Chapter 8

Three days before…

Kagami made good on his word and called up Kuroko as soon as he was able, though it was about a week later that he finally said he was free and could come over to spend some time with his two former "lights". And of course, the first thing Aomine did was pounce on the chance to play basketball with him, inviting Kagami to join so they could alternate who had Kuroko on their team and "see which light/shadow duo was really the best". How could Kagami have refused when he seemed so eager, tugging him by the arm and honest-to-God beaming with excitement? Of course, part of him knew that some of that exuberance was because he'd recently been drugged up and was flying high as a kite; and judging from the sidelong, almost concerned glance Kuroko shot the bluenette when he stepped outside - dragging Kagami by the wrist like a child - he knew it too.

At first, all went well. Not for Kagami, who was promptly trampled under the wicked combo of Aomine and Kuroko working together; but Aomine seemed to be enjoying himself, and despite how none of them had practiced diligently - or even played seriously at all - in some time, it only took a few moments and the familiar sensation of a basketball at their fingertips for neglected muscles and reflexes to remember their purpose and snap into action. Even though he started out a little stiff, eventually Kagami loosened up as his body became accustomed once again to all the running and stopping and pivoting, though it did little to help him hold his opponents at bay; and outnumbered - possibly outclassed - he knew immediately he was going to lose. But even with that knowledge, he didn't hold back, blocking Aomine for all he was worth and stealing the ball whenever he could manage it, jamming it repeatedly into the single, battered hoop that stood on a concrete makeshift court behind the apartment building.

It had been only twenty minutes and he was already worn out; panting for breath and dripping sweat, and God, he'd missed this. The rough, dimpled surface of the basketball leaping to his hands, the thrill as his feet left the ground, legs propelling him like coiled springs until he wondered if he could just sprout wings and fly, the satisfying swish of the net as he drove the ball home, surrendering to gravity and slamming back to Earth like a meteor a moment before the round, orange projectile joined him there. Even when the ball was snatched out of his hand by the apparition of Kuroko, coming out of nowhere like the phantom he was so often named, he was grinning ear to ear.

It wasn't hard to see that Aomine felt the same. He seemed lighter, happier than he'd been in a long time; as he streaked gleefully back and forth across the pavement, intercepting Kuroko's blazing passes and tossing them in one by one, he almost looked...relieved. It had been years, Kagami knew, since he'd played on the same team as Kuroko, and he could see that the grin his boyfriend couldn't seem to fight off his face was partially nostalgia, racing along the court beside his old friend; running on the same path, aiming for the same goal.

He'd heard Aomine say once that a good game of basketball was better than sex, and since as far as he knew the only sex Aomine had ever had was with him, he might have taken offense if he didn't actually agree with him. There was nothing that quite compared, and even as he accepted his defeat with a resigned smile, watching Aomine clap Kuroko on the shoulder victoriously, laughing out loud, he couldn't believe he'd deprived himself - deprived Aomine - of such a simple joy for so long.

When it came time to switch teams, Kagami was both eager to teach Aomine a lesson and redeem himself, and a little bit reluctant to push his tiring body further, knowing it would be difficult to get up for work tomorrow morning if he gave everything he had. Impending soreness aside, he sized up his opponent, and immediately, he could see that his own weariness paled in comparison to Aomine's. The first game had ended several minutes ago, but he was still breathing hard, eyes dull, drenched in sweat, and if Kagami had looked close he would have seen his hands and knees trembling slightly. It had been a long time since he'd exercised so intensely; his body was unused to it, and Kagami wouldn't have been surprised if his stamina had been greatly depleted by years of deliberately damaging himself. He knew his own had been cut down a bit with his excessive smoking habit, making it more difficult to catch his breath, and he'd admittedly hunched over and coughed his throat raw after that first match was over, aware of two sets of blue eyes watching him, perhaps just a little judgmentally.

It was a relief to be able to rely on Kuroko, when the second round started, and though he was scarcely able to see his passes coming, he was grateful for them, his gratitude gradually giving to euphoria when he noticed it was much easier to score this way, and Aomine - arrogant, the-only-one-who-can-beat-me-is-me Aomine - was starting to fall behind. He was so wrapped up in the rhythm, drumming the ball against the ground and leaping to plunge it into the net, coordinating with the "shadow" he hadn't played alongside since leaving high school behind, that for a moment he didn't notice the warning bells that should have been going off in his head; as Aomine fumbled the ball when he tried to catch it, allowing it to be stolen by Kuroko, as he slowed to let Kagami take another basket, not even trying to stop him, or go for the rebound. He could hear how labored his breath had gotten, sawing in his chest; could see the sweat pouring down his forehead, flicking from his hair like rain when he tried to shake it out of his face; but, he was ashamed to admit, the alarm didn't fully register until his boyfriend tried to set up a screen to block him, and his shaking legs crumpled.

"Aomine!" he gasped, fear lancing through him, as the bluenette fell to his hands and knees, shoulders heaving, seeming to be unable to get enough air.

Letting the basketball fall from his hands and bounce away, Kagami knelt in front of him. He couldn't see his face as his head was bowed, but he could hear him gulping desperate, wrenching breaths.

"Aomine, can you hear me?" he thought it might have been a little too much to ask for him to say anything back, but he at least wanted to get him to look up. How could I let it get this bad? I knew he was exhausted, but...I made him play anyway…

Glancing up, he saw Kuroko approaching at a run, and the slighter man crouched beside him, icy blue eyes questioning, "What happened?"

"I don't know, he just fell…" Kagami said numbly, wiping sweat from his own forehead, watching Aomine's dripping on the ground, "...He's so wiped out."

Kuroko's face seemed to harden, and he stood again, walking over to Aomine's other side, "Help me get him to his feet, Kagami-kun; we'll take him inside."

Aomine raised his head a fraction, as if in response to the calm voice; Kagami only got a moment to look in his blurred, dizzy eyes before he ducked his head again, and a shudder ran violently through his body, followed by the sound of vomit splattering on the ground. He winced in sympathy as Aomine managed a protesting, wavering groan; the sound was barely out before his shoulders heaved again, and he emptied his stomach of everything he'd eaten recently.

Impulsively, he reached out a hand, smoothing it comfortingly down his boyfriend's back as he panted raggedly for breath, spitting in disgust on the growing puddle of vomit.

"Fucking gross…" he heard him mumble, his voice uncharacteristically tiny and miserable.

"Shh," Kagami murmured, the hand stroking his back moving up to his soaking hair, brushing it away from his forehead, "It's okay; we're going to get you inside and cleaned up in just a minute. Just hang in there for me..."

With that, he hooked an arm under Aomine's, supporting his back while Kuroko took the other side, and together they hoisted him to stand. He could feel Kuroko's gaze on him; boring into him, compelling him to look up, but he was too focused on trying to read Aomine's condition. He was half-stumbling, half letting himself be dragged inside, and seemed like he could barely keep his eyes open, his breathing that had been so rough a moment ago suppressed and shallow, and his head kept falling forward, to the point that he almost bumped his chin on his chest more than once.

The stairs were torture, and even with the combined efforts of Kagami and Kuroko hauling Aomine's more or less deadweight form up them, it still took ages to reach the landing, and both he and his "shadow" were out of breath by the time they stumbled into Kagami's apartment. Kuroko let Kagami take it from there, stretching his small back and saying dully that he was going to go fill a glass of water for Aomine to wash the sour taste out of his mouth.

"Do you want to change clothes?" Kagami asked his boyfriend in an undertone, eyeing the stains of sweat and sick all down his shirt.

Aomine lifted his head just slightly and then let it drop again, which he supposed counted as a nod, "Yeah," He almost didn't hear the affirming reply, it was so quiet.

It wasn't normal for Aomine to be quiet. Bad things happened when Aomine was quiet.

Swallowing uneasily, he supported the bluenette all the way to their bedroom and helped him sit down on the bed, peeling his soiled shirt off of him and tossing it into the hamper across the room without even looking. He then located a fresh one and pulled it down carefully over Aomine's head, guiding his arms through the sleeves and watching the winces of discomfort crossing his face. Kagami's hands lingered on his long, tan arms slick with sweat, sliding slowly down toward his wrists and pausing at the scars on his left inner elbow. He felt his own breath catch in his chest, and, quickly stifling tears before they could form, he let go, rising to his feet.

"Kagami?" Aomine prompted softly, looking up at him with bleary, listless eyes.

Kagami made a noise in the back of his throat that could have passed for a response.

"...Did I win?"

He felt something yank on his heart, and sighed deeply, plastering a small, fabricated smile on his face, "Yeah...yeah, you beat me good." His voice and his mask cracked mid-sentence, and he shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants, looking away because it was painful to see Aomine in this state.

There was a drawn out moment of silence, broken eventually by Kuroko appearing, holding out the glass of water in his hand towards Aomine.

"Can you hold this without dropping it?" his voice was impassive, as always, but there was a note of rigidity in it, edging towards distaste.

"I think so," Aomine muttered, accepting the glass with shaky hands and taking a tentative sip from it, then a longer swallow, tipping his head back slightly to let the liquid rinse out his throat that was probably sore and bitter-tasting.

"You should rest," Kagami said, "I'll let you know when dinner's ready; you can decide if you want to eat or not then." He acknowledged that Aomine probably should replenish what his body had just purged him of, but he wasn't going to force food down his throat, especially if he was feeling unwell.

"Is it alright if I stay, Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asked from beside him, shifting his weight slightly.

"Of course," Kagami nodded, without looking at him, "We should both give Aomine some peace and quiet, though, so he can sleep."

Kuroko gave a sound of agreement, and when Kagami looked away from Aomine's face to turn his attention to his friend, he was already gone, as if he'd vanished into thin air.

Shaking his head slowly to himself, he gently laid Aomine down on the bed, placing a light kiss on his forehead; it felt raging hot against his lips.

"Call me if you need anything, Aho," he murmured against the damp, feverish skin, "I'll check up on you in about an hour."

"Okay," Aomine whispered, half-lidded eyes already fluttering closed.

Dragging himself away, Kagami hesitated in the doorway for a moment, before leaving the room and searching for Kuroko. Even just standing there, he'd felt tense...something in the back of his mind kept worrying nonsensically that if Aomine fell asleep, he wouldn't wake up again.

.

.

"Dinner's on the table!" Kagami called, not as loudly as he could have, in case Aomine was still sleeping, hanging his apron on its hook and clearing the counters off in the kitchen before heading into the dining room to see if anyone had answered his summons.

He'd checked in on Aomine as he'd said he would, about half an hour ago, and found him sound asleep, snoring quietly into his pillow. He'd scrunched up the blankets behind him, forming a sort of soft wall that hugged his back, and it had taken Kagami a moment to figure out what for. The way he'd positioned the comforter to line up with his body was very similar to the way Kagami would lie against him, and once it clicked that he'd created a sort of imitation-Kagami to compensate for the absence of the real one, he'd had to leave the room to keep from joining his sleeping boyfriend in bed, taking his rightful place beside him and holding him to his chest protectively. He'd considered it, but he didn't think it was worth letting dinner burn if Aomine was already asleep anyway.

The dining room was empty of both Kuroko and Aomine, and Kagami hadn't heard footsteps from either of them, or so much as glimpsed Kuroko since he'd left the bedroom after gaining his consent to stay. Frowning, he peered into the living room, but the light bluenette wasn't there either. He started to head toward the bedroom to see if Aomine had likewise disappeared, and froze as he heard lowered voices coming from the hallway. Leaning against the wall, around the corner from the speakers, he strained his ears to pick up what they were saying.

Eavesdropping...if Kuroko finds out, he's going to tear you a new one, He pushed the thoughts aside as Aomine's familiar, if slightly-scratchy voice registered. He must have gotten up, and felt well enough to move around and speak.

The immediate surge of relief he felt evaporated when the words registered.

"You have no goddamn right to judge me, Tetsu….you don't know what you're talking about."

"I have eyes," Kuroko retorted coldly, "I can see what this is doing to you, and Kagami-kun, even if he has willingly blinded himself to it."

"Kagami isn't blind," Aomine argued, sounding almost reproachful, "He knows, he...he gets it."

Kuroko made a sound that could have been a sigh or a grim laugh, "You take his side because he's taken yours. The point, Aomine-kun, is Kagami-kun is too in love with you to put up a fight and tell you when enough is enough. I, however, have no such inhibitions. You need help."

"So what are you going to do?" Aomine sneered, "What can you possibly do?"

"To you? Nothing." Kuroko said calmly, "You have done enough to yourself as it is. You are a lost cause; too far gone in your stubbornness and self-pity to be reasoned with. But Kagami-kun…"

"You'd turn him against me?" Kagami blinked; Aomine actually sounded uneasy. Not quite scared, but there was definitely stress in his voice. He was surprised how brutal Kuroko's words were, however mild they were in tone...he was hitting the places he knew would hurt, and really, he was more capable of that than most; he knew Aomine like the back of his hand.

"I would not," Kuroko responded serenely, "But I will talk sense into him, and open his eyes, if I have to."

"Are you threatening me?" Aomine's voice had dropped several octaves, and it sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth, "You can't do that. You can't take Kagami from me; he's all I have left, he's...everything…." The last word was little more than a whisper, but Kagami still caught it, and felt his heart just about stop in his chest.

"He listens to you," Now Aomine's voice was brittle and strained, as if each word were painful to get out, "...And you, Tetsu, you can be so fucking manipulative. You can twist words around and make me into the bad guy…"

"Aren't you?" Kagami lifted his head in surprise at Kuroko's short response. Completely deadpan, and therefore crueller even than if it had been laced with anger or disgust.

Aomine sighed heavily, "You're right. ...This is my fault," Kagami could barely believe his ears, and he had in fact pressed one ear against the wall, as if that would help him understand this conversation - argument? - he was overhearing, "But I did try to stop it; really, I did. You don't...you don't know what it was like."

Kagami heard fabric rustling and feet shifting on the hardwood floor, and he wished he could see what was happening, because it sounded an awful lot like one of them had pushed the other, or grabbed their shirt, or something.

"You will not receive my pity," Kuroko hissed, and Kagami could feel his own heart pounding against his ribs. He'd heard Kuroko angry, but he'd never heard him like this, and it was almost terrifying. Still matter-of-fact and prosaic as ever, but now his words were like icy barbs, "I respected you. Even before the day we met, you had my admiration, and I believed in you even when everyone else turned away. No longer. You've gone too far, Aomine-kun, I have nothing left for you now. Only disappointment."

Aomine was silent for a long moment, and Kagami wondered if he was reeling under the freezing hail of Kuroko's temper. He felt like he was, and those stinging words weren't even directed at him.

He almost heard Aomine swallow, "Tetsu…"

"You don't deserve any of what you have," Kuroko interrupted, enunciating each word as if speaking to someone deaf or particularly slow, "Kagami-kun's love is a gift; he does not owe it to you. It's unbelievable that it has lasted this long, and withstood so much; that kind of faith is rare and precious, and yet you shamelessly squander it. But that is not the only gift you are wasting."

Aomine said nothing, and Kagami couldn't even picture his expression. His own eyes had slipped closed, and he wanted desperately to round the corner and reassure his lover, but he couldn't let himself be found out, especially with Kuroko acting so unpredictable and unforgiving.

"You don't deserve Kagami-kun," Kuroko concluded, "You've already ruined yourself, but you are ruining him as well, and he deserves better than to be dragged down with you. It's time you stopped being so selfish and saw that."

Kagami thought he heard a sound from Aomine, like a hiccup or a suppressed sob. Is he crying? Shocked, mouth dropping open, he took a step back from the wall, unable to bear it.

"I know, I-I know…" Aomine stammered thickly, "You...you're right, you're a-a hundred percent right. You can...t-tell him what you want."

Kuroko's voice contained no sympathy, no bitterness; nothing at all, "That will not be necessary."

"Why?" Aomine choked out.

"I think you understand what you should do. What is best for Kagami-kun. Besides…." his tone changed the barest bit as he went on, and Kagami's heart leapt into his throat, "He has heard this entire conversation."

With that, Kuroko walked away, and passed right by Kagami, pausing mid-step and glancing at him with unreadable eyes, "I don't believe I'll be joining you for dinner after all," he said politely, "Thank you for the game earlier, and your hospitality, but I sense I'm no longer welcome." He tilted his head in the direction of the hall, where he'd left Aomine, and without another word, he turned and headed for the door.

Kagami wished he could direct his anger at Kuroko. He wished he could blame him for the shaking, shell-shocked and even tearful mess he found slumped against the wall when he worked up the nerve to enter that hallway and face Aomine, but...a lot of what he'd said - while harsh, harmful, and unfair - was true. Aomine was in too deep, he needed help, and he was damaging Kagami even as he damaged himself. It was probably an unbearably difficult pill to swallow, but it was reality. A reality Kagami had been unwilling to bring crashing down on him, especially not in such a manner. And Kuroko was right about that too; that he loved Aomine too much to raise a hand against him, in a manner of speaking, even for his own good.

Aomine said almost nothing the entire rest of the night. He ate in silence, forcing down bites that seemed torturous to swallow, no doubt because he knew Kagami would want him to have something in his stomach; he took a shower at his prompting, alone, and then joined him in bed. He wouldn't talk about Kuroko's confrontation with him, no matter how many times Kagami tried to broach the subject, no matter how many times he tried to soothe him with empty promises that it was okay, that he wasn't going to turn away from him, and that everything would work out in the end. Two of the three were probably bald lies.

He dully returned Kagami's eventual murmur of "goodnight", when all attempts at starting a dialogue with him seemed futile, and then just rolled over, giving Kagami his back. While that was about normal, right now it seemed a lot less like a gesture of trust, and a lot more like a cold shoulder.

.

.

Kagami awoke to Aomine's scent - sweat, masculinity, and a hint of the body scrub he used - so at first, he wasn't worried, and just let himself relax in half-sleep a while longer, not quite ready to face the waking world yet. But gradually, he registered the lack of warmth; the lack of the solid, steady form that should be curled up against him, and his eyes flew open. He was alone in his bed, lying in the indentation that was usually Aomine's spot, his face resting against Aomine's pillow. Sitting bolt upright, he looked around the room, as if it would reveal some sign of him, and then got quickly and unsteadily to his feet, almost tripping over them.

"Aomine?" he called, raising his voice so that it would hopefully carry throughout the house. When he received no reply, he broke into a run, trying to smother the panic that wanted to consume him, clawing up from his stomach. He checked each room at least twice, his repeated calls sharpening with more urgency the longer they went unanswered.

"Aomine, answer me!" he shouted, but in the back of his mind he knew he was just kidding himself...just wasting his time. Only ringing, ominous silence greeted his desperate pleas for a response. Aomine was gone, and he had no idea where to even start looking for him.

He returned to the bedroom, taking deep, measured breaths to try to keep from melting down, and fumbled frantically for his phone on the bedside table, almost dropping it; his hands were trembling so badly. Flipping it open, he found a single, short text message from Aomine Daiki, sent to him at 11:32 at night:

I love you, Kagami.

TBC