Chapter Thirty-One:

A Memorable Experience

Bones broke, muscles were contracting, and it felt like I'd been set on fire and doused in poison. My screams were resonating throughout the entire barrow. I was holding myself, fighting an invisible, internal enemy, but I wasn't likely to win. I could feel my teeth changing, and that wasn't exactly my favourite part.

Air was hard to breathe, and even closing my eyes required effort. To be honest, it felt like my entire body had weakened, betraying me in my fight, similar to when I'd been retching up blood.

Hiemdall was crouched beside me in a heartbeat and vigorously rubbing my back. He was saying something, but either I didn't understand it or his words were drowned by my screams. I wished that I had killed myself back when that Werewolf Vargr, Stom, had come.

I don't know how much time passed. A minute? An hour? Probably around then. I had fought it for a long time, but I wasn't feeling full of pride for such a feat. Closing my eyes before had screwed me over, but my eyes were shut tight now, as if trying to keep the pain away, albiet unsuccessfully. More than once I'd felt myself slipping away, only to frantically grab at that small essence that was "me", but I began to have trouble differentiating myself.

My throat was raw from screaming. It became a tedious task to do so. Hiemdall, more than once, had to hold me down to stop me from running. I caught myself, a few times, with my "wants" changed. From hoping that I hadn't injured Hiemdall, to wanting to sink my teeth around his neck for daring to hold me back. If I could, honestly, I probably would've laughed at how bipolar I was being.

"Taryn, can you still hear me?" Hiemdall asked.

I nodded slowly, using a lot of effort.

"Good job. You're doing great." I heard Hiemdall shift his position. "It's been five hours. I'm really impressed, actually."

"She's still got her mind yet?" Aldren inquired.

"Yeah... for now, I suppose."

"As long as she's done screaming. I think I'll need to find some replacement eardrums."

"Cha'qim thinks that such screams were probably inherited by banshees..." I flipped Cha'qim the bird, but she laughed at me. "Good to see the mind is still intact, yes?"

I groaned in pain as another rib cracked. I was pretty sure no other sound could come out of my throat.

"H-How bad...?" I asked, cancelling and erasing, and burying my last thought.

"Um... Not bad," he replied with uncertainty.

"Liar," Cha'qim chipped-in. "Cha'qim thought her brother M'aiq was to be the liar, not Hiemdall."

"Can it, Cha'qim!"

"How much... l-longer...?"

I heard Hiemdall sigh. "A few more hours, yet."

"I can't—!" I gasped, another stab of pain speeding through my body.

Hiemdall rested his hand on my back. "This is just my opinion, but perhaps giving in wouldn't be too bad...?" I glared at him. "At least the pain'll stop, right?"

"Don't... wanna...!"

"Then answer me this: what happens if you beat it back, the sun comes up, and it doesn't stop? What happens then?"

Gods, I give up.

"Taryn, I know you hate this, but I'm right here with you. I swear by the Eight—Nine!" he corrected hastily. "Trust me, okay?"

I gave him a once-over increduously. That aching question of "What if?" kept bubbling to the surface of my mind. I groaned, agony coarsing through me, and then locked my eyes with Hiemdall's.

"You... swear...?"

He grinned and nodded. "I'll strip down right now if it helps."

Meh, he'd do it later, anyways. I squeezed my eyes tight and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I felt reluctant to trust Hiemdall, but he was the only one who knew what I was going through, or had any inkling of it. Not that I didn't trust him already! It was just...

"I want you to listen to me for a second while you still have your wits about you," Hiemdall said. "You won't be able to hurt any of us. I can hold my own in here anyway. The bandit over there is just an incentive. Nod if you understand."

I slowly moved my head up and down, feeling my cheek brush against the cold floor of the tomb. I would occasionally get a feeling of intense heat and, frankly, agony, but I didn't fight against it. At least it wasn't as bad as before.

Until I felt absolutely nothing.

And from that was pure bliss, because I didn't have a damn clue what was going on, and I didn't really care.

But then I was being shaken awake, and the bliss and the nothingness ended.

I had to peel my eyes open, even though I wanted them to stay shut. Someone barked into my ear and nudged me, encouraging me to shake the grogginess from my head. How much time had passed? It seemed like only seconds.

"... What...?" I mumbled incoherently.

"You'd better get on your feet quickly, girl!" Javin said. "We have company outside!"

"Outside...?"

"It has been two hours since Hiemdall convinced you to let yourself change," Cha'qim explained. "Sun has almost come up. Vargrs are at the door of the tomb. Cha'qim doesn't like the odds."

My vision was blurry and my head was spinning, but a few deep breaths and I felt better. I used the wall to get to my feet, and felt huge hands on me to help out. It took me a second to realize it was Hiemdall, and he was in his Beast Form.

"Vargrs?" I repeated.

"Like that Werewolf Stom a few days ago, only they're in a pack now," Aldren said. "Hurry up, Javin! You need to get the barrier down!"

"It took several hours to make this! It's going to take a while, unless you want something to go wrong and kill those two!" Javin snapped.

"We'll all be dead if you don't hurry!"

Hiemdall got in front of me and made me wrap my arms around him, and then made some quick gestures with his huge, furry hands to Javin. Honestly, I felt like I was hungover...

"You sure you could make it out?" Javin asked.

Hiemdall's head bobbed up and down.

"All right. Cha'qim, Aldren, they're after Taryn. Hiemdall's going to run outside as soon as I get this barrier down, but you both need to be ready in case it doesn't work, so prepare your weapons, and the door!"

How'd Javin get thatmuch out of Hiemdall's gestures...?

Hiemdall dropped on all fours and tensed his muscles, ready to run. Even when he was crouched, my feet weren't touching the floor. Aldren and Cha'qim were on either side of the door, about as tensed as Hiemdall. It seemed like I wasn't there, and that the scene was just playing in front of me.

"The barrier's down!" Javin exclaimed, leaping to the side. "Go!"

Cha'qim and Aldren flung the doors open. A mass of angry Werewolf heads and bodies tried to get through at once. Hiemdall barrelled into them all and broke out through the centre of the group, speeding up as he got to more open space. Werewolf Vargrs pursued us relentlessly, faster than Hiemdall since he had me on his back. One of them tried to clamp its teeth on my leg, but it missed. Barely.

Several more Vargrs appeared in front of us. Hiemdall slid in the snow to a stop and readied himself to run again, this time in a different direction, but the rest of the Vargrs caught up and circled us. There must have been at least fifteen...

The fur around Hiemdall's neck rose and he growled dangerously. My arms felt like they wieghed about as much as a mammoth, so I was relieved when Hiemdall made me release the death-grip I had on him and laid me down into the snow, even though it was freezing. And then I realized that the reason Hiemdall had let me go was to fight the Vargrs. I couldn't summon my magicka, I was weaponless, and could barely move. It wasn't looking good. To make matters worse, it was likely that we were already miles from Yngol's tomb.

Hiemdall roared at the Vargrs and stood his ground. I guessed that the Harbinger of the Companions couldn't exactly command respect from rogue Werewolves.

A Vargr kept testing Hiemdall by stepping closer, only to have Hiemdall snap at him savagely, but then a Vargr from behind him would start coming close. I was getting ready to Shout at the Vargrs when they all stopped suddenly, and then ran off. Just like that. We didn't interest them any longer, and they were searching for something else.

We heard running not long after. It wasn't a Vargr. They were wearing heavy armour and had a weapon slapping against their back as they ran. Hiemdall growled as they got closer.

I didn't even put in the effort to seeing who it was—I just laid in the snow and tried to trick myself into thinking I was warm.

"It's about time I found you guys."

The snow wasn't what made me freeze. It was the voice.

"M-Milos...?"

"Sorry I'm late." He came over to Hiemdall and I. "I killed a bear a little further back to draw those things away, but it won't distract them for long." Hiemdall let Milos scoop me up. "That, and I needed to find you guys again."

I felt like such a child there, with Milos holding me. Like glass, just waiting to be broken.

"On the bright side, you've got clothes again," Milos remarked. "Looks like you didn't break outta those. Does that stupid orb in the sky affect you even a little bit?"

I nodded slowly, exhaustion still gripping me.

"Hiemdall, I've got some clothes in my pack." Hiemdall barked something at Milos and pointed him in a direction. "That way? Got it. Just catch up with us, okay?"

I must have passed out. A few minutes later, Milos was jogging with me in his arms. Was it really minutes? I wasn't so sure, but I could hear more voices. Milos stopped for a minute to catch his breath and adjust me. I could already feel the suns rays start to warm me up.

"About time you caught up," Milos grumbled.

"Sorry. The pants threw me off." Hiemdall seemed to have communicated with Milos silently, because I was handed over to him. "The Vargrs turned back, too. They're still hunting us though."

"Why?" Milos asked, a question I would have asked myself sometime.

"Companions don't really interfere with Vargrs so long as they don't attack people," Hiemdall explained. "So, in a mostly male Werewolf society..."

Milos snorted. "Great. I think Taryn's gonna like that news. What about Aela?"

"She can kick their asses to Sovngarde and back, and they know it. Frankly, Taryn's a good target because she's resistant. If they manage to find her while she's turning, then they can immediately catch her."

The two were silent for a time before I could hear Cha'qim in the trees, yelling at us. Thankfully, she wasn't yelling anything that would make us have to run away from Vargrs again.

"Ah! We see Taryn and Hiemdall are all right!" she yelled. "And the Argonian has joined our party again! Cha'qim suddenly favours our odds."

"Let Javin and Aldren know that we've got to get moving to Karthspire," Hiemdall called to her. "The Vargrs are still after us."

"Cha'qim will let the rest know," she agreed. "Hurry!"

Their efforts redoubled as Cha'qim used the trees to manuoevere quickly so she wouldn't have to slog through the snow like us. It was a few minutes later that I finally felt well enough to walk on my own. My breath had returned, at least, and I didn't feel as dizzy as earlier.

"Put me down, Hiemdall," I said softly.

Hiemdall's eyes gave me a once-over. I frowned at him, and he let one of his eyebrows raise in reply, a smirk tugging at his lips. A challenge. This bastard...

"Hiemdall," I warned.

His smirk broadened into a smile. "A few more miles, at least. Okay?"

"I'd feel awkward."

Hiemdall mulled it over, his forehead creasing. "I guess..." he muttered. "But if you're not okay, I'm carrying you again."

"I can do it," I assured him.

Shrugging, Hiemdall allowed me to stand. I had to get my balance for a moment, but I was fine. It was strange though, since it felt like I needed to get used to being myself again. Thankfully, I didn't really remember anything about... that.

"I can do it," I repeated, this time to reassure myself.

Hiemdall picked up a fistfull of snow and started to rub it into my hands. My feet were already numb from the cold, and I wondered if he intended for me to get sick. But upon further inspection, I noticed that my hands were caked in dried blood. Hiemdall had been trying to get it off before I properly noticed, and hoped the cold would distract me.

"The bandit...?"

Hiemdall didn't say anything, but once my hands were cleaned of the blood, he grabbed them and began to lead me through the snow. I hung my head and sent a message to Akatosh that the bandit be all right, despite the way he'd died.

I took a deep breath. I wasn't the one who killed him. It wasn't my fault. And even if it were, he was a bandit. He'd killed people and plundered for loot for a living, probably raping women on the way for shits and giggles.

"You'll go insane if you keep thinking about it," Hiemdall murmured. "Better it be him than people you know and care about, right?"

I nodded and licked my dried lips, but tasted blood there too. I spat quickly and then scooped up some snow, shoving it into my mouth to get the taste out. Hiemdall shook his head, picked up more snow and pressed it against my mouth to wipe away the rest of the blood. I was thankful, but he was kind of suffocating me.

I pushed his hand away, spat out the snow, and we continued forward. Milos didn't even look back.