So I had a reader who wasn't exactly happy with the last chapter, and while I am grateful for all feedback, negative or positive I felt maybe I could help explain my thinking. In the review it said Bellamy's actions were "Predictable, show case his lack of self respect and more importantly is disrespectful to Clarke." My thinking was, yes maybe Bellamy's decision to go home with the random girl was predictable, but only because the Bellamy I write is cannon to who he is or has been on the show, and has shown time and time again Bellamy is hard on himself, and has an extremely difficult time forgiving himself and all around loving himself and his decisions, so that is exactly what I wanted you to take from it, as regards to him disrespecting Clarke, the way I see it is, it's only himself he's trying to hurt/disrespect and has nothing to do with disrespecting her. Again thank you for the feedback and I'm sorry this fanfic isn't for you!

Clarke took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Vanilla. It reminded her of home, and her childhood. Of her father.

"Clarke, is that you?"

A small smile crept its way on to her face as her mom walked into the corridor, opening her arms wide. Clarke crashed into her mom, gripping onto her shirt as they hugged. The last memory she had of hugging her mom so tightly and desperately it had been the day of her father's funeral.

It was not always like this with her Mother. When her dadwas alive she had always felt a closeness with him that she hadn't with her mother. Jake understood her, and loved her unconditionally, and Abigail.. not so much.

"How are you, honey? I just made sandwich's I'm sure you're starving from the trip."

"It's a two hour drive, mom. I'll be okay, I just want to unpack and shower and sleep. I'll see you for breakfast?"

Abigail looked at her hesitantly. "I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow, I'll most likely be gone by the time you wake up, but you could come by before lunch?"

Clarke gave her a nod before moving up the stairs silently. Why did she feel an ache in her chest? Why did she hope that in the midst of everything her mother had somehow actually become a mom? Sure it was short notice, but she hadn't been home for over a year. They'd skyped here and there but that wasn't the same as really being here.

Sighing to herself she laid down after her warm shower, pulling her phone of the dresser she began dialing and before she hit the call button, she realized whose number she was dialing, and stopped herself. The ache she had felt earlier was nothing in comparison to how she felt now. Scrolling through her contacts she stopped as she almost swiped past a familiar name.

Wells. God did she want to hear his voice, and all his advice. Though he was the same age as her, he was wiser than Clarke ever thought she'd be. Bellamy reminded her of Wells, in the way they protected the ones they loved. Octavia and Bellamy's relationship was much like Wells and hers. Fierce in their loyalty, protection and love.

Hitting the call button her heart began racing, even though she knew, knew that no one would answer and his voicemail would pick up and she would hear his voice for all of 5 seconds. But she also knew that it would give her just enough strength to go on.

Jaha had once told Clarke he was going to shut the phone off.

"It's time to move on, Clarke. We've all grieved. It's not healthy to do that to yourself."

He'd talked to her as if she were Jasper, drinking herself to sleep every chance she got, but it wasn't like that. It was nice to hear his voice, so she took over the bill and she'd been paying it since.

"Hey, it's Wells. Uh, you know what to do."

And then a loud beep following. Slowly Clarke pulled the phone from her ear and hit the end call button before sprawling out on her bed, and fighting the tears that threatened to spill out onto her cheek. Cursing herself as one broke free, leaving a small trail behind it. Clarke had never been the type to cry, and lately it felt as if she cried over everything. It made her angry at herself and the world. It made her feel weak, and there was nothing she hated more than feeling weak. Looking out the window, the full moon shone brightly, spilling into her room.

Is Bellamy staring at the moon too? Has it been as difficult for him to get me off of his mind, as it has I, him?

An alarm clock buzzed loudly next to her bed, causing her to wake with a jolt. Groaning as she pulled her legs from under the cover and swinging them over the bed, slamming her hand down on the off button. Some things never change.

Abigail had set the alarm for 5:30am every day.

"You need approximately 20 minutes a day of work out, and I know high school gym is a load of bullshit. You need to be the very best you can be, that's all Clarke."

Clarke thought about staying in bed, but after the events of the few days she figured a jog couldn't hurt. Quickly changing into her yoga pants and pulling on a big t-shirt she headed down the steps, and went down the route she'd taken since she was 13, as if no time had passed.

It was almost unsettling how much was still the same. Mr. Duggar waved at her as he gave his wife a kiss goodbye and headed for his car. Ms. Bates walked her annoying Chihuahua that always yapped and tried to bite her ankles. A pit in her stomach attempted to swallow her whole as she approached a green house, with a familiar brunette tying her hair up into a tight pony tail. Clarke felt her insides stir as she got closer and took in her features.

"Oh, hey Clarke. I didn't know you were home."

"Hi Lexa. Just for the weekend, I needed a break from college life."

"I see, we'll have to catch up, but for now I need to run."

Without giving her a chance to reply, Lexa ran off in the opposite direction of her usual path that she and Clarke once shared. Slowly Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. At least somethings did change.

Sitting across from her mother she felt a lump in her throat. Clarke couldn't remember the last time she had looked so happy. Nothing was wrong in her life, Abigail had a wonderful relationship with Kane. Her daughter was in med school, everything was picture perfect. Which is what she'd always wanted. But she had to tell her, or the guilt would eat away at her. If she let her believe she was still doing well in school, Abigail's happiness would be based on a lie.

Putting her fork down, the words seem to spill from her mouth before her brain comprehended what was happening.

"I quit med school."

Abby's eyes widen and she choked on her water, which caused a coughing fit. It took several minutes for her mother to gain her composure.

"So what are you doing in Chicago still? Her voice sounded flat.

"I'm in Art School now."

The silence stretched out between them and Clarke wanted to scream. Say something, anything.

"It's always something with you."

Clarke felt as if she had been struck and felt herself lean back in her chair, as she stared at her mother.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you were a good child up until Jake died, now you don't care about anyone but yourself. I mean, you break up with Finn who is a good kid and has a lot going for him, then you move to Chicago without a goodbye, you barely visit and now you've dropped out of school? And for what, to pursue some unrealistic dream? Well I have one question for you Clarke, are you on drugs?"

Numb. Numb was the only word she could use to describe how she was feeling as she stood up, quickly walking away. As she got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot she realized she had no idea where she was going.

Home, go home Clarke. But when Clarke pictured home, she pictured Bellamy's strong, certain arms around her. Octavia's warm smile. Raven and Jasper, her broken friends who she vowed to help. Monty, and Miller and hell even John Murphy.

As she walked into her mom's house to grab all of her things, she stopped cold as she saw a figure standing there, waiting for her.

"Clarke. Your mother called and told me she was worried about you, she thought maybe I could help." Finn said, with an innocent smile.

Clarke quickly ran to the kitchen, pulling out the biggest kitchen knife she could manage to find in the amount of time it took Finn to follow. Clarke held the knife steady, and away from her own body. Silently she thanked Bellamy for teaching her self-defense mechanisms, and that unlike the last time she encountered Finn, didn't fail her.

"You need to leave, now." She spit at him.

"Don't worry, Clarke. This won't be like last time, I won't force you to go anywhere. In fact we can stay here, just like this until your mom gets home, then we all can have a nice calm chat. About us, about our future."

Finn crept towards her and she slashed forward at him, and heard him hiss between his teeth as he backed away. Clarke lifted her chin, and felt herself smirk in her triumph. Finn's lip snarled upwards and he was about to charge her when a hand landed on his shoulder, turning around in surprise Finn was met with a punch directly to the nose, so hard that it knocked him to the ground.

Clarke looked at him on the ground, and finally up at who had walked in.

"Bellamy." She was able to just barely whisper before Bellamy was on her, and around her, his arms creating a warm safe haven she never wanted to leave.

Kane walked in behind Bellamy, with Jaha and an unfamiliar officer at his side, who rushed forward putting handcuffs around Finn's wrists.

Clarke looked at Bellamy questioningly.

"I'll answer all your questions, just please. Can we go home?"

Clarke nodded as she laced her fingers with Bellamy's and left Finn as he was handcuffed on the floor of her childhood home.