I decide to do what I do best, keep my mouth shut, as I think of what to say or what to do to help remedy this albatross between us. Vic is channeling me, as her lips are tight, as we head toward my cabin. Shockingly, she remains silent. I know this is very serious because she doesn't turn on the radio, either. The only sound is the sound of the rubber meeting the road.

Vic slows and makes the slight left turn into the dirt area where I normally park the Bullet.

I turn to look at Vic taking in her profile, "I guess we are going to just sit here."

"Vic, are you that mad at me you can't even speak to me?"

She looks out of her window toward my cabin; pulls off her sunglasses, looks back toward me, her eyes are tight with fury. Vic shoves her door open and catches it with her boot before it swings back into her. She steps out, makes her way around the truck, and yanks my door open as I unfold out of the truck.

Vic shoves me. She shoves me hard with her open palms in my chest but she doesn't let go and she falls into me as I land against truck seat. I wrap my arms around her and refuse to let her go holding her tighter as she tries to pummel my chest and shoulders.

"Why are you so upset, Vic?" I whisper in her ear.

"I can't lose you. I can't. I can't." I can tell she is crying but it's not tears of sadness it's tears of anger, pain, and passion.

I just hold her in my arms.

"Let go of me. I'm fucking mad at you. I don't want you to hold me."

I won't let go and we stay like this for a few minutes until I know she has calmed enough to stop crying. I hold her out with my hands engulfing her arms.

"Can you tell me what is going on?"

"That's the question of the hour, isn't it, Walt?"

"Suppose so."

"Fuck it. Here's the deal. I understand, hell I even respect you, for avenging Martha's murder. It's what I expect you to do but what I don't expect is for you to forget about the rest of us. The rest of us that are alive and that love you,Walt. It's as selfish as that and as honest as it gets. I don't want to fuckin' lose you to a stupid fucking decision that you can never take back."

I stand there assessing the little Tasmanian devil in front of me afraid she is ready to pounce on me again.

"Just for the record, I want an answer to my question."

"I don't know."

"What"

"I don't know when I stopped thinking about you as my deputy."

"Or somebody you want to fuck"

"I wouldn't say that Vic. It's more like somebody I would like to love."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Eventually."

"When"

"When I'm ready…and…um…when you're ready."

"Was I supposed to figure that out or was I supposed to just perpetually wait for you?"

"Well, Vic you are right about that. I'm not too good at expressing my feelings." My hand goes searching for words again. I chuckle, "but I'm sure you noticed that." I smile. "I ah know there's something here and it's something special but I also know that I wasn't ready for anyone until I resolved Martha's murder so I could say good-bye to her."

Vic's eyes move down to her boots, her arms folded and her lips twisted as if she is refraining from speaking to me.

"Not to mention, the ink on your divorce papers isn't even dry. So, why would I think you would be ready?"

"I'm sorry I pushed you. I shouldn't have done that but I was really scared today."

"I figured. After all you called Henry but we all do things we shouldn't because well we have too."

Vic stares at me with her head cocked to the side. I can see her brain twisting around trying to understand what is happening between us. It's a riddle I don't have the answer too, either.

I step closer and wait to see if she retreats, when she doesn't, I eliminate the space between us. A few months ago this would have been an uncomfortable stare down but standing here in front of my unfinished cabin it is the most natural thing in the world. I take my hat off and hit it on my right thigh while smoothing down my unruly locks with my left.

"I am very sorry for Martha, Walt. I am so very sorry for your pain."

"I know Vic, and I promise you I won't do anything that will take me away from you if you can promise me you can be patient with this old man and let this unfold at it's own pace no matter how slow. "

"I will think about it."

"ok"

"I'm fucking with you."

Vic moves closer, our bodies touching, "I can wait but only because you are worth it." She pauses, "at least I think so for now."

I lean down and our lips almost touch but I don't kiss her instead I pause. I slowly stroke the back of my hand up the side of her cheek and keep the small space between us, "May I kiss you good-night because I never want to kiss you good-bye."

"Yes"

My lips deliberately but gently guide hers to mine for a short soft kiss. I tenderly release her and whisper, "I want to be worth the wait, Victoria."

She walks back to her truck, starts it up and drives away leaving me standing in a spray of dust. I put my hat back on and head for my cabin. I feel worse now than I have all day, which I didn't think was possible. Good thing I have a stock of Rainer to see me through the night.

Three beers in and my phone rings.

"Hello"

"You're worth the wait".

I smile uncontrollably at her words.

"ok"

"But hey don't wait too long cause you're not getting any younger." The phone disconnects and for the first time in a very long time, the smile stays on my face.