*A.N. – Sorry it's taken so long, I've been snowed under with work, the chapter is quite short (9100 words) I've just been too busy, I ended up just sitting down for a couple of hours the past few nights and making myself write lol, I hope you guys like it though x x*
I reached my new home with relief, thankfully, Charlie's police cruiser wasn't outside so I extracted my keys from my bag and opened the door, pulling off my heels as I stepped inside, rubbing my stiff feet, glancing at the somewhat dingy wallpaper – I would have to do something about that, it had been the same since I was a kid, now it was becoming yellowed and dingy, twirling up a some corners.
I walked softly up the stairs, inspecting the ceilings paint job – it looked as if it hadn't been painted for years, maybe not as long as the wallpaper but long enough for it also to need to be freshened.
I opened my room door, setting down my keys and bag, picking up the house phone, putting on a fake smile to help me with the act I was about to start and dialling the number my mother currently was using, I say currently because her number changes regularly, her scattiness certainly does not help her keep place of her phone so it becomes lost more and more often.
"Yello!" my mother answered, making my smile truer.
"How many times mom, please stop answering the phone like that," I was serious but she just laughed.
"It keeps me young... So how was your first day of school hunnie?"
I breathed deeply and set off on my list of positives, "It has nice people," lie, "I made lots of friends," I guess I did make a few, "I'm ahead of a few of the classes," true, "and I guess overall it was quite good."
I could sense her frowning on the other end of the phone, "tell the truth," she demanded.
"It was okay," I faltered slightly and she continued her interrogation.
"Truth,"
"It had a few cons," I admitted, hoping she would quite there.
"What's wrong with it then?" she drew out a harsh breath, "Is everyone being nice to you, do they remember you?"
"Uhuhhhhh,"
"You're sure everything's okay,"
"Yeah, " I answered, trying to think up an excuse to hang up, "Uhm, I'll call you later mom, I'm going out to dinner with Charlie tonight I think, so I'm going to dress up for it a bit, kay?"
"Mmm, I suppose, but don't forget to call me back, I worry,"
"I know mom, speak to you soon,"
"Love you baby,"
"Love you," I hung up the phone with relief.
I lay back on my bed, taking out the earphones from my blouse pocket, changing the playlist on my iPod to 'BS101' selecting shuffle and closing my eyes as the music drifted mercifully into my ears.
Alone again, naturally – this song could not be more perfect, maybe it's my fault I'm left alone, maybe I push people away, but that's the way it is, whether I like it or not.
With these thoughts in my head, I unintentionally fell to sleep, a tear trickling down my face, silently.
I was woken by the consistent beeping of my vibrating mobile; I sat up slowly, my back cracking with the action. Reached out to the bedside table, my eyes still foggy, I lifted the phone to my face and attempted to read the message which was flashing so violently.
My eyes finally focused and I saw that 3 messages were awaiting my opening.
Message1:
Sent today at 19:23
Sorry, I'm going to be late
in, there's been an incident I
need to check out, things for
dinner should be in the fridge
or freezer
Dad x
Crap was that the time already? I checked the digi-clock on my phone which told me that it was actually past that and was now 10 to 8.
Message2:
Sent today at 19:36
Hey Bella, it's Alice!
Jst tht Id txt u n giv u my no.
U cn call me, if u wnt.
Bt u sed u wd probs be out with
Ur Dad 2nite, so I thot, Id txt u
insted.
Alice xox
How sweet of her, I'm glad she texted and I would call her back tonight, once I'd eaten.
Message3:
Sent today at 19:47
Hi, just wondering if u
wud be busy this weekend
Leah, a few mates and I
are having a little hangout
in La push, we thought u mite
like to go,
Jake xx
I would definitely be going, they were all so sweet, Leah and I happened to get on pretty well and it would be nice to go out with friends that weren't in any way related to school.
I put my phone back down and ran down stairs as my stomach started to rumble.
Opened the freezer and stuck in some frozen chicken, just a couple of bits, mixing up a salad while I was waiting, it was a miracle my dad actually had salad in the house, but last time he went out for the weekly shop I had specifically asked him to put vegetables at the top of his list.
I sat down, watching the oven timer with yearning intensity. I laughed at myself; already I was trying to change things in this house, not really my nature, but what these stupid magazines had been programming me to act like that. Not me.
Charlie arrived home just as I had finished making the dinner, which was good, I got ready to apologize for not having done any housework but he didn't seem to interested the house, How was school?" he asked, his eyes burning into mine.
"Uhm, it was great," I nodded biting my lip a little, turning away and setting out his plate of salad. He gave it a slight look of disgust before he took it out of my hand.
He sat down across from me as I lifted a healthy forkful to my mouth, "Bella, elaborate – if anyone bothered you, you only have to say the word and-"
"No one bothered me," I interrupted, "It was good, I made a few new friends, a girl called Alice..."
"Alice Cullen?" He inquired, his mouthful of lettuce, he seemed to be enjoying it.
"Yeah, she's lovely – do you know her," I answered, acting very interested in my plate, my eyes stayed fixed on my food as he spoke to me.
"Is that not Edward Cullen's sister, I think she's adopted actually," I squirmed inwardly at the name but this new piece of information helped explain alot.
"I think so," I answered vaguely, an attempt to sidetrack the subject, a failed attempt.
"Come to think of it, I think the brother, Emmett is adopted too, Dr Cullen and Mrs Cullen are lovely people, the kids are a different matter; that Edward used to be a little troublemaker, and you never got on to well with him did you?"
"No," I spoke quietly, shaking my head as he continued.
"He seems okay now, but not exactly the most gentleman like. I saw him just a few days ago in the cafe down the road, surrounded by girls, all at his beck and call; it isn't right." He sniffed disapprovingly then quieted down, asking me a couple of questions about school throughout the rest of dinner, but nothing to in depth, I liked that about Charlie.
When we had finished dinner I made my way back upstairs to answer the texts I had gotten from Alice and Jacob, I had been in too much of hurry earlier to bother with texts but I now answered them both back, telling Jacob that I would be extremely happy to hang about with him and calling Alice once I had finished that.
We spoke about different fashions and slipped onto the subject of the only fashionable T.V. show which graces our screens – Gossip Girl. I found that even though fashion wasn't exactly the most interesting thing to me, I enjoyed just being able to talk to her, to socialize with someone whose personality ran in harmony with mine; I was also more than happy to keep away from the personal side of things. I managed to steer clear of any deep questions which could crack my voice and blow my cover.
The only part that really related to my family in anyway was that my dad was supposed to go out with me to dinner tonight and I told her about him being kept late at work, that couldn't really cause any trigger words.
Sadly, at the end of the conversation just as we were saying our goodbyes, Alice just happened to remember something, Rosalie had spoken of me and Alice wanted to check that it was really me who had helped Rosalie out of P.E. when had came down with that strong migraine.
"Oh, and Bella, before I go, I was just wondering, what actually happened to Rosalie, she said she feels alot better now, but Emmett said she looked like hell when he picked her up – I get the impression she's playing the whole thing down a little."
"Uhm," there wasn't really much to tell, "Basically she seemed really ill, we went to the changing rooms then I took her to the office; she did seem in alot of pain though," at these moments I was trying to lock out the fact that I was actually talking about my encounter with Rosalie Hale and not just a random friend of Alice's. It wasn't working.
Finally we finished up, I came away with a smile on my face, stubborn refusal running through my blood stream as if I had just been given a top up to keep me going. Everything within me would not allow for me to think of the biggest Asshole of them all, the one I had managed to get the slightest few remarks into here and there today without him hitting me or even being remotely violent.
That night I sorted out my things for school in the morning, studies a little then went to my bed; I needed a good night's sleep.
The week flew by, it blurred to me, and I found it hard to distinguish every thought while I was in and around the place. The number one shock to me was that I now had someone who resembled a very possible future boyfriend.
The next day, I had a note which had been slipped inside my locker,
'Did you know Bella means beauty in Italian...
I'm not surprised.
J x'
also with the note was a few loose red rose petals, I lifted them to my nose and inhaled their sweet smell. He was wooing me, and I had no problem at all with that, I had never expected this to happen but it was happening, and I was going to let it run its course, I deserved a little special treatment after all those years.
Classes went by and I found I was coping with views of people I used to know – I was so different to them, a whole different personality now that I could have no connection whatsoever to the small fat girl they used to laugh at.
I met James at interval; he found me from behind, grasping my hand and twirling me round in his direction. My heart thumped as I looked at him once again – he was better looking than I had thought – he also was now sporting a new haircut, one which I had fallen in love with already.
"I love your hair; it isn't for me by any chance, is it," I was surprised at the new Bella's boldness, not quite believing she could be so assumptive and outspoken.
He only smirked, his sparkling eyes doing some sort of dance, "would you like it to be for you, cause if you want, it's your," his lips brushed against my hand softly in an old gesture, just as Emmett sauntered up towards us.
His eyes traced over us, and I felt myself drawing nearer to James, frightened of his bulky form. James stood up a little straighter, his shoulder broadening out as he glared; he was maybe just under Emmett's height but nowhere near his width. I was somewhat proud of James then, to have the courage to even square up slightly to Emmett was pretty huge.
"Heyy Bella," he bellowed, cracking a large smile; relief washed through me for my sake but he still seemed to have an untrusting eye on James – not like he could talk. I flicked my log hair behind my ear and smiled slightly nodding in acknowledgement of him. "I was just wondering why you are hanging about with a good friend of mine James," I almost laughed the concept was so absurd; was Emmett really being protective of me?
"Number 1, how long have you known Bella, a day?" he had a point there – Emmett should think that he only knows me for a day, "Number 2 why is it any of your business?" I felt the tension rise significantly and I stepped a little bit forward of James, nearer to Emmett even though my knees had began to shake slightly just as they used to.
I put on a very worried face and stepped forward again, "how's Rosalie?" I asked, hoping to take him completely off of the subject.
He looked for a moment between James and I then answered my question a little doubtfully, "Uhh, I think she's fine, I made sure she stayed off today though, she really did look very ill last night and she ended up begging with me not to take to the doctors funnily enough,"
"Oh that's a shame I was kind of looking forward to talking to her, Alice has told me so much about her I kind of feel like I know her already," I laughed as did he.
"She should be back in school by tomorrow, "he added just as the bell rang for us to get to class.
James stepped forward and touched my arm ever so slightly, I turned just catching the disapproving look on Emmett's face, "I need to go to the office, I have a pass out for the dentist," he smiled, showing perfect straight white teeth, "I'll see you later, milady" he joked, before turning and walking quickly away.
"See yah," I breathed, as Emmett tapped me on the shoulder, "yeah?"
"Why do you like that boy, I mean really, what makes that measly rat attractive?"
"Emmett," I said, I shouldn't have been shocked in anyway but I was, I guess I had fallen for his Mr. Nicey act already. Gullible old me.
"Well you don't know what he was like in 4th and 5th grade – honest to god that boy was some was some sort of devil child!" he nodded as if to convince me, but I wasn't convince.
"Says you," I mumbled under my breath unable to control the rage boiling up inside me, how dare he talk about anyone else's problems with life, or as a person, him and the gang had all the bloody nasty problems under the son.
Memory [8 years ago]
I slammed onto the floor, inside the isolated corridor, their eager, evil faces watching me from several feet above, my hands trembled with the thoughts of what was coming next as Edward picked up both of my legs in his hands and started to drag me towards what I could only guess was the disabled toilet.
"Noooooo," I squealed as loud as I could but no one heard me, no one would come to my rescue. My hands smacked across the cold hard marble floor, the pain stinging in my palms as the others laughed at my desperation. "Let me go," I panted the sweat on my hands gliding across the floor as I tried to grasp onto something, anything. The squeak followed me, as Emmett opened the door in an effort and signalled for Edward to throw me in.
At this, I literally felt my life flashing before my eyes, I screamed again, sobs wrecking me, my shaking hands clasping onto the door frame as he managed to pull my legs through the door. The demon spoke and I quieted to bubbly sobs, knowing to cry hysterically through what he was saying would not be the smartest idea, "Now Isabella, you know the score, you will let go of that door frame, or the four of us will pull at your legs and most likely disconnect your shoulders – now what will it be – the easy or the hard way," he shrugged looking so calm and deceitful, I knew then that he was the one to be afraid of, Rosalie and Emmett might have the body, Tanya might have the words but Edward had everything, he overpowered me in everything, including sheer skill, I knew then that I would have to surrender or there would be hell to pay.
Slowly, my small sweating fingers unclasped themselves from around the frame, my mind spinning as he slowly dragged me in further to what I was sure would be his torture chamber then closed the door, the four of them crowded round me, gleaming wickedly. "Fun, fun, fun," Edward murmured.
I was a quivering wreck; there shouting and plans where just jumbled words in my mind "stupid" – "ugly" – "fat" – "embarrassment" – "cheeky" – "idiot" – "deserves it."
I still couldn't understand how they had known I would be inside the school at this time, they were supposed to be going home, only the kids who had paid for supported study were supposed to stay – I had made sure their names weren't on the list, I was so sure...
I was knocked out of my thoughts by a blow to the stomach; I looked up with a breath out at Rosalie, "wake up out of your fucking trance you ugly rat!" I sat up sliding quickly backwards so I was leaning against the wall.
"Get up," Edward murmured. I looked at him, I knew my eyes were pleading with him but his green ones stayed stone cold, I could see no emotion. I blinked. "Get up," a growl was now included in his words and his hand lunged forward, I let out a soft squeak and tried to move out of the way but he just pulled me to my feet by my collar.
At that moment I felt like a dog; I shook and moaned and begged to be let go, as if they were my masters, I felt like a criminal, like I had done something and deserved to be punished but I just couldn't understand what it was. I knew my weight was an issue but why did they care so much, why couldn't they just let me be, I have never harmed them but I'm treated like convict in prison.
"You know something Isabella, you should really start asking yourself why you are even alive, I mean who loves you really," I whimpered as his grip tightened on my collar, "tell me," I was silent. "TELL ME!" he screamed in my face and the others laughter seemed miles away, as if they were safety, he frightened me so much more than them, petrified me.
"My mom," I finally said, a tiny voice being emitted from me.
"Oh yeah, family have to love you, but really though, who loves you," he stared at me his eyes now glowing.
I knew I had to answer but I didn't want to get Angela into trouble, so I answered the inevitable what he had been wanting from me, maybe he would get it over with quicker if I gave in like this, "no one" suddenly he let go of me pushing me a little backwards as they laughed, he looked at me with a straight face, I thought I was getting out almost scot free when they ascended on me, the four of them, pushing me, kicking me, punching me, slapping me, nipping me, hitting me. Hurting me.
My agony was not short lived and it felt like it went on forever until my body was throbbing and tears felt like they couldn't go any faster but they needed to, because this was a new sort of agony, they had never went this far before, the four of them at once.
The pushed I to the ground, hitting my head of the toilet seat, send me into dizzy trances, I was only saved from more of that by Edward, he stopped them, made them sit me up and my body ached and watch as he took out my P.E. clothes, reading the labels out to them. "Bottoms –age 14-15!" they spluttered in laughter as my face reddened and my now cracked glasses slipped further down my sweating nose. He lifted out my large top.
"Oh my god! She has a tent in there!" Tanya chipped in. My cheeks now lobster, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Top – age 15-16!"
"Yeah it's definitely a tent!" Emmett laughed.
I buried my spinning head in my knees, for a second Edward's voice was panicky as he shouted at me. "Isabella?" I lifted my head, and his fearful face, changed to a smile one more as he put my bag into the large sink, turning the tap slowly as I inwardly moaned, knowing if I said or did anything to try and stop it I would just be hit again.
They jeered as all my school work was ruined, everything.
"Now for the last and most important part," Rosalie smirked as she bent down closer, "dunking time," she picked me up by the back of my hair as Emmett want to flush the toilet, it was still a yellow liquid at the bottom of it. "NO!" she shouted and Emmett froze.
"What?"
"Don't flush it, leave it," her face was the perfect picture of hell and heaven. I couldn't understand how someone so utterly beautiful could be so completely devilish.
"No," I cried, "please no, I'm begging you please don't," their tears rages down my sensitive cheeks which I was now sure would have red fingerprints across them, I moved my legs and gasped at the pain, My head spun and I swayed a little, "please," I begged one last time but she just shook her head humorously and proceeded.
They stuck my head into the most disgusting thing I have ever had this misfortune to touch as I balked and cried out for help until they were finally done with me.
My head swung again and again as my I was sick over and over, they left the room quietly laughing, giggling, proud of their work.
I glanced around me before vomiting once more, my things were scattered about the place, my flooded bag sitting on the sink.
I despaired as I thought of their faces, Tanya, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward.
[END MEMORY]
That memory had been one of the worst, I shook as I opened my eyes, embarrassed to realise that people were staring at me, and Emmett had caught me, I squirmed to be let go of, and looked at him, his eyes bore into mine and I wondered how he couldn't remember my eyes, how he hadn't worked out familiarities, I knew I had changed alot but had I really changed to this extent – I felt like the whole school was playing a big practical joke on me, pretending not to know me but really they all knew exactly who I was.
"What happened?" he asked, alarmed.
"I don't know, I just felt kind of dizzy..." I trailed off, starting to walk to class.
"You should really go to the nurses, Bella, that isn't good, it could be what Rose has," he tried to persuade me, clinging on gently to the back of my arm, trying to turn me in the direction of the nurses room, but I pulled away quickly, forcing myself to stay calm and nice.
"No thankyou, I feel okay now," I walked quickly away but he persisted.
"BELLA!" he shouted, catching up with me, "You just passed out! You need to go home," I turned to him with vengeance in my heart, but it softened as I saw the sincerity in his features, he was genuinely only interested in my wellbeing.
"I can't Emmett," my voice came out stiff, and I softened it as I went on, " I can't get sent home my dad would be worried sick, I feel okay now, I just has a dizzy spell, please just let me go to class."
He stopped walking towards me, "Are you sure you're okay?" he insisted, I nodded and continued walking, turning away and waving with one hand from in front.
"Bye, cya later!"
"See you."
I dreaded lunch, I would meet the source of all evil there – that being Edward Cullen. I took my time when making my way to lunch, going the long way and hiding at the back of the queue when I spotted the lot of the giggling and laughing somewhere near the front, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Emmett and Jessica seemed to be laughing at something Edward had just said, Jessica was laughing at a lunatic – you would have thought Edward was a professional comedian; I, however, wasn't fooled, it obviously just had nothing to do with Edward's comic skills and more to do with his strikingly good looks – as much as I hated him, I could admit that he was probably the nicest looking guy I'd ever met and probably ever meet but it didn't stop him being an arsehole. Full stop.
I hid behind the dopey Martin kid that I kept seeing around the school, his girlfriend clutched around his waist, they provided protection from the Cullen clan; I didn't want to have to hold in my anger again – but when they moved out of the way quickly, tickling and laughing with each other I was thrown into full view.
I blushed as Alice shouted for me, "Bella!" I looked at her directly and motioned for me to come over, as did Emmett, I walked over, head held high, you would near think my heart was pounding and I was very near to visibly shaking.
"You feel better?" Emmett asked, munching on a packet of crisps.
"Yeah, much," I smiled, "Aren't you just about to eat lunch?"
He nodded, Jasper cut in, "Emmett eats everything he can get his hands on," everyone laughed, disturbing Edward and Jessica's conversation which was being had right beside us, I took me everything not to scowl; eventually I just turned my head away as I saw his eyes scan over me, I spoke to Alice quickly, starting up a conversation before he did.
"So what are you doing after school?" I asked, picking up an apple and a bottle of water.
"Uhm, I think we're all going down to the town hall to check if the halls big enough for the party we're holding – do you want to come along?" I wasn't quite sure whether she was referring to the party or after school, so I chose the first.
"Oh that would be cool, when's the party?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward going back to his conversation with fickle Jessica. I was glad on one hand, but on the other hand I felt the hurt resurfacing, he was ignoring me just as he used to – I should make up my mind but I couldn't.
"The party's a week on Friday, so basically a week and a half away – it's gonna be such a laugh. Oh and by the way, I meant you could come with us after school as well if you want," the words never quite processed in my head straight away, I was too busy think of what a cheek Edward had to be chatting up what was obviously one the schools sluts right in front of his sister and brother.
"Uh, ehm, no I'm okay actually," I would have gone had it just been Alice and Jasper, maybe even Emmett, but as of yet, I still hated Edward.
At that moment Edward turned to me, telling Jessica he would see her later, she walked away giggling towards a table full of personality clones of her. "What is with you," he stated plainly, I watched as Emmett, Alice and Jasper turned to glare at him, trying to do it without being seen, but I saw them all – I was definitely warming to Emmett as much as I would have believed it impossible just a few days before. "Well, really though, you talk perfectly fine to the rest of my family yet I can see you growling at me, what the fuck have I done?" he looked confused and indignant, and I was afraid, his voice was slightly angry and I feared it, I unintentionally stepped closer to Jasper, not even knowing I was doing it.
I instantly felt bad for doing so, I was silent, quite in shock and fear of his anger, I felt Jasper tense, and I thought that this would be as far as this would go but it wasn't, Jasper took a step forward, he was around the same height as Edward, and they stared directly into each other's eyes, "Back off Edward, I'm warning you; I thought that temper of yours was gone," Edwards stiff face relaxed almost instantaneously.
"I'm not in a temper Jasper, "he said, with every air of serenity, "I just want to know why she acted like that in Biology but she's perfectly fine to talk to anyone else," I could understand where he was coming from, if I was just a random new girl it was fair enough that he ask the question and he didn't actually say it in a threatening tone, but I just couldn't move, he petrified me.
"I don't care what you want to know, don't talk to Bella like that, you seem to forget that you're a big boy now, no more of this shifting you weight around, Emmett learned the lesson, I thought you had too," Jasper sounded disappointed – I couldn't help but wonder if the "throwing you weight around" was a reference to what he had done to me.
Emmett stepped in at that moment, putting an arm around my waist, "tell him to piss the fuck off Bella, trust me, he would never touch you," I tried to keep my walls up on Emmett, but I just wanted to love him, I didn't count him as the same person he used to be, but at interval, I saw his old darkness, crack through, but maybe he had just had a bad experience with James...
I shook my head slightly, as Edward watched, wondering what Emmett was saying, and Emmett whispered again, "Bella trust me, he might look scary but his girl hitting years are long gone..."
He meant that as I joke, I assume. It didn't stop it from jogging my memory though.
Memory [7 years ago]
"Okay class!" the teacher called, making us quiet down almost instantly. "We are going to try a new method of working today, it's called, cooperative learning," she smiled widely, showing a set of perfectly white teeth, I almost idolized her, she was so perfect, so independent, so beautiful, so nice.
She went on to explain what the essence of cooperative learning actually is, telling us about the first assignment is to get us into partners, random ones so we can socialize with others and not just our friends. We had to talk about a task for 10 minutes then come back to our places and write all our joint ideas up on the board for everyone to copy down. She told us it would help with our social skills for our future, so we all seemed in agreement this would be a fun way to learn, however, I was slightly sceptical of the partner thing, if I was partnered with any of them; we all stood up and the teacher paired us up with people we didn't really talk to, Angela was paired with Tanya and I felt sorry for her until I got paired with the worst of the all, Edward Cullen.
I sat back down in my seat at the four seated desk, this meant that there was also another pair sitting down across from me, as long as it's somebody decent, things should be relatively okay, I mean what could he really do to me? But obviously, I should have thought about it from an evil perspective because he certainly found there was alot to do.
He sat down beside me, biting the top of his pencil, looking lost in concentration until he moved his seat towards and into me in one quick flash of a movement, gripping my ankle in a deadlock between the metal bars of his chair legs and the metal bars of mine, I let out a soft scream that went unnoticed to most except Edward, his eyes widened, conveying the message of "Don't you fucking dare make a sound," I took the hint, but I was in agony, I went to move my chair back from him but his large hand gripped my thigh under the table, digging his nails into me, causing me to stay as still as I could – the teacher at this point had written the task on the board – how ironic – "fairness".
Edward took no notice of the task we had been set, he whispered in my ear, "I will break your ankle if you do not do what I say – I can assure you that I have the strength to snap it in half, stay still, and do as I say," I nodded, frightened of his every tightening awkward grip on my foot, it was at such an angle that it seemed to be getting worse by the second, I had made an attempt to move it just seconds before which had resulted in my teeth biting down hard on my bottom lip to stop me from airing my pains."Now you must do as I say," he continued, "you have to kick Martin there underneath the table, hard," I glanced over to see the teacher, if she could possibly catch a glimpse of what was happening but she was engrossed in marking work and was trusting the class to look after themselves.
I began to refuse, "But I don't want-"
He cut me off mid sentence and pushed harder on the side of the chair which my ankle was interlocked with, I managed to hold in the voice, but just. "Now you know I will break it, you may as well get on with it,"
My ankle throbbed, and I realised there was only one thing for it, so I lifted my leg and swung, straight onto Martins kneecap, he yelped in shock and pain and I quickly apologized for doing it.
"What was that for," he moaned, rubbing his kneecap as the teacher looked up from her work to check out the commotion.
"I never meant it," I answered him, hoping he saw who I was sitting beside and would take pity. Edward now kicked me under the table, probably for my half apology. Martin looked from Edward then to me, then turned back to Amy, continuing with what he was supposed to be doing.
Edward leaned into me, so close that I could smell him, his scent was annoyingly beautiful, his exterior had always been perfection however to me it was the complete opposite, it was demonist and hell itself seemed to build around him. I never wanted to hate him but it was so hard not to; I had gotten past the stage where I felt sorry for him because he was a bully and would probably go nowhere in life unless he changed his ways – as all the stories told you – because I realised that he was top of the class – just as I was, or could be if I didn't have to keep lowering y grades so he wouldn't hurt me for being top. He was smart and beautiful and evil. The worst combination. "Do it again Isabella, harder," I shook my head slightly and he moved his chair against my ankle, my hands clutched together, trying to endure the severe pain. He lightened its grip on me, "Are you gonna do it now," I nodded and kicked Martin again, this time he never made a noise but jumped, biting his lip, anger contorting his face.
"Isabella Swan, I am going to get you for this," I nodded, shaking and Edward let go of my foot.
"Well done Fatty, you just got yourself a fight, ready?" he turned away laughing; as I was left horrified.
Lunch time was lived in fear, I ate my lunch and was swithering whether to run to the library and spend lunch in their or find Angela then go apologize to Martin in secret, maybe I would have to fight him but the decision was taken from me when Tanya and Rosalie walked by, pulling one of my pig tails each and dragging me out of the lunch room before anyone had even noticed I had left.
I was dragged into the furthest corner in the playground, out of sight of the staff, I shook as Martin approached me, Edward by his side; I knew then I had no hope of coming easy from this unscathed, I cursed myself for being so repulsive, couldn't I just have been born like Rosalie or even Tanya – couldn't I just be normal, I've stopped wanting to be unique and I want to fit in. I just want to be accepted, not even loved, accepted.
Edward was the first to make a move, he pushed me against the wall, I stayed silent no point vocalising my pain, no one would do anything about it anyway. I was surprised t her Martins concerned voice calling Edward, "I've changed my mind Edward; I don't want to hit a girl," he back away from me, from the whole crowd and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Martin come back here," Edward called but Martin just kept walking away.
"I don't want to Edward," he placed his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose, a very adult like thing to do; he made me feel even smaller.
"Let me go," I murmured as I tried to walk by him and he stuck his hand out, blocking me.
"Get back their Isabella, I'm going to do this on behalf a friend," he took a deep breath and drew back his fist, I screamed as he directed it at my stomach, tears squeezing out of my eyes, as I dropped to the floor. "Don't be so dramatic," he laughed, "you're only winded,"
He kicked me in the ribs and I fell flat on my face, squishing my nose on the hard concrete, the concrete hitting me so hard I felt dizzy. That stopped his laughing, I felt the warm liquid seep from my nose as I lay there, as if I was watching myself from a bubble above me, I felt numb. I heard them run away, Edward instructing me to tell whoever found me it was an accident.
I allowed a howl to fall from my lips. Breaking; in more ways than one.
[END MEMORY]
I surprised myself by doing the complete opposite of what I wanted to do, which was to run away as fast as my heels could carry me, "Fuck off scum bag," God that felt good, the adrenaline pumped through me as his eyes narrowed in what looked like mild annoyance. I was waiting for the over roar of anger but it wasn't there. Maybe I had been mistaken, maybe there was something there that I couldn't see – Edward Cullen wouldn't really let himself be embarrassed in front of all of his friends like that. Apparently so. Jasper smirked slightly and Emmett folded his arms, letting out slight laughs. I grinned, fluttered my eyelashes and linked arms with Alice, "I think your brother just might hate me Alice," I murmured, but he heard me.
"I don't hate you," he butted in; I looked at him with a raise of the eyebrows, and discarded his last statement, continuing my conversation with Alice as if he had not even spoken.
"I know he's your brother and all but does he really think every girl just wants to bow down at his feet, because I won't be for one thing," I thought of the irony and would have laughed if it was not for the fact that it was such a painful irony.
She looked between Edward and I, shaking her head, then spoke, "You know him so well already,"
Edward gave her a 'shut up' look and walked over to the cheerleaders table, sitting down beside Jessica, giving her a lopsided grin and no doubt turning most of the girls present minds into mush as he would probably have done mine if I did not know him to well.
"There he goes again," Alice sighed, I looked at her apologetically.
"Sorry Alice, he just kind of, drives me insane,"
Jasper spoke up then, "Sometimes, his cocky attitude wins over, but Edward really is a nice guy now – he had some issues with himself in the past, but there gone now – sometimes he just accidentally falls into old personality traits.
The rest of lunch went by just talking, by the end of lunch they had already told me almost everything about the party they were throwing – well Alice had anyway – the other had just sat there really as she expressed the excitement she was having at creating this sort of thing. Although, it was a sort of awkward moment when she casually let me know that it ruined it a little for her because the people coming were mostly the others friends, and not hers, Jasper and Emmett seemed a little uncomfortable too, Jasper putting his arm around her and kissing the top of her head.
I got to biology sadly, putting on the stainless steel covering across my heart, hoping to protect it from Edward himself.
He was already inside and as I sat down beside him a got a whiff of the distinctive tobacco smell, "Yuck," I made a balking noise as I sat down and he stared straight ahead not even blinking an eyelid. "Smoking kills," I mumbled as I got out my textbooks and jotters.
Mr Molina entered the class room and I opened my jotter, writing the date and focusing completely on the teacher. My heart thumped and the silk cloth of my fashionable thin polo neck felt like it was sticking to my back, petrified, I touched my back, it was still dry. I rolled up the sleeves slightly, trying to ignore what the pig out of the corner of my eye was doing.
The cream material of the stop would mean it would be instantly visible if I did begin to sweat, I couldn't get it out of my head so I folded up a ripped out sheet of paper of my jotter and fanned myself with it. I heard a low grunt and turned with a scowl, "What?"
"I'm cold," he stated; if he meant hearted, well, obviously. But I guessed that he didn't mean that.
"Well I'm too hot, so tough," I hissed back, turning back to the teacher. But I was forced to turn back around after just a few seconds as Edward had grabbed onto my folded sheet of paper, stopping the breeze which was cooling me down. "What the fuck?!"I spoke exasperatedly, just above a whisper and Mr Molina stopped midsentence to give me a glare, the rest of the class turned to see what the commotion was and the teacher continued. I felt the blush creep unstoppably up my neck and into my cheeks.
He snickered, I knew it was about my blush and I ignored him. My thoughts were interrupted by Mr Molina's dreadful words, "Okay class, I have a treat for you today," that's what he thought, "If you pull off the cover over the equipment table over there you'll find a frog to dissect – it's one to a pair – now I don't want any of you moving around the class like second graders trying to find a partner who is your good friend, just stick with the person you sit next to, I want you to draw a diagram after you have done it so it would maybe be best to write down some notes..."
I panicked, knowing I would not be able to dissect a frog and not feel at least dizzy, worst of all, he would be there, and what if he remembered from that, what if it sparked something.
He stood up beside me, a smile on his face, at least it wasn't a smirk, I stood up, I felt as though I was wobbling on the spot but managed to follow him over to the tray, if anything a little shakily.
He turned to me with a straight face, "go get the dissection kit out from the cupboard over there," he seemed in different to our prior argument and I done as I was told, he was only trying to get us ready for this quicker and it at least meant I didn't have to see the dead frog for the next minute. I considered pretending to be ill, but the teacher isn't exactly stupid, he'd know what I was doing.
I could feel myself becoming clammy again, I put a hand to my forehead, and my heart was pounding so fast it felt as though my body was jumping with every thump. I drew in a ragged breath then continued towards the cupboard, I needed to calm down. I squeezed my hands together as if I was praying, pushing against each hand breathing in deeply then breathing out slowly."I can do this, I can do this, I can do this," I chanted to myself repeatedly, then grabbed a dissection kit, the black leathered thin strip material tied item scared me almost as much as the actual frog, the amount of times it must have cut up these amphibians, dry blood crusted around their...
I stopped myself thinking about it as I walked back up to Edward who was at our table, now waiting for me. "Finally," he murmured, I scowled, but said nothing, I was afraid if I spoke my voice would crack.
"You can go first," I said, handing him the kit, but he never took it.
"Lady's first," he spoke so in such a nonchalant fashion that I wanted to slap him more than usual, he never realised how hard it was for me and he just wanted me to do it.
"Fine," I said, nudging him out of the way, focusing on something completely random – a teddy bear I used to have, I kept it's picture in my head as I took out the small knife, he turned the frog onto it's back for me and I felt my stomach churn, I got the knife right to the stomach before a small voice came from me, "I can't do this by myself," I heard him mumble something behind me then realised what I had just said. Couldn't I have just left it at – I can't do this!? Obviously not, now I just gave him an invitation to help me.
I really couldn't have hated myself more at that moment. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"One second you hate me and the next second you want my help – figures, huh?"He grumbled and I made an attempt to tell him I was fine but my voice stuck in my throat. Shit.
I felt him move nearer to me, I could feel his hot breath, it smelt like peppermint and cigarettes; a surprisingly attractive mix. I decided to forget that the person is actually Edward Cullen and I'm Isabella Dwyer. Right now I'm Bella Swan, and he's just a guy, a guy I've never ever met before.
He stood behind me now, touching the back of me, holding the surgical knife just as I was, his hand slid over mine, tingles slid down my spine and I told myself that it was just my repulsion to this man that caused this. Nothing else.
His voice took a 180, trust me. He wasn't sullen anymore, he seemed happy to help, comforting, and I made sure to stick to my lying to myself. This is just a random hot guy. No, just a random guy. "Now just apply a little pressure," he soothed, and I did, I felt it tear through the skin and I turned my head away, trying to walk away, but I walked straight into the wall he had become, towering over me, behind me. My nose banged against his chest and his hand was still clapped around mine so I turned cautiously back.
"I don't think I can do this," I whined slightly, I was so caught up in the situation I forgot to even feel embarrassed, I looked at the dead frog, it's tiny organs beginning to spill out from the centre; I swallowed as he shushed me, pushing down again, this time sometime something popped, I actually heard something go pop, I pulled my hand from his and turned to him, but he had placed both of his hands on the table in front of us, meaning I was locked in, "let me go," I whispered, I didn't know why I was whispering, but I was, I guess I couldn't help it.
"Bella, calm down, it's only a frog," I lifted my hands to hit his chest, to move him, but he grabbed my wrists, turning me to him, I was so angry I began to shake. He took it the wrong, he thought it was my weakness which was making me shake but it wasn't; without knowing it was happening, I was letting tears seep out of my eyes, the whole class must have watched but I was completely oblivious to what was happening around me, all I could remember was this boy hitting me, beating me until I wanted to die. I hated him, and I couldn't understand why he could do this to me, make me tongue tied, unable to hit him or even shout at him. I was just so angry, my rage was hurting me it was so intense and as I realised there were tears he must have to, he leaned in towards me, still my wrists in a semi-tight grip, he then stepped towards me, so almost every single part of the front of our bodies were touching, it was a form of a hug I guess – an armless hug – a painful hug; I wanted to force him away but it was an impossibility, his perfection was of someone else, not the Edward Cullen that had on more than one occasion hurt me to an extent that I thought he was going to kill me himself. This couldn't be the same boy, why was life so cruel? Never once had I been cut a break, not when I was younger not now.
I wish he would just leave me, it seemed like we had been hugging for hours but in reality it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. Those seconds had killed my heart though, the heart for years that had been trying to heal had now been broken again so much so that it seemed it would never heal again, so much for a steel covering that had been blown to pieces to. All that was left was shards. Deathly shards.
Then he let go of my wrists, they were free but I didn't know what to do with them- we were free from each other but we didn't know where to move, I staggered backwards slightly, into the table, I felt the cold breeze hit my stomach, where his had been.
My wits were coming back about me and I was realising what I had just really done and who I had done it to, I bit my lip, not knowing what to say or do; then I turned back around to him, not really caring how stupid it would sound or look after the past minute and I flipped him the bird, "Fuck off, dickhead," I angrily wiped the tears from my face and started cutting into the frog, pulling out everything from inside it, ruining it.
Right at that moment, I felt like the frog.
I didn't even mind that its blood was squirting everywhere, I didn't care.
The dickhead was ruining my life again. But this time I would stop him. I needed revenge and I needed it soon.
*A.N. Remember to review and alert, if I get 25 review this week, I promise I will have the next chapter out before Christmas [that's only 13 days away!]* xx