Hello! Honestly, you do not know how sorry I am that I haven't updated since summer. A lot of things have happened to me and if you actually care, PM me because I don't feel like talking about it openly. Anyways this is a quick one-shot I pulled together based on Breath Me by Sia. It's quite sad actually.

So, this is rated T because it touches on self harm, and if you're sensitive to that stuff, this may not be for you.

Setting: AU. Peddie is a lot more into feelings in this story but I'm trying to stay in character as well.

Go make yourself worth something, Patricia, you're so useless.

After the words were said, there was a quick glance to her wrist. The one she had always covered, with bracelets or just simply long sleeves.

She just wasn't worth anything.

She slammed the phone down, quickly, ending the call. She rushed up the stairs ignoring Eddie calling behind her and locked the bedroom door behind her. That's when it happened again. Tears, continuously spilling out of her eyes. Whenever her mother had called, Patricia would always attempt to avoid the argument. Maybe if it had been avoided, she wouldn't slash her wrist with that razor. Maybe if it'd been avoided, she wouldn't feel so low, that she could barely feel anything at all.

Patricia's eyes lingered on the drawer, the drawer where the razor was. And that's when there was banging on the door.

"Patricia! Open the door!" Eddies voice boomed from the other side, "Yacker, whatever it is, we can talk about it!" He was truly frustrated, he'd finally broken through her walls and knew that whenever her mom called it would result in a fight. However, he didn't know about the cutting. Eddie simply wanted to talk to his girlfriend, he wanted to know everything. It was like a mission of his, to make her feel loved.

Patricia was frantically rummaging through the drawer that consisted of random pens, notes, and little things. Then the shining piece of metal caught her eye. Carefully, Patricia picked it up and slid it across her wrist. And as blood trickled out, her eyes began watering again.

And that is when Eddie stumbled into the room. A confused, panicky look on his face when he saw her. When he saw his girlfriend, with tears staining her cheeks, a razor in her hand, and the sleeves of her flannel rolled up, "P-Patricia?"

She couldn't even meet his eyes. She felt so weak, "Eddie..." Patricia's voice trailed away, "don't tell...please." He nodded and made his way over to her, setting the metal on the table and engulfing her in a warm hug. Eddie didn't completely understand why she was harming herself, but he knew that he didn't want her to. So he just helped her clean up and decided shed tell him if she wanted to.

Patricia snuggled into Eddie's side inside of the light, fluffy comforter and closed her eyes. That's when the thought struck her, Why would Eddie Miller, date a girl who hurts herself and can't keep it together?

She bit her lip, pondering it for a moment. "Something wrong, Patricia?" Eddie asked. She felt so happy when she was with him, she loved the way he would talk to her, so delicately, like his words could break, then again, he had a playful tone to his voice sometimes, where his words hid his 'I love you's.

"You're going to break up with me, aren't you?" She asked.

Eddies eyes opened, wide of horror, "Of course not! Why would I?"

"Because I'm useless, I'm worthless, why should I be with you? You don't even need me. Imagine what people think of the fact that Patricia Williamson is actually in a relationship with Eddie Miller."

"Who actually cares? Yacker, I love you."

"You do?" It felt so unreal, to be loved. To be held. To have an actual friend, a boyfriend.

He ran his fingers softly through her dark auburn hair and pulled her closer with his free hand, "of course."

But she wanted to die.

He knew it.

She knew it.

She was still cutting.

Someday she was going to need to kill herself. To stay away, from the pain of being the second choice. From feeling unloved by someone who was meant to love you.

But today, she was saving herself.

Honestly, you can come and be mean to me cause this makes no sense...oh well, hopefully ill have another update by thanksgiving! Bye you guys, please review! I swear, I've read a story about saving herself, if that author is reading this, PM me lets figure this out 3