A/N: Its been awhile coming I know, but you know how it is...anyway I have gone back and edited chapter one and chapter two, the latter rather extensively (grammar and what not mostly).
Important: For those of you that read my chapter 2 before I edited it I have included the flashback that I included in my edit. I do have to describe how in the heck we got here, don't I?
With that said, enjoy!
Flashback, 4 years ago
"Shhhh! Ron the whole point of sneaking inside something is not getting caught," said a redheaded teen hero as she crawled through a ventilation system.
"Sorry KP," replied her boyfriend and long time partner, Ron Stoppable.
After the slight pause the duo continued on through the maze of twists and turns until Kim heard familiar voices. She slowly crept to the nearest vent and looked through it in order to assess the situation.
The slender teen looked down upon a large room that had a laboratory area on one side and giant monitors on the other. The entire room was made from concrete giving it the feeling of a bomb shelter rather than a typical living area. As Kim continued to scan the area, she noticed a familiar figure talking and waving his arms around like a madman.
"Shheeegggggoooooo, why aren't you listening to me?" asked a blue skinned scientist who was standing next to what could only be assumed to be some death ray thing.
"Do we always have to go through this same thing time and time again? I mean can't you do something different for a change. I swear you are the dumbest evil scientist I've ever met," came the reply from an area of the room that Kim could not see but she recognized the voice nevertheless.
"You don't have to be so hurtful Shego."
"Well if it makes you feel any better Dr. D, it is hard to hear you over the racket those maintenance men you hired are making. Why are they even here anyway?"
The scientist looked down out as his feet without saying anything. There was a period of awkward silence accompanied only by the sound of magazine pages being turned.
"You blew it up when I was out didn't you?"
"My calculations were off slightly which caused it to misfire, but such set backs will not happen in the future!" Dr. Drakken said with zeal as he was about to go off on another one of his rants before he was suddenly interrupted by a crashing sound followed by a ripping sound.
"Ahhh man! How does this still happen?" came Ron's voice as he was hanging upside down from the vent by his ripped pants.
"Well well well. You sure know how to make an entrance Pumpkin. To bad the buffoon always messes it up," taunted the sidekick who was still sitting and enjoying her magazine.
"It doesn't matter either way because I am just going to beat you again like I always do," she retorted.
The villainess put her magazine down and slowly stood up to face her nemesis. Kim could not help but look at the very well toned body that was so evident through the incredibly tight green and black jumpsuit Shego always wore.
"Well Princess, this might actually be interesting," Shego said as she lit up her hands and lunged for Kim. What followed was closer to a strictly choreographed dance rather than a deadly fight between two hated enemies. Each strike was countered only to be followed by another. As each second passed both combatants grew more and more determined. The punches, sweeps, and kicks became faster and faster until the two looked as though they were one flowing energy with the two extremes seeming to melt together into a perfect harmony of movement and motion. The outside world ceased to exist as the two forces continued their dance of souls across the concrete complex. It continued for what seemed like an eternity until the inevitable happened and someone connected.
Shego slammed into the concrete wall leaving a gaping hole as she slowly picked herself up.
"I must say you offer a good challenge but that's about it," she said as she started to circled Kim in wait of an opening.
Kim was about to retort until she noticed the workers cowering behind various objects. "Shego don't you think we should continue this somewhere else? Someone could get hurt."
"Isn't that the point Princess?" Shego asked with a predatory grin before lunging at her again.
Kim dodged and the fight continued with renewed vigor. Everything was going right until a brave worker decided to try and help her by attempting to come up behind Shego. Kim jumped towards Shego and did a back flip in order to connect with her face. Shego quickly ducked but the worker was right behind her. Kim's powerful kick connected with his chin knocking his head back hard. A loud *crack* echoed throughout the room. Everyone stood in utter shock as his body fell limply to the floor. A silence that could kill floated in the room as other workers slowly came out to look at their fallen friend.
Shego and Kim both stood frozen in time it seemed as they stared at the body of the innocent worker. After several minutes the shock passed slightly and Kim collapsed to her knees. She leaned over the lifeless body and began to mutter in between her cries.
"Get up please… I…I didn't mean for this to happen… get up… you have to be okay," she practically moaned as she laid on top of him, "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to… you can't be de… no! No! You aren't dead! Get up! You have to get up!" Kim began to shake him as tears flooded over her eyes and down her face. The sight was enough to snap Shego back into reality causing her to lean down and place a soft hand on Kim's shoulder. She could not tell whether Kim even felt it or not but she stopped shaking him and instead laid on top of him as her cries grew louder. Shego leaned down to try and say something to Kim but she turned and grabbed onto Shego as she continued to cry her heart out. She initially stiffened up but several moments later she returned the embrace while whispering sweetly, "Shhhh Princess… it'll be okay."
The sound of police sirens eventually began to penetrate Kim's pitiful moans. Even as the SWAT teams stormed the room Shego continued to stay beside her and hold her.
End Flashback
Shades of Grey, Chapter 3: First Blood
With a sense of urgency, Kim forced her eyes open. We're gonna crash!
Did crash.
She looked around the helicopter only to be met with a stillness which was only interrupted by the oddly fluid movement of a fire coming from the cockpit. After regaining most of her senses she was assaulted by the sounds of battle, from discharges of weapon-fire to the screams of the wounded. For several moments the new GSF soldier felt as though it was just some nightmare and she would wake up in her bed next to her beloved Pandaroo.
Such hopes were dashed by something in the cockpit going off. The new GSF soldier lacked the experience to identify it as the sound of ammunition set off by the heat of fire discharging in the pilot's sidearm. Which would have killed the man were he not already dead from impact as well as immolated beyond recognition. After a quick self-check revealed no serious injuries, she scanned about for the rest of her squad.
An unlucky trooper, who had been thrown from the helicopter just prior to the crash, sat with his back against a wall. The rest of him, from his right shoulder on down to his mid rib, lay on the ground thirty feet away amidst a burnt and scarred chunk of shredded metal. Blood gushed from the wounds and what was left of the lower portion of his body lay scattered around him with small pieces of guts clumped together a few inches away. The trooper's eyes were open, staring blankly up into the sky, and his mouth was also left open, allowing drops of blood to slowly drip down the sides of his mouth. Kim quickly looked away and tried to keep herself from vomiting.
Chaos reigned as soon as Kim dragged herself out of the burning hellhole. Several bodies of her fallen comrades lie strewn across the dirt that was now the temporary landing zone for the beleaguered GSF force. She looked over and saw Captain Anderson with about thirty other troopers holding a perimeter by a small stone wall several feet tall.
Her friend David, who was with the group of troopers defending the perimeter, looked over and saw her. He motioned to the Captain who turned and saw Kim crouching near the helicopter for cover. Anderson motioned to her to make a run for it as he barked to his men to provide cover fire. Seconds later the entire group began firing from all possible vantage points as Kim ran through the open strip of ground as fast as she possibly could while being weighted down from her heavy combat gear. When she was within several feet she dove behind the wall, nearly ramming it with her head.
Captain Anderson crawled over to her in order to update her on their situation, "Glad you finally made it Lieutenant, we've established a perimeter 'round the LZ and Pierce took a squad to shore up our right flank. Take five, do the same to the left. Hold until relieved."
"Yes sir," Kim quickly replied. She crawled along the wall while tapping five of the best men that she knew, including David, on the leg. The small group then slowly made their way over to the left flank.
Kim spotted a small ridge with several palm trees at the top of the slope and led her men over to the position. Once they arrived she slowly lifted her head over a small dune to survey the enemies' positions, only to be rewarded by suppressive fire blowing dirt in her face.
Hastily clearing her eyes, she motioned to her men, "Jack, Ruiz; by that downed tree. David, Baker; cover me."
The troopers did as they were ordered. Jackson and Ruiz sprinted to their position, but they never made it. Instead they were cut down mid stride by machine gun fire coming from an upper window of a building. Kim was horrified as she watched the two soldiers being riddled with bullets as mists of blood shot from their backs. Both bodies eventually slumped down to the ground in awkward positions, with Jackson's head facing towards Kim. His eyes had remained open, staring into her, with a look of unspeakable pain and agony.
Kim could not look away from the eyes of the man who died following her orders. He had died because of her.
She had killed him.
Her guts wrenched and she felt the need to vomit. She tried to look away, but his eyes held her prisoner. Her very soul cracked and shriveled up from the dead gaze.
She could not take it anymore.
Suddenly, she stood up and ran toward her fallen comrades, deep down hoping there was still some way to save him. She just ran. She ran through a hail of bullets that she did not even notice. Even as a grenade went off near her, she did not hear it. When she landed several feet away, the battlefield seemed to fade into nothing as she slumped down into the sand, still looking into his eyes.
Flashback- 4 years ago
She had cried for so many countless hours that her body seemed incapable of producing tears anymore. So now she was reduced to sitting on her bed, with her knees to her chest, whimpering. Even after so many meaningless days had passed, her hell only seemed to get worse.
Everyone Kim knew either rushed to her to assure her it would all be okay or they would just look at her differently, like a murderer. Kim respected the latter more; at least they were not lying to her face. Something had changed inside of her and things could never go back to being normal.
However, Ron was always there for her. He did everything he could to try and help her get out of her rut. He did everything to help, from cooking her favorite foods, with help from Mrs. Possible, to holding the tissue box. It got to the point that Kim started to feel guilty partially because she knew he deserved better than watch her be such an emotional wreck, but mostly because whatever he did only made her hate her feelings more. Although everything he did was great, it was exactly what a friend would do. There was not touching or caressing. She refused to think about it too much; instead she decided to just be thankful for having such a great person in her life. Her thoughts were already plagued by so many other things anyway.
There was even talk of prosecution by eager attorneys, but the worst of it all was when she met the worker's family.
The family of the deceased had requested Kim to attend the funeral; they wanted to talk to her. She was hesitant at first because she was still an emotional wreck, but she went anyway.
As she sat in the choking heat for hours she could only look at the new widow trying to comfort her newborn baby in her arms. While Kim looked at the scene, her eyes wandered to the woman behind it all. As she looked into the poor widow's eyes, she could feel the unspeakable pain and agony that coursed through the frail woman's body. She knew the man she had loved was dead and that it was her fault.
It was just too much for her.
So she just ran.
End Flashback
"Medic! We need a medic over here!" David waved frantically to the arriving GSF reinforcements. He had been able to drag Kim behind a ridge after someone called for air support, taking out the machine gun bunker in the process.
"What happened?" the nearest medic asked as he began to look over his patient.
"A grenade went off close to her. She went airborne."
The medic calmly inspected her wounds, and bandaged the places where pieces of frag had penetrated. "She is lucky. There is frag in her leg and shoulder. Maybe a minor concussion. Get her to the next medivac, I can't tell how deep the frag went."
"Okay, thanks." He quickly picked her up and carried her to the landing zone. He arrived just as a helicopter was about leave with the wounded. After signaling for it to stop, he placed her gently on the helicopter.
Whispering to her he said, "If you can hear me you better pull through or I'm outta the only friend I got around here." David then looked up to the medic in the helicopter, "You better take good care of her."
The man kindly replied with a half-hearted smile, "Don't worry, she is safer here with me than out there."
When the helicopter had nearly left the battlefield, Kim came to. Through her blurred senses she could make out the smoke rising from the buildings, the bodies littering the streets, and the unrelenting sound of gunfire. Before she fell back under she could not help but think, so that's what hell is like.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Commander Director exclaimed in absolute fury.
"I don't know." Kim answered, as she stared ahead and tried valiantly to maintain her composure.
"I sure as hell don't either! Not only did you put yourself at risk, you put the lives of your comrades on the line too! You are an officer! That is not what an officer does!"
"I know." Kim said weakly.
When Betty Director looked into her eyes she saw how much pain she was in. Relaxing slightly she replied, "Look I understand what it feels like to lose your first man. No one should have to experience that. But there are people out there who need you! You cannot lose your head like that again. Do you hear me?"
"Yes Commander."
"Good. Now report to debriefing with Commander Du."
"Yes Commander."
The commander quickly added, "And if you need to talk to anyone, I know someone who will help. It wouldn't be his first time."
"Thank you Commander."
After saluting Kim walked briskly out of the Commander's tent and out into the rest of GSF's temporary base of operations located just a few miles out of Bandar, Iran. As she walked she was plagued with thoughts about yesterday's battle, but forced them out of her head knowing how harmful they were. She would deal with them later. Before she could reach the desired tent, her friend ran over to her and grabbed her arm.
"Hey, there's my favorite redhead! How ya feelin'?"
"David, I'm the only redhead here."
"Nah. That can't be right. I coulda sworn I saw a guy ov..."
"Look, I know you're just trying to help but I just want to go to the debriefing, leave, then get to my cot and pass out. Okay?"
"Sure thing, I'm sure you want to get some sleep." He started to walk away but turned around after a few steps to add, "Oh and if you ever want to talk, I ain't got anything better to do."
Kim stood there for a few moments, but then quickly turned and entered the tent.
"Ah, nice of you to join us Lieutenant. Now we can begin." Commander Du turned to a map of Iran behind him as Kim took her seat among the other officers. "The mission was a partial success." The Commander looked at Kim, she did not know if it was intentional or not but she still glared at him anyway.
"Although the assassin and their henchmen were not found at the site, several prisoners have said that they were there several minutes prior. Also, several important documents were found hinting at where the assassin is receiving their funding. It is not concrete and it will need to be looked at and verified before any steps are taken. Now as to the war, the advance is moving steadily but the enemy is falling back deep into the mountains. There is a key training camp here, just south of the city of Yazd. It is critical that we disable it. The specifics will be discussed tomorrow. You will assault the base in four days' time. You are dismissed."
Kim followed the rest of the officers out of the tent. Once the group had dissipated she stopped and looked up into the sky. It was night and the stars were shining unobstructed by clouds. She gazed up at the beautiful sky and let out a deep, emotionally heavy sigh. So much has happened, she thought.
Her mind weighed heavy with such thoughts. For once in my life I don't know if I can do this. I've spent my entire life fighting, but this is too much.
But I have too. She argued with herself, starting an internal conflict.
Why? So you can watch more men and women die for just one man.
But he was the President of the United States!
So? What makes him different than any other person? Just because he has a fancy job title means he is more important than the tourists killed in Setra or the journalist in Emeretstan? When it comes down to it why do you really fight? Why do you risk your life?
For my...
Sorry what was that? I couldn't quite hear you.
For my friends! For all the good, decent people I know here who have lives back at their home! Because I have nothing back home! Except memories...
With that her mind ceased to fight with her, and she kept gazing at the stars enjoying the peace while it lasted.
There it is, hope you enjoyed and please review!
Also, I would like to thank my wonderful beta LoveRobin for all the help she has given me, and MezzicStorm for helping me work out some kinks in the rough draft.