Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of the characters associated with the show.

Chapter Ten: A Little Gambling is Fun When You're with Me

Time: 10:51

Alcohol consumption: two and a half glasses of wine, one extra gin easy tonic

Feeling: not nearly drunk enough to handle this

"Let me go," Rory said, nudging Tristan's arms that were holding her captive at the bar. He complied, taking a step back. She stormed off, heading out to the backyard through the large French doors at the far end of the room.

It was cold outside, but the cold felt good. It was still, calming. Her mind was racing with anger and humiliation. Everyone was right. What the hell was she doing?

She sat on a stone bench. The cold seeped into her skin but she ignored it. She heard the door open and close and then Tristan was standing over her. He passed her a fresh drink and sat down next to her.

"It's an extra extra gin easy tonic."

She took a sip. "That's disgusting."

"But it will numb whatever is going on in your head right now."

She looked up at him. The glow from the house cast a dim light on his face. "What are we doing Tristan? I mean, why pick me up tonight?"

Tristan sighed. "He was trying to get to you, Rory. Ignore him. Nothing has happened here that warrants you feeling guilty about his words, and you know that."

She shook her head and looked at her feet. Maybe not with you, she wanted to say. She sipped her glass of glorified Pine Sol.

They sat in silence for what felt like a long time. Tristan finished his drink first. "I'm sorry I brought you here," he said at last. "I didn't know..."

Rory shook her head. "I knew. And he had every right to be mad I showed up here tonight."

"Come on, Rory. That's-"

"He's right, Tristan. About all of it." She grimaced as she took another sip of her drink.

"You cheated on him?"

She studied him for a moment. He seemed to be completely missing her point. "No. Not at all. When the opportunity presented itself I found myself completely incapable of betraying him."

Another sip.

He sat for a minute, rolling his empty glass between his hands. He seemed like he was calculating his next move. "Carly is at a job interview for German Style Watch, probably as we speak, actually."

What was he saying to her? "So what does that mean, exactly?"

"I'm not stopping her."

"Right, but-"

"Dugrey! Next hand is being dealt and we need you to sit in this time," Colin said, appearing in the doorway.

"Next round."

"None of that shit now."

"I'll play," Rory said.

"Excellent." Colin opened the door wider for them to pass. She tossed back the rest of her drink, stood and handed her glass to Tristan, ignoring the frustrated look on his face.

"More Pine Sol, please."

Time: 12:37

Alcohol Consumption: Two and a half glasses of wine, one extra gin easy tonic, two (or was it three?) extra extra gin easy tonics

Feeling: Sharp

The poker game was drawn out. She played against Tristan, Colin, and Finn, as well as two other guys she had never met before but had noticed that Tristan greeted very coolly. Throughout the game, Rory had pieced together enough snarky remarks from Finn and Colin to deduce that the strangers had taken them for just about all they were worth in the last game. Now, as time ticked on, she could tell that Colin and Finn were relying on her to get their money back.

The stakes were high, higher than in college. But then again, everyone had made themselves that much wealthier in the last three years. Everyone, that is, except for Rory. In college, when they boys had been teaching her, they never made her pay her share. It was ungentlemanly, they would say. They also wouldn't allow Logan to pay her debts, That's just shooting fish in the barrel, Colin had said. By the time she was good enough to start winning their trust fund money out from under them, they had established a system of paying through deeds. Not good ones, mind you. More like pranks, favors, and grand gestures.

Tonight there were over then thousand dollars in the pot. "I'll spot you," Tristan had offered as they sat down.

"She's at my table by my invite. I'll spot her, if it comes to that," Colin said with a sly wink in Rory's direction.

"He seems to think you know what you're doing," Tristan said as he took his own seat beside Rory.

She smiled what she hoped was a coy one. "I never fail."

And so the game had commenced with Finn dealing. Rory found herself lost in the distraction she had accepted. Sitting here with these boys reminded of her of her carefree college years. The game provided a distraction to focus her sharp mind. Tristan was nearby, a presence she couldn't help but feel reassured by. She was relieved that they weren't out there on the patio, discussing whatever it was he had been trying to tell her when Colin had interrupted.

She held her liquor better than Colin or Finn. Or maybe they were just drunker. They folded quickly. Next was the blonde stranger. The game continued for a bit between Tristan, Rory, and the brown haired stranger. Tristan, with a mischievous look on his face, folded soon after. As he vacated his seat he whispered, "You've got him, Mare."

Time: 12:52

Alcohol consumption: A lot

Feeling: feelingsy

About fifteen more minutes passed, tensely for those watching. Rory could feel the group that had gathered around the table although she didn't dare to turn around and look.

When the time came to show her cards she was nervous. She only had a flush. She bared them, trying not to show her nerves. A straight. A measly straight. She had won.

She was out of her seat. People were patting her on the back. Finn traipsed over, grabbed her face between his hands, and gave her a big smacking kiss on the lips. "Colin and I owe you a major gift basket to show our gratitude," he said.

Tristan watched as she looked for him among all the faces. God he wanted her to come to him, to make the first move. She was already so incredibly sexy, holding her own against those sharks. He had eventually thrown in his own hand just so that he could concentrate his attention on watching her play.

It didn't take long. Her eyes found his, lingered, and she turned away. She was walking away, actually, slipping past the drunken boys surrounding the poker table. He wanted to follow her. But he hesitated. And then she glanced, briefly, over her shoulder in his direction. He tossed back the rest of his drink and followed her.

She had led him up the stairs to a quiet hallway. She stopped, as if examining a painting on the wall. When she turned, his arms were already around her.

"Tristan," she exhaled. It sounded like a warning, but he ignored it. He kissed her, pushing her body backwards until he had her pinned against the wall. Her response was immediate. It was tentative, but a response nonetheless.

"Tristan," she said again, more sharply this time. A hand on his chest pushed him away, creating space where he wanted nothing but physical contact.

"What, did I bite your lip or something?" he quipped.

That elicited a soft smile on those lips he wanted more of. So he indulged himself, this time tugging her bottom lip between his teeth. She whimpered. The sound almost undid him completely.

"You liked that." He asked, moving his lips across her face.

"Tristan..."

Nibbled her earlobe.

"Maybe you shouldn't have run all those years ago." The sweet spot on her neck. Her hand, still on his chest curled, clenching a fistful of his shirt. He moved next to her collarbone.

"Tristan," she said firmly, pushing him away again.

"Rory." Collarbone's not a favorite, he noted to himself.

"I'm drunk."

Of all of the things she could have said to him in that moment, that one seemed the most arbitrary. "So am I."

She shook her head. "I have daddy issues."

He laughed at that one. "So do I."

"Yeah, but mine make me make very bad choices."

"Everyone in this house suffers from the same affliction." He took a step closer but she stopped him again with her hand.

"You took off your ring."

Maybe she was too drunk. "I don't wear rings."

"It's a metaphor."

"For?"

"Dean."

He took a step back on his own this time, the name catching him off balance. He studied her face, really looking at her. She looked completely torn up by some emotion, and it wasn't lust.

"Dare I ask?" he ventured, feeling his head clear slowly.

Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs. He and Rory both craned their heads in the general direction, but the hallway was dark and it was difficult to see. She surprised him by taking him by the hand and pulling him into a nearby room, a bedroom he noted, once she had turned on the lights.

This was like his fantasy being played out in a parallel universe, where everything was just slightly off kilter.

He sat on the bed, waiting. She paced, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater, betraying her nerves.

"Logan was right. About me. And I never even told him, he just sees through me, I guess."

Tristan's sluggish brain, thick with scotch, slowly rewound through the events of the evening. Logan had accused them of cheating.

"I'm sorry I kissed you...that's my bad, not yours." He felt like the occasion called for the apology, even though every cell of his body was still screaming to try to pick up where they had left off.

"It's not just that. It's...God!"

Something was clearly eating at her. It was on the tip of her tongue on the patio and it needed to come out now, Tristan decided. He stood up, placed his hands on her shoulder, and pushed her gently so that she was the one sitting on the bed. This seemed to calm her. He remained standing, waiting.

"I always do this," she said, tears gathering quickly now.

"Become a sad drunk?" he teased.

"Cheat, ruin relationships, betray people I care about." She let out a sob and burried her head in her hands.

Skeptically, Tristan pressed: "How many people have you cheated on?"

"Two."

"You had sex with someone else while dating Dean and Logan?"

She looked up at him through blurry eyes with a look of pure annoyance. "You're not listening to me," she sobbed.

Tristan, giving up on figuring out her drunken tale, crossed his arms and said: "Well then, explain it to me."

She took a steadying breath. "I hurt everyone who comes along. I have almost never gone into or out of a relationship honestly. Dean and I ended not long after I kissed Jess. Jess broke off his relationship to be with me. After that ended I had sex with Dean, effectively ending his marriage. But then I started to fall for Logan. And I went to Jess, hoping to have sex with him but could only kiss him to piss Logan off. And now I'm here, kissing you, and trying very hard not to be that girl again."

Tristan processed her story for a moment. "Your logic is full of holes."

The look of tear-stained annoyance was back on her face. "What?"

"Your logic, it's flawed. Ok so by my count you have "cheated" on two guys, Dean and Logan, but not sex just kissing. Not your finer moments, but I'm assuming that, because of your self-proclaimed daddy issues, you acted out, returned to your guy, and never told him."

"I don't see how my daddy issues play into that one."

"Am I right?"

"More or less," she conceded. "It doesn't change the fact that it was a sucky thing to do."

"Now this Jess guy dumping that girlfriend can't be something you genuinely feel bad about. I bet she was around just to get your attention. Sound about right?"

"Something like that." Sniffle.

"You can't control what other people do. Which leads me back to Dean. You ended his marriage? Did you break up with her for him?"

"Well, no, but I had sex with him."

"Did you force him to have sex with you?"

That annoyed look again. "Obviously not."

"You can't control what other people do," he repeated, sitting down on the bed next to her. "The sooner you get that, the freer you will be. From all of life's crap."

She sniffled. "But Tristan, I can control myself. I should have walked away from Dean. I've learned that now. And I have tried damned hard to be the kind of girl who doesn't fall into that pattern. And now..." she looked up at him.

And now he was dragging her right back into it. She had tried to stay away lately and he had gone to her house, bringing her right into this situation.

"I want you, Rory. I want to be with you. I wanted you when we were sixteen and I want you now, for so many more reasons. Those guys, that shit that they did to be with you...you were worth the gamble."

She held his look, her eyes drier now but heavy with sadness.

"You might want me, Tristan, but you are in a relationship with Carly. No matter what we played at tonight, you are hers."

"She's taking a job in Germany."

Rory shook her head. "You told me that already! It's the damned ring."

He was getting frustrated now. She wasn't listening to what he was telling her. "Why do you keep saying that? What the fuck does that mean?"

"All Dean had to do was take off his wedding ring, and I gave him my virginity, no questions asked. He didn't leave her for months. He put the fucking ring back on when we were done, and walked back home to her bed."

She took a breath. "You telling me Carly wants a job abroad is not the same as you telling me it's already over."

"It will be but-"

"Jesus, Tristan!" she said, bouncing up off the bed. "You know what? If you want me so bad, then you should want for me to not have to sacrifice some hard learned lessons in order to be with you. And you know what?"

"What?" he asked, stupidly.

"No one has ever been decent enough to want to do right by me, all of the time. No one. Not one of those guys you claim 'gambled everything' because I'm so worthy. They've all caused me to jeopardize the important things in my life. And now, I'm adding you to that list."

She opened the door, presumably for him to leave. His feathers were ruffled now. He got up, crossed the room in three easy strides, and slammed the door closed. He was inches away from her.

"Stop playing the victim, Rory. You've made mistakes with me too. Our connection? It's chemical. You want to fuck me as bad as I want to fuck you and that terrifies you. Why? You're not that doe eyed teenager in her school girl uniform anymore. There's no moral police here. You can't pin this all on me just to take the high ground."

Her chest was heaving, sucking in deep, steadying breaths of air. He felt his own breath coming quickly. Her eyes were heavy, unreadable, but dangerous. He didn't back down and neither did she. He restrained the urge to kiss her, screw her right there against the door, make her say that she needed him, too.

She reached over and opened the door again. This time when he slammed it closed he found himself alone in the dark hallway.