Chapter 5

Despite how his lips were sealed for Aomine's sake, Kagami couldn't stave off a pestering Momoi, and either her extreme prowess for collecting data had led her to a critical clue, or she'd managed to glean something from Kuroko or from Aomine himself, because Kagami certainly hadn't told her anything. She and Kuroko had ganged up on him the first chance they got, which wasn't very convenient considering he was trying to get home from work at the time, but he couldn't very well just bolt and leave them hanging when they knew he had spotted them. When the two had cornered him in the parking lot, red flags had automatically shot up in Kagami's mind, but he barely had a chance to get a word in edgewise before they both started talking at once, demanding answers.

"I already told you, I don't know why Aomine is acting -" he began exasperatedly, but his efforts were futile.

"You might as well come clean, Kagami-kun," Kuroko interrupted calmly, leaning against the side of Kagami's car.

"Just talk to us," Momoi added, something between pleading and commanding that set Kagami's teeth on edge.

"Look, it's not my place to tell you about Aomine's personal life," he muttered.

"Is too," Momoi argued, "You are his personal life."

"Well yes, I'm a part of it, but that doesn't mean I…" he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling exhaustion from the long day creeping over him, "You won't like it, if I do tell you."

"But we still want to know!" Momoi shot back, her bright eyes like daggers, "We have a right to; something is wrong and we're his friends… I thought you were too."

Her words hit their mark, and Kagami winced; dropping his gaze as shame fell like a brick into his stomach. He swallowed and glanced up at Kuroko, whose expression remained inscrutable, but he tilted his head slightly, and Kagami thought it was safe to bet he had a pretty good idea of what he was going to hear.

"Fine." he grit out, shoving his hands in his pockets and slumping in disappointment to find them empty; he could have really used a cigarette to lessen the tension stacking up on him, "But don't...don't tell anyone, alright? People would freak out and he...we don't need that."

Momoi raised a hand and bit one of her fingernails, and Kuroko just blinked at him expectantly. Kagami could feel betrayal pricking at him, and wondered if it would even be possible to escape answering them now. No, he'd made his bed and he had to lie in it.

"Aomine is...he's an addict." It felt false, somehow, but also strangely liberating, to finally say it out loud, "He's...been shooting heroin for about two years."

Complete silence fell. So complete that Kagami started counting the seconds, and almost got to the double digits before it was broken. He didn't like the knowing look that had settled on Kuroko's face, like he'd just had a hunch confirmed; like it was in no way out of left field for him. It was not an approving look, but it definitely wasn't as shocked or appalled as it could have been.

Momoi on the other hand...was definitely taken aback.

"Two years?!" she was shrieking, pink hair flying as she shook her head in denial, "No way, that's impossible! Dai-chan wouldn't -! He would've told me if…" she made a wordless sound of frustration and dismay and clenched her fists, "Why hasn't he said anything? Why haven't you? How has he been getting ahold of it? Do his parents know about this?"

Under the assault of questions, Kagami actually took a step back, shielding his head with his hands as if bracing for a physical blow.

"No." he managed, straightening after a moment and returning his hands to his pockets, "They reacted badly enough to finding out we were together, I can...understand why he wouldn't tell them. I don't know where exactly he's been getting it, he won't say, but I don't think it's his original source from high school anymore. And I haven't...said anything...because I didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to turn on him."

"It wouldn't be turning on him -" Momoi began, looking reproachful, "You just want to help him...don't you?"

Kagami opened his mouth to answer, and then closed it again. He made a helpless gesture with his hands, scrambling for words to explain, "I do. Of course I do, that's all I want. But he...he's so alone in this, if...he couldn't count on me by his side anymore...he'd have no one."

"So you defend him," Momoi crossed her arms over her chest slowly, "Even when he's in danger of ruining his life, not to mention what he's doing to himself...how can you support that?"

"If I turned my back on him none of it would stop." Kagami pointed out, unable to find defiance or even loyalty to tone his voice; he just sounded tired, even to his own ears, "Nothing would change, it would only get worse. I don't support it; it makes me sick to even think about supporting what he's doing...but I'll allow it, I'll tolerate it, because I can't force him to stop. I love him...and I don't want to see him fall."

"He's falling already," Kuroko murmured, chipping in for the first time in a long time, his voice devoid of accusation or reassurance; devoid of anything at all, "You've just gotten good at looking the other way, Kagami-kun."

He might as well have kicked Kagami in the stomach, and he actually felt an inclination to double over, as if he had.

"I am not blind." he growled, hating to direct the hostility toward his close friend, perhaps his closest, but self-defense was kicking in, joining his defense for his boyfriend, "I know what he's doing, I've seen it. I know it's wrong, I know it's dangerous; hell, I know it's...k-killing him a little more every day…" he broke off, taking a deep, shaky breath to try to steady himself before going on, "...I don't know what you would have me do about it."

Kuroko fell silent again, lowering his icy gaze. He looked strangely disappointed, and it both hurt and pissed Kagami off, at the same time.

"Talk to him," Momoi suggested, "Maybe you can help him quit…"

"You think I haven't tried?" Kagami demanded, rounding on her, "You think I haven't bent over backwards trying to open his stupid, fucking nearsighted eyes to what he's putting at risk? What he's going to lose before he even realizes he had it?" His life, at the top of the list… he swallowed again, feeling like he was choking down nails, and looked away.

"Don't attack Momoi-san," Kuroko said shortly, without looking up.

A strained silence drew out, and Kagami acknowledged that he would have some explaining to do when Aomine asked what he was doing home so late. He wasn't used to having to explain any such thing...unused to sharing his home with someone; he hadn't had that since he lived with his dad. But Aomine had well and truly moved in with him - since confessing his relationship to his parents after graduation, and subsequently walking out their door for good; their shocked, condemning words bouncing off his back - and that came with its ups and downs.

"I know you must be frustrated," Momoi spoke after several seconds, her voice noticeably more gentle, and a little tremulous with emotion, "And you must think you don't have anywhere to turn...but just because Dai-chan cuts himself off from everyone, it doesn't mean you have to. You don't have to just stand by and watch."

Kagami raised his head to meet her soft rose eyes, "What do you mean?"

Kuroko glanced at her, and then at Kagami, and gave a very small, dry smile, "If you need to talk about it, or something happens, you can come to us."

Momoi nodded, "And if you ever need a break, you're welcome to stay with either of us, as long as you need to. Even my endurance for putting up with Dai-chan has its limits."

"I'll always be willing to put up with him." Kagami declared, with conviction, squaring his stance.

Kuroko's small shoulders lifted in a half-shrug, "The offer still stands. We are your friends….and we are Aomine-kun's too, whatever decisions he makes."

Still unsure where the dramatic shift of tone came from, wondering if the two of them had orchestrated it, Kagami inclined his head assent, "Th-thank you."

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"So they know," Aomine's voice was blunt, but surprisingly calm, and he didn't look up from his plate as he picked at the food Kagami had prepared. Kagami had expected him to be furious; to accuse him of betraying his trust, or something like that, but aside from an initial tensing of his shoulders, he hadn't betrayed any real reaction to the news that his secret was out to Momoi and Kuroko.

After a moment, he heaved a sigh and pushed his plate away, mostly untouched, "The others will know shortly, then." It was a matter-of-fact statement, with no room for doubt.

"I don't think they'll tell -" Kagami began.

Aomine shook his head dismissively, cutting off his...arguments? Reassurances? He didn't know. "Akashi will figure it out first, probably. Most of what happens in our little group doesn't escape his notice. But let me illustrate what I mean. How many people did we tell about us?"

Kagami shrugged, "I didn't tell anyone...Kuroko figured it out himself, and -"

"Exactly." Aomine interrupted, "...Before my parents, I didn't tell anyone either."

Kagami blinked. It was common knowledge among the Generation of Miracles that Aomine and Kagami were together, even most of Kagami's former teammates knew. How did that information get around if neither of us said anything?

"I mean…" he said slowly, "...People could have figured it out from watching us, I guess…"

"And the people who never saw us together?" Aomine prompted, "Here's the thing. Tetsu has got a direct line to Akashi, and to that former coach of yours. Important information he thinks they need to know -" he made a swooping gesture with one hand, " - goes right to them."

"So he's a snitch?" Kagami asked, mentally cringing at all the information his "shadow" must have gleaned from him throughout three years of high school together.

Aomine huffed a laugh and shook his head again, "No, just good at spreading things around, if they're important. He doesn't really believe in being secretive, if it conflicts with his morals. If one of his friends is in trouble, for instance, he'll definitely pass the word along."

"And is one of his friends in trouble?" Kagami tried, lifting an eyebrow.

The bluenette sighed, "He seems to think so. I'll bet he's even more convinced after today." Abruptly, he stood up from the table, a look of determination on his face that immediately captured Kagami's interest.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as the the other started to walk away.

Not even sparing him a glance, Aomine threw a brief response over his shoulder, "Just wait there."

Kagami obeyed, drumming his fingers on the table as curiosity gnawed at him. Something had clicked into place in Aomine's head, he could almost sense it….some decision had been reached. He'd had the exact same look in the split-second before he'd lunged and initiated their first kiss, two years ago.

Aomine returned, a few minutes later, but now he was almost dragging his feet. He was holding something in his hands, and even with his blue gaze on the floor Kagami could see that his drive had been replaced by indecision.

"Stand up, and come here," he ordered, shifting his feet slightly.

Kagami hesitated, but did as he was told again, pushing back his chair and rising to his feet, approaching his boyfriend uncertainly.

"What's this about?" he pressed, having not received a real reply for his earlier question.

By way of answer, in a sharp, forced motion Aomine thrust what was in his hands at Kagami, and immediately took several steps back, as if retreating from a live bomb.

Kagami glanced down at his hands uneasily, and then did a double-take. In a large plastic bag, Aomine had presented him with about five thin, individually wrapped needles and a smaller bag of white powder that neither carried nor needed a label.

"Wha…?" he began incredulously, nonplussed.

"Get rid of it." Aomine's voice was a little unsteady, but that note of fervor had returned, and he had his hands firmly behind his back, as if restraining himself from reaching out to snatch the items back. He swallowed dryly before adding an urgent "Now."

"But...wh-what...why?" Kagami stammered, fairly certain that his jaw had come unhinged.

Aomine's gaze was still averted resolutely, and after a moment he burst out, "Because I'm fucking sick of it! I'm giving it up, so throw that shit away before I fucking change my mind!"

Kagami took a step back, both wanting to leap at the golden opportunity and take Aomine's temperature to see if he was sick, "You do realize…?"

"I know." Aomine grit out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Now do it. ...Do what I can't, Kagami; I'll never ask for anything again."

Recognizing that he was all but being pleaded with, though scarcely believing it, Kagami gave another jerky nod, even if Aomine couldn't see it, and made a dash for the bathroom, dumping the bag's contents into the toilet after only a moment's hesitation. It took two flushes to convince the plumbing to sweep it all away, but after that it was gone without a trace.

Breathing heavily though he wasn't sure why, Kagami returned to his boyfriend's side, and hesitantly reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. Aomine's hand was trembling just slightly, but it stopped when Kagami smoothed his thumb over his knuckles soothingly.

"Was that all of it?" he prompted quietly.

Aomine bit his lip and nodded twice shakily, "That was...that was all of it."

Kagami was silent with him for several seconds, letting the revelation sink in, that it was finally gone...and then a large smile spread across his face. Throwing his arms around Aomine's neck, he pulled his head down and brought their lips together hard, clenching a hand in his short, dark hair and giving him the deepest, sloppiest, most heartfelt kiss he could muster.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered after he withdrew, tracing Aomine's cheek as they both panted for breath, "You're free. It's over now."

For a moment, a spark of relief came into the familiar indigo eyes that Kagami loved to death, but it passed just as quickly, and Aomine set his jaw, "It's not over yet."

Kagami sighed, acknowledging that he was right. Disposing of everything was one thing, now he had to detoxify while it all left his system, and Kagami neither knew how long that would take, nor what it entailed. But at least this was a step in the right direction...a rather enormous step that had come out of nowhere and lifted a huge weight off Kagami's shoulders. He couldn't even imagine how Aomine must have been feeling.

"Still," he encouraged, nudging his boyfriend's shoulder, "That took some balls, what you did. I think you should be rewarded."

Aomine blinked, and then looked at Kagami, the beginning of a smirk edging the side of his mouth, "What did you have in mind?"

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He should have known it was too good to be true. The shaking was his first real hint at the impending living nightmare he was going to pay witness to. Almost twelve hours had passed, and Aomine was curled up asleep in his arms as Kagami awoke, both of them still void of clothing and slick with sweat, exhausted from hours of lovemaking. It started as just occasional tremors, and Kagami chalked it up to the cold, wrapping himself and the blankets tighter around his shivering boyfriend, but it didn't stop no matter what he did. In contrast, now that he was closer he could feel that Aomine's skin was burning up, and some of the sweat streaking his shoulders and neck was fresh, not just lingering from the night before. In fact, he was drenched in it, and while Kagami was used to seeing a sheen of perspiration about him, it wasn't usually so profuse, and when he ran a hand through Aomine's hair he found it likewise soaking.

"Aomine?" he murmured, stroking his fingers through the damp blue strands again.

Aomine stirred with a muffled groan of protest, as reluctant to join the waking world as ever, and his eyes - hazy with fever instead of high - slitted open and wandered to Kagami.

"How do you feel?" Kagami asked tentatively.

Slowly sitting up, Aomine shook an alarming amount of sweat from his hair, and then braced a hand against his forehead as if the motion was painful, "Like I was hit by a fucking semi truck," he muttered dully, gazing at his shaking hands as if looking through them, "I think part of that was your fault, though, I'm going to be walking funny for like a week."

Kagami picked up a pillow to hit him over the head, feeling a flush climbing up his cheeks, but thought better of it and set it down, not wanting to make him feel any worse physically.

"Well now you know how I always feel," he replied instead, adding a note of teasing into his voice to try to lighten the mood.

It worked, a little, and Aomine gave a tired smirk, "Good. Then I've been doing you well."

The double entendre only increased the heat rushing to Kagami's face, but it was a nice reassurance that Aomine was more or less alright. Some of the worry faded, but it never fully disappeared, and it would only keep returning with a vengeance over the course of the following days.

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Two days had passed since Aomine decided to quit, and his body was purging itself in more ways than one. While it struggled to get accustomed to being drug free, it was also sending him to the bathroom frequently to empty his stomach of what little he was putting in it. Kagami accompanied him when he could, for moral support, and the fact that Aomine didn't gripe about it or even protest at all told Kagami that this was serious...more serious than he'd originally imagined. Aomine was unnaturally quiet, trembling violently and sweating copious amounts as he tried to go through his everyday life with one major exception….now he was sober. But he looked worse than ever; his skin was yellow-ish and unhealthy, his eyes appeared sunken and hollow, and they darted with...what almost looked like fear. That in particular he didn't understand, but he didn't ask for fear of adding insult to injury, and Aomine didn't volunteer any information. He didn't even answer when Kagami asked how he was feeling anymore.

As the sun was setting, Kagami was attempting to start dinner, mindlessly chopping vegetables just to give his hands something to do, when he heard Aomine's footsteps enter the dining room, and he looked up as a force of habit, painful as it was to see him like this. It was strange, because the twisting of his stomach - a mix of sympathy and sorrow - was meshed with incongruous surges of pride in his boyfriend, for going through with the withdrawal, for not backing out just because it was difficult. He'd always admired his refusal and bordering inability to give up, though it was somewhat rare to see it in action.

He returned his attention to his celery, bringing the stainless steel of the knife down in quick succession, and almost cut his fingers off as he jolted at a sudden thud behind him. Whipping around, he saw Aomine gripping the edge of the dining room table with white knuckles and panicked eyes, arms and legs trembling as if they would give out at any moment. Kagami was at his side in an instant, dread coursing through him with painful, icy claws.

"What happened?" he asked frantically, hooking an arm around Aomine's back and guiding him to sit down.

"T-tripped," the bluenette muttered hoarsely, gratefully sinking into the chair.

"Over what?"

Aomine didn't answer for a moment, something like shame joining the unease in his eyes, "...Nothing."

Kagami's imagination summoned an immediate, vivid mental image of Aomine's shaking legs unable to support him, of him staggering, and grabbing the edge of the table to keep from collapsing like a cut marionette. He felt something twist at his heart, and knelt in front of his boyfriend, trying to read his downcast gaze. Aomine's lips were moving, but Kagami couldn't make out what he was saying, so he leaned closer.

"Sorry...I'm sorry…" He was taken aback by what he heard; Aomine never apologized for anything, even when he was truly in the wrong, and his voice was feeble, dry as a desert, and shaking with some nameless terror. Kagami didn't know what to say, but staring into those haunted deep blue eyes, that ever-present flicker of fear finally registered. It was the senseless, primal dread an animal experiences when it knows it's going to die.

And he came to a slow, aching realization, which caused him to slump forward, eyes pricking with tears. Momoi and Kuroko hadn't understood, when they told him to "help" Aomine quit...he himself hadn't understood until a moment ago. But he couldn't look a human being who was honestly scared to death in the face and keep holding what his body was telling him would save him out of his reach. He just couldn't...let alone a person he had come to love with such a fire, whom he shared so much of his life with. Making Aomine keep doing this would not be "helping" him.

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So he gave in. He certainly wasn't proud, but he came to the final decision the next day, when Aomine had been so weakened he couldn't even get out of bed. He'd been getting up unsteadily to vomit, more than once, during the night, but now he looked like he could barely even move. He looked fragile, and fragile was something Aomine Daiki simply shouldn't be.

With the last remnants of his fierce determination, Aomine dragged himself up and tried to stand, only managing a few seconds before his legs failed him, and he braced himself against the bed, shaking his head stiffly and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Lie down, Aomine," Kagami pleaded, helping him back into bed, "Just rest...please…"

Aomine put up a weak protest, but then complied; collapsing bonelessly on the mattress and curling into a ball, as if that would ease the shivers wracking his body. He was repeating a mantra again, but where yesterday it had been a frantic "I'm sorry", now his slurred, mumbling voice repeated something else...a measurement. No, a dosage, and a location of where he must have kept a stash, despite his assurance that everything had been disposed of. He had lied...again. Kagami didn't know if he felt guiltily relieved or just plain betrayed, but he followed the wavering, muffled instructions nonetheless.

He got more up close and personal with Aomine's "girl" than he ever wanted to, but he'd seen it done a million times, and he had to know how to give his lover what he needed. ….What he thought he needed. Had to know how to prepare the needle; had to memorize the dosage so he wouldn't kill Aomine with the only thing that would make him feel okay again. And he had never been more disgusted with himself than when he slipped the syringe into an abused vein and pressed the stopper down to flood Aomine's bloodstream with the drug he'd managed to deprive himself of for three whole days, through sweat and tears and humiliation. All for nothing. He wanted to fling the horrid thing away from him, or throw it in the toilet with the rest of its brethren, but he forced himself to complete the task, and then joined Aomine, lying down with him in their bed.

For hours there was no noticeable change, and he felt more wretched with every passing minute, but he still held his incapacitated boyfriend protectively to his chest and stroked a hand again and again through his sweat-soaked hair, speaking to him softly, murmuring soothing things, though he didn't expect or receive a response.

"It's okay Aomine...you'll be okay… You're so strong, so brave... I love you…"

In the middle of the night, the trembling finally stopping was enough to wake him up, and he held Aomine tighter...though he acknowledged this step back towards "normal" with a sense of failure instead of success. But he wouldn't ever call the mess Aomine was in his own fault again, because whether he'd started on his own or not, he almost killed himself trying to stop, and faced a horror Kagami was fairly certain would revisit him in his dreams, stamped in his memory as a reminder of what happened when he double-crossed his "girl".

TBC