Hi guys. This is Ashe. First, you guys rock, and your reviews are awesome. But there is one I want to talk about briefly here. It was a guest, and they asked us to take the story down. Don't worry, we won't, and it's fine to have that opinion, but I feel like I should say that you shouldn't call her (the author) a slut. I don't like her particularly; she's a racist homophobe with bad spelling and grammar. But that doesn't mean you can call her a slut. I have a rather large issue with the use/overuse of that word, and I could go on, but it wouldn't the fair to other readers. Just, we love your opinions, but please maybe watch how you put things. Thanks very much, and sorry to everyone else who had to read through my little rant there. :0)

And, um, if you're going to do that, don't do it as a guest. Do it with your username, so we know who posted what comment. You know what we mean? Okay, we're done. Now onto sarcasm!

AN: U DUM IGNURAMUSES!

That's actually pretty impressive. I wonder how many times she's been called that?

U SUK! I hat u! STOp flamIN me. IM nut A TRULL!1111111

Of course you aren't a trull. You could be a troll though... And for humanity's sake I hope you are.

DO I liv undr a bridge? NO, den how ca trull?

...what? You, my poor, poor, grammar deprived friend, are in need of an urban dictionary. Or a brain. Both are god.

You mean good?

Uh...yeah. But god works too. :0)

Has anyone else noticed that when Ashe makes a smiley face, it looks like it has fallen over and smashed on the floor?

:0(

U dumbledorfs hav NO LIF!111111111111 IF U REPURT ME den ur a dum muzlim, wos probly a gae nurthernur 2! I H8 U! Btw tanks to0 darryl for da editin,

Dude! What have we said about tanks!?

Ur DA BEST BF EVR!1111111111111111111111 CHEK OTE HIZ STURY. ITZ ABOUT HAAREE GEDDING A NEW TRUK!11111111

Oh god...

Why...?

Chaptr 22: Prufesur olees secrit purtkey

Very secret! Just like every secret thing in the story, the owner needs to tell Jo and her friends.

Olee was holdin the portkei. "Alrite now dat uve lerned dis VERY advancd majic. U need 2 go 2 dumbldums office. Uze this 2 get der."

If they know such "advanced magic", why would they even need a Portkey? And...wtf?

They learned this 'very advanced magic' on their second day of school. Wow.

We wen thru the purtkey.

You don't go through a Portkey. Trust me, you can't fit inside of a boot.

Prufesur Dumbledore was sittin in his easy chair. He rolld around and luked at us. "Nowe, nowe children. I hav sumthin 2 telly u."

"we luked at eech uther. "What is it

?

Did you look at each other and scream "Nooooooooo!" dramatically after finding out about your father? No? Then you didn't Luke at each other, you looked at each other.

Well, lisen her."

'I knede sumthin do/"

"wat iz it?" wee asked.

"Ok dufuses, dis isz wat it iz," dumbldor sturts/

Yes, the way to get someone to do something is to call them 'dufuses'. *shrug* Sounds right.

We w8ed suspicusly.

We weighted suspiciously. Okay?

Ten Dumbledore sed. "you must help me on a secrit progect!"

Stop it! Stop telling all of your supposedly 'secret' stuff to this group of possibly untrustworthy, first-year, badly spelling students! They don't deserve secrets, they don't deserve advanced magic that they can somehow learn in two minutes! They should just be kicked out of the highest tower in the castle and get eaten by a giant squid!

Astronomy tower, if you're interested.

Meet you there in an hour. Bring the chloroform and spears.

Don't forget about fireworks!

Bait to tempt the squid, too.

Sounds like a party.

2 B CUNTINUDE!

Well...22 down, what, like 53 to go? Yay. If you want to join our squid feeding party, drop a review in the little box down and to the right.

We'll treat it as an RSVP. Say what you're bringing, too.