Llamas Eviscerate 'jO Bekke at HUgwRts'

by Angelus Nox

Here is our first fan fiction commentary! Join us as we read through a story riddled with plot holes, total character personality derailment, and a Mary Sue main character who can't seem to remember her own name. Will we, along with our editing llama, be able to tear the story apart?

7. Chapter 7

A?n Jus cuz u dnt lik a stry dsnt meen u need 2 b meen. GO 2 ur prbablee a gae blak nurthurnur.

Hypocritical comment right at the start!

A gae, blak, nurthurnur? Wow. If that says what I think it says, it's racist, homophobic, and just mean.

Right after she told us not to be; I love these stories.

Chptwer 7: I git rtch/

She gets retch? Ewww. TMI dude.

Dmbldumr flu In on hiz brume and beet them up.

Beware the beet!

"Yall r hugwerts teachers, yer supposed to be bettr den dis!:

"UR STYUPID ND GAE!: I sae melodramcitaaly

That sounds less like melodrama and more like haterade.

"

Snal sad, "y do u hav to b meen to gaes wer humen 2!"

'NO UR NT! UR LUSERS WITH NO LIFE. GO 2 GELL!1111111111111111"

Go to gell?

*growling* OH MY COD SERIOUSLY! Argh! *rant censored for children*

Snal and kwirril strtrs krying. Dey ren ote of da rume crieng.

This repetitive description courtesy of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy.

DumBLDUM "Dose gAE PEopLE AR So STupiId."

Wha- DUMBLEDORE IS GAY! Word of God said so. Jegus! Arghhhhhhh... *Ashe has broken*

"I knoe arry sed,

Den Harwey nd ei got ur trezure.

How do you misspell 'I'?

SDDNLY GolluM sut us in da trezur rume.

Dumbllydum creed ote, "O KNOEW WAT SALL I DOO? "

Dumbllydum? Consult Dumbledore! He'll know what to do!

...

On second thought, let's keep Dumbllydum, Harre, and jo Bekke/ Bekkle/Belle in there. I'm sure the gremlins/goblins will find them. Eventually.

He wEN nd KnicKED on dA

deviantArt.

dURE. "lET us Ote u STUPID BlAK gremlin."

Yep, that'll obviously make him let you out.

"NVR I LUV MISLF, noew I shell snd mi menyons to rap u."

Den I usEd my majicel abilettees to zap us ote. I klld GuLLum.

HOW? And would Dumbledore allow an 11-year-old to just... kill someone? Again?

DEN?| ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

What a dramatic question that isn't really a question!

GOLUM CAM BAK 2 LIF!1111111111111

But don't worry, Jo will take care of him. And Dumbllydum will cheer her on.

2 b CONTNIUED1!#$%^&*()

And to your left, everyone, is where you deposit all of the extra punctuation that wasn't used in the rest of the chapter.

Hey, Ashe?

Ashe? *pokes Ashe* Are you still broken?

Arfhasdffdghkjgcfbnmkgbbn.

That would be a yes. We'll see if we can do something by next chapter.