Hello, guys. I mostly write Star War fanfictions, but I decided it's about time to give Twilight a shot. I've wanted to write something Twilight for a long time, and this is finally my chance!! (Also, please excuse my poor writing- I'm sorry, Stephanie)
In this story, Bella never met Jacob, never got the motorcycles, and after a month, she's slipped back into her zombie phase. Charlie forces her to go to La Push
and she does, but he doesnt have the same healing effect on her.
--
The pain was back. Desperate, I crawled into my bathroom and snatched one of my razors. My only release. The only option. I robotically rolled up my sleeves and made several cuts. The pain subdued. I sighed in relief. Forget my promise to him. I scoffed. "I won't do anything stupid" living though this much pain was stupid!
I pulled down my sleeve, not bothering to stop the bleeding. I wore black anyways. It wouldn't show.
I gazed out this window, blankly. The cutting stopped the pain, increased the numbness. My phone rang, but I didn't notice, I didn't care. To the world and everyone else, I might as well be dead. I almost wish I was dead. He's gone, never to return, and he was my life. He didn't care, so why would I? Why should I?
He did this to me, he did it and here are the consequences. Weather or not he cares or around to see them.
I let myself get lost in the dark abyss of numbness.
--
The next morning wasn't any better. I was still numb, but all the thinking about him I'd done yesterday left its mark. I rushed into the bathroom as the pain slowly corrupt me, grabbing my razors and making more cuts on my arm. For a second, I dimly realized just how many cuts there were, but then the blood surged up and obscured them. I sighed, feeling the pain receed.
Then, something new happened. I came to a realization. If I cut deep enough, wore enough black, I could bleed out before anyone noticed. I twiddled my razor, thinking... but then I brushed the thought aside.
No, I couldn't do that. Not to Charlie. Not to Renee.
I slowly got up, and grabbed my clothes. A black tee with jeans, and a black jacket. I left for school, mind still stuck on how easily I could commit suicide... especially without his family to stop me.
--
"That's it. You need to go out. You're going with me to La Push." I slowly looked up from the dinner I had not been eating. I didn't eat much anymore. I no longer had a appetite.
"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice dull. Monotone. Robotic. Emotionless.
"You're going to La Push with me today. Me and Billy are going to watch a game. You can hang out with Jacob."
I looked blankly at my plate. "Okay."
Charlie looked at me, "Bella, you're not okay. You need help."
"Okay."
Charlie sighed, "you're not even really here most days."
--
I was silent the entire drive to La Push. When we got there, Billy and... was that Jacob? Waited for us. Jacob had grown a lot since I last saw him. Suprise was quickly drowned by my wonderful numbness.
Jacob approached me, eyes widened in suprise.before he could say anything, Billy turned to him, "You should take Bella to the edge of the Cliffside, the sun is setting and it'll be quite a sight." Jacob nodded and lead me away. Once we got settled on a bench by the cliff face, Jacob turned to me.
"Bella..."
Just then there was a flash of red flame in the forest. "I'll be right back," Jacob hurriedly said, and he disappeared from sight.
--
It would be... so easy to jump. The rapids below would take me under faster than any... human could save me, and I didn't want to be here anymore. So I dove in without another thought.