5. In Which The Cats of the Dark Forest Discuss Death and Democracy

Setting: Brokenstar's rock

Brokenstar: *yowls on rock* ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP. Brainstorming session.

Snowtuft: *looks and whispers to Maggottail* Seriously; why is Brokenstar always leading this talks? Aren't we all supposed to be senior leaders or something? The eldest of us should lead.

Maggottail: *spittle at mouth* I was dead before your mother's mother was ever kitted!

Snowtuft: Exactly-Wait? You were? How are you even still around? Aren't you supposed to disappear once you're forgotten? Even Mapleshade is more visible than you and no one remembers her.

Mapleshade: *jumps out from behind the rock* WHAT? EVERYONE remembers ME! I am the MENACE of ThunderClan, the DESTROYER of RIVERCLAN, the-

Sparrowfeather: *underneath the rock where she's been hiding this whole time* *whispers* The Killer of Medicine Cats and Grieving Queens and Unworthy Toms, the AllMother of Kits, we know, we know. You don't have to do this ever time you're mentioned.

Snowtuft: *thinking to himself* On second thought; maybe that's why everyone remembers her.

Mapleshade: SEE. I SHOULD BE LEADER.

Thistleclaw: Oh, really? You weren't even a deputy.

Mapleshade: Neither were you!

Thistleclaw: BUT I WAS CLOSE. SO CLOSE. IF BLUESTAR HADN'T HAD TAKEN AWAY MY ONE CHANCE AT THE SPOTLIGHT AFTER SHE STOLE SNOWFUR AND WHITEKIT *starts crying*

Tigerstar: There, there. *runs tail over his mentor's back* *Looks at others* He's still very sensitive about the whole mate-and-kit thing.

Darkstripe: *running in a top speed* SEE, Tigerstar is COMPASSIONATE! He'd make a GREAT leader.

Brokenstar: We don't need compassion in a leader.

Snowtuft: *muttering* We also don't need someone who thinks training kits to be warriors is an actual plausible idea.

Brokenstar: Hey! I was trying to be innovative. You can't blame me! One day one of my ideas will become famous!

Hawkfrost: Because you're not famous already for y'know, killing kits and being killed by an old medicine cat?

Thistleclaw: You were killed by your own brother, shut up.

Hawkfrost: *hackles rise* Well YOU were killed by a BORDER patrol.

Tigerstar: He does have a point; I expected more of you.

Hawkfrost: You got nine lives ripped out of you at once, you can't talk.

Tigerstar: *is about to speak*

Darkstripe: *jumps in* ONLY BECAUSE SCOURGE CHEATED.

Sparrowfeather: *calmly grooming herself* How did you two die anyway? *looks at Snowtuft and Maggottail.*

Snowtuft: You know...*thinks and sticks out tongue* I don't remember.

Maggottail: I ate a bird with some maggots in it and got sick.

Snowtuft: So your name was posthumously changed to Maggottail?

Maggottail: *looks away* No. It was just a lucky guess.

Snowtuft: That's harsh.

Brokenstar: *clears through* BACK TO THE PLAN.

Maggottail: WE STILL NEED TO CHOOSE A LEADER

Mapleshade: I humbly accept the position and will do my best to serve and mother all of you.

Sparrowfeather: No one asked you. I'd rather not be followed by the crazy she-cat.

Mapleshade: We're the only known Dark Forest She-Cats! We need to stick together!

Sparrowfeather: *sarcastic* Oh? Should I make us matching collars?

Tigerstar: NO COLLARS. Especially not one with teeth on them.

Hawkfrost: Maybe we could hold a vote?

Snowtuft: A vote? Have you been sleeping for the last four entries of this?

Hawkfrost: Entries of what?

Snowtuft: *glances at Maggottail who puts away a tape recorder* Never mind.

Thistleclaw: This is the Dark Forest. Not a Democracy.

Tigerstar: *thinks* Maybe that's been the problem all along. If the Clans were democratic instead of Monarchic, we'd all not have had to do the things we did!

Sparrowfeather: Well, it's too late now. What're you gonna do? Appear in cats dreams and convince them to take over the Clans for a glorious new age of Warriors? *snorts* Typical.

Brokenstar: You know...she may be onto something.