*A.N. - First of all a shout out to Kimmie40 for her thorough review of chapter 10 ;)
Secondly, Yeah! I have another chapter up and ready and it's 5000 words plus, so guys, bear with me, I will get this story up and running again :D Alice gives a few explanations iin this chapter that alot of you have been wanting for a while, so I'm just hoping you will enjoy ;)

And Thirdly OMGOMGOMGOMG! 281 favs on this story 323 alerts and 285 reviews. Wowza!
Thankyou xxxx
Songs I wrote it to :
Thriving Ivory - Angels on the Moon

You Runaway - Barenaked Ladies

The Kills - I Hate the Way You Love

Natalie Merchant - My Skin*

Could life get much crueller? I soon found myself sitting bare foot in the front of Edward's car while Alice and Rosalie wailed over a passed out Emmett in the back and the whole time I felt absolutely horrid because really it was my entire fault that he was like that. Edward's face was taught with determination and I didn't know whether to be pleased that he had fucked up my plan and somehow fucked up his friendships too or be pissed off that he had interrupted my plan uncalled for.

No one was actually talking to each other, as I said; there was wailing and crying and sobbing, but no talking. I felt sort of psychotic sitting there, not caring as much as I should have but somehow every time I started feeling sorry for him I remembered how they had stuck my head down a toilet pan and how they had chopped off my hair and how they had made me look as if I'd peed myself... the list went on and on and suddenly my heart was hardened to the oaf. It was with curiosity though that I eyed Edward Cullen on the drive up to the hospital. I still couldn't process that selfish Edward Cullen had dropped himself in it rather than his brother. It confused me. It went against everything I told myself Edward Cullen was.

I broke the silence. Not a very me thing to do; lucky all I had done lately is be someone else. "Edward," I whispered. He had the air conditioning on at full blare so it would have been near on impossible for the noisy girls in the back to hear what we were saying.

He swallowed before he answered, as if he was afraid of what I might ask, and I noticed his throat bob. " Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" his jaw muscles contorted slightly before relaxing giving him a momentary agonised look before calmed himself. I couldn't even fathom why I was speaking to him.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?" I gave a nervous giggle.

"Well Emmett's in the back seat passed out from a head injury and everyone thinks it's my fault... so why are you asking me if I'm okay?"

I took a deep breath, "Well for one thing, I can't actually ask Emmett if he's okay because he's passed out, another thing is that technically Jasper overreacted heavily and should never have went for Emmett like that and also... if that was your phone then you obviously never meant to get your brother seriously injured with your antics, and I doubt that at this present moment the rest of your friends and family will understand that, they'll just blame you."

His lips trembled slightly in an effort to hold his emotions in check and I did something that I should never have done, it pushed both my mind and his I think his too far. His hand was on the gear stick and I reached out mine, gently touching the top of his hand, brushing my fingers across his in a gesture of friendship but the shock we both got from each other was so great that I saw his eyes widen in surprise at it. It wasn't just a physical shock but Edward wasn't a dolt; he knew we weren't the best of friends and a gesture like that was very out of sorts for the Bella he knew. Heck, it was out of sorts for the Bella I knew.

This is Edward Cullen here and I was treating him as an equal which he will never be, never can be if there is just an ounce of fairness in the world.

"Th- Thankyou," he faltered as he spoke back to me, "I really just want my brother to be okay but they all hate me now, everyone of them think I'm who I used to be they all believe that-" just then my mind got very weary of where exactly this conversation was going, I was embedded into Edwards past and whatever happened I didn't think I could face listening to him describing the sort of person he 'used to be' that person was just far too familiar to me and I liked to keep him out of my mind at all costs. "I've turned into that person again when in actual fact it couldn't be more the opposite but I just don't want relationships and strong friendships to break up because I don't want to lose face... so I guess I'm just going to have to bear the brunt of this mess," he sighed and I wondered, had things been differently would I be looking at him right now and awed by his sense of righteousness or would I not be fooled by his reputation. I wanted it to be the latter but I couldn't say for sure.

We sat in silence until the car pulled up at Forks Hospital. It was then that I remembered I had no shoes on and Alice instantly pulled a pair out of her bag; ballet pumps for her feet in case they got soar in the heels. They were stretchy so even though her feet were a size smaller than mine they fitted perfectly.

I forced myself to leave the car and help support Emmett; Edward did the same. His heavy arm was gently put over my shoulder and both Edward and I put a hand under his begs to keep him moving; he was now semi conscious. I could smell the beautiful and enticing aftershave he wore, I could hear the rasping of his heavy breathing, his weight was certainly one to be hold; I was practically crouching beneath it.

Both of the girls were a quivering wreck. They ran ahead calling for a stretcher and soon it was in front of him and the heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders, Emmett's sweet scent was gone.

They put and oxygen mask on him just in case of any struggle to breathe and the three of them ran ahead to be with him, Edward without thinking flinging me the keys to his car. And I was stood there in silence. I looked down to the crusting blood on my arms and hands; it was still partially light outside. I could see the blood drying a scarlet under my finger nails. My body shook as I opened the car door and sat down. I didn't know how I had managed to hold myself together through that encounter with blood but somehow I had overcome my fear; I had been forced into controlling myself.

I felt the tears brim and then they were gone. I sat up straight. Looked in the glove compartment for something to wipe the stains from my skin. I found some Windolene and a cloth. I used it anyway.

Anything to remove the metallic smell of blood. I looked to the back of the car and noticed the leather seats were slick with the red liquid; I climbed into the back and sprayed across the entire seat, scrubbing at them until the blood was gone. I looked at the gearstick and there was just one drop there. There was a smear on the left hand-side backseat window. How the hell it got there I didn't know but I cleaned it anyway. Anything to block out what I had done. It was me and I would try my utmost to remove the memory of what I did from my head. I would completely pretend to them, to myself, that I had nothing to do with this massive misunderstanding. I would let the brother work it out between themselves that they had been played for fools but I would not be found out, it had gone too far now. I was in it now, in for a penny in for a pound my mother always said and it was like that now. I made the decision to fuck their lives up and I would just be more careful next time but I couldn't deny that I got some sort of happiness out of what had happened tonight until I realised that he had been seriously injured.

I had felt sorry for the friends I now knew but I had been grinning with happiness and a stunned sense of relief because I was Isabella Dwyer, no matter how much I call myself Bella Swan I'm always going to be the fatty Isabella Dwyer. I need to think about what she wants from me and stop pretending that their friendships were enough to combat my aggressive urge for revenge. Nothing was enough. Nothing could stop me.

It was with a hard face that I entered the hospital twenty minutes later. I asked at reception for Emmett Cullen; she looked me up and down and knew better than to ask me questions me being covered in blood and all. She sent me to where he was and I was greeted by a dry eyed Alice's hug, "Bella! He's okay, it wasn't too deep a cut and he's nearly completely alert now. My Dad's here now and he's taken over, he's sorting everything out. The story is that Emmett tripped over cause he'd drunk a bit too much and smacked his head off of the plug socket. No one's speaking to Edward either, and I hate doing this but I'm agreeing with them, this is just the last straw for him, he's driving everyone insane acting the way he is and because of him being a stupid idiot Emmett has just had four stitches in the side of his head and would have an overnight stay at hospital if it wasn't for dad being a doctor."

I breathed in, I couldn't believe I was doing this but cutting him totally off from his family right now would mean that I couldn't see him meaning it would be a hell of alot harder to play puppet master with his life; "with Edward, are you sure you're doing the right thing, you know, not talking to him at all-"

"Positive. Edward needs to learn that his family aren't there to be messed about whenever he feels like it."

"But he obviously never meant for that to happen..."

"Bella." She gave me what was surprisingly almost a scathing look, "he sat there while they argues and just let them argue for his own amusement, what sort of brother and friend does that?"

I nodded. It was the only thing I could think of doing, "Okay, but I'm not ignoring him, I know it's quite contrary to what I was like a couple of weeks ago but I saw him and the car and seemed... well pretty cut up about everything, he never realised it was all going to go that far..."

"Well I won't hold that against you Bella it's just that you didn't know the guy he used to be and we are, as a family unit, sending him the message that we don't want him if he's going to be that person again. He won't be accepted into our family if he continues to act the ways he's been acting," she sighed sadly, "I love him and all, but I refuse to watch people be trampled on by him."

The line was so on the dot that I almost grinned like a dolt at her...

7 Years Ago

The bell rang for recess and I jumped from my seat as did every other child in the classroom. We all ran to the door, then to the cloakroom, pulling on our trainers and summer jackets. Edward Cullen was off school today. I even smiled as Angela and I walked out of the door into the playground.

Some class in the school had been using the playground as a place to play outdoor games during their gym time and had left a game of soccer out. The foldable goal posts were still up and the line drawing the centre of the game was still viewable.

Excitement built up inside me as Angela and I lines up against the school walls to be picked. We wouldn't be last picked as we were higher up year groups and there would be no point in leaving us until last.

I was on Emmett and Tanya's team; I watched the kick off and decided to stay in defence. I ran and jumped and headered and kicked the ball; I genuinely was quite good at the game, no matter how much people thought my weight would hold me back. Fair enough, I was running up a bit of a sweat after ten minutes but I had defended the goals many times by then. I grinned in an exhilarating run to the ball and faltered when I suddenly realised who was in front of me. He had come from nowhere. I went from enjoying myself to be horribly self conscious of what I was wearing and how red my face was.

Edward grinned at me as he ran at me with the ball. He should have tried to move around me, or to the side of me but he chose to run right at me and at the list minute switch to my right side swinging out his left leg and catching mine, tripping me on to my back.

Then there was the fearful moment before everyone running at full pelt behind him actually got to me and tripped onto me. The moment where everything stopped and my heart skipped a beat and fear. I managed to crouch into a ball before the all hit me. My screams lasted for a long time as several boys and girls fell onto of me. My knee had been scratched along the ground as my body tried to wriggle free, quite a deep cut. It gushed blood. As I opened my eyes dizzily to the look upwards, I found I was staring into ones the colour of the grass, but with much less life in them.

End Memory

I remember being told off of Angela after it that Edward had been at a dentist appointment that morning, just my luck that he had come back to school so early. Just in time to make my life a misery. I knew that if I looked down right now at my knees they would be threaded with little white scars, faded now, close to skin color. All Edward and his gangs doing. Overtime they had built up a fair multitude of scars all over my body. Small the majority of them were, but still, they were there. And I wanted them to be gone, every single one of them; especially the one on my heart.

But Alice had that she wouldn't allow that, even though he was her own brother. She was bigger than that.

As I stood talking to Alice I found myself wondering how the divide was beginning in my head. Edward younger was in a totally different section in my head than the present time Edward. It was confusing because when I had first re-met Edward they had been completely the same person but now I felt as if they were split. Different. I pondered this just as Edward, his head hung in what would have looked like shame to Alice rounded the corridor of the ward.

Alice instantly cast her eyes to him then to me then stalked off. I wondered whether to follow her but she was fast as lightening and Edward was directly in front of me by the time she was out of sight.

I didn't hesitate this time and I put my arms around him, giving him a big hug. I could see the upside of being his friend in this situation, I was gaining trust. My coldness shocked me but propelled me onwards at the same time. Think Bella. Think what he did to you. Think about the things he said to you, do you not think just for say a month or two of his life he deserves to be hurt?

I knew the answer of course and I thought it over as he hugged me back, his chin touching my forehead, warmth spreading out through me. It wouldn't be hard to pretend to like him, to be his friend for a little while. I found when I didn't over think things they went smoother so I just allowed myself to be with him, out of my own calculating mind for a little while, I could mull it over later.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Forgetting what's just happened, please just look at me as the person you have seen me be in the past few days. Everyone else is angry at me and I like you Bella. We were just becoming good friends," speak for yourself, "and then this has happened; can you just give me the benefit of the doubt and see past this. I don't want to lose everyone." Shame that's what you deserve then, Cullen.

"Yeah, I made the decision to do that in the car...," I took the plunge and stared into his emerald eyes; something I tried to avoid, there was the danger of getting lost in them, "You can trust me, I can see who you truly are." He could interpret those words as he liked, no doubt they'd be something different to both of us but that wasn't my fault.

As I inhaled his sent I hugged him properly, and he hugged me, I felt him cry inside, I knew he was in pain and the two separate sides of my brain screamed at each other, one was too happy and the other was too sad. It was confusing to be inside my head but as I kept telling myself I had decided on being like this.

"You know, you're so different to anyone I've ever known," he let go of me and I took a step back, just a small one, I had the confidence to look him in the eye. "I..." but he wasn't allowed to finish that sentence and Jasper hail had just ran around the corner and came to a halt as he saw him.

I saw Jasper grit his teeth and almost felt Edward tense beside me. I took the initiative and stood in front of Edward. "No more fighting tonight." I instructed and although Jasper looked ready for another punch up he passed by Edward and into the room that Emmett was in.

An hour or so passed and as I made the decision to leave I was told by Alice that I would still be staying at her house tonight, I refused but she told me not to be silly and that Emmett wouldn't want our sleepover plans to be interrupted by him getting a cut to the head. I laughed at that one.

I felt like I would be interrupting a bit on a family at high doe, Esme had turned up at the hospital now, she had ill with a migraine and looked pretty worse for wear when she got to the hospital, she had even got a taxi up because she was worried about driving in that condition. I didn't blame her, by the looks of the black circles around her eyes and the bloodshot redness on them she really should have been in bed.

Edward and I were in the ward with Emmett, Carlisle was practically head of the hospital so rules were sort of thrown to the wind, and after all, this was Carlisle's son we're talking about. Carlisle looked quite pissed off at Esme if anything for being here in the state she was in; she sort of sat in a chair and sunk into it. Edward and Alice both gravitated to her side, bringing her a shot of coffee and glass of water. Rosalie fussed over Emmett and he sat stiff as a board with her. He too looked pissed off at his other half. Then I looked to Jasper and Alice, the one couple that I wanted to leave out of things and they looked just as split as the rest. Tonight had been a great success for Isabella Dwyer, shame I couldn't bring myself to feel happy with the outcome.

Everyone stayed at the Cullen house that night, there were several unused guestrooms, I mean the place was colossal in size but as it turned out, Rosalie stayed with Emmett, Jasper on the couch and I stayed in Alice's room.

I looked at the place in pure wonderment, it was gorgeous. How could a child who had grown up in this household want for anything? Even in the pitch black the place was practically fit for a king. It was as remote as it could be within Forks and driving back I had been worried about the treacherous roads but Edward handles the swift turns and hills of the road as if were all second nature to him.

I lay at the other end of the double bed that Alice had, the mattress literally was the most comfortable thing my limbs had ever lay on and my eyes wanted to close the second my head had hit the pillow but Alice wanted to talk, or rather, she wanted to have a little cry about the situation she was now in.

"Bella, I just don't know what to do, seeing him just take everyone being so pissed off at him is heartbreaking, he's my brother I shouldn't be treating him like this but... but he's got to learn right?" she looked for my advice and I just gave her a non-committal shrug of the shoulder. "You see, the thing you have to know about Edward is that he's damaged goods in a way."

Her eyes bore into me, telling me silently that this was never to be repeated, I braced myself.

"A few years ago, Edward's long term girlfriend cheated on him. Now it might sound stupid to you but Edward and she had been together for years and years and suddenly at the age of 14 she was sending boy's pictures of her in her underwear, even having sex behind his back. Edward hadn't even had sex yet but Tanya was already working her way through a string of guys." I went to say something and she put a finger up, there was more, "so as if that wasn't enough, the rest of the school found out. A boy she had been sending pictures to naked and sleeping with him sent them to his entire text inbox.
As you can imagine it was mortifying. Edward had given her everything, and people had been talking about her before that; Edward had fought with a boy who had implied she had been doing the dirty on him and she had swore that he was lying. Got Edward grounded for a month and his allowance cut for fighting and... She just abused his trust and love.
He was only fourteen but he really thought he was in love, all he knew was Tanya, and she was the only girl he'd ever looked at. He spoiled her, did everything she wanted him to do and he was only 14 himself. That's why he is the way he is with girls and that's why Tanya moved away, her parents found out because all the girls weren't talking to her in school and all the boys were either coming on to her or taking the piss out of her, they moved her school, just moved house and everything for her atrocious behaviour." She was silent for a few seconds before carrying on, "Edward wasn't a nice person back then but when Tanya left and Jasper and I came into the picture he changed, he saw what the things people said to Tanya did to her, even after he'd broken up with her he watched her become a shell of her former self as the people in school made fun of her.
The person he loved was being bullied and he was too proud to go back with her – rightly so, but he saw what was wrong with acting the way he was acting. That's why I believe he changed, that and me." She smiled slightly, "In all modesty Edward loves me to bits and when they adopted me, I'd...," her voice cracked, "I'd been through alot and I needed him to be strong for me, I needed my new family to provide support and both Edward and Emmett stepped up to the task. Although it would never be wise to say this to them, they both look up to each other and because they both took to me, they both became better people and they supported each other as the changed.
But the difference between them is that Emmett had Rosalie to rein him in, to spend his spare time with and very soon I had Jasper. Edward still found it hard to think about girls and having relationships... yet every guy had his manly needs," I gave her a nod to show her I understood what she meant, "so he started going to Port Angeles at the weekend or hanging about at the park with Tyler and Carson, meeting girls, kissing them. Sometimes more than that. Then leaving them.
I don't think Edward's been in a single relationship since Tanya, childhood sweethearts they were and sometimes I wonder if he'll ever properly heal from that wound."

The room was dark, shadows crept across it as I looked around, searching my mind for what I should say to her. Seems like Tanya's personality had its own revenge on her. It surprised me that it had been Tanya who had broken their relationship up, I had always assumed that it was Edward, looking at him nowadays; he seemed quite the type to have fucked up their relationship. The still of the night sent a shiver up my spine, giving me a minor fright as Alice started to speak again.

"That's why I'm worried Bella," she heaved a great sob and I struggled out of the covers to the top of the bed to put my arms around her, "if he goes back to the person he was before I came along then what will happen to our family? Everyone had done a 180 on the person he used to be but he's only managed a 90." I smiled a little at the comparison, "of all the things to do, he's been dirty texting? Then letting Emmett take the blame, what the hell? So unlike him... maybe he's just not the person I thought he was."

Yet again I was stuck for words, already too submerged in my own thoughts to give words of comfort. At the end of the day I had only been her friend for a few weeks, we got on very well so I could understand the outburst... but what did she want me to say, I don't even know the boy.

Correction. I know the boy very well; I just don't know the boy she is talking about. The nice, thoughtful, supportive guy has never been shown to me.

I woke up early in the morning; the huge window had not had the curtains drawn on it last night as it had been so dark when we had went to bed. Last night had been an odd occasion, it still felt surreal but the second I woke up I knew exactly where I was and how I had to act. My chequered pyjamas were of the shorts and t-shirt kind and I looked over to Alice who was snoring lightly to see what pyjamas she was wearing... I didn't want to show too much skin, but Alice had the same sort of pyjamas as me so it seemed I was okay.

I wondered when I had become someone who analysed everything. I quietly got out of bed and ran to my backpack with all my things in it. Alice shared a bathroom with Emmett so I would have to leave the room to get a shower. I gawped at the printed images on Alice's wall, a plain white background with flowers, animals and fashion signatures printed across it in a glossy black. It was beautiful. The massive set of drawers were what looked like a wooden set painted white; ornate and beautiful. A closet lining one of the walls had a mirror as the opening doors. Then to add to all of that... Alice had created a masterpiece. It literally looked as if she had gotten a rainbow and thrown pieces of it on different parts of the furniture, the walls and the sofa was a large fabric one with the imprint of coloured miniature flowers. Everything was so different yet it fitted together perfectly. It was a room that when described it is not done justice, it is only when you see it that you realise just how beautiful it really is.

It hadn't really sunk in that I was in the house with Edward, Emmett and Rosalie all at the same time, not just a house but there house. I was welcome too. Alice had told me where the bathroom was last night. I looked over to her, she was fast asleep and it was probably very early still, I just didn't sleep well in other people's houses even if the bed were much comfier than my own.

I opened the door quietly and turned to the left, walking a few paces along the second floor hall and slowly opening the bathroom door so I didn't wake anyone. I was hit in the face by hot air, steam. Blinded by it. Then out of it came to emeralds, baring into me, making my knees shake together, and causing me to be frozen on the spot. Then a whole face emerged, then the body. I could see it all out of the corner of my eye but I never actually looked down, I couldn't remove my eyes from his.

The silence was unending until he cleared his throat and I was brought out of trance, my eyes gave his body a once over not even thinking what they were doing. His chest was exquisite, muscular and toned with a brush of auburn hair trailing down below his belly button but the view was cut off by a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist.

"I..." I opened my mouth then couldn't think of anything to say so I closed it. He naturally looked like that compared to me who had had to change so much about myself to be who I was today. I experienced a strong sense of self consciousness as I looked at his incarnate perfection.

"Sorry," he spoke slowly, I thought momentarily that he could be patronising me but then thought better of it as I realised that his eyes were very serious, "I forgot to lock this door too, there's a door that leads in here from my bedroom and I... forgot. I'll just get out of your way."

I nodded, biting my lip. He opened the door out of the massive bathroom and then there was only one of us.

I took a deep breath and pretended that hadn't happened, especially when I looked in the mirror. I hadn't taken my makeup off so I really didn't like the idea of having being seen as something which resembled a panda.

I tell you something though; I remembered to lock both doors.

I changed within the bathroom, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and changed my 24 hour contact lenses, it really wasn't good for my eyes to be wearing them over night but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I had decided to dress down a bit; jeans, a black tank top and a navy blue tartan shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I had my military boots back in the room and there was no point in putting them on inside a house anyway. I swept my hair into a towel and set back off down the hall. While I was in the Cullen house I needed to be normal. If this plan was going to start working I had to get closer and closer to them all, gain their trust. It was time for some real action.

*A.N. – Hope you liked it ;) it was a bit odd I think, a little more disjointed that usual but the accident in the previous chapter has sort of made her like that... you know ? Please REVIEW. Tell me your thoughts, I write for you guys too and it means alot to see what you think... the longer the review the better :D :L xx*