This chapter contains Mathias and Ludwig's perspectives, sorry if that's confusing but they're both short, so I just put them together. Enjoy!
Mathias:
Mathias walked angrily away from the house, kicking rocks that got in his way up the road, only to reach them and kick them again. He wasn't sure what he thought, but he knew he was upset. Finding Lukas naked in bed with Berwald only a few days after they had their first kiss…Mathias grunted and kicked another rock. It wasn't fair.
Walking calmed him down eventually, and he was then only aware of the pain in his hands. He was certain he had broken Berwald's nose, and maybe messed up his jaw. It hadn't felt like enough; as he probably would have beaten him unconscious, but seeing the way Lukas reacted had made him feel worse than anything Berwald had done. He had made Lukas cry.
Mathias hung his head and sighed. He had never wanted to make him upset. And, he hadn't meant those things he said. Lukas wasn't easy. He knew Lukas and Berwald had a relationship before he had come along, it wasn't like Berwald was a stranger. And, it probably wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been so drunk. He should have kept a closer eye on Lukas. He shouldn't have left him alone, or have let him leave without him.
Lukas didn't drink that much normally…had he trusted Mathias to watch out for him?
Rubbing his face, Mathias groaned. Why was he so stupid? And why did he say those things he didn't mean? He didn't really regret hitting Berwald, but he shouldn't have done it in front of Lukas. He should have left, like Ludwig, so that he could have calmed down. He was such an idiot.
His thoughts continued to loop around the events of the morning until he reached Hvolsvöllur, which was a small town to the northwest. It was where they did most of their shopping, and now, as Mathias wandered around, he found himself pausing outside a small store. In the window were various objects, all hand crafted, but among them he spotted something that gave him an idea. A stupid idea, but it was the best one he had.
He entered the shop smiling for the first time that day. He didn't speak the Icelandic language, but after a moment of enthusiastically pointing at what he wanted, the shopkeeper fetched it for him. It was a really stupid idea, but still, Mathias smiled a little as he left the store and made his way back towards the house.
The walk back didn't seem as long.
Ludwig:
Ludwig had left before Mathias, but hadn't gone as far. He made his way to the coastline, and stared at the rushing waves. He folded his arms against the cold wind and stared out as far as he could see. There wasn't much, only grey water and sky, but he felt as though he was waiting for something.
After a while of waiting, he sat against a large rock jutting up from the land like exposed bone. He knew what he was waiting for. He was waiting to calm down. But, it was taking a while. He was angry, and he wanted to be angry. It had sounded like Mathias had taken a swing at Berwald, and hell, if he had been there, he might have tried.
That image, that horrid image of Berwald beside Lukas, scratch marks on his bare shoulders, was burned into the back of his eyelids. He had known he hadn't been Berwald's only lover, but, Berwald was the only one he had ever been with. Whether he had been drunk or not, the thought that he had sought someone else out made him feel like he wasn't adequate.
He picked up a rock and threw it, watching where it made a large splash behind the break of a wave.
Ludwig sighed against the wind, and then realized something. If Berwald had sought him out, he would have rejected him. Since Ludwig remembered almost nothing of the previous night, he realized that it was a possibility that Berwald had tried to take him to bed, and Ludwig had pushed him away. He put his hand to his face and sighed. That didn't justify anything, but, it was something to consider.
On the other hand, Ludwig had noticed the tension between Berwald and Mathias growing, and Mathias had become much closer with Lukas. He wouldn't have done it just to anger Mathias, Berwald wasn't that cruel, but it could have had something to do with it. With a feeling similar to guilt, he admitted to himself that he had actually been more receptive to Mathias than he had been to Berwald. He wasn't really sure why, and he had intended to explain everything to Berwald when he had figured it out, he just hadn't planned on this happening first.
After all, it wasn't that he hadn't wanted to spend time with Berwald anymore, he was just worried about his mood being contagious, and Mathias had just seemed too happy to pick up his depression. He hadn't meant to push him so far away, but, Ludwig grimly thought that he might have pushed him into someone else's arms.
Ludwig pressed his knuckles to his lips. He didn't know if he could forgive something like that, especially with Lukas, but, he already knew he couldn't live without Berwald. He had learned that the night he had tried to leave. He just couldn't be without him, but that didn't mean he could be forgiven. Ludwig honestly wasn't sure where that left him, but with a steadying breath through his nose he decided that saying that he just needed time was a mistake he wouldn't make twice. If Berwald came to him, they would talk. No more waiting.
"Dinner!" Tino called happily, wiping off his hands.
He began getting ready to serve the food he had made, but only one person appeared at the table behind him. Emil stared up at him.
"Oh," Tino said before he could stop himself.
"Yeah," Emil said, looking away.
It seemed it would just be them for dinner.
"The fucking people we got mixed up with," Emil muttered.
Tino couldn't help but grin. That sounded familiar.