*A.N. – Only just got around to writing this chapter last night and this night, as I said with my update on C.I.L. I have had two broken elbows, exams and work to deal with within four months. Pretty hectic, but because I'm reading alot again I'm pretty confident i have found my feet back in the writing chair lol. I have missed you guys all so much aha :L missed the reviews and the PMs, all that sort of stuff, in Scotland I'm up at like quarter past three in the morning to get this chapter out for you guys lol – here's a little playlist to listen to while reading:
Teenage Dream – Katy Perry
No Surprises – Radiohead
Hold You in My Arms – Ray Lamontagne
Enjoy and Review! ;)*
Breakfast contained happiness, pleasure and just a tit bit of awkwardness. Overall, I would call it a success, I think the full time I managed to wrestle oncoming memories to the back of my mind and keep with the time at hand. I even managed to laugh fully at a joke made by dear Edward himself, and mean it; he was a funny guy it seemed.
After breakfast Alice made quite the thing of rummaging through her ridiculously sized designer rucksack, eventually retrieving a clipboard with a list pinned onto it. I soon found out that Alice was quite famous for her organisational skills, especially when constructing a family outing. Everyone cheered as she began to read out the list Alice had once again, Jasper took the liberty of informing me, sorted everything for the whole day, meaning that everyone was awfully grateful for the weight off their shoulders, even though to Alice it seemed like a gift to be able to sort it all out.
"We're a very organised group of people," Alice smiled at me as Emmett corrected her.
"No, you're just organised and we all walk in your shadow oh mighty one," Alice smacked him playfully with the clipboard as Jasper whistled, I found myself smiling despite the fact that I had been informed that we would probably be doing sports. Sports were not one of my strong points.
"Okay guys, time to calm down an listen up," some eyes rolled in their sockets but they all did exactly as she told them, she carried on, "the first thing we're doing is doubles... tennis!"
Emmett pumped his hand in the air "Undefeated!" he shouted while everyone, including myself, groaned.
"But Emmett always wins, he just picks Jasper or Edward in his team and that's him, it's so unfair," Rosalie whined.
"Well that's where it'll all be different this year, I've put the girls' name in a hat and the three boys will pick out a name, boy girl seems fairer than past years to me," Emmett sulked slightly but everyone else looked much happier with the fair decision, I decided to stay quiet about how horrendous I could be at sports until it came to the last minute.
The three boys dived forward to collect their girls name from a hat, Jasper snuck an arm around Alice as he read out his and Edward grinned as he clicked his fingers at Rosalie in a pretensive sexist way, I giggled despite myself when I saw Emmett face tired towards mine, silently begging for me to be at least okay at tennis.
"You're fucked," I whispered to Emmett, and saw the colour drain from his face 0- this boy took his sports seriously.
I threw myself into setting the "court" up, placing the net "just so" and drawing the lines in chalk where Alice pointed. Not just Emmett took sports seriously I found.
The boys and Alice began warming up, Rosalie sat at the side and I found myself wishing that she hadn't been such a cow to me, because I was warming to her nature, I was warming to all of their natures. I didn't deny my liking for her as strongly as I denied Edward's, but it was still there, that overwhelming urge to slap her, the feeling that the only justice from this situation would be to wreck her life in ways she had wrecked my, maybe even to find a pair of scissors and hack of her golden locks. But then, as always, my mind returned and I found that there was no need for such violence, because there had been reasons, they didn't undo what she did, or even make it okay, but they helped me to understand why. This was something that I could do with Rosalie. I could forget about the past, just sometimes because I realised that her life had been a living hell for her too. It never meant she should be allowed to make life a living hell for others, but it made me realised that she had suffered harshly under the will of fate. I had been ugly, she had had a brother that tore her heart apart with having cancer, neither was our fault, but they pained us for years on end.
So I found strength in my own wise thoughts and sat down beside her, "You okay?"
She smiled lazily at me, her eyes fogged with some sort of upset, "Just a bit sick still, I think I had a bug, and I guess I just feel a little bit fragile still, I'm worried I'll hurt myself," her voice was quiet but the sound of her voice was unmistakable, her voice was enviously beautiful, like the tinkling of bells, or the sound of the calming sound of a fountain – one which, once heard in its full glory, you could never believe it could utter a harsh word. She could hold the facade of being an angel easily, just as I was holding mine.
I wondered if she saw anything in my eyes and started to put up a guard again, then realised it was only going to ruin my day, so I dropped it. Anyways, it was time to play tennis.
I was handed a baby blue racket, it matched Emmett's, I looked around and found that Edward and Rosalie were red and Jasper and Alice were yellow - the primary colours. It was cute, I should have expected such coordination from Alice and I haven't known her long.
We lined up to face each other, Jasper and Alice on our opposing side. Just as we began, I whispered to Emmett that I was known as the worst tennis player in Phoenix, my coordination was ridiculous, and I would probably double fault around three times before I managed and acceptable serve. He swallowed but said nothing and I felt a little fear for my welfare, he was really into winning, and although he had been nice so far, would everything change when he was on the losing side? I felt as though I was picking at pieces of the past for no reason but it didn't stop it from happening, I tried harder than I ever had, and only double faulted twice throughout the whole game, even so, the game was the yellows from the beginning, I lacked the strength and the artistic flare of Alice which made her game so beautiful, and Jasper was just under Emmett's standard, had it been any decent girl player partnering Emmett and he would have won, but I was nowhere near decent. So we lost. I felt blood rush to my cheeks as we heard the score; they had beaten us six games to one. Emmett blushed too, I presumed he was angry and suddenly began making apologies, scared of the outcome of his anger, no matter how many people would protect me.
"I'm so sorry, I really don't usually play tennis and I never realised I was that bad but you have all had so much practice compared to me, I know I should have said before we started how truly bad I was but-"
He cut me off with a pained smile, he pulled me close and hugged me with all the strength of a bear, I half expected to hear so ribs crack, "it doesn't matter that we lost," I gave him a look which pointedly said I knew cared and he rephrased, "It's okay that we lost, I hate losing, but you don't need to make apologies like you expect me to turn around and hit you for not being good enough to beat them," he gave a bellowing laugh at the thought of it and I wondered if he would even know how close to the bone he had been in saying those words.
I joined in with his laughter and we took our seats as we watched the tight game between the yellows and the reds. I watched them all and was caught up in the game for once in my life, I couldn't believe how Edward Cullen worked the ball, it was if his racket was at one with him, he did not have the outright almost super human strength that Emmett used to beat most people, but he was very talented at the sport, with decisive weight training, he could be very good – I knew nothing really of the sport but I knew that what I saw was raw talent, he had always been like that with sports, almost any, I remembered him as a young boy, playing American football, grinning as he made the touchdown in the playfield which was allocated to our year group once a week. My mind tried to drag me down further into the past, but I refused it's call, all it was going to show me was some harsh images of what other things Edward called sport, and as I felt the bitterness swell in my throat, I begged for some time in the present, to enjoy things while I could. My wish was granted as Edward made an amazing swoop for the ball, lashing it over the net with skill and, making it land just beyond darting Jasper's reach.
The match was a close one and I suspected that if Rosalie had been up to her full strength they would have blew Alice and Jasper out of the water – however – she was not, and they lost 5-7.
The losers cheered as the winners took up their "trophy" – a box of luxury Belgian chocolates. It wasn't a bad prize, they'd certainly burned off the calories they carried, and the two of them were shining with sweat and Alice, a touch dramatically, declared her need to wash immediately.
Emmett had pulled Rosalie aside for a chat, understandably, as she had been looking as well as feeling under the weather. I followed Alice to the toilets to freshen up, she had picked up one of her many bags and before I had even went for my own she had informed me that everything I needed would be in her bag, and as I went to argue, she continued, with "trust me."
We freshened up in the toilets situated about a 12 minute walked eastwards of the tent, as I turned to leave she pulled me back into the toilets. "Why won't you give Edward a go?"
Ah, so she had noticed more than she had been letting on, "I don't go with players," I replied silkily.
"He wouldn't play about with you," she answered with complete confidence in her brother and I found myself for the first time since meeting her, actually annoyed at her.
I decided to trod nicely, she obviously loved her brother, even if he was a dick, "it's not fair to push me into a relationship with a guy, you dont know if I like him and it would only upst him if anyone when I come away from a first date having to tell him that I didnt like him like that."
I expected that to quiet her but she was not the type to mould to other people wills, "But thats the thing Bella, you do like him, I saw you staring at him during the match, out of the corner of my eye I could see you watching him," I shook my head, eyes closed so not to give anything away, I opened them to her smiling face, "you're at least attracted to him and I'm sure he is to you."
"You don't understand," I put my head down but she lifted it up with a petite hand.
"What don't I understand Bella?"
"I've been," I took a calming breath, "hurt, very very badly before and I'm not ready for him, he reminds me too much, of – of someone." It was the truth. No lying, just careful wording.
"But he's not him," Alice said softly, I wanted to shout at her, be enraged by her ignorance to the situation, but the ignorance was my fault.
"Just please, you don't know the things that have happened to me, maybe someday I'll be able to tell you, but for now, you need not know and I just need you to let this go."
She gave me a hard look for a few seconds as if she was about to continue illustrating her point but then her look softened and gave me a little hug. "Well, we better be getting back," she smiled at me and suddenly the subject was dropped. Our chatter was marred a little by the previous discussion, my answers slightly more stilted than usual but we carried on. By the time we go back we were looking at a clean field, no chalk, no net but only the tent left.
"Hide and seek!" Emmett shouted for everyone within a few miles to hear – Alice threw him a pissed off glance, it had been her job to tell everyone what they were doing. I smiled; I wish I had brothers, big brothers, ones who had protected me...
We all put our feet into a circle and I found myself staring at six designer pairs of footwear, my scruffy converse felt pretty out of the pack I thought, I looked up to see the green eyes of a certain Cullen on me; he quickly lowered them, I had caught him out. Had been seeing familiarities or had he just been intrigued by me and my scruffy footwear?
I was chosen as the seeker and while I counted to an argued 35 I thought of those eyes and wondered if they would ever stop haunting me. I wished in some ways that those eyes could mean something else, but it was impossible.
Thirty three, thirty four, thirty five.
I ran to the forest and began searching, I found jasper in a tree with a hole in it but covered in logs, I found Rosalie behind a huge tree only because she hadn't hear me coming and was busy making disgusted sounds at the amount of bugs crawling up the side of the tree in front of her. Alice was more difficult and by this time I had been searching for fifteen minutes, alone. The rule of their hid and seek was that once found the hider had to go back to camp and start making lunch. Alice was found in a giant log, and I really do mean giant, Alice had known better than to ruin her clothes and had brought in her pocket a large waterproof poncho thing which had gotten her through the whole ordeal virtually unrefueled.
Emmett was a lucky find, he had climbed up a tree and must have moved just enough for a little twig to snap off and land ceremoniously on my head just as I was passing by – I hadn't thought to look up before, the tree were pretty big and I didn't think any of the accompanying group were skilled enough to climb them.
I laughed as he cursed, "found you found you!" I shouted just to annoy him, he jumped down around an 8 ft drop and I gasped as he grinned at my reaction, "Am I last?" I shook my head and he cursed again.
"Who's left?" he asked but answered his own question, "Edward," I nodded, "it always is him, he knows this forest better than the lot of us, he used to go here buy himself when he first got his car, just walk about and then come home. Said it gave him time to think about things – certainly gave him time to find place to hide," he finished with a grunt and slunk back off to the tent.
It was then that I realised I was alone in a forest with Edward Cullen, the twinge of fear tried to pull me into its deadlock grips but I refused and carried on – I was doing quite well on the pretence today. I say pretence but the "pretence" had sort of stopped being pretence partly, I was me most of the time – they accepted me brilliantly and I felt okay most of the time letting down my walls.
Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. My mind was still amazed that even after repeating his name in my head several times it didn't wreck me. I was in a dizzy daze of shock and happiness when I turned through many close together trees and tripped over something, falling flat in my face – that something, it turned out, was a foot.
"Well that's my hiding spot gone, good really 'cause it was getting a bit tedious – that's nearly half an hour you took to find me," he looked at me with guarded eyes and I felt a swell of pride that I was now his equal – it was ridiculous that I appraised that I was now his equal, which I should always have been but I still could not help myself but relish these moments. The anger hinted at me to let it overcome but I did not. I stood strong yet laidback in the presence of a boy who had haunted me for a long, long time. The pride increased, I had jumped over a huge obstacle – the notion that I should hug Edward was absurd but I did it anyway, pretending he was Alice or Jasper, even though he felt like neither, smelt like neither too, maybe a little like Alice – but he was individual, quite unique. That's what made him so hard to forget. He was so hard to understand, so brooding, yet so light-hearted.
So odd yet so beautiful.
Those thoughts put my head straight, and so did his voice, "hey, hey, whats up?" he looked genuinely concerned as he wondered at the tear which was falling down my cheek, I would have thought he would have laughed but then again, he was at least pretending to have changed alot, "Did you hurt yourself when you fell?" I nodded, finding a way out of the embarrassment, of course that was the excuse to make, to tell him I hurt myself when I fell.
"Where does it hurt?" he continued.
I finally found my voice and pointed to my hip – it actually was throbbing there, I just hadn't acknowledged the pain before – I found that once I did that, it usually got worse.
"I've know a hell of a lot of first aid," he informed me with a smirk, "I want to be a doctor, my dad's one," he continued.
"Oh, it'll probably just come out in a little bruise." He put both hands on my waist, paused for a moment, watching me, and then instructed me back a step with his hands; he ran the long fingers across my hip. I felt a tingle in the pit of my stomach and longed for him to leave me be.
"I'm fine," I whispered, turned from him and began walking brusquely towards the tent. There was lunch to be getting to.
Lunch was tolerable, the food was great – around six different types of sandwich, from the humble ham and cheese to the overloaded BLTs, they were good – sitting beside Edward was odd, I could hear him breathing when someone paused in the middle of telling a story. I could see him swallow huge hunks of food out of the corner of my eye. I could feel the warmth radiator from his body.
The joyous mood was so tangible I found it hard not to get carried away with myself, every now and again I was brought back to reality with a sharp blow – someone would give me a certain look and suddenly it was ten years ago. Rosalie snapped at Jasper once – after all, they are brother and sister, they're allowed to argue, but my mind didn't see it like that; it heard the foreboding tones of her voice and quaked in fear.
Emmett decided to cheer Rosalie up, I think everyone else knew this was not the best idea he'd ever had, then again, everyone let him dig himself a grave, "So babe, I know a good joke," she rolled her eyes but he carried on, "Why was the blonde upset when she got her driving license?"
"Emmett," she snarled as a warning, even Alice tried to tell him she wasn't in the mood, shaking her head vigorously behind him, but he was intent on continuing.
"Because she got an F in sex," her eyes popped, and for a few seconds I thought she was going to lash out, but she only sighed and turned away from him to talk to Alice.
It could at least be credited to Emmett that he then had some tact and came over to talk to Jasper instead of moaning about her abrupt departure of attention. I began to stand up to go join in the girl's conversation but Edward intercepted me by throwing out a forearm in front of me. I felt imprisoned ever s slightly but I kept it to myself and with an exasperated smile I re-seated myself.
"So," he smiled a heart wrenching smile, it tried to warm my insides as I knew it must others but with me it failed, I wondered just how superficial that smile now was – I wondered if he was now a true predator of woman – he could be if he wanted, he certainly had the looks and charm for it. I had assumed that he was but now I was having second thoughts, maybe he wasn't as bad as I had thought, just because he had been a dick when he was younger didn't mean he would be a dick to ladies, to nice looking people. I was pretty sure he had only saved up his repulsive behaviour for people below the average looks wise. The anger turned to an iron fist in my stomach and I sought out to be more careful in my following words.
"So," I laughed enchantingly, or at least what I hoped was enchantingly.
"Why did you move to Forks?" I wondered if it would be smart to enlighten him to who my father was and reasoned that he would find out soon anyway – and with my mom and Charlie's fiery separation it's not like I had been around him much when I had lived in Forks anyway.
"My dad's chief of police here, you might know him? Charlie Swan." His eyes glowed with the information.
"Yeah I know him, warned me a couple of times about the speed I like to push my baby at," he was referring to the car of course, but it sounded more like a sexual reference in all honesty and I felt an immature giggle fill my mind. I smiled lightly and he caught onto what he had said, "I didn't word that right did I?" his cheeks tinged red and before we knew it we were laughing at each other's immaturity.
Once he had finished laughing his eyes settled onto my face and he lifted his finger to my head; with extreme softness he touched just above my right eyebrow, a shiver raced down my spine and the skin under his finger tingled. He touched it again, almost a stroking gesture. "That's an odd little collection of scars he murmured, how did you manage that?" I almost choked on the air filling my lungs, those scars were tiny little fierce things that had refused to lose their ground as I aged, I had expected them to disappear into nothingness long ago but they had stayed, small and almost unnoticeable, but they were there. Just another way that Edward Cullen had marked me forever.
Six Years Ago.
My mom's birthday was in one week and I was absolutely stubborn on the point that I should be allowed to go to the mall by myself to get her present. My mom had been pretty stubborn to but eventually we made a compromise.
"Here's the deal Isabella, I'll drop you and Angela of at Seattle Shopping mall and I'll visit Cynthia from my yoga class, she's broken her wrist and she only lives fifteen minutes away from the mall I'll give you an hour and a half and that's all, I'll trust you not to leave the mall until the hour and a half is finished then go out to the parking lot and I'll pick you up from there – I'm trusting you on this." I had bounced with gladness and went to call Angela immediately to let her know the details of my plans.
In the next two days I told everyone who I could count not to hit me in school of the exciting adventure I would be embarking on at the weekend, only once did II see Edward's gaze land on me as if speculating on how to insult me about my good fortune. I waited for a snarling comment but received none so I when I was being driven to the mall I was blind to the dangers that lay ahead, like a lamb being led to slaughter.
I pounced from the car to the pavement once giving my mom a cheery hug and kiss on the cheek
He warm air filled my lungs and I was glad I had worn my denim shorts and little vest top – I had been afraid of going out in public because of my... figure, but I had overruled it when I thought of how unlikely it would be to see anyone that I'd know at the mall. Angela pounded after me as we ran to the mall, my mom still shouting warnings at us of the dangers of coming out of the mall before she was there. I ignored her words and carried on into the mall.
If I had been a dog I would have drooled, so many shops, and I had been saving up my $5 a week, so now I had a whopping thirty with me, fifteen for my mom's present and fifteen for me, I had made sure to eat before I came out and even had a bottle of water packed in my little lilac shoulder bag so I could spend the full money on something, no need to buy refreshments.
Together we made our way into lots of shops, sifting through dream catchers, exercise DVDs and little pottery pieces – I knew my mom would adore each one of them but I wanted something special and so I found it in the form of a little porcelain bird, I had never seen anything of the kind, it could fit in the palm of my hand and it looked so fragile and beautiful. It was a swallow; blue and orange and yellow. It's mouth was open as if tweeting to its mate, it was just the thing my mom would hold dear and was exactly the price I had in my for her present and I bought it straight away – Angela couldn't really understand why I would buy that, she said her mom would have preferred a vase or some sort of cooking book but I knew that the intricacy of this little bird would have my mom in awe. They wrapped it in countless sheers of bubble wrap before boxing it and I was glad of it due to my clumsy nature. When we left the shop we had only half an hour left and we were both in agreement that the rest of the time should be spent in the massive Disney store.
We wondered through the rainbows of colours, gleaming at the princess outfits and extending arms to touch the fabric of the softest cuddly toys. It was only when my arms set on that of a certain beautiful flounder that my money was spent. I fell in love with it from first sight, I had always adored flounder in the little mermaid and couldn't help myself but marvel at the brightness of the blues and yellows of the stuffed toy. I wanted the bigger one but it was $24.75 so I settled for the medium one at $14.75.
I bought it and Angela bought some edible lip-gloss. We kept wondering around the shop, even though we had bought our fill, it was a decision I came to regret for all too soon we were in a corner of the shop and cut off by Tanya Denali and Edward Cullen, holding hands and narrowing their eyes at me.
I shivered, I hadn't noticed just how hard my heart could pound until then, I thought it my burst out of my ribcage and smack him in the face – my fear was so absolute, so terrifying, sweat instantly began to break from my pours, I wonder if he could see my skin moisten with seconds. He snickered at the paralysing fear he had bestowed upon me and made a motion for me to take his hand.
Tanya gave him a mystified look as did I and he laughed out loud at that, "Tanya you don't really think I would leave you for her," he smiled wider, "I just want to have a little chat with her... outside."
I shook my head vehemently but he stepped forward quickly and grasped my sweaty palm into his with a disgusted face. He pushed his fingers and thumb together around mind with mind-blowing strength. Well at least it seemed like that to an eleven year old. I let out a squeak of pain and he repeated his request, "outside." I knew this time to follow instructions and I nodded. I looked back to Angela, sometimes I wondered if she had any backbone whatsoever, then I remembered it would make no difference but get her into trouble; her face was awash with guilt but it would do no good feeling bad when I was the one he would be shouting abuse at.
When Edward had said outside I had believed he was speaking of outside the shop, but he was meaning outside the mall, I tried to stop him from forcing me out of the mall doors by telling him how much trouble I would get if my mom found out but he just laughed and told me to move unless I wanted a broken finger. I did as he said then.
He took me round to the back of the mall, a part of the car park had been fenced off, they were about to begin work to upgrade it to the standard of the car park at the front. It was deserted. Edward pulled me wriggling and protesting throw a large gap in fence, "pretty lucky that gaps that big, even so, I'm still quite surprised you fitted through it."
His cruel laughter pierced me but not quite enough yet to reduce me to tears. I stood up straight as he faced me, it was only him. Visions of me defending myself tried to put my mind at ease, would he really do it by himself, usually the rest of his cronies were at least nearby to aid him?
He threw insult after insult at me, and kept me at a standstill by warning me life would be worse for me at school if I ran away, "I can't believe you wore those things in public," he wretched, pointing to my clothes, "every time you move your legs wobble – you do know that, right?"
"I wonder if you rubbed your teeth up against this fence if it would light fire. The amount of metal on those things and I would bet it would,"
"When you went into the opticians, did you actually go straight to a pair saying – ugliest pair of glasses, or did you just manage to find them yourself?"
I whimpered and finally tears could not hold back any longer, I tried to turn away but he was starting to push me, pulling the Disney bag from my clutches, I tried to keep a hold of it but he moved his hands to mine and dug sharp nails into them, I screamed in surprise and pain as he informed me that he was going to give it to Tanya. My money had been wasted and now the tears were streaming down my face, I turned again but this time he gave me a whole hearted shove as I tried to run; I tripped over my own loose shoelace. I fell onto my knee then onto the side of my face shrieking in agony, something had cut into my head.
I heard one last haunting laugh then Edward was gone. By the time I had lifted my head of the ground blood had begun to drip in warm steady motion from tiny but deep little cuts above my eyebrow. I baulked as I saw a few little fragments of glass shine in the sun on the ground in front of me, a few of them were in my head.
At least my mom's present hadn't been harmed, I put a hand to feel the little box in my other bag and found with relief it was still there and closed. One small consolation.
End Memory
That fist of anger and bitterness which filled my chest was there again but I managed to compose myself, I was getting good at this pretending, "I fell into some glass when I was younger," I silently thanked god that I had stayed of school for a couple of weeks after that encounter with Edward, feigning illness had been one of my talents back then. When I returned to school I had covered it with some concealer I had thieved from my mother until the red blotches which were to turn into these scars had died down.
"That sounds soar," he sympathised and I never managed to hold back a retort.
"It was."
"Well I think they're kind of cute," he added after a few moments awkward silence, my eyes widened in outrage and he continued nevertheless, "I don't really know how to put this. You suit them, everything about you is different and mysterious and... Beautiful," he almost muttered the last word. I had just begun to digest the words when Alice officially ended lunch time.
My mind would have stayed on the subject of Edward's words had Alice not had something so exciting lined up. "Well guys," she addressed us in a slightly formal manner and I held back a grin. I couldn't believe how quick she was to change my mood, "I bought something new this year for us all, you'll never guess what it is," she paused and then couldn't hold the news in any longer, "so I'm just going to tell you – SUMO FAT SUITS!"
There were two fat suits, one with a white belt as the "thong" part and one with a black. The boys began playing each other for a winner. Jasper took on Emmett and lost badly; the rule was that you had to get them out of the circle Alice had chalked three times. It wasn't a huge circle but big enough for the game to last a good few minutes each time.
Emmett took on Edward. Now that game was interesting, I couldn't quite decide who to bestow my favour on. The strong smell of new plastic filled my nostrils as the crackled around the ring, the noise of plastic against plastic high pitched and screeching then low and rumbling. They lasted much longer than Jasper and Emmett, much better matched. It wasn't that Jasper was a weakling or anything; it was just that due to his uneven and ill childhood he had only gained his sporting skills over the last few years really rather than his whole life like Edward and Emmett. Edward was skilled in equally in defence and attack and Emmett was more drawn to the latter – Edward knew when to pull back and Emmett didn't, that's really all that won Edward it. On strength alone Emmett would have blown him out of the water.
As I lined up to don my fat suit I wondered if any of them were reminded of Isabella when wearing such a thing as this, what if they thought about me from time to time? What if they sometimes had discussions about me – referring to me as a whale or as one of my old nicknames? These thoughts gave me the anger to win over Rosalie who seemed to be ready to basically yield to me, I hardly needed to fight her at all and she was over the line.
Alice was definitely not that easy; she was feisty and had probably had a good practice before this – I waddled around the ring, pushing and shoving laughing at the times we both stumbled and rolled across the ground but also reminding myself that winning this would mean facing the one person I would love to face – give me an excuse to pound my fists into him. Yet again, I won.
We took a small rest so I could recuperate and it would be a fair fight, he winked at me and asked me if I was excited as the girls patted me on the back. "Definitely," I replied truthfully, I can't wait to beat you about that ring!" I flounced of to grab a drink of water in the best way I could still in my sumo suit and head gear. The feeling within me was overwhelming, I just wanted it all to start now, I wanted to do him harm yet not to stoop to what had been his violent atrocious level.
Finally we were in the ring, my breathing tube had narrowed or at least that's how it felt, my breath was coming in short harsh puffs and I raised my fist in a boxing manner as Alice blowed a whistle and we approached each other. He grinned and his eyes twinkled, he got a shock as my fist pounded pretty hard if I do so myself into the padding over his ribcage. "What the..?" he uttered before he was forced backwards by another straight 4 blows to the same region. His heel had reached the line and I pulled back my small white fist to give him another blow but by now he had recovered his wits and grabbed my hand just before it hit my stomach, sticking a leg behind mine and tripping me up. My fall was cushioned by the padding of the suit and my fist opened into his hand and pulled him down too, directly on top of me.
He let out a bellowing line which would once have sent a chill down my spine but now it was different; it was warmer, deeper, richer. It sent an involuntary shiver down my spine and made my lips curve upwards of their own accord, and even though I had a feeling in the pit of my bitter twisted stomach causing me to go on with somewhat meaningful punches and pushes. I was happy. It was confusing and utterly perplexed me but it was happening. There was just something about this boy – this man. He just wasn't what he was and he puzzled me, I didn't know how to react to him anymore.
We rolled one over the other, one on top, one at bottom – his grin creating mine. Those perfect teeth would once have been bared in a snarl were now a gesture of pure goodwill. I still pushed and shoved and gained two points while he was still at one but I got the sense that he wasn't really concentrating on the game and it scared me more than I had been of him going to hurt me now. As I scored the winning point with tripping him over the line I looked to his face underneath me and even though he knew he had lost his smile had not flickered and he was looking at me. Looking at me and trusting that I was slowly coming around to him. I wanted to whole heartedly be able to say that I was just as opposed to him as I was when I set out on this trip but it would be a lie – God, I was still opposed to him but not with the same fury that had possessed me.
As went for a walk around the park, Emmett and Rosalie staying behind to watch the tent, we chatted and laughed all four of us – but someone only had eyes for me, I felt it, and it flattered me below alot of hatred, truly flattered me that a face befitting of a God could be like that with me.
Dinner went by in a blur of bliss and fun and comfort – there were other more depressing emotions held in my heart at that moment to but I chose to ignore them, just for a night, what could be the harm? The all engulfing hatred would return in the morning anyway, probably.
*A.N. – Hope you enjoyed it, I apologise for any mistakes, but I'm pretty tired and I don't think Id get the chapter out tonight if I had to check over it again lol, please please please REVIEW they mean so much, and guys I mean, I know its pretty below the belt with the whole sympathy vote thing, but I have a cast on my arm, do a poor girl a favour and REVIEW ;) ;) xxxx*