call me."

Gideon nodded, his eyes never leaving Reid. Honestly without the nurse to guide him, he would have walked right past the bed. What had Dr. Wilson said? Oh right - talking and gentle touches. Gideon reached out, stroking Reid's chilled cheek - the only part of him that wasn't covered in something he was too afraid to move. "Hey, kiddo, it's Gideon." No response, not even a twitch or a blink. What did you say to someone in a coma? "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for everything," he choked. Happy thoughts, Gideon. The doctor said happy thoughts. What happy thoughts ? He hadn't felt this guilty since Boston. If only he hadn't listened to Garcia's virus warning suggestion -. That wasn't your fault! Gideon scolded himself, Hankel was already drugging him. It didn't matter that the first cardiac incident happened moments after the warning was posted. Still, Reid hitting the floor when he probably already had a concussion certainly hadn't helped the situation. You idiot! he scolded himself. Wasn't the number one rule of a hostage situation to try not to antagonize the hostage taker? He should have seen that coming from a mile away.

"What are you sorry for, Gideon?" Prentiss whispered.

"I thought I could use his brain to make the world a safer place." He remembered marveling at the speed of Reid's brain as he recited an article about one of the of BAU's cases the first time they met. If only he could have that brain, then they could catch the unsubs sooner, save more lives. Spencer's brain had been little more than a tool to him at the time - a rare and precious tool that was in danger of permanent damage because of him.

"You did, Gideon."

"I also thought I could protect him." Gideon sighed, drumming his hands on the side of the chair. "I was wrong. You put him on a pedestal, show him off like the prize horse at the fair. The youngest, the fastest. All eyes are on him, on someone who should by all rights still be in school, not being pushed to excel in a job for which he does not have the qualifications."

"Reid IS -"

Gideon shook his head. "He is now, but he wasn't. The Bureau made an exception to get him in. He was too young to be an agent, but letting him into one of the most coveted units right out of training? You know they had to waive the fitness tests for him? I got those waived. He's felt like the underling from the beginning - always eager to prove himself among jealous colleagues who were bigger than him - grown up school yard bullies. That's why he chased Hankel into the cornfield, I'm sure of it. He wanted to show he could be just as strong as the rest of the agents. If Reid feels like he failed, that he is somehow weak or less than the rest of us, its because I pushed him too hard too fast - like putting a colt into the Kentucky Derby. You'd be amazed when he won the first race, even the second. But then there's that expectation, so when the colt collapses, suddenly he thinks he's weak and why? Because the trainers have drilled that expectation into his little head and anything less than amazing is suddenly unacceptable. That's what I'v done to him." Gideon put his head in his hands. "I set the bar so high he was bound to come crashing down - and this is what it got him."

"Gideon, enough!" Prentiss looked angry, whether at his self-loathing or the situation he couldn't be sure - maybe it was both. "You're not helping."

Happy thoughts, right. Happy. "Hey, Spencer, you know that book you were reading the other day? One of David Rossi's? Well, I worked with him in the BAU, back in the eighties...you would have been about...oh dear, you weren't even born yet," God, he suddenly felt old. "He and I had just finished a case in New York and we were snowed in at the airport..."*

Emily put her hand on the small part of Reid's shoulder that wasn't covered by the cooling blanket, and listened to Gideon recalling how his friend got chickened into a sledding dare from a 12-year-old, laughing despite herself.

Derek Morgan sat in the ICU waiting room, feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet. How had he not seen that Reid was detoxing? Post op detox from one of the strongest opiates had to be in a special level of Hell that he wouldn't wish on anyone - well, except unsubs. Unsubs deserved Hell.

"Don't beat yourself up too much. Hotch didn't tell you about the drugs because Reid told him not to. Patient confidentiality." Morgan looked up to see Prentiss sit down next to him. Gideon walked right past, not looking at anyone.

"That's no excuse, I found the drugs at the crime scene. I should have known."

"You couldn't have known it would be that bad."

"To go from squeaky clean to an addicts dose of one of the strongest opiates?" He whistled, trying to wrap his brain around that kind of Hell. "No wonder he was being such a jerk."

"Alright, that's enough!" Prentiss snapped, rubbing her hands on her pant leg, trying warm up her hand with the friction. "If you want to wallow fine! Wallow, but it won't help Reid. But if you want to help him, then do yourself a favor and pull your head out of your ass!"

"Excuse me?" Where had the mild-mannered agent gone? Even when she was annoyed she had a way of toeing the professional line.

"Ignorance can be excused, but really, Morgan? You're so wound up in your own imagined guilt that you're not even asking about him?"

Well when she put it that way. She was right, he did sound insensitive. But for goodness sake, he was in a coma, he was in bad shape. What more was there to it? He hadn't asked because he thought it was too soon for answers.

"Is he okay? If he's okay, then why are you crying? Of course he's not okay, what a stupid question." Garcia sat down with her hot chocolate.

"What are you doing with hot chocolate?" Hadn't Garcia been listening at all?

"It's cold out there, I had to go get Hotch a new phone."

"You're cold?" she laughed at the irony, rubbing her pant leg even harder, remembering the chill radiating off of Reid. "Give me that!"

"Hey!" Garcia protested as Emily took the mug from her.

She held the mug with both hands, enjoying the blessed relief as feeling crept slowly back into her hands. "You heard what the doctor said, no hot drinks if you want to see Reid."

"He won't let me," Garcia pouted. "I told him that I need to, but..."

"Not you, too! Garcia, your concerns aren't on his radar." Were she and Hotch the only ones who understood that Reid's needs were the ones that mattered right now?

"But I didn't make Reid upset. I told J.J. to leave him alone, I would never say something hurt him."

"He said Reid needs calm, comfort and happy thoughts." Had she been the only one listening? "You are not calm, if you calm down and tell him that, I'm sure Dr. Wilson will change his mind."

Hotch watched half of his team argue like kindergarten kids, feeling like he'd aged a decade in day. Was it really only three hours ago that he had honestly thought that he could afford the luxury of sleep? He knew he needed some. He could almost hear Reid's voice lecturing him about the dangers of sleep deprivation. How was he supposed to make the best choices for Reid when he felt like his brain had been unhinged?

"Hotch."

Hotch looked up to see that Gideon was handing him a ringing cell phone. "Strauss."

He took the small device in his hand, for once not answering it. "What do I tell her?" It was more rhetorical than anything, but he really had no idea. He'd had to make notification before, he'd had agents shot before, but these days of unanswered questions was new to him.

"Tell her the truth."

"She's going to want us to go back. I've asked Kevin Lynch to look up next of kin. What are we supposed to do when his family gets here? Leave?"

"Not happening, Hotch," Morgan added, two cold gel packs in hand. "We arrive as a team. We leave as a team."

"Gideon's right," Prentiss joined the conversation, taking one of Morgan's gel packs and giving it to Garcia. "Just tell Strauss the truth. Reid's too busy chilling to go home."

*Taken from Season 10, Nelson's sparrow episode. Please review. I love reviews, they make my day :) I'm also going back to each chapter and adding a quote (mostly from songs) like the show starts out.