*A.N. – well I did as some of you requested and put a few viewpoints in, nothing in depth but it gives you a little more understanding to the story, hope you enjoy x*

Jaspers POV

My mind pounded, everything all over was aching. My hands had formed into something resembling claws. I looked at them and they looked as if rigor mortus had set in. My body was on fire with the pain. I tried to scream but nothing came out, nothing at all, my mind wouldn't even open and it was then that I really clicked on to the fact that I was looking at my body from an outside perspective. I wasn't actually inside my body. I knew I was in pain, and I was worried for myself but I wasn't actually in that pain, it wasn't actually me going through that again. Which could only mean one of two things, one I was dead or two, I was dreaming...

The drum beat began, I watched my body as it turned blue, as the eyes stopped rolling in their sockets and became still and glazed over. I watched the figure in the corner step closer and closer, not yet lifting her eyes from the floor but I knew exactly who she was. Her hair was the color of mine but much, much longer. When she finally lifted her face to mine, the drum beat got faster and faster, tears streaked her cheeks and I felt myself sob for her. Then suddenly the drumbeat reached a crescendo-

And I opened my eyes.

At first I was disorientated, the surroundings were not my own bedroom but soon I remembered the night before and everything it had entailed. It became clear why I was here. I realised the source of the bang as I heard Bella mutter "ouch". I sat up and turned to face her; her hair was up in a towel but otherwise she looked completely ready. She bit her lip and was holding onto the side of the wall, it looked like she had just walked smack into the door frame.

"Shit Jasper," she murmured, "sorry I woke you, I was coming down to get a glass of water and Alice is still asleep and has been for the past hour or so and, well I really just needed a drink so I thought she wouldn't mind if I came downstairs, I thought you would have been sleeping in the guest bedroom?" It sounded more like a question to me that a statement, so I answered her.

"Well after last night... Fuck I don't even know Bella," I heaved a sigh into my hands, "I just couldn't even pass Emmett's bedroom, I didn't want to hear my sister weeping and I definitely didn't want to face the sight of Emmett all fucked up just cause I never waited and asked questions. Plus, I don't know if I could have passed by Edward's room without confronting him, I didn't want another fight tonight."

"Oh," she breathed softly and tilted her head slightly at me, "you have a good few bruises blooming, you know, and a few grazes."

I nodded. It had probably been when, at one point, my head had made a scraping contact at the ground gritty from others footsteps. The bruising was just an after effect of my previous illness; my body was still quite over sensitive.

For a second she seemed torn whether to be too shy to voice her next thought or not. It may have looked like just premeditation before a thought to others but I had some sort of sixth sense for that stuff. I had lay in bed for a good amount of time studying faces and emotions to see what they would betray of my condition, what followed always explained to me what certain almost hidden expressions had meant... I was pretty good at reading people basically. She brought up the courage of course, "Come into the kitchen, you're best getting those scratches washed out, don't want any infection," she was probably right, my illness had left me weak at times and this morning I was not feeling so good, quite nauseas in all honesty.

"Yeah sure," I stood up stiffly, my bones sometimes felt as though they had been through many more years than they, yet another effect of my illness. I loped over to the sink and pulled out two stools. Out of habit I looked to the clock and saw that it was only seven o'clock, even Alice wouldn't wake up till eight and she was an early bird compared to the rest of the Cullens. She ripped of some kitchen roll and smiled an apology;

"Sorry. I don't exactly know my way around and kitchen roll can't be too bad." I nodded again; I was slightly awkward with her I guess. She probably was disgusted with my behaviour last night and was being nice to me just because of her friendship with Alice...

Alice. Oh God my Alice, I would be crucified alive for what I had done basically. She had hardly let me touch her last night, she had once hugged me properly and sunk her head into my chest but more out of relief that her brother was okay than anything else really. She would be seriously pissed off with very good reason. How could I have made such a mess of this situation? However, the biggest confusion was that, if I hadn't went for Emmett, would Edward have told everyone it was his – it really did make much more sense than Emmett having done it. When I found those sick cards he had put in the girls bathroom I thought I might have torn him limb from limb but when saw him at the hospital all I could see was genuine anguish in his eyes for his brother. I hadn't been able to even verbally abuse the asshole. After all, he was like a brother to me.

I was reigned back into the functioning world as Bella rubbed hard at the bottom of my chin where I apparently was covered in dirt, it stung quite a bit and from the smell of it she was using soap.

"Ouch," I murmured and she pulled away and looked at me, giving a serious look with her deep brown eyes, had I not been completely in love with Alice I would have seriously considered giving it a go with Bella, not only was she beautiful but she really was a lovely person.

"I'm really sorry that you didn't enjoy the party last night," she said it so reverently, with so much meaning, it rang true. I knew she was truly pained that we had had a horrible night. "I wish it didn't have to end like that... Do you think Emmett will forgive Edward?" she questioned timidly.

I stared back at her as she stopped rubbing at my face full of scratches and began a very deep conversation, "Well I don't think Emmett is the biggest problem to be honest. It's Alice that will hold it over him. I know it sounds weird but Emmett, from what I've heard has seen him make worse mistakes than this, but Alice is mortified by what she seen last night. It showed a real evil streak through him that she had only ever seen undercurrents of."

She looked thoughtful for a moment; her face was masked, her emotions hidden from me. I wondered if she had taken to Edward lately and if last night had been a shock to her. It would certainly explain the gentle probing about Edward the past few weeks. I don't even know if she realised she was doing it but she asked a few more questions than was normal about him. She was hot and cold with him. I doubt anyone had noticed it but I sensed a crush between the two of them. If it wasn't for last night I would have been rooting for James to lose his charm and for her and Edward to unite; now I was glad she was able to escape him. "Jasper... I don't understand why he would have lied like that?" there she went again. Definitely a crush I decided.

"You probably know this by now but Edward never used to be a nice guy," her downcast eyes showed me she knew, "well every now and again I think his nasty side just jumps out and he actually surprises himself by listening to it. We all think he needs someone to tie him down, someone he can be affectionate with and someone who will return them with good measure but also, someone who will take no nonsense." I eyed her speculatively, she looked up and a spark lit her eyes. I was torn between smiling and worrying that I had just given her a bad idea. Maybe it would be easier for everyone to forgive him if he had the backing of a down to earth and thoroughly independent Bella Swan. She wouldn't take no for an answer when it came to his wanton, nasty whatever it be traits that we had all thought had disappeared but had turned out just to be lurking beneath the exterior.

"Okay," Bella answered plainly then said that she would have to go upstairs and text her dad telling him that she would be home later. She left me sitting on the stool after asking if I was following her up to speak to Alice. I said, that was one situation that should wait until others surrounding it were sorted out. With Bella gone my mind became engrossed with thoughts of last night. It suddenly broached my mind that my sister would be upstairs with Emmett, probably only half asleep with worry. I would have been if it had been my Alice that had been attacked and put in hospital. There was no pride in it for me, I would never have beaten Emmett without him smashing his head against the wall. It had been an unfair fight in all ways and it was time I stopped attending to myself and just went upstairs and spoke to them. I would have to do it eventually, better sooner than later.

I stood outside his door, pulling the courage from everywhere I could; it was only fair that I spoke first, that I comforted my sister as she had spent many years at my bedside comforting me. She was deserving of it. It was with those thoughts that I opened the door.

My sister was huddled in a ball on the king size bed alongside Emmett, she was under one of his arms. Obviously he had been awake enough to comfort her and tell her that it was okay, that he wasn't hurt too badly. It reminded me an awful lot of the sweet words he once muttered to her outside my bedroom door years ago when they both thought I was asleep. In actual fact I had just been to sore to open my eyes or to grunt even in a response to their visit;
"Don't worry kitten," she had sobbed it this point and I had imagined him wiping away her tear as it was something I could not do for my darling sister at that moment, "I'll always be there, no matter what, I'll be there to hold you and tell you that you're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on, and truly Rose... everything will be alright."
A tear brimmed and threatened to over flow but I brushed it away with a finger. I couldn't believe that I had thought Emmett not good enough for my sister, that he had done something so monstrously hurtful to her. I should have known better, if there was one thing you could trust Emmett as a constant with it was Rosalie.

So I set out to apologise, gently shaking them and beginning to apologise the second they opened their eyes... disappointed and hurt they both were but by the end of what I had said it looked like I was wrong about Emmett being the easier one for Edward to receive his forgiveness from. Emmett was livid.

Bella's POV

My mind was a constant whirlpool of tugging emotions, so much so that sometimes it was just easier to forget them, pretend I couldn't feel them at all. Alice had told me so much about them all and I had managed to refrain from thinking. I was mastering the skill of compartmentalizing. Yet I forgot that once I had it all boxed up in one side of my head and free from emotions I would have to face it when I was alone. When I had time to thoroughly think it all through.

My time alone with Jasper had given me more things to box away and I was beginning to realise that all too soon I would have too many boxes to open up and have a thorough think through. Of course there was the added worry that Jasper was seeing too much of me than was agreeable. I didn't like how he knew that I was probing him for information and I didn't like that he was noticing who the probing was about. However, I did like him and it was hard to have a conversation with him without letting my 'interests' in his friends come into the bargain.

I wondered why Alice hadn't risen yet and noticed with slight shock that sleeping pills were almost completely cocooned between bottles and photographs and other things on her bedside table. I decided to do my nosy.

Photographs lined the walls basically and although I had had a quick view of them I now wanted to give them a closer inspection. I put the towel from my hair into what I suspected to be the washing basket and began a tour of the room. The first picture was of her and Jasper probably a year or so earlier. It was quite surprising to see Jasper looking a lot frailer than he did now. His eyes sparkled with health but his body looked as though it had been put through hell. He wasn't, strictly speaking, nice looking in this picture. His eyes gave a burst of light to his overall complexion but otherwise his hollowed cheeks and slightly jaundiced skin made him look like a junkie who was in and out of rehab. If Jasper hadn't been Rosalie's brother, would his looks have been accepted within their attractive looking group? It was probably purely luck that he had turned into the gorgeous man he was now, filled out and healthy(er).

Next was one of Alice and her parents, Carlisle and Esme. I had seen them both last night but Esme was also in quite a contrast to her photograph. She was a beautiful woman really, looking younger than what her years must be judging by the age of her paternal son. She also had the same strange colour of hair as Edward, copper yet not quite, bronze. With a start I noticed that not only did they have the same colour of hair but the shared the same striking colour of eyes. Carlisle was very much like his son too; the straight bridge of their nose, the masculine jaw line. I didn't see his crooked smile in either of them, nor the particular shape of his eyes, they were original to him.

I browsed through pictures of their gang of friends together. As there was any of them at the time I was in Forks, I noted with shock that he was actually the odd one out rather than the main one. He had different girls in a couple of pictures, posing awkwardly with them, as if they were on a first date or something and they didn't really want any recorded proof of it as it wasn't going great... well that's the mood Edward gave off anyway. It was such a contrast to what it had always been, I wondered if he had really been that upset by Tanya's treatment that he changed or whether there were other things into the bargain. I picked up a picture of Emmett, Alice and Edward. Recent it looked.

"Such a charmer" a cold voice sounded in my ear, I turned in fright to Alice clad in her pyjamas; arms folded and bottom lip trembling from the effort to hold in emotions.

"I'm sorry-"I started but before I could even excuse my nosiness she spoke again.

"I want my Edward," she whispered sadly and I did something I wasn't used to, I embraced physical contact, I put my arms around her and gave her a hug as she lost the fight against tears. "We knew we were losing him again but I never realised... I just never knew he still had it in him to be so undermining," these constant depictions of Edward's character were starting to make me feel in the slightest bit sorry for him; he's done some horrible stuff but my conscience would definitely be more at ease had she been disgusted at some of the true things he had done. For now the fakery would have to do.

Jasper POV

I just had to get away, Alice wanted to speak to me, of course she would want to speak to me, she would want to shout and scream at me and I would respond by grovelling and, god willing, she would tell me she loved me and that I'd made a big mistake but she could forget and she would take me into her arms and it would not matter that I had been an ass... That was my Alice, but right now, it was not the time.

So I chose instead to drive to my safe house leaving a note pinned to Alice's unopened door. I went to the pharmacy.

I looked through the huge shelves and found the one with the anti-anxiety medication with ease. I had needed it an awful lot in the past few years, lately I had not had much use of it so I had stopped using it but I needed it now and would only have to have them type my name into the machine to know my medical history, not that all of the workers didn't know me anyway. Most of them had been at my several fundraisers for children who had been through what I had; my mother was good friends with a couple of the women who worked here as she been coming here so long so I knew I would have no need to explain to them my sudden undying need for anti-anxiety tablets.

I swallowed them happily as I sat in the car; they gave me the strength to carry on with the day. I didn't want to panic in front of them all. I wasn't hugely overstretched but seeing my sister so broken up about last night and knowing that I would need to ignore my best friends for a while because he had been such a dick made me sick to the stomach. Yet it was nothing compared to what I felt for Alice. How much I hoped she would understand why I did what I did.

Bella's POV

I entered Emmett's room to find him tucked up in bed with his girlfriend fussing around him and feeding him what looked like a considerably high amount food. "Jeese Louise Em, how can you be so hungry?" I laughed as he rolled his eyes, looking very much the bored invalid.

"Baby I'm fine," he complained as he sat up and Rosalie huffed. "Bella," he grinned at me, "check out the war wound," it astounded me the good mood he was in after last night's events; I had a niggling suspicion he was leaving his bad mood for someone else.

"Thanks..." Rosalie smiled with a certain amount of humility at me, much less haughtier a look than I was familiar with, "for everything you did last night." Emmett's face took on a more serious look and he nodded, winking at me.

I was becoming adept a pushing memories and guilt to one side of my mind while I spoke to the Cullen's, I liked how the flush of guilt I would have felt when I was alone was absent while I spoke to them. No sweaty palms. Just me having a chat with my hurt friend and his girlfriend.

I did just that, I chatted in a relaxed way with them; it was easy to just create conversation. When they thought I was their equal they were fun to talk to, I enjoyed it. It eased my mind to talk with them, to be joyful after last night. As if it never mattered and as if I hadn't injured someone seriously in the cause of revenge.

I finished speaking to them as their slight touches with each other became more intimate and I took it as my cue to leave.

I walked along the hall to Alice's bedroom, confused. I didn't know why but my head just wasn't working well with this overload of information, it just wasn't good enough, I would have to fix all of this now, I needed to learn better than this, function better than this!

As I opened Alice's door I saw the sweet sight of Jasper and hers embrace and I knew in all but a second that I couldn't interrupt, it had been my fault they were on bad terms anyway and this war I was fighting was nothing to do with them.

I stood out in the hallway once again. Feeling like such an outsider it churned the pit of my stomach. A tear streaked my face with the effort to hold it altogether. I was getting so close to them yet so far away from the children I knew that had hurt me. I wanted to see their nasty sides once again, wanted proof that they were even the same people. I felt like I was cruel and cold hearted but how could it be me when they were the ones who caused this.

I leaned my forehead against the wall. No doubt their parents would be up soon and it would be time to leave because they obviously had business to deal with even though their guest had been moved into a nearby high class hotel due to Emmett. I breathed slowly and pulled myself upright but just as I was about to turn around and walk back to Alice's room the toilet door opened and a face was suddenly in front of mines.

"Bella I need to speak to you." He never waited for an answer just took my head sending a pulse through my arm and pulled me into his bedroom with only a slight shocked squeal coming from my mouth.

Edward's POV

I heard footsteps, they didn't match Alice, Jasper, Emmett or Rosalie, nor my parents. I knew who it must be. I put the washed razor back on top of the cabinet. I stood at the door leading out into the hall. Breathed then did what I had been dying to do.

I sat on my bed while she sat stiffly on my piano stool.

Bella.

The name bore such a resemblance to the name of someone I tried never to think of.

I wonder if her full name is the same as... hers.

I would never have the guts to ask, I couldn't bring her up. I struggled to let her memory roam my thoughts at all never mind bringing her into them purposefully.

Focus. You better say something to Bella.

I drew another breath and stood up. I towered over her, it was then I realised how frail she looked. In her eyes I saw a flash of something, too quick for me to work out what it was but in the split second she seemed to have become more hostile towards me. She shifted backwards on the seat and without thinking I moved forwards. Her eyes widened and I never spoke, I wanted to talk and tell her exactly why I'd gotten her to come in her but I thought it might be better if I showed her. Explained without words what she had caused.

I sat down beside her; ignoring, in a way, the look she was obviously giving me for invading her privacy uncalled for. It was weird to get such response from a girl, normally my closeness would cause them to relax or at least they'd be neutral, not like this. Hopefully showing her this would work.

She was faced the opposite way from the piano and I looked at her, making direct eye contact, willing her to turn around. She did.

I placed my fingers on the piano pushed my luck and squeezed up closer to her. Willing myself to do this without a hitch, it had been a long time before the past couple of weeks. My piano had lain dusty and untuned and I had let it be no matter how I craved it. Every small song I had written for Tanya, every last note I burned, I extricated it from my mind. But, I had been a boy wonder on the piano and the second I had a new inspiration it burned through me, broke the walls down that I had built up.

I pressed down and began slowly, lightly, highly. The first time I ever saw her face, I repeated it; the thud of my heart as I watched her turn and run. I knew she had looked me in the eye but something in her face showed denial. I ran for her, I ran my fingers harder across the keys, the great crescendo I had thought out to make it perfect for her. The argument that followed over nothing then the cooling of her temper. I paused, and then began again, daring not to take my eyes from in front of me, I couldn't bear to look at her, to see what she thought of it. I didn't want to see her face until I had expressed every emotion she made me feel through the keys, I did all I could to make her understand. I carried on with the way we met and argued. Smacking the keys when I thought of how she frustrated me yet intrigued me at the same time. Quieting as I remembered those eyes, how sometimes, just sometimes she would let down her guard and show me something special, a true internal beauty.

Then I began to improvise, although it didn't feel like improvisation, I knew and heard the notes inside my head before I played them, before my finger struck the key I knew they were a perfect match for what had happened between us on the dance floor last night. But then I had to slow because I had to show her the pain I felt. I had to make her realise that watching her with James was like a scratch to the face, a claw across my mind; it sliced through me, stung me like hell yet watching her so happy was something to behold even through my own jealousy.

I began to close the sweet melody, her own lullaby. So soft were the notes as I thought of her last night, understanding, part of me believing that she believed me too. That she knew somehow I had not been responsible for the night before.

As the last notes played I savoured them before I would have to face her. To see if she had drawn from the lullaby what I wanted her to. I lifted my hands from the keys and turned to her. Her face was still turned down at the black and white keys, unreadable.

Bella Swan. Why do you strive so hard to prevent me from being with you? Why can you just not show me your feelings?

As if she had heard my thoughts she lifted her head and I saw the tears in her eyes. I knew that she knew what I felt. And as she opened her perfect lips to speak I did not even think but stole them with my own.

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